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*ettingHelp

South Africa  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ettingHelp's profile:

Been through a lot in my life & though I'm young I've seen much and am going on 64 - LOL :) got an old head on my shoulders

I'm a go with the flow kinda girl and don't make things too intense - I'm young and know that all relationships at this age WILL eventually end :) but that is just me :)

I know a fair amount about depression and The Pill, yes folks, I know a lot of the facts, so any questions? Come to me :)

123Next > [3 pages, 65 answers]

Do I keep the box of momentos from my son's bio father's funeral, or get rid of it because it will hurt my fiance?

Q.   I was going through my son's closet today and I found a box that has mementos from my son's biological father's funeral in it, we will call him "Cord" I don't know if I should show it to my fiance, we will call him "Michael" or if I should just hi...

A.   17 March 2011: You know that you love Michael and feel like Cord was a bad father to your son. Hopefully Michael knows this. But hopefully he knows that no matter what Cord is your son's biological father. And while Michael may be a better father figure - one da... (read in full...)

My gf always thinks I am checking out other girls when I am not. How do I calm her down?

Q.   I have another question. It's about my girlfriend's insecurity. Now what happens is that she says she catches me looking at other girls when I don't. I will admit that i do get bored and my eyes start to wander but i never check out a girl. ...

A.   19 February 2011: It is a little rude that your eyes wander... but the rude part is that you get bored, not that your eyes wander. Explain to your girlfriend that you are easily distracted, but its not necesarily by other girls. Tell her that you are only human and ... (read in full...)

Virgin would like to feel more confident in the bedroom

Q.   I'm a 19 year old virgin and know that in the next few months me and my boyfriend, who is also a virgin, are going to have sex. Although I am ALMOST mentally ready, and more physically ready than I thought, I'm still anxious about it, the whole ...

A.   19 February 2011: Give each other handjobs and maybe move onto oral sex. Make sure you're enjoying these things before you move onto actually having sex though. Google "handjob tips" or "blowjob tips" and they've got plenty of advice to help you feel a bit more c... (read in full...)

Me and my boyfriend want a baby together, how do I tell my parents??

Q.   I want a baby and so does my boyfriend but I'm only 15 this year and I'm worried about telling my parents. I reallly know I'm to young but I love kids so much and just want one to have 4 myself. I am a babysitter so I'm forever looking after kids ...

A.   19 February 2011: Hun, I totally understand where you are coming from But you don't want to be the girl that can't party with your friends on weekends for their birthdays or celebrate things because you have a baby/child to look after. Amongst other things, a ... (read in full...)

Unsettling memories from 14-15 years ago are making me wonder what really happened?

Q.   okay so I'm 26 now and at the time I must of been bout 11 to 12 Maybe almost 12 years old and I spent the night at a friend from schools house one night, it was the first and last time I slept over her house, I kinda remember drinken a little_ Maybe ...

A.   11 September 2010: If you didn't consent and he forced himself on you, you were raped, which it sounds like is what happened here. Hypothetically, if you DID consent (which you didn't), you were so young that what he did is considered statutory rape. So either w... (read in full...)

Any successful stepdads or step mums out there?

Q.   This is probably a long shot but prove me wrong, I'm looking for advice from 'successful' step dads out there. I'm a 29 guy dating a 27 year girl with 2 kids (2 and 5). I have found 0 success stories on the internet about being a step dad,...

A.   1 September 2010: With kids that young it shouldn't be too hard. My boyfriend's stepdad is his hero. He was about 7 when his stepdad came into his life. They get on really well and its almost like he is his real Dad. And why? Because he was there when it counted.... (read in full...)

What does everyone thinks about women choosing men who are similar to their fathers as husbands?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I am adopted but was raised in what I would consider a fairly dysfinctional family unit where my mother is dominant and my father is very submissive. I am, however, very traditional in my views and believe that in a marriage a wom...

A.   31 August 2010: Very often it can be found that people choose partners that have some similarity to their opposite sex parent. Freud had a theory about this, with two names based on the gender of the 'child'. Oedipus and Electra syndrome. Oedipus was a characte... (read in full...)

Why don't girls have sex as much as guys?

Q.   I would like to ask a question at a general/stereotypical level - Why don't girls have sex as much as guys? Eg. a single guy goes to a party/club/bar and hopes something will happen. A single girl goes to the same place and doesn't let anyt...

A.   31 August 2010: We're just as hormonal as you lot! And statistically women are more open to experimentation in bed. Women, however, get labelled. Guys don't. The result girls learnt how to keep quiet about what they're up to :)... (read in full...)

Have a big penis and don't know where to put it.

Q.   Im a 20 year old guy who has kind of a wierd problem or dilema. The problem is that I have an above average size penis(8 inches long and almost 6 inches around(its true, Im not kidding)) and I just have no place to put it in my pants. Sometimes ...

A.   26 August 2010: I wouldn't know where to suggest you put it. But it is indeed big. You're among roughly only 2% of the world's males that are bigger than 7inches. I love when my boyfriend gets a boner from me, but admittedly seeing random guys walking around w... (read in full...)

My mom found my vibrator!

Q.   Okay,well just a few minutes ago I went into my parents room because I have an earache and we were looking for the special tylenol that only works for my ear and I had left the vibrator underneath my pillow the night before and had fallen ...

A.   20 August 2010: At least she didn't catch u having sex :) Look on the bright side, vibrators are perfectly harmless. ... (read in full...)

Child pornography on boyfriend's computer

Q.   ok my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs. he likes to watch porn hes nearly 25 and a couple of months ago i confronted him on how much porn he was looking at only to find disgusting child pornogrphy on our laptop. he swore it wasnt his and ...

A.   15 August 2010: Child porn is illegal. He hasn't bothered to delete it off his computer = he downloaded it. Confront him about it. Show him the door and show the police his door if he doesn't change sharpish. Child are being sold as sex slaves all over the wor... (read in full...)

Is she avoiding sex just to get gifts?

Q.   Hi Girls, I am with my girlfriend for the last few weeks and we have known each other for the last 6months. I am doing evry thing I can to woo her even at this point by giving her expensive gifts, flowers every week, expensive dinners etc.. T...

A.   14 August 2010: Try not spending so much money on her, and show her that you care about her by spending time and love on her. Show her you care by doing little things. Are you spending money on her to get sex? Because prostitutes are cheaper. Think about th... (read in full...)

Love hate relationship with my soon to be step-brother!

Q.   I'm 13 years old and my mom is getting married in a while to a really nice man. And his son who Is the same age had a thing for me and I'm not sure if he still does and I mind if he still does. But when he told me he tried to start something but I ...

A.   9 August 2010: He was probably really hurt when you turned him down and is now acting out in a kind of defensive move. But don't worry, I had a friend who dated her stepbrother for a while, they grew out of it eventually. Try talking to your mom about it, ex... (read in full...)

Sexual issues with my girlfriend.....

Q.   Im having some sexual issues with my current girlfriend who i dated a while back. She is having issues thinking about doing sexual things with guys. If we start talking dirty or start getting involved she simply cuts off when things start adv...

A.   9 August 2010: I don't know what to say about your girlfriends state of mind, but here is what I will say. I mean you no offence :) BACK OFF!! She is going through an incredibly traumatic time and ALL you can think about is your libio. Try masturbating. Or sear... (read in full...)

Circumcision for women... is this all taboo?

Q.   Hello, I'm a south african citizen, there are many cultures all over the world and some are considerd taboo.. especially here in the african continent to where im from, i live in johannesburg. most of you who have visited s.a would know it. There ...

A.   9 August 2010: I admit, its not something I would do, but I wouldn't want to put up with the pain. I don't know that I find it disturbing though, it is a part of the culture. Many western authorities, however, do not agree with it and have labelled it as bruta... (read in full...)

How can I make sure that when I give him head for the first time it is not awkward?

Q.   My boyfriend for a year really wants me to give him head, but I get really nervous when it comes to about that time. I haven't ever done it before and I haven't yet. I don't want to make it awkward. What should I do?...

A.   9 August 2010: First of all DO NOT do anything you don't feel 100% comfortable with. N.B. **** Secondly, STDs can be transferred by oral sex********* Be careful. But to answer your actual question start off slow. Go with fondling him with his pants where they s... (read in full...)

I am a virgin but my girl is not.

Q.   I've been dating a girl, whom I'm absolutely in love with, for about 8 months. We've had a few rough roads, but most recently, she told me that she was being stupid and had sex with her ex boyfriend and six days later he dumped her. I don't know ...

A.   7 August 2010: He may have broken her hymen, but he broke her heart. It will never be fond memories for her. So that "special bond"? I don't think he shared that with her. But you still can. Its a mental thing. ... (read in full...)

Should I have sex with him even though he wont wear condoms and I'm not on birth control?

Q.   i've been with my bf for 1year. hes my first love and im his he's two years older than me.. we are both vigins.. and homecoming night b4 his big game.. i well lets just say i wanna have sex with him.. he gave me i ring and we are getting married ...

A.   6 August 2010: NO... (read in full...)

I just cannot stay away from him, he is the best I ever had and is very well endowed!!

Q.   Ok so me and my ex-bf are still having sex!! We broke up in 2002 and we still have sex on the REGULAR I mean 3 or more times a week! Problem is me and him both are in relationship with other people now, but we both still love each other a lot and ...

A.   23 July 2010: Who (or what) is more important to you? The guy you're in a legit relationship with or sex. Make the choice and cut ties with the other one.... (read in full...)

Did I sound like a pervert for asking?

Q.   Hey Agony Aunts/Uncles... I feel like I've lost some innocence in myself. I was making out with my gf the other day and I started to tickle her chest. I got the signal that I was crossing the line. So I stopped and we continued to make out. A day ...

A.   23 July 2010: Totally normal issue. You're 18 with perfectly natural hormones, not a pervert. And you were with your girlfriend not some little girl who didn't know you from a bar of soap. You were honourable and respectful. Most guys don't ask. Do... (read in full...)

Does sex really hurt?

Q.   i'm 14, i have a boyfriend only a year older. he's not like any other guy when he's with me, he's the badass' kid but with me he shows emotion. we've been dating almost 4 months. he gives me advice, and really great advice at at that. he helps me...

A.   23 July 2010: So yeah sex can hurt in more than one way 1) breaking your hymen could hurt because a hard penis is a whole lot BIGGER than a tampon. ow 2) he could land in jail. ouch. 3) you could die from an STD or have to deal with a super gross one that won... (read in full...)

14 and thinking about losing my virginity, can anybody tell me about their first time?

Q.   i started dating this wonderful guy in April of this year. we're pretty young and all but we love each other. he swears he loves me more and i believe he loves me :] he turned 15 last month and i turned 14 5 months ago. we were dating on his ...

A.   22 July 2010: Heya :) My friend lost her virginity at a very young age and was in a "good" relationship. That guy is long since gone and her current boyfriend who is an absolute sweety-pie is jealous about her past, and she of his. In most places you have to ... (read in full...)

I feel used and very depressed, what should I do?

Q.   hey guys. im hoping to god someone reads this because im so down and depressed over this situation please excuse the length aswell ok here goes a year ago a new guy started my job. i had just come out of an emotionally and occassionally ph...

A.   17 July 2010: Get rid of this guy. Remember: never mix personal stuff with money and/or business. Never lend money to your future boyfriends and don't date people you work with every day. He needs the door closed on his lying scrawny butt and you need to ... (read in full...)

I like him but I think he smokes pot

Q.   I really like this guy but I think he smokes pot and what if I go back out with him and kiss him some day what should I do?...

A.   15 July 2010: Can't get anythign from kissing a pot smoker. But seriously? Dude has issues and is breaking the law. Walk away from him unless you're REALLY REALLY into him.... (read in full...)

I use the morning after pill instead of contraception after sex, is this going to affect me in the future?

Q.   Dear aunts..im in a LRR, but i see my boyfriend 2 or 3 times a month.we dont use a condom.i use morning after pils.my question is: are they not gonna affect me when the time of having babies has arived,like by 'washing away the sperm' ? Do y...

A.   15 July 2010: morning after pill? Dangerous. Don't mess with your health - get on The Pill now. And use condoms too. The morning after pill and the pill can't protect you from STDs or HIV/AIDs. If you're with one guy: get on the pill and go get tested toge... (read in full...)

Why do nice guys end up last?

Q.   Hello ladies, I have a really deep question which I'm having trouble getting the answers. I'm currently 26, and I've had over 30 Relationships failed, I never gave up but I keep asking myself why. My friend (who is a gal) says that I'm "Too Nice", ...

A.   15 July 2010: Have a look at the kind of girl you're attracted to. But here's another side. I read a book called "Dateable" which explains the reason why girks often choose the jerk over the nice guy. The reason is this: Jerks are exciting. (I'm not saying y... (read in full...)

How will I cope???

Q.   I was in a relationship for 8 years with the father of my 2 kids. he said we must break up, cause he had a new girlfriend. We broke up 2 years back and it was hard for me. its been two years since we broke up, but i dont find a great man 4 me. i ...

A.   15 July 2010: This man is obviously a jerk, you shouldn't think about him or his life. He left you and your children - its clear that he's the loser here. The right man will come along but in the meantime do more of the things you love, you're more likely to meet... (read in full...)

What should I do? Does he like me or is he just horny?

Q.   Well my cousin kept having these boners but only when I was by him. We went swimming and we were playing the colors game. The person holds u and dunks u if u guess the wrong color they r thinking of. Well my top of the swimsuit was falling down and ...

A.   14 July 2010: He's horny. Make a joke like "Oh my gosh are you staring at my boobs you little perv?!" Embarass him a little so he'll back off. If he doesn't tell him firmly but politely that he should have more respect for you and not to touch you or look at ... (read in full...)

I promised I'd give him a handjob, but don't know how!

Q.   Ok so I've been going out with this guy for a while and we've only made out so far and I've never given a handjob and I'm really freaked out cuz I essentially told him I'd give him one next time we went out. Anyhoo, how do you give one and not seem ...

A.   14 July 2010: You can use baby oil or vaseline (less suspicious than lube and cheaper! my boyfriend loved the feeling of baby oil mre than vaseline) but those won't work if you use a condom because they will break down the latex. You can also use your own sali... (read in full...)

How do you find out what you're passionate about?

Q.   Hey guys, I'm kind of in a bind. I just graduated from college in May with a BBA in accounting. I'm currently interning this summer and it turns out, I HATE accounting. I thought that I would love in while I was in school so I never really con...

A.   12 July 2010: I'm finding myself and my passiona very simply. Travel. Try backpacking around somewhere: around the US, Australia or Europe or Asia or South America or wherever. But get out of your comfort zone, do some odd jobs, meet some weird random people, ... (read in full...)

She's shy about showing me her lady parts

Q.   ok so me and my gf have been together for 7 months now and we are beyond the sexual level of our relationship...well just lately i been having an issue because she wont show me her LADY part (vagina), now thats not the problem. The problem is ...

A.   12 July 2010: Offer to finger her... with her underwear on... (Its possible) Move on to offering oral sex with the lights off... Gradually progress... You might get her there eventually. You may find that as previous aunt said... She's self concious abo... (read in full...)

Am I a tramp?

Q.   I've been a very bad discusting person well i think so anyway :( ive had sex with two boys in the space of a month, and other sexual acts with them too spreading over 5 months im just realising now that i feel nasty and horrible, im sucha tramp...

A.   31 May 2010: Its your decision to see yourself in any way you wish. If you're feeling uncomfortable with what you've done, learn from it, and don't do anything unless you're totally comfortable with it! You can change your actions and in so doing, you can ... (read in full...)

Why do men like fake breasts so much?

Q.   I just think they look so silly, I mean, it's rare you get a slim woman with naturally big breasts, yet men seem find this so sexually attractive. Just wondering why? Breasts aren't supossed to defiy gravity! And big ones on such small women look ...

A.   30 May 2010: I once overheard a few guys talking about this subject, and here's what they had to say.. "her boobs looked great until I took her top off and thought they were fake." "well, were they?" "yeah. I couldn't bare to touch her. I broke up with he... (read in full...)

Why wont my boyfriend hold my hand?

Q.   Hi,Im 13 yrs old i love by Boyfriend we've been going out for 2 months but we dont hold hands and i c all these happy couples around me holding hands then i look at us and we r like a billion miles away frm each other.this bothers me. what bothers ...

A.   24 May 2010: Don't worry :) I'm sure he's mad about you (2 months is a long time) My friend has a problem with her hands where he sweats a lot and it makes him really scared that he will freak a girl out with his sweaty hands - your bf may have the same prob... (read in full...)

He wont even hug or kiss me, so why does he expect me to have sex with him?

Q.   I am 27 and my boyfriend is 29. We got to know each other in office for one month before becoming an item. Now we are together for 3 months. During the one month of courtship, the chemistry was great and we started holding hands from time to tim...

A.   18 May 2010: I'd smack him. Honestly I would. Do NOT sleep with him, do NOT blow him. That JERK had better start treating you right ASAP otherwise I suggest you walk out the door. He wants the physical stuff, nothing more. He wants (and I'm sorry this is hars... (read in full...)

Is it safe to have sex in the water?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are going to the beach this Saturday and I wanted to know is it's safe or not to have sex in the water? I am thinking about bringing this idea up to her but I don't know if it is safe or not....

A.   18 May 2010: What everyone has said before me is perfect... just a tiny side note Silicone lube is 'water resistant' - u can use it in the shower and it lasts for ever. You can probably use it in the ocean tooo, but lube up before going into the ocean maybe? ... (read in full...)

I've been trying to get thinner in time for summer but I seem to be getting fatter! What is going on?

Q.   my friends say im skinny... but i dont think i am. im going to kennywood is june with a guy im practicly in love with and i want to loose weight. for the past three weeks ive been throwing up and starving myself. i know thats not the way to go...

A.   18 May 2010: Heya :) I think almost everything has been said by the people before me... *** When you starve your body (by not eating or purging) it gets hungry and stores fat :( *** If you are serious about losing weight then it is a slightly longer proc... (read in full...)

I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter

Q.   Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...

A.   9 May 2010: This is common and is not something that is your fault. You cannot image how hard it is to see someone die, to kill for a living. That is what war is. You see the worst horrors ever and you live through it, "protecting" the rights and freedoms... (read in full...)

Is she just manipulating me playing with my emotions

Q.   Please anyone I need help. When the girl who says I think I love u tell her friends that she doesn't knw what I am 2 her, a 6oyfriend or friend. What does this mean. We hung out all the time. We have a healthy sex life. Now she tells me she doesn't ...

A.   6 May 2010: I can be really confusing sometimes for girls if a relationship is not outlined in words... Exactly what you are to one another. Girls like boxes and labels and neatly filed away relationships (forgive the metaphor) My guess is you guys never ta... (read in full...)

First date--I have the ability to make people feel awkward! HELP!

Q.   Ok, so I asked this girl out to a movie with a group of friends about two weeks ago. I'm not normally so balsy (asking someone out who you don't know at all is pretty weird at my school) but I'm really attracted to this girl so I just went for it. ...

A.   6 May 2010: Any idea what it is that makes people around you feel awkward? Whatever it is we all have some kind of super power, mine for instance is to make people mad at me :P lol But seriously? I understand how it can feel the best advice I can offer is... (read in full...)

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