| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Guy seems to date a girl but still makes eye contact with me
Q. Hi Everyone, There is this one guy in school whom I met the first time on the train as we both came from the airport back to the dorm together. We saw each other from time to time and in the beginning, made brief gestures to say hello, either mu...
A. 22 July 2013: I think you're unfortunately reading far too much into his apparent actions. The fact that he could have made an effort at some point with you, and didn't, but did make an effort with someone else suggests that he isn't interested. If he really, ... (read in full...)
I treat her like a princess, things seemed to be going well, so why does she say I'm pushing her away?
Q. Firstly, thanks for the advice. I am not sure what to think so i guess it's always good to get an outside opinion. I have been on a few dates with a girl whom i met at a party a few weeks ago. I am 24 and she is 20. I have a good job and have had...
A. 21 July 2013: You haven't messed it up at all. If anything, I wonder if you've walked into this a little to blindly. I find the line that her mother said "don't mess it up or push him away" a bit of a give-away into this Paris' character. If someone has to be ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship as good as it gets?
Q. I am 27 (28 next week) and I'm scared I will never have a good relationship in my life. I have had several boyfriend's throughout my life, but none of the relationships have ever been that good. I have been with my current boyfriend for 3 ...
A. 21 July 2013: You've been with your boyfriend for 3 years, and you only see each other twice a week!? You're right to be concerned about this. Of course there are better relationships out there! Plenty. This guy should have been ditched a while ago.
I think, from... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate because she loves someone with money more
Q. I need some help, lately I've been feeling inadequate in competing for the affections of a girl I'm apparently not even in the running for. I'm in love with my best friend, which she knows, and she's always telling me about her other friend who's ...
A. 19 July 2013: Agreed. End it with this one. ... (read in full...)
I've lost the attraction but I don't understand why.
Q. Hi, I really need help, I'm so stressed and I have no idea what I'm going to do! I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years we have no children and we both still live with our parents (we are 27, sad I know!) At the first 2 maybe 3 years o...
A. 16 July 2013: This sounds like a case that your relationship has gone as far as it can go. Apart from anything else, it's only your first real relationship, and most 'firsts' don't really work out (only a few really make it).
The lack of any real attraction show... (read in full...)
Why is my fiancé suddenly looking at porn?
Q. I have just found out that my fiance has been on a porn site. I am worried he is getting fed up of me. He has always said that he hasn't looked at porn since he has been with me (3 years now) so why now all of a sudden? Any advice please?...
A. 10 July 2013: I think it's more likely that he's been looking at porn for a longer time that you realize, and that it's only just come to light. That doesn't in anyway mean he's bored of you or anything like that. Some people look at porn, some don't.
What you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gives me butterflies, but I'm not crazy about what he's wearing... how can I focus on the less superficial stuff?
Q. Hey everyone, I know I would be judged for this and be called superficial but I really need some input/advise on my situation.. I am seeing this guy for a little over 3 months, he is head over heels in love with me,compliments me a lot, he is very ...
A. 10 July 2013: I think that if you already can't see what essentially 'matter's, such as the personality etc, then this is not the guy for you. In truth, you really do need to find him good looking, and you really do need to able to see past the clothing etc. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend knew she had STD and still had unprotected sex with me. I found out from seeing her medication!
Q. I found out about a week ago that my live in GF has an STD. She did not tell me, I found out. I found medication that she's taking, that she never told me about. I did confront her. Naturally a fight ensued, and the house is tense now. My quest...
A. 7 July 2013: 1 - Get tested. (You're already doing that, but I thought I'd just make it clear)
2 - Dump her. However hard it must have been for her to tell you, she absolutely should have done. I wouldn't be with anyone for a second longer if they knew they had ... (read in full...)
After first time sex that I thought we both enjoyed, the next morning he tells me my behind smells!
Q. Ok so I started seeing this guy and we dig each other. The other night we had sex for the first time and everything was going well.... we had amazing sexual chemistry and couldn't keep out hands off each other. Throughout the night he kept telling ...
A. 7 July 2013: To be honest, I'm not sure I'd bother seeing him again. I think maybe that he wanted just the sex and has decided he doesn't want to see you again. Whatever the reason, to be honest I just wouldn't bother with him again. ... (read in full...)
My ex dumped me and hasn't been in touch since, but I miss him and want to contact him
Q. I was with my ex for four years. He dumped me two months ago. I was mad and hated him the first month, but I started missing him like crazy recently. He never contacted me after the break up, never asked what I'm up to or how I am. I don't have the ...
A. 5 July 2013: Do nothing, other than make NO contact at all, and continue to try and get over him no matter how hard you find it. Sadly, this man has made it more than clear that he's not interested. He's ended it, and ended contact. To go back to him, to try to ... (read in full...)
My partner is obsessed with affairs and with pretty young girls.
Q. My partner seems obsessed about watching television programmes all about having affairs, or men getting one over on women. If it was just a couple of times a week it wouldn't be an issue, but its every night. Our SKY is full of recorded films al...
A. 1 July 2013: Trust me, you're better off without him. Not all men are like this at all, and he knows this. He just tells you it because it puts you off leaving.
His behavior is utterly creepy. ... (read in full...)
My partner is obsessed with affairs and with pretty young girls.
Q. My partner seems obsessed about watching television programmes all about having affairs, or men getting one over on women. If it was just a couple of times a week it wouldn't be an issue, but its every night. Our SKY is full of recorded films al...
A. 1 July 2013: To be honest, I can't work out why you're with him. He seems utterly vile. You need to read your own post back, and really take in what you've said, because he comes across as a real creep.
Does he need help? I don't think there's any help that... (read in full...)
I absolutely hate the degree that I'm doing and cant even get myself to finish it but what will my parents say?
Q. Hi guys, I know this isn't the usual kind of question but i've been on this site before and always been impressed with the advice and guidance given so i thought i'd try it out. I've spent the past 3 years doing a degree that i shouldn't ...
A. 1 July 2013: I would say leave now and do what you want to do. The most dangerous thing that someone can do is live for someone else. If you're doing something that someone else wants you to do, and you don't want to do it, you'll just end up miserable and ... (read in full...)
I can't say no to sex and being labelled by my friends. Please help me, I keep getting hurt over and over!
Q. I have a lot of guy problems, so ill explain where it all came from. Im 17 years old. I lost my virginity at 14. To a 19 year old, it was forced and I was Hammered. I had never even made out with a guy before him. Then i waited nearly a year be...
A. 1 July 2013: I also agree that the first experience sounds like rape. I also think that your first experience has probably set the tone for the way you now feel about sex. You do seem to be possible attracted to guys that treat you badly, because the first one ... (read in full...)
Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?
Q. Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...
A. 19 June 2013: I think that for the most part, it's always possible to succeed in some way with hard work. You might not get to the dizzy heights that some will (not everyone can reach the top), but you'll get somewhere.
And if nothing else, it's always best to t... (read in full...)
Do some guys not like well-educated girls?
Q. I'm currently at quite a good university studying a rigorous subject, and as I don't know any guys from my uni I'd really like to go out with I've started dating those from outside uni. I don't make a big deal out of my education, or like to argue...
A. 3 June 2013: My advice is to not change, and don't necessarily tone your education down, or pretend that you don't totally have a mind of your own. For starters, you should value education, and you should speak your own mind. Remember, you're after a guy who ... (read in full...)
Why do I miss him, even after a week? He dumped me!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years dumped me last week. He was very abusive for that past 6 months. Long story short, I haven't called him since the day he dumped me. I'm making myself busy at work so I won't have time to mope. But for the past 2 days...
A. 21 May 2013: I was with my first girlfriend for 6 months years ago, and when she dumped me, it took 6 months go get over her. You've been going out with your now ex for 3 years, and whilst it ended unhappily, and has been difficult for 6 months, it will take ... (read in full...)
How do I teach my partner to apologise and show him it isnt a sign of weakness?
Q. My partner doesn't know how to sincerely apologise. He can do something wrong but he will never say sorry, let alone mean it. He will most likely get angry with me and find something to blame me for and turn it all around. My question is, how...
A. 21 May 2013: You can't teach someone this. They're supposed to learn it themselves. Even if he did 'learn' it, he wouldn't mean it.
It's a bit worrying that you're trying to teach someone who perhaps doesn't treat you that well how to say 'sorry'. If he can'... (read in full...)
My FWB is sick of me and called me a whore! Did I do anything wrong to deserve to be treated this way?
Q. Dear Cupid I am in on and off FWB with my best friend. I fell in love with him but he says he likes me but no love word. Long story short, he bacame very abusive (physically and emotionally) lately. I couldnt even hold a decent conversation ...
A. 14 May 2013: Of course you didn't do anything wrong. Obviously something has unhinged him, or he has some problem, and rather than deal with his own problem, he's chosen to take it out on you. Nothing you did or said can possibly be responsible for causing you ... (read in full...)
The guy I like is complimenting me and stealing glances at me, what does this mean? I thought he liked someone else!
Q. I really like this guy but I know he likes/liked another girl. Not sure whether he still likes her now though. He shows signs like showing up to where I am at school, stealing glances and complimenting me. What does this mean? ...
A. 14 May 2013: Maybe it means he likes you. However, you won't know unless you speak to him, so maybe you need to bite the bullet and speak to him to see how he feels. ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed. I had an abortion 2 years ago and still haven't gotten over it
Q. Two years ago I had an abortion. I don't agree with abortions, and I didn't want to at the time but my parents wanted me to and my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me with my friend. I really regret what I did, there isn't a day that goes by ...
A. 18 April 2013: I'm afraid I think you are depressed. There seem to be a lot of issues surrounding your abortion, such as the way your parents treated you, the way your boyfriend treated you, and obviously the abortion itself.
I honestly think that that best thin... (read in full...)
Do guys like fake boobs if a girl practically has no boobs?
Q. Okay, so I started losing weight about 2 years ago, now I am a gym rat but my boobs are getting smaller, I have gone from 36b to 34a. My sister who's 19 has bigger boobs than me! I'm 25. I got a nice tax return and will be in miami in 3 month...
A. 18 April 2013: I think the thing about cosmetic surgery of any kind, is that you really need to know why you're doing it. I think if you really want to have larger breasts for your own sake, that's one thing. To be worrying about what men will think, or whether ... (read in full...)
Don't have a boyfriend and it's depressing me
Q. I've never had one my entire life. I've always been very ambitious and hard-working, and I have high standards regarding guys, but the type of guys I fall for always seem to have girlfriends or just aren't interested in me. They're also really rare ...
A. 18 April 2013: I think the first thing to realize is that there's nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend. People seem to have this thing about relationships nowadays. I found my girlfriend when I wasn't actively looking, and I think that happens quite a lot.
T... (read in full...)
The Cheating young Husband and an older wife?
Q. I have been with my husband for four and a half years he has cheated 3 times and treats me like crap, will his cheating ever stop, is it my fault? He is 25 and I am 50....
A. 18 April 2013: I'm 25, and I've been with my girlfriend who is older than me for 4 years. I'd never have treated her this way. Ever. But then I'm mature.
Truth is, your husband isn't really a husband, he's just a playboy who's using you. It's certainly not your... (read in full...)
BF cheated, took him back but cant get over it?
Q. I've been in a relationship with the love of my life, but with every relationship there is a problem, he kept me a secret for 3 years and always had time for his ex he would never contact me when she was around and told me that she was just really ...
A. 18 April 2013: I don't think realistically that it can work. This whole relationship has been built upon one huge lie, and after what he's done to you, it's worrying that you would want to take him back, as it suggests that you don't have all that much confidence ... (read in full...)
I cheated- He still wanted us to stay together but he calls me names and says he'll never marry me!
Q. I had cheated on my boyfriend 2 years into our relationship with an ex who I thought I was over with but I wasn't.After cheating I realized that what I had done was wrong in which I had told my boyfriend about it the next day.He was upset but we ...
A. 10 April 2013: Regardless of what you did before, when he decided to stay with you, he decided to make a commitment to try and forgive you, and move forward with you. However, he's not done that, and is instead punishing you and hurting you because of what ... (read in full...)
B/f says if I leave the country he'll break up with me
Q. my boyfriend of 5 years wants us to get married within a few months. I will be leaving the country in the next few months also but he told me that if i leave he will break up with me. I have been waiting for this opporunity to go overseas for a ...
A. 10 April 2013: Ditch him. He's not worth the bother.... (read in full...)
Should I date him? I'm worried he might be the jealous type....
Q. Hi. Im wondering whether to date this bloke or not. Basically we been talking for some time and we text most days he seems nice enough he even wrote me a very sweet poem the other day! But we have yet to meet Only problem is he seems the jealous ...
A. 10 April 2013: I think if you're feeling this way already, you're best not continuing with him. He does seem to have a bit of a problem, and clearly it's best not to be around someone like that.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like to experiment sexually
Q. hi everyone! I have quite a high sex drive, and i like to experiment. But my partner prefers to stick to missionary and not really change? He doesnt like a bj either or anything like that? This isnt really a problem i know you like what you...
A. 3 April 2013: I think you need to have a talk with him, and explain that you do have a high sex drive, and would like to experiment more. If he offers (as he had), take him at his word and experiment. You may find that he's very shy and just needs you to initiate ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to rule him out but then also don’t want to be walked all over
Q. I met a guy on a dating site and he seemed really genuine and sweet. After a week of talking, despite not being 100% on his picture, I agreed to meet with him for a drink because I thought we had a lot in common. We met and had a really lovely ...
A. 3 April 2013: Agreed with the posts below. One more chance, and if he pulls that one again, forget him. ... (read in full...)
Do I have a baby because that is what me and my fiancee want, or do I not because of what people will think and say?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship with my fiance over three years, we have had a very happy relationship and got engages almost a year ago. like all relationships, we have had our usual arguments and obstacles (other interfering people) but ...
A. 25 March 2013: There are a few things in your post that suggest that maybe you two should just give it more time. I think the first most obvious one is the money situation. I think it's easy for people to look at a situation like this, and say that money is mostl... (read in full...)
I'm feeling left out because I'm not as into gaming as he and his friends are!
Q. Dear cupid my boyfriend (hes 23) and I have a great relationship but I'm confused about his friends sometimes. Don't get me wrong I love his friends and I am glad that they have such a great relationship with my boyfriend, but they are always ...
A. 25 March 2013: I would suggest that you speak to him about how you feel, and look to make time so you can actually spend time together as a couple without all this. It may well be (like some men do) that he has entirely missed that you're just not into this as ... (read in full...)
I was told my coworker was married but he adamantly says he's been single for 6 months.
Q. So I recently started a new job and instantly became attracted to one of my co workers, we spoke he said he was single and asked me out. I got speaking to one of the girls and she told me he was married. I then told him I wasn't interested as he...
A. 17 March 2013: If you know that he's single, and you like him and he likes you, then I say go for it. You know that he;s single, and that's all that matters. And if anyone asks, you can always say that he is single. ... (read in full...)
After birth complications and a c section, my wife has problems enjoying sex.
Q. I am 24 and my wife is 26 we have a baby 5 months ago ( Tried normal delivery but she had to have a c section). She had a few complications with pregnancy like high blood pressure, high blood sugar and several uti but the baby was. Healthy. He was ...
A. 17 March 2013: I think the best thing to do is just let her have a break, and not pressure her. If she's on antidepressants, and had a bag pregnancy, chances are right now sex just isn't what she really wants. Take care of her and the baby, run her baths, help as ... (read in full...)
Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?
Q. I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...
A. 17 March 2013: I have no real idea what his problem is. Maybe he just has a naturally low sex drive. I'm sure that it's not you at all. My girlfriend is older than me, and we don't have this problem.
My feelings are that maybe he's either not bothered by sex,... (read in full...)
Should I make a move on my history teacher?
Q. I need help. I really have feelings for my history teacher. He gives me all the right signs showing that he likes me back but I don't know. I am 17 and in high school and he is 24. He smiles at me all the time and compliments me. I think of him all ...
A. 17 March 2013: You can't make a move at this time. He'll get fired and will probably be arrested. Whilst I'm sure you do like him, you've got to wait for a few more years before anything can happen.... (read in full...)
He told me I'd waited to long to date and that he was moving on
Q. I had been dating a guy for 7 week that i met online. We text and talk on the phone. He has also told me already he loves me and we have also kissed and some touching. He has asked me several time to go and spend the weekend with him to. He has also ...
A. 16 March 2013: This guy was definitely in this just for sex, and when he didn't get it, he just ditched you. It sounds to me like you had a really good escape. You'd only met twice really, and his callous comments at the end just show that he was interested in ... (read in full...)
It's not what she did, it's that she lied about it
Q. My gf and I have been together for two years now. She is known to lie now and again. A few weeks back we got into a big fight because I was getting an apartment but didn't think it was best for her to move in. I told her we could still hang out as ...
A. 16 March 2013: Agreed with Chigirl. She is a liar, and always has been. Best to just cut this one out.... (read in full...)
Everybody knew about my boyfriend's pregnant girlfriend but me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and I just recently found out that not only has he been cheating on me for years but the girl is now pregnant. The reason I found out was because a friend of the family told me. When I asked him ...
A. 3 March 2013: End it with this guy, cut contact as soon as you can, and never even think of having anything to do with him again.
Then, really focus on your own life, take your time getting over him and remember that you can always do better. ... (read in full...)
Guy I like did not mention he had a girlfriend after I told him my feelings for him?
Q. There is a guy I like at school. I assumed he was single as I never see him with anyone, he's alone most of the time. I am absolutely smitten over this guy, and I confessed this to him. He was flattered and seemed very happy about this. The more we ...
A. 2 March 2013: I don't think this is a guy you can trust. At all. He showed you no respect by hiding that he had a girlfriend, and he showed her no respect by not saying anything. Worse still, he's used the cliched line "We were on the rocks anyway".
I would leav... (read in full...)
Why is my friend's boyfriend being so mean to me?
Q. one of my friends has recentally got a boyfriend who i think is very aggroant. he has only talked to me twice and both were mean things. him and my friend constantly give me nasty looks. and today he was telling his friends how ugly and fat i am. ...
A. 28 February 2013: I wonder if he's trying to drive you away from your friend so he can control her.
Also, you mention that your own friend gives you nasty looks too? If that's so, why are you friends with people like that?... (read in full...)
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