A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please helpRecently I made a dumb impulsive decision to let a friend of mine drop me off in his car. His shocking colors came to picture when he insisted to kiss me and makeout. I refused for making out but he started insisting and wouldnt drop me off so I let him kiss me , just as a fake one, not even a real kiss.. I let him.. so that atleast he drop me off safely.. i didnt have any option to get off the car..it wasnt safe at that hour.. I can never ever cheat on my love, my bf.. am very upset..been crying and in guilt. It was purely unintentional. I just let him even touch my lips n willingly so I just get over with it though am regretting it bigtime. I couldve fought instead of taking the east way out. I told my bf a friend of mine came onto me but didnt tell him I finally let him when he kept insisting and stopped the car.. He will brakdown if i tell him what a piece of crap i am. I cannot get over this guilt.. but i love my bf more than anything and i wont tell him and lose out on him over something purely unintentional and fake. How do I get over this guilt... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, malletchick76  +, writes (15 October 2013):
 It's not your fault, you were coerced and your mind was probably in hyperdrive and could not think clearly. Try and get past it. Your boyfriend understands, leave it at that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I told my boyfriend , he was upset but he said if ur intentions were not wrong, ur not wrong. Yes, u couldve resisted but u went braindead or what. He says mistakes happen, if my heart and intentions were not wrong, I need not cry so much.
The point is, am shocked at myself. I know I never had any intention to have anything with any guy , then y didn't I strictly refuse or took it casually. Just cause he was a "friend"?! That wasn't even a proper kiss and i pushed him away but I have guilt of going absent minded and not acting the way I should've. That makes me feel like a cheat who violated my bf's trust and a huge question mark on my conscience . How could I go so blank.. Does unintened, meaningless mistakes make a person wrong?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 October 2013):
 You sound a bit like you are wallowing in guilt for some reason. You trusted a friend to give you a lift, that's nothing odd or strange. Your friend becomes a rabid nightmare.
You said you couldn't resist because of the danger of being forced out of his car at that place and time, but then you say you could have resisted.
I'd contact that helpline that person12345 provided. You can ask determine if you were in a safe place or not.
If your love says you haven't wronged him, then believe him.
If you are this upset and confused then you DEFINITELY need to pursue some counseling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have guilt because I could've resisted cause I had no intentions but I didn't act that harsh. Just took is casually. I don't know why. My heart was not wrong, neither any desire , I feel like a cheat now. My bf says mistakes happen, it's ok but I feel like a brain damaged cheat who could've easily slapped the guy, but took it casually. But I had no intentions. Absent mindedness. Don't know what, have ii wronged my love?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): Don't tlel your boyfriend, it won't sound believable. just forget about it and don't see this guy anymore
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 October 2013):
 Guilt? He basically assaulted you. He blackmailed you into letting him exercise his will on you. There is nothing to feel guilty about, he threatened that if you didn't let him kiss you, he'd put you in a dangerous situation. He's a predator and you did what you had to to prevent the situation from escalating. Don't feel guilty at all. I know what happened wasn't rape, but the counselors here can help you with your feelings of guilt.
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
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A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (9 October 2013):
Tell your boyfriend what happened. And promise to get that loser out of your life. If your boyfriend doesn't believe you, then I'm sorry to say that he's not the man you need.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 October 2013):
 How do you get over it? YOU cut him out of your life completely.
And stop feeling guilty if what you wrote is what happened. Stop beating yourself up.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 October 2013):
My personal opinion is that you were basically assaulted. Of course, I wasn't there, so it's just an opinion, but from what you've written, you were assaulted by this guy, who you thought was a friend, which us just appalling. What you decide to do about that is up to you, but at the very least you should have nothing to do with this man again. He is not your friend.
With regards to your feelings of guilt, you have nothing at all to feel guilty about, and I hope that you'll see that soon. You have done nothing wrong here. You trusted a friend to take you home, and he betrayed that trust. I don't think you need to tell your boyfriend if you don't want to. You didn't cheat, and you're not a piece of crap at all, so you mustn't think that. But, it may help to talk to someone else, maybe a trusted friend or counselor.
You've done nothing wrong. Please don't feel guilty.
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