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Should I cut my really long hair because my boyfriend likes short hair?

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Question - (1 November 2013) 15 Answers - (Newest, 3 November 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have really long hair. Myboyfriend an i really love each other. but he likes hair short so he is asking me to cut them. should i do what he says. i cant make up my mind but i do want to make him happy

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2013):

You should do what you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do. If you like your hair long, keep it that way.

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A female reader, KC12 United States +, writes (2 November 2013):

KC12 agony auntYou should only cut your hair if YOU want to cut it. If you like it long, are comfortable with it, enjoy (or at least don't mind) styling it every morning...then leave it long.

Maybe you can find a cute, short wig to wear on occasion, for your boyfriend or even throw it up in a clip once in a while for that faux-short look. ;-)

Also consider this:

That "naked" feeling, if you're not comfortable with it that short.

Depending on how short you go, consider the grow-in period; and how long it would take to grow it back if you hate it. So, maybe just take of an inch or two.

The texture of your hair might not work well, with certain hairstyles. Talk to a stylist first if you are even thinking about this.

Also, as others have already mentioned: Don't relinquish too much control to your boyfriend. If he makes you change your hair...then he'll soon try to change everything else as well. Hold your footing ;)

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (2 November 2013):

chigirl agony auntNo. Never alter yourself for a man. What happens if he leaves you and you cut of all your hair? Will you be happy with the way you look when you know it didn't make him stay/love you more/happy enough?

Cutting your hair isn't what will make him happy, or make him stay. Treating him well, being good and kind, those are the things you do to make him stay. But never alter your appearance, change your style of clothes, or change anything about who you are and how you style yourself. That's for you and ONLY YOU.

He liked your long hair enough to get together with you, so it obviously isn't something that is a problem in the relationship. Keep your hair. Make him happy in other ways. You can put your hair up in a bun if he likes to see it up and away, but don't cut it.

Of course, if YOU want a new hairstyle it doesn't hurt that he might like it as well. But there are no guarantees he will like it. So, always do these things for your own sake. And if he doesn't like your hair/new haircut: too bad for him. He wont die.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (2 November 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony aunti have had long hair

I have had uber short hair

i have had red hair

i have had curly hair

i have had straight hair

I sound like a dr seuss book... but hair on women is SO changeable..

IF you like your hair long, DO NOT cut it.. maybe trim it up a bit (3 inches off of very long hair can make a huge difference)

but for fun for the boyfriend how about a cute short wig to wear out on saturday night?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntUnless YOU really want to go for shorter hair then I would say no, HE can like short hair all he wants but he isn't dating you for your hair is he?

And I agree with the other aunties who says, first he wants you to change your hair, then your clothes, your make-up....

LOVE is not about your HAIR or the length of it. If short hair is that important, why is he with you.?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 November 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf a hair style can affect your boyfriend's happiness, well that just says it all now doesn't it?!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013):

My ex-boyfriend was the opposite.

He preferred me to have long hair, so I would always wear hair extensions to please him.

Soon enough he was wanting me to change other things about myself..

Well the only thing I ended up changing is boyfriends...

Good luck :)

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A female reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2013):

Xx-Scorpio-xX agony auntNo, i wouldn't. Long hair's hard enough to grow and i wouldn't get rid of my hard work/dedication just because a guy has a preference for short hair length. But I liked the other suggestion on here, to buy some short wigs maybe? :)

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (2 November 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Heck no ! If you ever had had the wish to cut your hair short- I suppose you would have already done it without his prompting.

So I suppose YOU like yourself with long hair, and that's what should count . Suppose that you " make him happy " becoming the Mia Farrow-head of his dreams- but then you hate the way you look... it may take 5 years to grow all your hair back. And within this time frame- your bf could even have gone out of the picture.

If he likes you, he likes you the way you are. I bet you too would be happier if he looked just like Hugh Jackman ( or whoever is your ideal of male beauty ) BUT you are still very happy with him exactly as he is now. I don't see why it should e different for him.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2013):

R1 agony auntReally long to short is very dramatic. You might hate it! Unless it's what you want I wouldn't suggest doing it. You could buy some short hair wigs and dress up for him?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 November 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntExactly Aunt BB! Yep make him go first on something .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013):

No! it's your hair if he doesn't like it, it's just too bad.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013):

If it's really long it probably needs a cut anyway, not that short though but just above shoulders is really nicr. I ofyen find girls look a biy stale when they have really long hair and when they cut it suddenly they look radiant.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013):

Do whatever you want to do - if he loves you he'll understand

I, myself, walked into a hairdressers 10 years ago with waist length hair and simply said "chop it off" and left with a pixie cut. I've never looked back. Having short hair is really easy to care for, never gets in the way and is very versatile. (I had purple highlights put in mine 6 months ago for a theatre show and they're gone now - so I can choose to be another colour if I wish)

And guess what! Hair grows so if you really hate it, you can always grow it again and experiment with different styles in the meantime. (I regrew my hair once for another play and it took 18 months but I couldn't bear the way it tickled my face so I cut it off again after the last night)

There's only one real downside to short hair and that's regular haircuts to maintain the style.

But, as I said - it's your hair and do what YOU want with it. Not what your boyfriend or some crazy lady with a pixie cut on the internet thinks

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (2 November 2013):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI am sure the reason you have long hair is because that's how YOU like it, which is great because it is YOUR hair.

You don't say how long you and he have been boyfriend and girlfriend but if your hair is really long, I suspect you had it before you met him.

Think about this, first your hair, then he says he doesn't like how you wear your clothes, so he starts choosing those and you let him because you love him, and then its he doesn't like your friends so you drop them all because you love him and he says your parents look at him funny so you don't visit them so often because you love him ....... so where is the girl he fell in love with who had the really long hair? She's disappeared and he has created a parody of her in her place.

Tell him you'll cut your hair right after he has all his body hair removed by waxing because you prefer smooth men. He might decide long hair isn't so bad after all.

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