| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
I'm confused! He's cancelled 2 dates and now doesn't respond to my texts
Q. Hi everyone sorry if this long I just really need help trying to figure this situation out I met a man 9 month ago I moved into a flat near him in fact 30 seconds away any way he asked me out I said yes he had been single 6 month after splitting up ...
A. 16 November 2011: I agree. He's not interested and has shown himself up as a rude and uncaring. You're better off moving on from him. He doesn't seem to have much respect for you at all. ... (read in full...)
Whats the deal with my ex? One moment she tries to talk and says she misses me, the next moment she disappears!
Q. Hi I'll keep it brief. Im so confused * 6 weeks ago ex dumps me after 6 months. Likes me but not falling in love!! * 2 weeks later she txts Hi, u ok? I reply briefly Im ok and then silence from her * Then 4 weeks of no contact * This ...
A. 16 November 2011: I get the feeling she's a bit of a drama queen, and she likes to know you'll respond whenever she texts you. She enjoys the control of knowing she can text you, threaten you, play you like a violin.
You need to stop contact with her yourself. Neve... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is extremely lazy, has no ambitions in life and his personal hygiene is a big issue!
Q. My boyfriend is extremely lazy and has no ambitions in life. He doesn't do his schoolwork, puts everything off till last minute, has no eagerness to do anything. When I come over his house, usually I would want to go somewhere but he will instead ...
A. 16 November 2011: Sounds like your boyfriend needs to be dumped. In my experience, a lot of women seem to be far better at seeing a man's 'potential', rather than the reality. You seem to think that he can change, or that he'll change for you. It's painfully clear ... (read in full...)
My wife's son is tearing us apart! What to do?
Q. i have caught my wife's son (21 year old) with large quanities of skunk weed 3 times now, the first about a week after we were married 2 years ago,it turns out that he has been reported to the police on 5 occations by 3 different people on our ...
A. 16 November 2011: My friend, run as far as you can. You need to face the simple fact here - she will not turn her back on her son no matter what he does.
Seriously, this marriage has gone as far as it can. She's using you as an ATM machine, she has no respect for ... (read in full...)
I left my boyfriend for another man, but now that other man has left me for his ex girlfriend
Q. So I wrote on here a little while ago about cheating on my bf well I ended up doing the right thing and breaking up with him. I continued to see the other guy but now he is back with his slut ex who treats him like shit. Well I have told him I had ...
A. 15 November 2011: Let it go. ... (read in full...)
He left me for harmless online flirting. Why?
Q. I have been with my chap going on 4 years. I have flirted online which was harmless and meant nothing. Just a bit of a joke and no more. I understand i hid it from him,but only so he wouldnt get the wrong idea as we had a break up over it once. ...
A. 15 November 2011: Sorry, but if I found out my girlfriend was hiding so called 'harmless flirting', she'd be out my life too. Especially if she'd done it once, been found out then done it again. I'd never waste my time on someone like that.
We live in a world wher... (read in full...)
Is my ex only using me while he tries and gets back with his ex wife? Should I get rid of him now or wait and see?
Q. My ex partner to whom I have a child has recently broken up with his wife and has come running back to me in order to reinstate a relationship that was never completely finished because he left to marry her. However, during his marriage of about 4 ...
A. 15 November 2011: The mere fact that he is an ex is all I need to know - but added to the fact that he's suddenly coming back now that he split from his other wife only adds to the general feeling that this man is just using you until such time as his wife gets back ... (read in full...)
How to have the "we need to talk" talk with a guy??? Any help appreciated!!
Q. This guy and I have had an on-again off-again thing for nearly three years now. Nothing physical, but we have a hell of a lot of chemistry. And it isn't just "Oh your attractive let's have sex"-- it's a legitimate I care about you and hope you're ...
A. 15 November 2011: I think you need to wake up. There's a reason this is on/off so much - it's because it is never going to work between you. In fairness to you, this is about him. He's clearly been using you as the back up for some time now, and it really needs you ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend consistently and deliberately lie to me? What benefit does he derive from lying to me?
Q. hi there ive been with this man for almost 2 years now he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever but the thing is he never opens up to me at all never once. i always open up to him. He denies things that are true like he will deny s...
A. 13 November 2011: Your boyfriend actually sounds quite unstable to me. He basically stalked you when you broke up. He's also lying to you about a lot of things by the sound of it, and he won't open up to you, and there .
I think you need to sit down and really thin... (read in full...)
Shall I just keep silent or shall I voice my insecurities about his Boy's Night Out ?
Q. My bf cheated on me 2 years ago, we argued it out and said we'd give it one last go. Since then it's been fine, and I am steadily starting to build up trust again. However, he mentioned going to another part of the Uk for a lads night out. He's h...
A. 13 November 2011: I think you should say that you're just feeling a bit insecure about him going away. Make clear that you're not out to stop him, but that you're in need of some reassurance. Hopefully he'll be good enough to give you that reassurance. ... (read in full...)
How could he change so quickly? He says I'm an awesome friend but he thinks thats all its going to be
Q. my boyfriend just broke up with me out of the blue. (yesterday he was talking to me about going to his dads for dinner and making christmas lists, and the next day i saw him he broke up with me) he says that he feels like nothing has changed betw...
A. 13 November 2011: It's most likely been coming for some time. People don't usually wake up one day and decide that they want to end a relationship. I think that your boyfriend has been thinking about this for some time, and today was the day he chose to end it.
I... (read in full...)
Dumped by text. Why should I do the right thing? They all betrayed me
Q. I got dumped by text and cheated on. Then for some dumb reason everyone took my exes side. Then I ran into the two faced sheep and they ignored me. Why should I do the right thing? They all betrayed me. What makes them think that it won't happen...
A. 13 November 2011: I can understand that you must be very hurt over this. I myself was cheated on (though not dumped by text), so I can see that you will be angry and you'll want to get back at them.
But, here's the thing. You're wanting to get back at them is actu... (read in full...)
How can I make my girlfriend less moody?
Q. The past few days my girlfriend is always in a bad mood. There will be times where she in a great mood, and then all of the sudden her mood just change into a bad mood. When she in a bad mood she just seem so dead. I have no experience on what to ...
A. 13 November 2011: Tisha pretty much sums this one up. More than anything, when a girl/woman us upset they really want to know that someone will listen and care for them, without judging and without making suggestions. All you need to do is listen. The other week my ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated three times, is that reason to dump him?
Q. Hi there. I've gotten together with this guy about 2 weeks ago after we had been dating for 3 months. I found out he's cheating on me just three days after we got together and yet he's done it 3 times already. I'm really confused since he seems t...
A. 12 November 2011: Oh yes, you should dump him all right. You have three exceptional reasons to dump him. Why be with someone who treats you like this? There is no reason.
Dump this loser and move on. ... (read in full...)
A man I once dated and had a falling out with recently invited me to join his social network site
Q. Hi I would appreciate your advice as I’m in a difficult dilemma. There was this guy I dated in the past, he broke my heart and we left things on bad terms. I found it hard to move on and till this day I have thought about him. Three years l...
A. 12 November 2011: I would be extremely cautious over this. This guy broke your heart and it was all left on bad terms. To add to that, you've joined the legion of people who seem to want so called 'closure' - the pursuit of which has left many, many people utterly ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend saw that I wrote "I love S" on my hand. He isn't "S"... what do I do?
Q. okay so i'm in love with two people. my boyfriend and this guy called S. i've loved S for nearly 2 years now and he loves me too, but we've never been together offically. so yeah i wrote i love you "S" on my hand and my boyfriend saw it. what should ...
A. 12 November 2011: My best friend David was going out with a girl (this was years ago). She wrote "I love Lee" on her hand. Needless to say she cared more for Lee than for my friend.
You care for 'S' more than your boyfriend, and deep down you know it. Let you boyf... (read in full...)
Am I imagining things? I don't think my boyfriend cares about me any more.
Q. I live in Singapore, and have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We have had some ups and downs going on, especially since I grew up under difficult circumstances. I have a unique family situation where for 20 years of my life my fath...
A. 12 November 2011: I do think you need to have a serious talk with him. This turning into a mess. You've hacked everything, and he is either disinterested, or he's depressed or something.
You need to to have a serious talk with him about all this. ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much for handmade birthday cards from my grandsons?
Q. I have two sons, 32 and 30 years old and I have two grandchildren, one is 4 and other is 1 year old. It was my birthday today 11/11/11. Earlier this week I asked my sons to make, with my grandchildren, a birthday card for me with the date 11/11/11 ...
A. 11 November 2011: I don't think you were. But maybe they had their reasons (I really hope they did). You're still their mum, so maybe you should have a word with them and just see how they are. ... (read in full...)
Now I wish I hadn't sent those nasty drunken texts!
Q. I been seeing a guy for a while, purely on a sexual basis but it's usually only when he wants - yes I do realise he is just using me but it doesn't really bother me too much as it is the best I and he (well he claims anyway) have had. Anyway he ...
A. 11 November 2011: Err, you need to give up. If there was ever a man who treated you like dirt, this is it. The moment you showed emotion, that was it. And those texts you sent afterwards probably just made him go further away.
The best sex in the world doesn't make... (read in full...)
I have recently met a lovely guy, I like him a lot and we have a lot of chemistry... but he's married!
Q. Hi everyone:) Just want you opinions on something... I have recently met a lovely guy, I like him a lot and we have a lot of chemistry... but he's married. He has been separated from his wife for a few years and they are in the process of sellin...
A. 11 November 2011: I agree with the post below. It's worth remaining friends with him, and being there for some friendly support (not too much, or you'll get into the friend zone). But at this time, it's best to wait until he's divorced. You don't want to get stuck in ... (read in full...)
We have not spoken for over a week and its his birthday tomorrow. What to do?
Q. I need this advice before the end of today. Me and my boyfriend had a disagreement and we have not spoken for a week and three days. Even though he was at fault I was willing to forgive him so I called him last Thursday but no response. I did leave ...
A. 11 November 2011: I really do think you need to end this. ... (read in full...)
We have not spoken for over a week and its his birthday tomorrow. What to do?
Q. I need this advice before the end of today. Me and my boyfriend had a disagreement and we have not spoken for a week and three days. Even though he was at fault I was willing to forgive him so I called him last Thursday but no response. I did leave ...
A. 9 November 2011: I wouldn't do a thing to be honest. You two have had an argument, and he was at fault. Since then you've gone out of your way to call him and he's not contacted you at all.
My advice?
Think really carefully about whether you want to be with a m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is setting up secret online relationships. HELP!
Q. My boyfriend was on the Internet last night and I found out he was index websites and he had set up a profile saying he wanted to meet girls for 1 on 1 sex or secret relationship he says he was only messing but not sure I'd should believe him please ...
A. 9 November 2011: I think this is a big Red flag. You don't sign up to sex sites or secret relationship sites without wanting it, especially if he's been on one before.
Perhaps you need to think about this man. He doesn't seem like a good bet to me. ... (read in full...)
People tell me that if I completely block him he'll come back, but I'm afraid to do it
Q. Dear Cupid, (puncuation may be off, but i'm getting to the point) about a month ago this amazing guy breaks up with me, i cheated on him 7 months before this happened, but, as a subconscious way of getting back at him for his cheating (no exc...
A. 9 November 2011: I don't think you two can actually work anyway. You've both cheated on each other, and neither of you have actually worked together to make it work. When he cheated, he proved himself as untrustworthy. You then had a choice - you could have left or ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'll never find true companionship
Q. I've always preferred to be single and I am now thirty. I was hurt badly many years ago. Since then I've traveled and lived abroad and really got to know who I am. I've found a career that I love and I am very content with my life. I've started ...
A. 9 November 2011: Don't ask what men want. Ask what you want and find a man who answers that description. One of the problems I've noticed a lot is that women spend a lot of time trying to change themselves for men, when they'd be better off staying single and ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'll never find true companionship
Q. I've always preferred to be single and I am now thirty. I was hurt badly many years ago. Since then I've traveled and lived abroad and really got to know who I am. I've found a career that I love and I am very content with my life. I've started ...
A. 8 November 2011: I don't think so at all. I think actually that you've done the right things. You were hurt, and rather than go from relationship to relationship, you went out into the world and really found out who you were. That's great! Because it ultimately ... (read in full...)
Is this guy playing hard to get or is he just not interested?
Q. I met this guy last week when we were out, we got on well and he told me he thought i was amazing. He later text me to see if i got home ok. I didnt text back until 3 days later :( just because i get shy sometimes he did text back straight after ...
A. 8 November 2011: He's not playing hard to get! He offered you his attention on a plate with those texts. I'm afraid he might well have taken your lack of an immediate response as a sign that you weren't interested. If I text a girl and she didn't reply for three ... (read in full...)
Partner has a loan which will take 4 years to pay off. I'm having second thoughts
Q. Hi not sure if I am being silly here but need advice so I can make up my mind about something but I have since discovered that my partner of 1.5 years is paying off a nearly £18,000 loan which will take about 4 years to pay off and was shocked to be ...
A. 8 November 2011: Hmm. I do see where you're coming from here. Don't get me wrong, if I had a daughter I'd probably spoil her a bit too! But not to the point where I was £18,000 in debt!
There are two things that really bother me here. The first is obviously the ... (read in full...)
My son wants a civil partnership with his friend for financial reasons despite not being gay! Is this illegal? What should we do?
Q. I have a 23-year-old son, he's been in a relationship with his girlfriend for the last 18 months and everything's going well, he's got a good job, working in IT equipment sales and has a good social life. He lives with his best friend Steve who he's...
A. 7 November 2011: This sounds like fraud. Fraud usually ends in prison. So, this is not a good plan on behalf of your son. There's a real risk that he'll wind up in trouble.
And I am fully aware that you think your son isn't gay - but are you really, really sure... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriend? She is acting like a complete bitch!
Q. I need help with my girlfriend She is acting like a bitch and I know she is not but she says I constantly annoy her and always tell her what to do when the only thing I tell her to do is to don't drink to much whenever she does And she gets a...
A. 7 November 2011: To be honest, you sound like a nice guy who's gone and got himself a really dreadful girl. Don't worry, we've all been there. It happened to me too, and sure enough the girl cheated.
The best thing you can do is dump her. You can't change her, and ... (read in full...)
Holiday romance.....I like him but does he like me?
Q. i went vacation met this guy, after meeting sometime at a party. we slept together. then i teaxted him asking if he wants to meet me before i leave. no reply. then i went back to my country. After a month i went back again then i met him at the ...
A. 7 November 2011: I think that he liked you for sex, but not anything else. He didn't really want to see you any other time. He just seemed to want you for sex.
Perhaps you need to let this guy go. I think he was just using you to be honest. ... (read in full...)
Is it time to exit this relationship? His actions are scaring me. Plus my Bf watches porn everyday and that he's been calling gay chat lines.
Q. Need some help.. Basically last weekend I went on my boyfriends phone and found he watches porn everyday and that he's been calling gay chat lines.. Which I really dont understand. He said he rang it as needed someone to talk to, but a gay chat line...
A. 7 November 2011: Thing is, he probably isn't suicidal. That's a ploy that controlling people often use. If they can't physically beat you into line, they'll pretend to hurt themselves.. And you're basically accepting domestic violence. No matter how much you love ... (read in full...)
Is it time to exit this relationship? His actions are scaring me. Plus my Bf watches porn everyday and that he's been calling gay chat lines.
Q. Need some help.. Basically last weekend I went on my boyfriends phone and found he watches porn everyday and that he's been calling gay chat lines.. Which I really dont understand. He said he rang it as needed someone to talk to, but a gay chat line...
A. 7 November 2011: Yes, leave. Now. Don't waste any more time. The gay chat does suggest that perhaps he's unsure of himself. But the violence suggests that he'll beat you up if you don't walk away now.
Never, ever stay where there is violence like this.... (read in full...)
I don't know how to make things up to him
Q. My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for almost a year now. I originally broke up with him because I thought it was better for myself, long behold it wasn't. We dated for almost three years, and we had a very strong connection. There have been ...
A. 7 November 2011: I'm afraid I agree with the post below. What he's really saying when he says 'you need to make things up to him', is that he wants you to put sex on a plate. There's not even any real guarantee that he'll come back. In fact, whatever you say, ... (read in full...)
Should I risk losing him as a friend and tell him how I feel?
Q. My best friend and I are quite close and I think he feels like I'm the closest one to him that he can trust. The thing is, although I put our friendship first because he means the world to me, I think I still have feelings for him. We dated brief...
A. 7 November 2011: I think perhaps this is something you just have to try. I know you two tried it before and it didn't work out, but I also think that if you don't tell him how you feel and see how it works out, you'll regret it.
The one thing I will say is that... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't hire me to work with him and I feel sick about it!
Q. My boyfriend has his own business and I hate my job. He also wants to travel a few months of the year so I am trying to find something flexible that will allow for this to happen. Lately i have been helping him with research for his business...
A. 7 November 2011: I think that it's more likely that he's worried this would have a downward effect on your relationship.
I'm sure that he appreciates all the work you've done, and I'm sure on no way he thinks you're stupid. He wouldn't be with you if you were stup... (read in full...)
Should I take this shop away from under my ex before me makes an offer on it?
Q. Hi I asked a question here several weeks ago about my bf and i looking into buying a business together, but when i found a bargain of a little shop to take on and set up a small takeaway, he automatically decided he could run it himself because ...
A. 6 November 2011: To be honest, if you think you can run it and this is something you want to do, I'd say go for it. Make sure you put some planning into it, make sure this is something you're willing to commit to, make sure you have the money to back it up.
If you ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for him, how do I know if he feels the same?
Q. I've been friends with a guy for years. Lately, we can spend hours (literally, 12-13 hours at a time) just sitting and talking without noticing the time pass and then I don't want to go home. Everything makes me think of him. You can probably guess ...
A. 6 November 2011: I don't think there is any real way to find out other than to just come clean and tell him how you feel about him clearly. Men aren't overly good at deciphering hints and such, so I think you just need to tell him and whatever happens, happens. ... (read in full...)
Is my hiv risk high?
Q. A month ago I had unprotected sex with a guy who possibly has multiple partners. however, he said he's clean. 4 days later i had unprotected sex again with another guy. is my hiv risk high?...
A. 6 November 2011: I suspect that the chances of you having something more common are higher than HIV. But you need to get checked out, and soon. And please, PLEASE stop having unprotected sex.
Get checked out.... (read in full...)
Change a bad boyfriend?
Q. i dont know how to make my boyfriend change! we have been dating for a year now and...well he cheated on me like 9 months into it and i forgave him because of the situation its a long story. but my current problem is he doesn't treat me well and i ...
A. 6 November 2011: Rule 1 one Men - We don't change. Ever.
We may adapt when it suits is, but we don't change. Your boyfriend will never change. Walk away now, or he'll destroy you. ... (read in full...)
Ex is ruining my high school life
Q. Hey, Dearcupid. I'm really sorry about the length of this, but I desperately need some help. I broke up with my girlfriend of 26 months recently because she cheated on me THREE TIMES IN ONE NIGHT and still had the nerve to get angry at me for ...
A. 30 October 2011: Actually, there might be. In England, cyber bullying has now become something that the police usually have to get involved in. So if they are posting things over the internet about you that are lies and such, I would speak to your parents and your ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
