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*Z agony aunt


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Bonjour! I'm a something-year old girl who's been in a long-distance relationship for almost a year now, and is managing to survive. My friends still, however, come to me for relationship advice for whatever crazy reason. What else can I say? (:

Latest articles:

True Love: Fact or Fiction?

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

29 June 2010: Let me tell you a story. When I was a little girl I used to pretend that I was a princess who was awaiting prince charming. He was always the picture perfect man: tall, lean, stunning, poetic, and the type of guy who'd sweep you off your feet. I...

12Next > [2 pages, 49 answers]

I had an abortion, even though I didn't want to!

Q.   im 28 years old, i had my 3rd child august 4th 2009. i recently had an abortion may 26 2010 and ever since that day i have been soo depressed. im always crying and yelling at my boyfriend. i didn't want 2 do it and now i feel like a horrible parent ...

A.   14 July 2010: A lot of women feel depressed after having an abortion, so in that sense there's nothing wrong with you, but I am deeply sorry for your loss and pain. You need to forgive yourself (because it seems like you feel what you did was wrong). Having an ... (read in full...)

Is it unreasonable to want time without his friends?

Q.   I'm in a new relationship and this will be the third week. We sort of jumped right into it, so there are still a lot of kinks and problems we need to sort out. This is also my first relationship. A major problem that I'm confused about is that 2/3...

A.   4 July 2010: It's normal to spend some time with friends, but I agree that you're dating HIM and not his FRIENDS. Talk to him about this politely, and also add that you're feeling a little overwhelmed. No matter what, you need to take care of yourself, and if ... (read in full...)

Moving on from abuse

Q.   hi this is my story i was with my ex for 9 months , when i first met him he told me he had split up with his ex 6 months previous they had been married for 20 years and had 2 children aged 17 and 19 but they dont want to know him or speak to him ,...

A.   4 July 2010: I can assure you he was the same way with his ex, and that's probably why his children and her have nothing to do with him. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, but it's good that you got away now instead of being too tangled up in the web he ... (read in full...)

What are the chances of my girlfriend being pregnant?

Q.   So my girlfriend and I were messing around and I ejaculated. I cleaned it up with some tissues and about 15-20 minutes later we started messing around again. She wanted me to stick it in but I noticed some precum at the tip of my penis, so she ...

A.   3 July 2010: Well, there is always the chance of precum slipping in, but honestly if that's all you did you shouldn't be too worried.... (read in full...)

Looking for a hextrosexual relationship, am I being niave??

Q.   Hello this is a question that I have to ask, me and a guy i know were talking the other day (this guy hastnt been the first person to say this) he came up with the theory 'all females are bisexual' and it got me thinking... I am a 22 year old male...

A.   2 July 2010: Of course that type of relationship exists. People don't like to work at them, however, because they require work and are hard. And not every woman is bisexual, although women tend to be more comfortable with their bodies than men. So your answer is ... (read in full...)

My friend slept with a guy I care about a lot -- do I drop the friendship?

Q.   A while ago, my best friend of 12 years slept with my long term boyfriend. I broke up with him, but eventually forgave her. More recently, she slept with a different ex of mine, who she knew I still loved and cared deeply for. She said it was a ...

A.   1 July 2010: Is she really that good of a friend if she's slept with your boyfriend AND your ex? Food for thought.... (read in full...)

He cheated because he was drunk and I cant get over it!

Q.   Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months...we started going out sept.7, 2009 and its now June.30, 2010... Back in Feburary he decided to throw a small party when his mother was away and get drunk...( one girl and 4 guys) well ...

A.   1 July 2010: Any guy who's going to get drunk and then not be responsible about it is not worth your time. He CHOSE to drink until he was drunk. If he wanted to be blameless he shouldn't have been drinking AT ALL. He's guilting you by saying all these things, ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this kid's crush on me?

Q.   Hi, I live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids my age. A group of these kids and I are close; me, (14), a 12 year old girl, a sixteen year old boy, a thirteen year old boy, and an eleven year old boy. I recently found out that the 11 year old is ...

A.   1 July 2010: Obviously this boy won't handle subtlety, so you need to be up front with him. Tell him right out you DO NOT share his feelings, they make you uncomfortable, and you do not appreciate him. He might get upset and pout for a while, but really that's ... (read in full...)

I don't have feelings for him, but don't want to hurt him again!

Q.   Dear Cupid, A few years back in high school, I really hurt one of my friends that /really/ liked me. He had asked me to Junior prom (I had a boyfriend at the time) and things happened, and he ended up being hurt and humiliated (not publicly...

A.   1 July 2010: I agree that you have to tell him right away. The longer you are silent the longer he'll be under the impression that you return his feelings. Have an up-front conversation with him and tell him exactly how you feel, and that you're sorry if it ... (read in full...)

I don't want to lose him, what should I do?

Q.   hey there i have a question well,i've been datin my bf for 8 months..but this moth his been acting mess up wth me he accused me of talkin to guys n of seen sum other n him have no trust when we started dating a month later he cheated on me ...

A.   1 July 2010: If he's cheating on you, then he isn't worth your time. You need someone who will respect you and treat you right. This boyfriend obviously isn't doing that. You owe it to yourself to find a better man.... (read in full...)

I want to be a part of my child's life!

Q.   Ok, I am going to be completely honest here. I was dating this girl for about 5 months but have known her for almost 8 years and she is now 11 weeks pregnant and we are no longer together. Before we broke up, she moved to west virginia to help out ...

A.   1 July 2010: You'll have to go to court and honestly, if you want this child to be provided for, get custody of him/her. If the mother cannot take care of the children she already has, you'll have to step up the responsibility and raise the child yourself.... (read in full...)

Does he cheat because I'm just ugly?

Q.   hi, i need some advice, its a quite complicated situation so bear with me. i met my fiance 2yrs ago, ever since we got 2gether things have been rocky. no matter what i find out about him he worms his way out of it, he turns it on me, making out i...

A.   29 June 2010: To speak candidly, he's cheating on you because he's a douche. He doesn't care for you at all, and probably gets off on the fact that he can treat you like crap and get away with it. You owe it to yourself and your son to leave this man and find ... (read in full...)

He thinks I'm a bitch. Should I break up with him?

Q.   ok my thinks im a bitch kuz at his party he said i was being a bitch and i really dont know where that came from but thats not the point the point is that he thinks im a bitch and now he feels that im pushing his away and he keeps saying that he ...

A.   29 June 2010: He might have said that in the heat of the moment, and since you didn't fully elaborate was it really out of the blue or where you perhaps in a bad mood at the time? If you weren't acting very ladylike then you should both apologize to each other ... (read in full...)

How do I recapture the lost feelings?

Q.   I met the girl of my dreams. Coming up on over a year together, I am suddenly over her. No emotional feelings what so ever. I am not even remotely attracted to her... we are rarely intimate. I dont feel it. How do I ressurect the emoti...

A.   29 June 2010: People change, and sometimes that means that couples grow a part. Who your "dream girl" was ten years ago might differ from now and might differ from you "dream girl" ten years from now. If you don't have feelings the best thing to do is to take ... (read in full...)

How do I know if I'm over him and did the right thing?

Q.   two months ago i split up with my boyfriend of two years, i thought it was the right thing to do as we had started arguing about nothing and i was going to uni quite far away, we still talk often and agree to stay close friends. i was fine until r...

A.   29 June 2010: I agree with everything that's been said here! Arguing is normal for couples, and even though they're difficult you have to work through them via communication, communication, communication. By getting upset over him you're realizing you really ... (read in full...)

How can I help the love of my life see his mother is abusive

Q.   I was with the most perfect man for 2 years, until just over 5 wks ago when he ended out relationship. We were both madly in love and we got on perfectly, I have four children from a past relationship and he doesnt have any but he was cool with...

A.   29 June 2010: You won't be able to help him until he helps himself. It's hard to admit your mother is controlling your life, and no matter what other people say you won't do anything until you realize this for yourself. I'm afraid there really isn't much you can ... (read in full...)

He cheated and gave me a STD

Q.   My boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me a couple months ago. We've been working on our relationship and trust but i recently found out I contracted a std that resulted in a early miscarriage. Since I have been faithful all 5 years, my boyfriend must ...

A.   29 June 2010: I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's hard to answer that because personally, I wouldn't forgive him for cheating and would leave. But if you stuck by him through that, the question is has he changed? Will he change? Can you trust him again? If ... (read in full...)

He was repeatedly checking out my friend's pics

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we live together. I was going through my internet history yesterday to find a website I went to a few days ago and made a different discovery. He has been looking through ALL of my friend's pictures ...

A.   29 June 2010: Talk to him about it and be up front and lay down the law. If he thinks he can get away with something that upset you, he'll try to do it again. While looking at her page maybe once or twice is nothing to fret about, the fact that he's done this on ... (read in full...)

Caught between my parents, with my little sister. Need to find a way to improve my situation.

Q.   Okay so this isn't your typical relationship question, has more to do with family, but i've always relied on you guys for help in the past so i can't think of a place i'd feel better asking this. So i absolutely hate my mom. Long story short, she...

A.   29 June 2010: This is absolutely terrible, and I'm so sorry for you. I think you need to contact child protective services and see what they have to say. Also perhaps notify your father and his lawyer of your mother's doings. If you are seriously concerned for ... (read in full...)

BF upset me not wanting to go away for the weekend - what do I do??

Q.   I’m in a long distance relationship (living two hours apart). Been dating my current bf for the last 6months but only been going out together for the last two/three months. I'm in my early 20's but this is my first boyfriend and also my first ...

A.   28 June 2010: Sometimes things just don't work out, and it certainly isn't your fault a rugby match of his came up (and I agree - I wouldn't drive that far away only to come back right away). Plan something sweet as a "I'm sorry date" instead, perhaps?It seems ... (read in full...)

I saw my boyfriend put his hand on my roommates breast

Q.   HI, I have been dating a guy for four and half years. He is very simple and shy guy. He treat my roommate as a sister. Last night we three were drunk but I was that drunk. I don't know how high he was, I saw him putting his hand in my room mate bre...

A.   28 June 2010: I agree. Being incapacitated is no excuse for feeling someone else up. More importantly, why are the three of you spending your spare time getting drunk and high? Maybe if you aimed a little higher on the social ladder, you'd find a guy who wouldn't ... (read in full...)

Violent end to an argument this morning, what do I do?

Q.   i have to ask this question, even though i know what people will reply. really early this morning my partner of 7 years and i had an argument, i was getting ready for work, and we argued, which basically led to him hitting me on the head with a m...

A.   28 June 2010: You may love him, but how much can he love you if he's resorted to violence? He needs anger management and you two defiantly need time a part. Do you really deserve someone who'll hit you? The answer is, of course, no. So while you might not be able ... (read in full...)

How do I get past him having a child from a previous relationship?

Q.   Any got any tip on how to get past my parnter having a child from a previous relationship?...

A.   28 June 2010: First you have to realize that your partner, if they're a good parent, will always love this child and have him/her in their life. It's hard to accept that, but if you really love this man/woman, you should embrace the fact that they have a child. ... (read in full...)

Is he emotionally abusing me?

Q.   Hi, Im 21 and dating a 29 year old guy and i love him dearly but then i have secrifised a lot for him. he said he dont like my cousin and i must cut them out of my life and thats what i did, he told me that i musnt have any friends cuz friends are ...

A.   28 June 2010: Get out of the relationship AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. This man wants to control your life, and that is NOT appropriate. You have the right to live your own life! It's absolutely ridiculous for him to "not allow" you to go to team building meeting for ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my best friend's woman

Q.   So I feel like the most terrible human being because of this, i've only told one person of this but I need the advice of someone who has delt with it....I'm completely and totally in love with my best friends wife, she's absolutely the perfect ...

A.   28 June 2010: It looks like we have two opposing views here (either go for the girl or let her go), and I have to agree with the latter of the two. How terrible would you feel if you were risking your life over seas and your supposed "best friend" hooked up with ... (read in full...)

I have been putting up with my wife's nonsense for far too long!

Q.   I met this beautiful girl i thought i loved, adored and cherish, would do absolutely anything for her... worst decision of my life. even during our 1st years we had fights and arguments. But always thought it resulted due to her past experiences in ...

A.   28 June 2010: It sounds like you've spent your whole marriage making her happy and neglecting your own. While you should care about your spouse, you also need to care for yourself. She obviously doesn't care as much for you as you do for her, and that's not ... (read in full...)

The girl I like doesn't even notice me and flirts with my friends!

Q.   Hi. I'm a 15 year old boy, and I have a serious problem. There's this girl i've liked for a while. She, unfortunetly, ignores me. I try talking to me, but pretends not to notice me. What's even worse, is that she flirts like crazy with my best ...

A.   28 June 2010: I know it's hard to let go of someone you like a lot who doesn't like you back, but sometimes that's what you have to do. If she's uninterested, would you really want to date someone who didn't share the feelings for you you have for them? And think ... (read in full...)

I need to let him down easy and not ruin our friendship!

Q.   I just reconnected with an old friend and he wants more than friendship. When I met him until I last saw him, I was already with my ex-husband. Now that I'm single, he's making a move. I've never seen this side of him and it's freaking me out. I ...

A.   27 June 2010: Tell him you appreciate the kind words and the friendship the two of you share, but you just aren't ready for a relationship yet.... (read in full...)

How can she tell if a boy is a virgin?

Q.   My girl friend just told me dat she is still a virgin and would love to marry a virgin guy like her, i luv her so much i don`t want to loss her. Making the relationship last for a life time has been our quest,but i am confused because, i don't know ...

A.   27 June 2010: You can't unless they tell you. Males don't have hymens and don't potentially bleed the first time, so there is no one to tell.... (read in full...)

I'm young and in love!

Q.   Hi. Im turning 15 in august. And im falling reall hard for somone who is 19 . He is an amazing person. He knows just how to make me smile and he has his life in track. But, the only problem is the age gap. he doesnt beleive me that people do this ...

A.   27 June 2010: Well, my boyfriend and I are four years apart and we are perfect for each other, so don't think that age is really that big of a deal. The more important thing is if he's good for you or not. Does he make you smile? Does he make you feel better when ... (read in full...)

Odd situation with work supervisor

Q.   A couple of months ago, we had a new district manager start at my work district. We spoke a few times and he seemed like a really nice person. About a few weeks later, i was on a shift and he came over and started helping me with my work, i thought ...

A.   27 June 2010: If he's stooped to "prank calling" you (since that's what that call seems like) then I'd just move on. Relationships in the workplace are hard because if they don't work out it makes an awkward situation for everyone, not just the people who were ... (read in full...)

Anyone have any good anniversary ideas? We're both broke.

Q.   Hey there It's me and my boyfriends one year anniversary this week and we are going through a really rocky patch at the moment with us and I want to do something special together. I wanted it to be special anyway obviously but since we are goi...

A.   27 June 2010: I would suggest getting cozy inside and watching several of your favorite movies! That provides time to cuddle and just be with each other.... (read in full...)

He thinks I'm lying to avoid sex

Q.   Okay so I have irregular periods always have and my boyfriend of 5 years knows this, sometimes my periods are longer then usual and heavier then usual...but now hes starting to think im lying about being on my period just to avoid sex with him! He ...

A.   27 June 2010: I agree. Just show him. If he's going to be juvenile about it and accuse you of things you aren't doing, be blunt about your situation.... (read in full...)

How can I tell my girlfriend her attitude is bad without making her feel attacked?

Q.   Hey people, My girlfriend has a really bad attitude at times and it becomes really difficult to say anything to her once she is in that "zone." When she is pissed it seems like she basically disregards anything I say and everything I say she thin...

A.   27 June 2010: She's probably defensive because she knows she's hurting you but doesn't want to admit that she's doing so. What I would do is take her out to somewhere nice or set u a sweet date. Tell her that you love her, but you need to have a serious ... (read in full...)

My ex is back, but now I like Nick too

Q.   ok now hears a hard one. My xboy friend is back and I might be in love wit him but I still like nick so wat do I do? I have strong feels for samuel by I like nick and don't know wat to do? Helppl plz. ...

A.   27 June 2010: You have the luck of being young, so it's alright to take risks and follow your heart. If you're really having trouble, make two lists - one of why you like Samuel and one of why you like Nick. Compare the two. Perhaps that'll help a little bit. (: ... (read in full...)

How do I make a choice between two men?

Q.   So I am currently in love with two different men. I live with my boyfriend of a year and a half. But i'm seeing another man behind his back. I've been seeing the other man for about 9 months. Prior to this he and i were together for a few months and ...

A.   26 June 2010: First of all you need to realize it isn't fair or right of you to abuse the trust of two different men by seeing them both at the same time. Once you accept this fact you also have to realize that no matter whom you choose, one of them is going to ... (read in full...)

It was my first time and I was bleeding alot, should I be worried??

Q.   Hi I'm 18 and I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time but then during the sex I was bleeding alot. I used a condom but I'm afraid, am I'm going to get pregnant?...

A.   21 June 2010: Bleeding is normal. The hymen skin breaks during sex (usually) and this can cause bleeding. Some women bleed more than others. If you used a condom and it was used correctly, no, you aren't pregnant, so you can stop worrying. (: The hymen can also ... (read in full...)

Does he not want to take my virginity because he thinks I am not the one?

Q.   My boyfriend is not a virgin, but he knows that I am. He is about five years older than me, but I don't know how many women he's been with... We sleep in the same bed, and we'll make out and get close to going all the way, but he'll stop and say ...

A.   21 June 2010: I want to propose a different theory - what if he thinks you are the one and wants to wait for that reason? Think or if this way: you're a guy who's slept with other women semi-mindlessly in the past, and now you've met this great, fantastic girl ... (read in full...)

Should I date my teacher?

Q.   hi. i have had a crush on my teacher for a while. she is right out of college i believe shes 23 im a 18 year old senior entering my last week of school. i guess she noticed i liked her and asked me to have sex after school. i did and it was amazing. ...

A.   21 June 2010: Wait, you had sex with a woman and didn't even know her age? I think that's more awkward than dating someone after you've slept together. Just realize that because you've had sex with someone doesn't mean you love that person. I'd focus on the ... (read in full...)

I need someone to tell me that two people can love each other and it last forever.

Q.   I'm 17 years old. An orphan, dumped into the arms of grandparents when I was 12 after my mother died. My sister lives in London as a pediatrician, so I rarely see her. I've learned the way of life on my own, and now I've fallen in love. I met my ...

A.   21 June 2010: Yes. There's your answer right there. Speaking from personal experience, I understand your pain, but am happy you've found someone so good for you. My boyfriend and I live an entire state a part (it's true!) and we love each other more than ... (read in full...)

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