| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How do I work this out? He shows no emotion at all. And in his own words is broken.
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months last night told me he doesn't love me anymore. I basically dragged it out of him. We have had loads of fights. Maybe everyday. But we are trying to work on this relationship. Both of his parents have cancer. (May contrib...
A. 8 November 2013: You hit him. That is your fault. You have no excuse. Period. Walk away from this relationship. ... (read in full...)
How do I work this out? He shows no emotion at all. And in his own words is broken.
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months last night told me he doesn't love me anymore. I basically dragged it out of him. We have had loads of fights. Maybe everyday. But we are trying to work on this relationship. Both of his parents have cancer. (May contrib...
A. 8 November 2013: You need to walk away from this relationship, and seek help for the anger that you have the causes you to hit someone who's parents both have cancer. You two can't be together, and the best thing would be for you to both to move on. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my job in this company!
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. I really could do with some advice. It is a long one, but bear with me, I need to get it all out to get the best advice and I really am at my wits end. So, I work in a small advertising company, I have been here just o...
A. 6 November 2013: I wouldn't bother speaking to her anyway. I work for a man who is nuts. Totally, completely nuts. Even when you ask for his help, he takes pleasure in taking the p**s. He basically does it to hide the fact that he's incompetent.
Instead, since yo... (read in full...)
He gives me butterflies. He said he is "Falling for me hard" - what does this mean?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three months now and I'm the happiest I've been in years, I literally can't remember the last time I was this happy in life. We have a lot of banter but he's also so sweet and caring and is a gentleman deep...
A. 5 November 2013: It means he's falling in love with you as well. You sound like a sweet, happy couple. Enjoy!... (read in full...)
I'd like to get back together with him -- could he be still thinking about it?
Q. My ex and I broke up mutually (but I initiated it) 2 months ago. We were having incompatibility issues but my time apart from him has made me miss him terribly. I got back in touch with him recently and he's been quite brief with his replies. I ...
A. 5 November 2013: I think that given his short responses, perhaps this won't work out for you. I also think you are perhaps overlooking the fact that this didn't work out before (just 2 months ago, you broke up with him"). I think that if you were to get back ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of the reaction I'll get if I tell my boyfriend I love him
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. His name is Jamie. I feel like I'm ready to tell him that I love him. I still get butterflies like when we first met. I feel so comfortable with him. He lets me fart in front of him and ...
A. 4 November 2013: Tell him. There's only one way to find out how he feels, and telling him is it. ... (read in full...)
Who should I go for? My fiance William or my soul mate Andy?
Q. I am at a relationship crossroads. I met my college sweetheart "Andy" when I was 18. We were friends for a year, and then dated for 3 and had planned to marry someday. We had typical young love problems and broke up when we graduated. He went to ...
A. 4 November 2013: You need to pick Andy. Your feelings aren't as strong for your fiance William as they are for Andy, and to be describing anyone other than your fiance as your soul mate like this shows that Andy is the one you should be with. Even if it never went ... (read in full...)
I sleep with him and he ignores me. Am I just a one night stand?
Q. So, a few weeks ago I was meeting up with this guy a few times a week. We met at a Bridal Fair so you can imagine my excitement at finally meeting a nice guy. Anyway, we met up to see movies at the cinema, grab food, etc. Then on one occasion we ...
A. 3 November 2013: Hi,
Sorry to tell you this, but you were or would have been a one night stand. I wouldn't bother contacting thus guy again. You don't need someone like this in your life. ... (read in full...)
What should be my next step in talking to this girl?
Q. allright guys, so my question here is kind of a simple one, how do i keep going? so i recently met a girl on the debate team for my high school, we're both sophomores, and it was the first time i ever talked to her. now normally i wouldn't have a ...
A. 3 November 2013: Your next step is to ask her out for a coffee/drink or something. She's flirting with you, she's single and she's given you he number. The light is green, so text her and ask her if she'd like to meet up with you at the weekend for a drink or ... (read in full...)
Should I cut my really long hair because my boyfriend likes short hair?
Q. I have really long hair. Myboyfriend an i really love each other. but he likes hair short so he is asking me to cut them. should i do what he says. i cant make up my mind but i do want to make him happy...
A. 3 November 2013: You should do what you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do. If you like your hair long, keep it that way. ... (read in full...)
Do guys care if a woman looks crappy after having sex?
Q. Question. Do guys get turned off when a girl looks like a great, big mess after having sex? She starts out looking killer but then her hair looks like this big frizzy mop from hell, mascara smudged all over her face... Etc. How do guys feel...
A. 3 November 2013: No man cares at all! We're too busy smiling. ... (read in full...)
How can girls be good enough to have sex with but not good enough to date?
Q. There is this guy and I really really like him and he talks to me all the time and is really sweet to me and also he's so good looking. I have known him for a very long time but we hadnt talked for over a year then he finally started talking to me ...
A. 3 November 2013: This is more of a reflection of him. He wanted sex, and basically used you for the sex. So the question you really need to ask is whether yo're happy just with the sex or whether you want more. If you do want more, then this guy isn't really for ... (read in full...)
My boss/manager is so hot! What do I do?
Q. Okay so I started a new job and the guy who interviewed me was so hot. It just so happens that he is the manager, head hancho in charge if the top top people aren't there, and MY department manager In the department store. I always see him a...
A. 3 November 2013: You're not going crazy! Dream away. ... (read in full...)
I know he just got out of a relationship ...
Q. I really hope and pray someone can please help me out. When I was young about 14 or so I was at a party and I met this guy we made out, then at one point we went outside and walked to a park and just talked. At that time he was a bit older so when ...
A. 3 November 2013: The best thing to do, if you like him, is to speak to him s a friend for now. I wouldn't speak to him too much, as you don't want to wind up as a rebound. But if you do like him, you do want to be there so he can sees you care. Don't put him under ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend wish things had worked out with him and his ex?
Q. Why would my boyfriend (31m) look at his exes pictures on facebook all the time if he says he hates her because of the way she treated him. Is it really because he dislikes her or because he still has feelings for her - wishes things had worked out? ...
A. 31 October 2013: Being absolutely honest, I don't think he's really over her. After 3 years, I would have thought that he would have let this one go. But he hasn't. To be saying that he hates his ex and to still be looking at her pictures all this time shows that ... (read in full...)
Not all fathers are good fathers, but what do you do?
Q. This isn't a question as such, more to see what other people's opinion on this is. I am all for a dad to have his rights and responsibilities towards his children. But what do people think a mother should do when there was domestic abuse in th...
A. 31 October 2013: I personally don't think that it should be up to the mother. The reason for that, is that if the law allowed the mother to make those decisions, I suspect that there would be a lot of cases where the children could be used more easily as pawns. ... (read in full...)
How do I break up with him? I love him with all of my heart
Q. Hi everyone. Well I've been in a relationship with a lovely guy for the last 4 years and I used to think he was the one. In fact I still do in some ways. However the last year or so has been very rocky because I've started to want more from the ...
A. 31 October 2013: Can you not show him this thread before you actually to end it? Sometimes men respond written posts and such more than hearing it. Maybe he'll actually make some sort of change if you show him this, and essentially say that he's either got to make ... (read in full...)
Should I talk about this when I meet up with an old friend?
Q. Should I talk about this when I meet up with an old friend? I'm meeting a friend this weekend, who I haven't seen for a few years. I want to talk about everything that has been going on recently, such as when I went on holiday for the weekend to v...
A. 31 October 2013: I think you should talk about him if you feel the time is right - and you'll know if and when that is when you're talking to your friend. I wouldn't go and see your friend with a list of things that you think you should and shouldn't talk about, or ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my standoffish sisters-in-law?
Q. My two sister in laws( the wives of my husbands brothers) always exclude me from hanging out with them, whether it be they're going out on family outings with their kids or if they're going out as adults. While they are out they'll both post a bunch ...
A. 20 October 2013: I think then the best option is to go with my other idea - that you're best not having much to do with them, and having friendships elsewhere. That said, please do speak to your husband, because he may well surprise you and not think they're 'girl' ... (read in full...)
She was once his Gf and he's in contact with her. Will I ruin my relationship if I don't stop acting this way?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now. My boyfriend is friends with most of his ex girlfriends, I am actually okay with this except for just one of the ex girlfriends...his serious relationship that lasted like over 2 years...
A. 20 October 2013: If I'm being honest, I'm not sure that you should be with this guy. And that's not because of you, and it's nor your fault. To be friends with an ex you got on with is one thing, but to be in contact with one who acted the way she did, isn't a god ... (read in full...)
She has recently broken up with her BF. She is a co-worker. Should I ask her out on a date?
Q. Kind of a weird one here. I work with this girl who I have liked for a while, 5 months ago we got drunk and kissed at a party and it didn't go so well in terms of trying to develop a relationship. I came across too serious and dramatic. So we didn't...
A. 20 October 2013: I think this could cause some confusion. If she has just broken up with her boyfriend, the last thing you want is to become a rebound. Personally, I would keep seeing her as a friend for a little longer, and maybe speak to her and see how she is, ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my standoffish sisters-in-law?
Q. My two sister in laws( the wives of my husbands brothers) always exclude me from hanging out with them, whether it be they're going out on family outings with their kids or if they're going out as adults. While they are out they'll both post a bunch ...
A. 20 October 2013: You may have already done this, but have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? He may be able to speak to his brothers, who turn may speak to their wives. Also, please remember that in-laws aren't everything in the world. Whilst I'm sure it ... (read in full...)
Then I met this guy.. He is a friend. But am I being led up the garden path here?
Q. I'm hoping some lovely aunts/uncles can advise me / voice your opinions and tell me if I'm being an idiot. I came out of an emotionally and slightly physical relationship at the start of the year, it was pretty horrendous and took me a while to...
A. 20 October 2013: You've done the right thing. It sounds like he has other things going on in his life now, and it's pointless to bother with someone who suddenly disappears like this. ... (read in full...)
What shall I do if my old manager gets this job?
Q. Hi, Please help. About 8 years ago I left my job in a call centre because of my manager. She took an instant dislike to me and made my job miserable that I started getting panic attacks. I left there and started another job in another c...
A. 19 October 2013: I would strongly suggest that you go to your current boss, or someone above, and make your feelings known. Hopefully they will listen. Don't sit there and suffer in silence. ... (read in full...)
My friend forced me to makeout, how do I get over this guilt? I can't tell my boyfriend!
Q. Please help Recently I made a dumb impulsive decision to let a friend of mine drop me off in his car. His shocking colors came to picture when he insisted to kiss me and makeout. I refused for making out but he started insisting and wouldnt drop...
A. 8 October 2013: My personal opinion is that you were basically assaulted. Of course, I wasn't there, so it's just an opinion, but from what you've written, you were assaulted by this guy, who you thought was a friend, which us just appalling. What you decide to do ... (read in full...)
Why do guys pretend like they are looking for a great personality when it's really just physical attraction they are looking for? Why don't people just admit the shallow truth?
Q. From experience and observation, I know for a fact that a huge majority men do NOT give a crap about a woman's personality. They just instantly know whether they are going to put up with a woman's crap or not. If you find someone physical...
A. 22 September 2013: Most men actually kook for both. I know I do. A man needs to find a woman physically attractive, but also mentally attractive. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if you're boring, spiteful, ignorant, hard work or high ... (read in full...)
We plan to wait for sex until marriage. He still tries it on me but get pouty if I don't let him.
Q. I'm 23yrs old while my boyfriend is 28yrs we've dating getting to 4yrs now and everything is moving fine we both love eachother so much and we've not have sex because we both agreed that sex should be when we get married but the last time i pay him ...
A. 21 September 2013: I don't think after 4 years it can be said that he's trying to get into your pants. If he wanted to do that, he'd have given up some time ago. What I would say, is that 4 years into a relationship is a long time not to have sex, and you've not ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like to do this in sex?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months now. When we make love I am very satisfied however he enjoys masturbating onto my face or into my mouth. I just don't get it. Why do guys think this is so great?...
A. 21 September 2013: I don't like doing this, and I'm sure there are others who don't either. But the two posters are correct below. This is from porn. If you don't like it, you don't have to put up with it. ... (read in full...)
She rejected me because of the distance, but is still texting me, even after she is dating someone else, why?
Q. Hi, I was wondering what people make of this. About two years ago I met someone when out at a bar. There was immediate attraction, and I thought she was too good for me. Then I found out she felt exactly the same about me. So much so we went ...
A. 21 September 2013: Sometimes people who are depressed, as this woman is, keep other people around because it makes them feel better. I don't think she's doing it on purpose, but she sounds very insecure and unhappy, and perhaps she's still speaking to you because in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is just getting his playboy magazine, now I am afraid to show him my own amateur pictures.
Q. Hi Everyone, I am having a problem trying to decide what to do. To give a little bit of a background, I have always had issues with my body and how I looked. I am pretty tall, 5'10" and have never been a skinny girl. Now, I'm not obese or severel...
A. 21 September 2013: I agree, give him the gift. He'll love it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is just getting his playboy magazine, now I am afraid to show him my own amateur pictures.
Q. Hi Everyone, I am having a problem trying to decide what to do. To give a little bit of a background, I have always had issues with my body and how I looked. I am pretty tall, 5'10" and have never been a skinny girl. Now, I'm not obese or severel...
A. 21 September 2013: I agree, give him the gift. He'll love it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is just getting his playboy magazine, now I am afraid to show him my own amateur pictures.
Q. Hi Everyone, I am having a problem trying to decide what to do. To give a little bit of a background, I have always had issues with my body and how I looked. I am pretty tall, 5'10" and have never been a skinny girl. Now, I'm not obese or severel...
A. 21 September 2013: I agree, give him the gift. He'll love it. ... (read in full...)
Moving my boyfriend into the house I own - what is the best way to split the bills?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend and I want to move in together. I own, he rents. If he moves in with me what is the best way to split the bills if we earn about the same but he has child maintenance for 1 child which I don't have. Thanks for the advice....
A. 20 September 2013: 50-50 would be right. ... (read in full...)
Need more money making options after maternity leave.
Q. I have had a wonderful 9 month's off work with my beautiful baby and in 8 weeks my maternity leave ends and I have to go back to work. Before my daughter came along I enjoyed work but now I feel so depressed about it that every time I think about it ...
A. 20 September 2013: For the sums of money you're looking to make, it will be very difficult for you to suddenly come up with something. Personally, I think your best bet would be to look for part time work, and perhaps re-train in something like website design that you ... (read in full...)
Why does he not want to talk to me anymore?
Q. Well, long story short; I had a brief relationship with a man who lived quite a way from me, we'd see eachother now and then but were crazy about eachother, it was very cute, romatic etc. We called it a day when things were getting a little ...
A. 20 September 2013: I would let him go. He has a girlfriend now, and what you had before can't be the same. I imagine his new girlfriend will be the one who gets all his romantic attention. Let him go. ... (read in full...)
Am I asking for too much?
Q. I need to get this out of my system. This may seem weird to some people but I would prefer a nonjudgmental point of view. I have always wanted a boyfriend that was a little clingy/jealous/possessive. Why? Because it really really really sucks fee...
A. 20 September 2013: There is a big difference between someone who protects you or cares for you, or makes you feel safe, and someone who is jealous and possessive. You're not the only person who has posted about this, there have been a few others as well.
I am posi... (read in full...)
Would it be reasonable for me to ask him to limit the picture of his ex to the kid's bedroom?
Q. Hi everyone. I would like to know how other people feel about their husbands displaying pictures of their ex-wives in their new home with their new partner? My boyfriend and I are moving in to a new place together next month. He currently displays ...
A. 18 September 2013: I think given that it's only in the living room and child's bedroom, it's not really an issue. It would be if they were everywhere in the house that it would become an issue. You'll probably find this is for the child's sake, and not his. Let this ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting by being upset that my boyfriend didn't come to see me when I was ill?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some advice on whether I'm overreacting about this or not. I was taken into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis. I text my boyfriend of 4 years on the way there to let him know what was happening. When I ...
A. 9 August 2013: He should have come round. I would have. When my girlfriend was having something done with her eyes, I used up some of my holiday to take care of her.
That said, I think the question you need to ask is what he thinks of your family? Is there some... (read in full...)
Should I wear a bra because my boyfriend think it's too sexual otherwise?
Q. Is it normal that my boyfriend constantly goes on about the fact that I should wear a bra? We've been having a very hot summer so far and I started leaving the house wearing tops but without a bra underneath. He says that it's obscene and ...
A. 8 August 2013: I think you should do what you want, and not what your boyfriend wants. ... (read in full...)
What do guys visualise during sex?
Q. Hi just a quick qn about men and sex! Sorry if its crude :-) Sometimes when I have sex with my boyfriend and he is behind me doing all the work doggy style I look back and he has his eyes open. Then when I am on top doing the work he keeps hi...
A. 22 July 2013: It's not his ex. It's you. It's not other women. It's you. I promise you that he's having a great time! Stop worrying. ... (read in full...)
"Girlfriends before friends" -- why?
Q. Hi I want honest opinons in this. I;ve read so many questions about female friends being ditched their male friend gets a gf and I notice in every single one people say, "so they should" "girlfriends come first" etc. I have been on the receiving...
A. 22 July 2013: There is an old saying: A man cannot serve two mistresses. As true as it ever was, even if it does sound a little old fashioned in its way.
A girlfriend comes before a friend, because she is more than a friend. That, ultimately, is the point. You'... (read in full...)
Guy seems to date a girl but still makes eye contact with me
Q. Hi Everyone, There is this one guy in school whom I met the first time on the train as we both came from the airport back to the dorm together. We saw each other from time to time and in the beginning, made brief gestures to say hello, either mu...
A. 22 July 2013: I think you're unfortunately reading far too much into his apparent actions. The fact that he could have made an effort at some point with you, and didn't, but did make an effort with someone else suggests that he isn't interested. If he really, ... (read in full...)
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