A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I been seeing a guy for a while, purely on a sexual basis but it's usually only when he wants - yes I do realise he is just using me but it doesn't really bother me too much as it is the best I and he (well he claims anyway) have had. Anyway he admitted that he (his words) was hardcore attracted to me and that's his reason for only seeing me at his convenience. I told him I liked him too and then never heard back. Was so hurt over the non response got super drunk and sent him nasty texts to which he didn't reply. I feel real bad about it now and wish I never did it, what should I do? I really don't want to give up just yet the best I've ever had. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advise and Zee is right we were both using each other, it was me that said the position of f^^^^ buddy is his! but then ended up developing feelings for him and its feelings I have never felt before - don't know if it's love or what (thought I knew what love was twice before but was wrong!) but do feel that what we share when together is a rare thing.I did end up sending him one last text before to say sorry for some of what I said and that it will be the last time I will contact him. I just thought that the nasty texting was childish and totally is not my style.I will give him that time, maybe it is what he needs (here's hoping anyway) I just can't stop thinking about him no matter what I do to try forget about him.Wish me luck and will keep you informed of any progress - if any! :(
A
female
reader, TheCagedInsanity  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 You shouldn't even bother fixing the situation. It's best to stay away from him, considering he's using you purely for sex. Throwing your body at some guy who's only physically attracted to you is low, and perhaps you don't fully see that.
You could try conselling - it would work wonders. The therapist will find what makes you think like you do, and you'll truly see what kind of a devil-of-a-man he is.
Wasting your body with a useless fool like that isn't right. You should be giving someone who REALLY cares about you sex. It's not a thing to take for granted.
Sincerely,
Kylie
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): Why is everyone agreeing that he used her just because the OP is a FEMALE and used that term? They were very clearly using each other with full consent, and subsequently I don't approve of the "use" term unless it's meant on the mere physical level, and mutually.They're both consenting adults, and the nature of the relationship was, since the very beginning, understood and AGREED.I don't find it surprising that either party would keep a distance if it was felt at some point provided the agreement's terms were changing into something possibly not wanted. @OP: Give him time and see. If he doesn't show up in due course then it's your call whether to pursue a new man for a similar relationship, or take a rest to recover emotionally, and then pursue a new relationship with someone who shows signs that he wants something deeper and more meaningful.In all cases please stop the "used me" phrase into your words, because you're the first one who knows that that te either does not apply here, or goes both ways.Cheers,Zee
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 November 2011):
 Eh, let it go. In the end it's just not worth it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): Hi Hun, have been in your shoes. Unfortunately some of us girls have rampaging bonding hormones after we make love....we're biologically not made up like men..they can have sex & disappear and on to the next conquest. Unfortunately for us sensitive souls ( as nature intended us to be) we can't shag like men !!! If you carry on with the sex (regardless of how fab it is ;-) ) You are going to get hurt big time and your self esteem will take a tumble...give him a wide berth, regain your self respect and give your goodies to some guy who respects you & adores you xxxx Hey girls lets get the men working for it !!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Good sex doesn't justify being treated like dirt. I know it may seem bad, but really, you dodged a bullet here! This guy is treating you worse than the proverbial sock.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2011):
Err, you need to give up. If there was ever a man who treated you like dirt, this is it. The moment you showed emotion, that was it. And those texts you sent afterwards probably just made him go further away.
The best sex in the world doesn't make up for the fact that this guy didn't think anything of you. Also, why are you really willing to allow yourself to be treated this way. I can't believe that it's just the sex. You can find good sex with someone who cares. This is just a man who used you and has now thrown you away.
Why did you really allow this to happen?
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