| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
How do I make my ex regret his actions?
Q. My ex dumped me out of the blue by text, after a year. He was rude and it was full of insults. I was a good girlfriend and never cheated. He turned everyone against me. How do I make him regret it? Do people like this ever do?...
A. 16 October 2011: There is no way you can make someone like that regret it. If he treated you that badly, it meant he didn't care. If he didn't care then, then he won't care what you do now. Worse, if he did turn a lot of people against you, then getting revenge ... (read in full...)
Will no contact work? To see if we miss each other or are better off ending the relationship? She is resistent to the idea.
Q. Been dating same girl for 4.5 years now. We dont live together and dont have children. Over last 2 years we have grown apart. Today we had a long talk and we both agreed we need time apart from each other. We decided a month of no contact would be...
A. 16 October 2011: I've never really heard of a time where a break and no contact has actually worked long term. I'm sure a few have, but most of the time if you're having to take a break and stop contact, then the relationship is over.
The thing is, I've always t... (read in full...)
My ex told me he's been chaste since our breakup. Do I have a right to be fuming, now I've found out that he has been having a connection with a girl? He lied to me.
Q. This is another question to the previous one I asked, my ex says he wants to keep in touch but doesn't...! Further update and new problem! He has made much more of an effort to be in touch, we were getting along fine as friends, this last week w...
A. 16 October 2011: I didn't mean to be harsh - but you are going to wind up going mad with this man. He isn't interested in being friends, and it doesn't seem like he wants to be honest. You are wasting time. Many others have done it. I have a friend who did it once ... (read in full...)
My ex told me he's been chaste since our breakup. Do I have a right to be fuming, now I've found out that he has been having a connection with a girl? He lied to me.
Q. This is another question to the previous one I asked, my ex says he wants to keep in touch but doesn't...! Further update and new problem! He has made much more of an effort to be in touch, we were getting along fine as friends, this last week w...
A. 16 October 2011: Like I said in your last post - this guy was treating you badly in the first place and all it's done is continue. Trouble is, you now have no real right to be angry at him. You're an ex girlfriend and he doesn't have you tell you anything he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Lost, confused, and no back-up plan. How do I change courses at uni and not feel I've failed everyone?
Q. Hey, I'm three weeks into a six year vet course but hate university. I desperately want to leave, but not just due to homesickness. I do miss home, but I've made some friends and I love my accomodation. I think I've picked the wrong course, an...
A. 16 October 2011: In truth, the only person you can ever really let down in life is yourself. Others might feel let down by you, but that's their own problem in the end. Your job is to make sure that you're happy with your own life. To do that, you have to make good ... (read in full...)
I need his support. Why will my fiance not stand up for me when his Mom is appallingly rude to me?
Q. My fiance's family are Mormon and his mother has never approved of me. She has always been rude to me and I have never stood up to her because I do not feel that it is my place. My fiance and I have had so many arguments about his family and he just...
A. 16 October 2011: I would honestly think twice about marrying this man. There is absolutely no excuse for him not saying something to her, and his explanation, that it's 'other people's thoughts' is a cowardly one.
It sounds like this mother can't handle that her ... (read in full...)
I was innocent! A girl accused me of rape so her boyfriend wouldn't think she cheated! Its ruined my life!
Q. A girl I had a fling with cried rape on me and even though I was proved innocent it's ruined my life. It seems no one 100% believes me and still questions what happened. A couple of months ago I was out with a few mates in a club and got chatting to ...
A. 15 October 2011: I'm sorry this has happened. I knew someone who was raped a few years ago, and she had real trouble coming forward because she'd heard these stories and thought people wouldn't believe her. Knowing that a woman would lie over something like this ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: I don't think you're overreacting to be fair. This friend does sound like a bit of a creep who likes to use women. And I think your husband is a bit of a moron for actually sitting there and thinking that his friend's reason for all this behaviour ... (read in full...)
They are 'taken' So Why do people see married men/women in the first place?
Q. Note: if you honestly didn't know he/she was with someone, i undertand completely. I have seen so many questions on here about people being broken hearted about their lovers leaving them and all I can think is, what did you expect? I keep t...
A. 15 October 2011: Well, you're right about it being their fault ultimately. But the human mind is far more complex that to just be able to say "They are taken".
Usually in life, all stupid/wrong decisions come down to unhappiness or insecurity. If you're unhappy ... (read in full...)
Medical reason? Or does excessive kissing or kissing too deeply make your lips a little puffy?
Q. Why were my bf's lips looking slightly puffy? i wanted to ask since i noticed my bf's lips like that when he came back from work. it wasn't thin and normal like its usually.that day it looked that his upper lip was slightly bee stung. i have n...
A. 15 October 2011: I wonder of he has an allergy to something? Or maybe he was hot? I'm not really sure what else it could be. ... (read in full...)
My girl friend wants to stop sex! I freaked out. Please, how can I make our relationship work?
Q. Hi people of dearcupid I have a major problem with my girlfriend it is just that I love her so damn much and she all of sudden she asked that if we can stop having sex and I got freaked out and asked her why and if she is cheating on me or somethin...
A. 15 October 2011: Good answer YouWish. ... (read in full...)
My parents have refused my girlfriend who has been on wheelchair since birth, now I want to marry her without their assent, don’t you guys think I have taken the correct decision ?
Q. My girlfriend has been on wheelchair since birth but she's well educated and doing teaching . I think she's so pretty that one can easily compare her with Fairy. She's 5 years younger than me and I am her first boyfriend . We are in a relationship ...
A. 13 October 2011: Yes you are. You love this woman, you know it and she knows it. That's all that matters in the end.
As for your parents? Well, anyone who wants you to dump someone because they're in a wheelchair isn't worth your time. Never be blackmailed by anyo... (read in full...)
B/f wants a foursome--3 guys and me! I kind of want it too!
Q. I've had the biggest crush on this guy for like a year now. He's super adorable. We flirt all the time. He and I have been "talking" for like two months now. I love when people give me attention and he gives me the most. Last month, we were at his ...
A. 13 October 2011: I think it's pretty weird that he wants it to involve his brother.
And that's just one little thing that's out of place here.
This guy isn't actually interested in who you are, and he sure as hell doesn't care about you. He literally just wan... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a relationship but said he doesn't want me talking to other men, what is that all about?
Q. Im so confuse the guy that im be have sex with that said he didnt want a realationship just told me that i cant talk 2 any other men what all that about i was talk to him and his workmate that is my bestfriend ...
A. 12 October 2011: Just leave. He's also trying to blackmail you, so just leave him and get him out of your life. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a relationship but said he doesn't want me talking to other men, what is that all about?
Q. Im so confuse the guy that im be have sex with that said he didnt want a realationship just told me that i cant talk 2 any other men what all that about i was talk to him and his workmate that is my bestfriend ...
A. 12 October 2011: This is the sort of guy you need to cut out of your life. He just wants you around for when he wants sex, and that's all. If you have any respect for yourself, move on from him.... (read in full...)
Will a guy go back to his old ways?
Q. My boyfriend and I had broke up for a while. He lied and hid a lot from me in the past. After he realized what he had lost he came back to me promised no more of that and because I love him I decided to get back with him. A part of me believes him ...
A. 12 October 2011: I know just from this post that he will go back to his old ways. Do you know why? It's that final line in your post.
"What do I avoid doing so he doesn't feel the need to lie"
You've basically just accepted that his lying is your fault. You actu... (read in full...)
How do I make my LDR b/f understand that his actions make me feel like I'm not worth it?
Q. Im in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of three years. As of these last few months we both are very busy. We see eachother about twice a month, skype here and there, and We text maybe at the most for a couple hours a day everyday and ...
A. 12 October 2011: The problem is that it's an LDR. Long distance is very hard to keep up at the best of times, and when one person isn't quite making the effort, it soon becomes impossible.
I think the time has come for you to actually say something to him about it. ... (read in full...)
How to seek revenge on a player?
Q. I was dating a player, and he keeps coming back for sex coz we have chemistry..I have been ignoring him..what is the best revenge? Is it better to confront him, and end it.. or be friendly and sweet like he doesnt mean anything to me, and gently p...
A. 11 October 2011: What you're asking is something that you can't have. You're asking how to get revenge on someone who never cared for you anyway, and won't care what you do no matter what it is. If anything, this will backfire on you because you'll look like a Bunny ... (read in full...)
Should I make her leave me alone?
Q. My ex and I broke up. she wants to be freinds and talk. I cant be just her friend. I love her too much. I have told her I dont want to be friends. I told her to just move on and she doesnt. I dont want her to move on at all but she has told me that ...
A. 11 October 2011: Continue to ignore her and continue to maintain silence. Believe me, this approach worked for me a few years ago. ... (read in full...)
Have I lost him?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for just over two years but suddenly yesterday, after a bad argument I solely threatened to break up with him, and he told me that it was the right thing to do, that we do not work and he doesn't want a headache ...
A. 11 October 2011: You are on your very last chance with this guy right now. Use it wisely, because if you start any more of those arguments, or if you hurt him again, he will walk.
The fact that he has given you this last chance after what you said (you were the ... (read in full...)
Played a bit of a game and afraid it's bitten me
Q. What do I do? i really like this guy. please help? ? I've been getting to know this guy for a while now. First we use to speak on the phone everyday for about a week. Then he asked if he's the only guy I was talking to and I said no, am talking ...
A. 11 October 2011: I think you've set things back a bit with this guy. You said he wasn't the only guy, so that got him wary, and then when he suggested another date you said no and changed it. When you change a date, usually you're the one who has to then follow that ... (read in full...)
It was nothing serious and he blew it out of proportion
Q. My partner caught me flirting on line. He had warned me several times to stop. I did for a while. He called round unexpectedly while i was in some erotic conversation. He has been a good father figure to my two teenage sons. After getting abusive he ...
A. 11 October 2011: When your sons are telling you that you're in the wrong over their step-father, then it's time to eat some humble pie and accept that you were wrong.
He's not a cry baby. You cheated before whilst online. He told you to stop. You did it again and ... (read in full...)
Should I bother trying to be her friend?
Q. My friend and I had an argument over a lie I told her and had a huge fight! She quit talking to me. I tried talking to her but she was so angry she cussed at me and told her to not speak to her ever again. Then over the course of a few weeks (once a ...
A. 6 October 2011: I don't know what the lie was, but you hurt her very badly for her to effectively cut you out like this. The price of lying to someone and hurting them this badly, is that they get the power to take entire control of this situation. She had the ... (read in full...)
My FWB is being far too casual with me. Is he losing interest?
Q. I don't understand my FWB guy. He seemed really into me and said that he just wanted "a bit of fun" I am fine with this. But what I don't get is that I just hardly ever hear from him. If I text him he doesn't always reply we're supposed to be m...
A. 6 October 2011: OP, hate to put it so bluntly - but he's not in it for the friends, he's just in for the sex. You're looking for the wrong thing with the wrong man, and you're going to get hurt very quickly.
He's not interested in the friend part, and there's no w... (read in full...)
He makes excuses to avoid sex.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have had a gorgeous little boy 7 months ago,everythings going great,okay a few arguements but over silly things,our relationship with our son is great its just our relationship that seems to be going down hill. We havent had sex ...
A. 6 October 2011: Then there's a very high chance that he may have been somewhat traumatized because of it. Some men find it very hard to have sex with their partners if they've been at a birth, because their child (putting it bluntly) came out the same way that he'd ... (read in full...)
Should you date again if you aren't completely over an ex?
Q. Is it wrong to start dating again even if you aren't completely over an ex? My last relationship was short term, but it me and her shared an amazing connection and our break up was purely circumstantial. The break up happened several months ago so I ...
A. 6 October 2011: Dating someone is one thing. I think dating can help people get over other people.
It's when people get into relationships when they don't work.
By all means, date, but if you don't feel like you're over your ex, don't just take on a rebound.... (read in full...)
Do I follow my heart and move far away from my kids or try to stick it out?
Q. Hi again guys. Since last time I asked a question, I made the decision to end the marriage, and filed for divorce a few months ago. Nothing was getting any easier, and my soon to be ex even started going on dating sites while I was trying hard to ...
A. 6 October 2011: I sometimes don't think that parents understand the emotional power that they have over their children. It is huge, and in the hands of the wrong person, or someone who isn't thinking straight, it can be dangerous.
See, you will miss your kids... (read in full...)
Should I stick around to see if he'll ever love me?
Q. He said, "I do love you" the other night...in the dark. I took it to mean he's trying to convince himself he loves me. He's already told me he loves just me and his brother. I'm guessing he's not in love with me but he does care and love me - he ...
A. 6 October 2011: To be honest, I think he does love you. On what you've written here, it seems like you might be wanting something that you already have, or that you've not understood him properly and are making this into something that it's not. ... (read in full...)
How should I control my jealously and this shock that my girlfriend defeated me in a game of soccer?
Q. Six months back, I started teaching Soccer to my girlfriend. We have been together two years. Two days ago, we had one-to-one match and I got shocked to death that she beat me by 6 goals to 3, out smarting me in every aspect of the game. It got ...
A. 6 October 2011: From a man to another man:
Being beaten by your girlfriend isn't bad.
Being beaten, then being jealous and throwing your toys out the pram is bad.
Accept you lost gracefully to someone who you taught to play. The more you make of this, the mo... (read in full...)
My FWB is being far too casual with me. Is he losing interest?
Q. I don't understand my FWB guy. He seemed really into me and said that he just wanted "a bit of fun" I am fine with this. But what I don't get is that I just hardly ever hear from him. If I text him he doesn't always reply we're supposed to be m...
A. 6 October 2011: I think you're starting to mix up what this man means to you. He's a FWB, not a boyfriend. He doesn't need to check in with you, he doesn't need to answer to you or anything like that. The point of a FWB is that you occasionally come together for ... (read in full...)
Why did my last guy refuse to give me another chance? I know I cheated. What should I do?
Q. Since as long as I can think back I have cheated on every guy I dated. I had been with my soul mate now for 9 years. For 2 years I did resist cheating except for the first 6 months. We was about to set a date to marry when he found out I was sex ...
A. 6 October 2011: I'm sorry, but this is all about you. You don't seem to have accepted any responsibility for what you have done at all. You've consistently cheated on everyone that you've dated, including your so called soul mate. You then stopped. Then you started ... (read in full...)
He makes excuses to avoid sex.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have had a gorgeous little boy 7 months ago,everythings going great,okay a few arguements but over silly things,our relationship with our son is great its just our relationship that seems to be going down hill. We havent had sex ...
A. 6 October 2011: Was he present at the birth?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is taller than me, and I don't know how to kiss him!
Q. Ok so i'm 13, never had my first kiss, but i have a boyfriend in 8th (i'm in 7th). We have been together for like 2 days but i know the kiss is coming sooner or later (dont judge). I'm a shortie 4'9" and he's 5'8" big diffrence to me. To get the ...
A. 6 October 2011: I'm 6,2 and my girlfriend is 5,6. I just have crouch a bit for her, and she has to look up. Or we kiss sitting down depending on where we are. ... (read in full...)
My crush isn't showing any interest, should I just leave him alone?
Q. After you've known your crush for a month and after you've been talking to him and trying to get know him And yet he still doesn't really show any interest Would it be best to just leave him alone Or just tell him how you feel so that he'll know?...
A. 6 October 2011: Teenage boys are some of the most closed minds you'll ever meet when it comes to working out how girls feel. I remember when I was a teenage boy and I'll tell you that I never once knew what the hell was going on with girls. And my friends and many ... (read in full...)
I think my ex heard what I said about him, when I was talking to my friend! What should I do now?
Q. Today I was in a side room in my uni building. I was talking to a friend about my ex and I said "That dick wad dumped me!". My ex was standing right outside when I said this, and I don't know if he heard me or not. I feel so guilty, but I am very ...
A. 6 October 2011: I really think you should just leave this well alone. If you go to him, you're likely to get more hurt than you already are. I think you need to spend more time and effort trying to get over him now, because it's clear your bitterness and anger is ... (read in full...)
Is it common for guys to take pictures of a girl during intimate moments?
Q. This is pretty humiliating but i'd like to know peoples opinions. Me and a guy i was seeing were having sex then (without asking) he starts taking pictures of me! I was lying on the bed and he was standing and just started taking pictures while he...
A. 6 October 2011: To be honest, this is a bit sleazy. I don't think that many men in committed relationships would do this kind of thing, let alone some casual fling.
I think you did the right thing by making him delete them, and also by ending it. Those photos woul... (read in full...)
B/f says he doesn't watch porn anymore but won't get rid of his collection!
Q. Hey there, So my bf and I have been together for about 9 months, and our relationship is great, sex is great, and we're pretty much best friends. I was just curious about his watching porn, so we talked about it. I'm not opposed to porn necessar...
A. 5 October 2011: Pretty clear that he's still watching it to be honest. ... (read in full...)
DC aunts, do any of you like going out to bars and clubs by yourselves?
Q. Do any women here like going out to bars and clubs on their own ? I'm in my 20's and dont really have many friends so i'm wondering whether to go out on my own ? I think i would feel nervous and self conscious though.i think men are brave to go out ...
A. 5 October 2011: I also think it's probably not the best idea. Going out to say, a class or gym or something like that alone is one thing. Going out to a club or bar is entirely another thing.
I think first of all, if you do go out alone all that will happen is t... (read in full...)
My HUSBAND was interviewed, but I saw that he kept looking in the direction where girls were?
Q. he is a theater actor and was interviewed at a talk show. i noticed that he was frequently looking the direction where many girls were sitting there were men too but the staring became too noticeable. i saw that he kept looking in the other di...
A. 1 October 2011: If he's a theatre actor and he was being interviewed, chances are he was playing to the audience. I think you might be making something very big out of nothing here. I would drop it now, or this husband of yours might start to worry you're not up to ... (read in full...)
I'm angry that I was so kind to this man and he doesn't appreciate it!
Q. I ended my relationship with my boyfriend six wks ago because we wanted different things! He doesnt want anymore kids, he has one son from a previous relationship! Doesnt believe in marriage! And wont ever move from his house which is half hr away! ...
A. 1 October 2011: Sadly, no matter how nice you are to someone, it doesn't mean they'll be nice back.
What you found in this man, was a user and abuser. He clearly had his own agenda from the start, namely to get someone who was nice and just use them. That was you.... (read in full...)
Do we tell the parents of my son's girlfriend that we walked in on them having oral sex?
Q. My husband and I walked in on my 17 year old son performing oral sex on his girl friend who is 16. My husband and I disagree on what we should do. I think that we should call her parents and tell them what happened. My husband on the other hand said ...
A. 1 October 2011: I'm not a parent. I do know this though - the legal age of consent in Canada is 16. Therefore neither were breaking the law. On top of that, if you said something and her parents suddenly turned against your son, your son would seriously turn ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
