A
female
age
36-40,
*ewbern
writes:Is it normal that my boyfriend constantly goes on about the fact that I should wear a bra?We've been having a very hot summer so far and I started leaving the house wearing tops but without a bra underneath. He says that it's obscene and it's increasingly becoming a point of friction (nothing major, but I guess it makes him jealous). What do you guys/gals reckon?
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (13 August 2013):
 Bras are constricting. Her boyfriend shouldn't have the ability to dictate what she wears, which by her own admission he doesn't.
If you don't like wearing a bra outside sometimes, don't wear the damn bra. If you want to listen to your bf and take his view into consideration then wear a bra when you go outside or cover your self so everyone isn't staring.
When you go outside, people will see your nipples, no matter what damn size your breasts are. Guys stare at breasts, bra or no, but when there isn't a bra it's kinda of like a beacon. Eyes go straight to the breasts. I can understand where your bf is coming from. Ultimately it's up to you what you do or don't wear.
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (9 August 2013):
 Eyeswideopen, I agree.
I'll never understand the people who come to this site just to have their egos fanned. Thank goodness that those types are few and far between.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): Sorry, but I also think your BF is right. I wouldn't call it "obscene", but when you go without a bra with a size like that EVERYONE notices. I personally dislike when I see someone's nipples through their shirt. I am trying to walk my dog/get groceries/whatever not get a free peep show. There are plenty of tanks with bras built in that are not too constricting or thick. If you would not want him to walk around in boxers with the outline of his dick showing all the time then wear a bra.
I live in the desert and still wear a bra (I'm a D cup) with no problems. I just put some deodorant under and between my boobs if it is going to be a particularly hot day.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 August 2013):
 Troll alert
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): ok, answers from girls are seriously biased and while I was reading all of them I didn't feel comfortable at all. with all due respect to the ladies I believe your answers are a little bit selfish. a relationship is about trust, love and caring for each other. if your boyfriend is not comfortable with you not wearing bras is simply because every single male that see you will notice you are not wearing a bra and will be staring at your boobs. you are caughting the attention of every male that see you. no boyfriend likes other males looking at his girlfriends boobs and I belive that is the problem. I hope I'm wrong but unless you have a health problem or be seriously in discomfort wearing a bra then you are looking for the attention of other males and that is not nice. period. if that is what you are doing then is wrong and your boyfriend shouldn't be with you. why don't you spoil him a little bit, make him happy snd wear a bra, its not s big deal, all girls do it, why wouldn't you? if you really don't like bras in summer time, why don't you wear them when you are with him and take it off when you are home?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 August 2013):
I think you should do what you want, and not what your boyfriend wants.
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A
female
reader, newbern +, writes (8 August 2013):
newbern is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSince people ask, I'm a 34 full C, bordering on D, and no, if I'm going braless I dont wear low cut tops.
Also, no, my b/f doesnt control what I wear. He has his preferences, but he doesnt impose what i should wear.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (8 August 2013):
Tisha, how'd you make that connection? I'm not doubting you because both questions struck me as a little suspicious, just curious.
Anyway, unless you have a flat chest and your nipples never get hard, I'd say it most certainly is quite sexual to walk around without a bra. But I think you're quite aware of that already.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 August 2013):
I personally just love my bras, they keep my boobs from getting bruised by my knees when I walk.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Doeshe wear a jockstrap? If "yes," then he CAN insist that you wear a brassiere. Otherwise, all bets are "off."
Good luck...
P.S Got any pictures that you want us to see?????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2013): I live in a very hot place, so 110 F during summer isn't unlikely so when It's summer I would rather only wear shorts and bra at home, but I live with other people so I wear a barely there crop top which is also a good option to wear outside, I don't think that going out braless is obscene at all, but sometimes people look and the unwanted attention from other guys can make your bf jealous, but if you have big boobs I think wearing a bra is a must, anyway it's your choice if you decide you still want to go out braless just tell him that it's your choice and he got to get over it.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (8 August 2013):
Your body, your choice what you wear. Although when you're in a relationship you want to respect your partners opinion within reason. Would he like wearing a bra to support his nuts? That would probably hurt right?
I don't think it's obscene. I personally won't leave my house without a bra on, but that's just be. Guys stare at boobs. Its factual information, whether you have a bra on or not.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Maybe he's concerned that you'll cheat on him again? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-cheated-on-my-boyfriend-and-told-him.html Afterall, you do want another guy more than your boyfriend.
Perhaps he doesn't trust you to stay faithful once you've attracted other men?
I think there are more problems in this relationship than wearing bras, or long nails, even. It's not what you wear so much as what you are doing with your body.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 August 2013):
I think bras should be outlawed, personally.
Seriously though, he's acting jealous. There's certainly nothing obscene about it, but you should understand that if your nipples are visible, guys are looking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2013): Like the others said if you're quite small breasted and not jiggly, i don't see why it bothers him so much. I suggest talk to him And really get to the bottom of why it bothers him- if it really bothers him make a compromise, but on the other hand use your best judgement, if he's just being an anal man child about it tell him to bog off. Lol!
Take care :) xx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 August 2013):
 I hate bras! No matter if they're wireless, full support, whatever, they're all uncomfortable. However, since I am a C almost a D cup size, it would be obscene for me to go without a bra in public.
What is your cup size? Unless you're an A or small B, then you should also be wearing a bra when out in about. It's just tasteless to have your generous breasts bouncing all over the place.
In the privacy of your own home? Wear no undergarments, if that's what is truly comfortable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2013): Without seeing the outfit(s) in question it's really hard to know if he's being unreasonable or not.
Ask a female friend you trust (I say female because asking guys about boobs is a loaded question to begin with, and because it's usually women who point it out to each other when another woman is dressed tackily) for an honest second opinion as to what vibe your choice of clothing presents. If they concur with your BF, maybe it's time to rethink your decision. If not, it's none of his business.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 August 2013):
 I don't think it's for him to say if you should wear a bra or not. Not his F'ing business. However, like SVC mentioned if you are bigger then an A/B cup wearing a bra is a good idea.
Is it obscene? no, it's quite common (specially in Europe) to not wear a bra if you don't NEED the support. Seeing nipples through fabric are not a "OH MY GOD! moment", like it is in the US.
Does he try and tell you what to wear, how to have your hair or in other ways control your appearance?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 August 2013):
 If the tops are sheer, or low cut or fall when you bend over and if you have ANY jiggle in your boobs (meaning they are not a firm A or B cup OR your nipples will get hard and show in AC, I think a bra is a good idea.
It may not be jealousy if he's out with you.. it may be embarrassment.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Everyone will see you're not wearing one and stare at your boobs. Of course your boyfriend doesn't like it!
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