The fog has worn off the affair but I love my married boyfriend. It's hard to stay but also hard to leave. What do I do?
Q. I am having a difficult time. No judgment please. Just help. I am the mistress of a married man and I have been for almost 2 years. I have heard it all. Believe me. Nobody can punish me more than I have punished myself. The problem is I am i...
A. 15 April 2015: if you were in control you could make him leave his wife for you. You
can't so you aren't. You are just some sperm depository living in a dream world. And you have been for a number of years. Such a waste.... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any suggestion/herbal remedies for a crying always hungry baby?
Q. This is not a relationship question but I hope it will be printed anyway ... because it is for the good cause of helping a distressed new mother. A younger friend of mine just had on March 3rd her first baby. The baby is healthy, beautifu...
A. 14 April 2015: Add a little baby rice cereal to the formula but make it really thin and use a larger holed nipple and see how the baby does with that. It tends to stick to their ribs a little longer so they don't need as many feedings. And during the day when she ... (read in full...)
The fog has worn off the affair but I love my married boyfriend. It's hard to stay but also hard to leave. What do I do?
Q. I am having a difficult time. No judgment please. Just help. I am the mistress of a married man and I have been for almost 2 years. I have heard it all. Believe me. Nobody can punish me more than I have punished myself. The problem is I am i...
A. 14 April 2015: Cut off the sex and see how strong your "relationship" is. He'll be gone in a flash. The only "needs" of his that you are filling are sexual. You are a body just a body, which as you so rightly pointed out can be replaced. Your youth and beauty will ... (read in full...)
I want to save my marriage, but my husband and his sister say they're happier without me!
Q. Iwe had long distance relationship for two n half years, before we got married. We were supposed to move together one month after marriage. My husband told me the third day of our marriage that few days ago he had slept with his ex colleague on a ...
A. 14 April 2015: Your choice but I think you are just wasting your time and setting yourself up for more heartache.... (read in full...)
How do we continue to enjoy ourselves despite the language obstacle?
Q. As most of them go, I met him online. He's a German intern only around until June and this works fine for me as I was not looking for anything too long term either. However, I have little knowledge of German, and only speak English and Xhosa. He is ...
A. 13 April 2015: Just remember that Nein means Nein and you'll be okay.... (read in full...)
Can masturbating with a shower jet cause lasting damage?
Q. A question for the ladies, is it possible to cause any permanent damage/desensitizing to 'the clit' by masturbating with a shower head? I read online recently about how masturbating with a shower jet might damage the nerves. Did concern me as...
A. 13 April 2015: Shower jets...no but I would steer clear of power sprayers.... (read in full...)
I want to save my marriage, but my husband and his sister say they're happier without me!
Q. Iwe had long distance relationship for two n half years, before we got married. We were supposed to move together one month after marriage. My husband told me the third day of our marriage that few days ago he had slept with his ex colleague on a ...
A. 13 April 2015: Why would you want to save a marriage that is only on paper? He cheated on you, kicked you out, and more or less ignores you when he isn't being downright rude to you. His relationship with his sister is very weird too. I would put all this behind ... (read in full...)
Do girls enjoy having their bodies rubbed with other men in crowded bus?
Q. Before I continue, I want you to know that I am around 19 and an attractive male. People and friends adore me every now and then, I don't have girlfriend though and don't even have female friends. The reason for all that is I am shy and not much ...
A. 12 April 2015: I would hazard to guess that the majority of women get on a crowded bus for the sole reason of needing to get to their destination and NOT for any sexual stimulation.
... (read in full...)
My ex cannot stand to see me after 9 years? Why is he like this?
Q. I have a question about my ex. I ended the relationship back in 2004 because of how he treated me, he was 20 at the time and I think a lot had to do with his lack of maturity. When we broke up, things were a bit convoluted. We agreed to be friends ...
A. 10 April 2015: I totally agree, there is no way of knowing the exact reasons why he wants to avoid you so I suggest you don't waste another second ruminating about it. You don't still have romantic feelings for him do you?... (read in full...)
How do I totally forget my FWB?
Q. about a yr ago I met a guy and we became friends with benefit I love him so much. I got pregnant twice..he didn't even wanna fall in love with me coz of his past experience but I never really cared but as time goes on my love for him really grew ...
A. 10 April 2015: First of all, you were not in a FWB relationship at all, he was just using for sex. Big difference. If you really want to forget him then you have to stay in total no contact, and then you stay very busy and keep your mind as occupied as you can, ... (read in full...)
Should I invite my crush and his friend out to swim?
Q. I met a cute guy in the fall in my swim class that i unintentionally fell for. We talked a few times in the fall, but not a lot. During the winter, we didn't have class together, so i never saw him. But its the beginning of the spring quarter and ...
A. 10 April 2015: You've posted this question before and received many answers encouraging you to just ask the guy out. You will only get more of those responses this time around. Why are you dragging your feet? "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 dating a 21 year old and don't know how to tell my parents
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend recently turned 21 I'll be turning 16 in june, my brothers 18 and he and the rest of my siblings and cousins are okay with it, weve been dating 7months yesterday and im really happy....but i really want to tell my parents but ...
A. 9 April 2015: I wouldn't let my kids go on single dates at 15 let alone date someone 21! How on earth you have been able to hide this from your parents for this long is amazing. You must be a magnificent liar or they must be totally out of it. Just know that when ... (read in full...)
I think my Ex GF Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Q. I've recently broken up with my gf of about a year. I loved her more than any woman I've ever been with, but throughout the relationship she exhibited signs of mental instability that I overlooked or made excuses for because I love her. Someone ...
A. 9 April 2015: What are you thinking about doing? Calling her up and saying "Hey you know I've done some research and I'm pretty sure you are mentally ill"? That should go over like a lead balloon. I think your best option is to just let all this go and get on ... (read in full...)
My sister thinks I'm overreacting to my niece's bad behaviour
Q. My sister refuses to put her foot down on my 5 year old niece's behaviour all the time and it's making me not want to visit them because doing so has become a pain. She doesn't smack her which is understandable but even if her kid does somethi...
A. 7 April 2015: You have every right not to visit as often, nobody likes being around a bratty kid, I don't blame you a bit. But she is your sister's headache not yours, trust me her mother will have her hands full in a couple of years, a bratty 15 year old is even ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I just wish I had punched him so he could feel pain too!
Q. I just cannot move on. What the heck. Today I think I saw my ex we go to the same college and he cheated and left, while we were breaking up I demanded we talk about it but he said he had class and a quiz an excuse to leave at that moment my heart ...
A. 2 April 2015: Pain from a punch doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as the pain from a broken heart. You just need to work on blocking/removing him from your thoughts and life as much as you possibly can. Time is your best friend.... (read in full...)
Is 47 too old to start a family?
Q. Im 47 yo male. Just wondering what opinions are on starting a family when you are older? Id like a male and female opinion. Cheers....
A. 30 March 2015: I too became a grandma at age 48, 15 years ago. I have 11 grandkids now and I can tell you that whenever I am called upon for babysitting duty I make sure to schedule at least a day for recovery. Racing around corralling a two year old at 26 is a ... (read in full...)
How do I leave a job that needs me?
Q. I work in a small company of 12-14 people. Besides my manager, I'm the only one in my department. There's two other depts. I've been here 9 months. My position requires negotiating rates and contracts, and maintaining a good relationship and...
A. 27 March 2015: The rule of thumb is your notice matches your pay schedule. If you get paid every two weeks then two weeks notice. If you get paid once a week then one week notice (but two is being considerate)and so on, I myself get paid monthly so technically I ... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: "YOU ASS-U-ME so you make an ASS out of YOU and ME…."
Excellent SVC! Can I use this?... (read in full...)
Twelve days after the break up. Please tell me it gets better.
Q. 12 days post BU and I feel so terrible. I broke it off with him, after being together almost 5 years. He was mistreating me and just wasn't good for me in any way. I went straight into blocking/deleting him from everywhere and have been NC since. ...
A. 24 March 2015: Really, and I mean this, the pain will stop and it WILL get better. You did the right thing and are doing it in the right way, no contact. Your being sick surely isn't helping the situation that's for sure. Go ahead and cry. Eat your favorite ice ... (read in full...)
My sister's rage is out of control
Q. Before our studies commenced we had both decided to live together in a two bed flat in the Student Village. I thought it was going to be amazing... But it turns out that she gets angry and violent really, really easily. I have concerns that she's ...
A. 24 March 2015: She definitely needs some counseling. Do you have a counseling center at your school? Maybe you could talk to them about her angry outbursts, they may have an outreach program for the students where a counselor arranges a session with a troubled ... (read in full...)
Will the over-sexualization of women ever stop?
Q. Why are there so many expectations for women? I've started to notice a trend that women are mostly valued by their attractiveness. We're expected to shave, wear makeup, be skinny, have larger boobs and a nice butt, etc. The list goes on and on. I ...
A. 20 March 2015: damn it Honeypie you beat me again, you young whippersnappers type too fast.... (read in full...)
Will the over-sexualization of women ever stop?
Q. Why are there so many expectations for women? I've started to notice a trend that women are mostly valued by their attractiveness. We're expected to shave, wear makeup, be skinny, have larger boobs and a nice butt, etc. The list goes on and on. I ...
A. 20 March 2015: You've noticed a "trend"? Honey this has been going on for centuries albeit minus TV and the internet etc...Society just keeps on plugging along. Sex sells in advertising it's just a fact. You can refuse to buy the products that exploit women if you ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my FWB man. Should I end it? I don't think he'll leave his g/f for me
Q. I'm in a total quandary! I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship for over two years with a guy who has a girlfriend, but whom he is mostly only with for financial "trapped" reasons. Debts and life's stresses mean it is nigh on impossible ...
A. 19 March 2015: Since you reposted I guess I'll do the same:
What you are getting from this guy is all you will ever get from this guy. It works out pretty sweet for him I must say. His REAL girlfriend will continue to post their special moments on Facebook and ... (read in full...)
How did I become the family villian?
Q. A question: If a kid gets punished for something they did not do, is it child abuse even if not excessive just because the kid was innocent and the parent did not believe them? I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years for this reason. ...
A. 18 March 2015: You bit your nose off to spite your face. Meet with your mom for crying out loud and put all this behind you.
... (read in full...)
Our "happy family" is not so happy!
Q. its been 3 months since i moved in with my fiance. we have been dating for 4 years and i have a 1 and half daughter with him. before we moved in ie me and my daughter, we used to see each other every weekend and it was cool. He was living with ...
A. 16 March 2015: When both man and woman are bringing home the bacon then it's up to both to cook said bacon. Just like the anony said, there are no gender chores when both are working. Tell your boyfriend he has to pick the pace and make more money so you can quit ... (read in full...)
I'm in a total quandary! In love with my FWB and wondering if I should tell him?
Q. I'm in a total quandary! I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship for over two years with a guy who has a girlfriend, but whom he is mostly only with for financial "trapped" reasons. Debts and life's stresses mean it is nigh on impossible ...
A. 16 March 2015: What you are getting from this guy is all you will ever get from this guy. It works out pretty sweet for him I must say. His REAL girlfriend will continue to post their special moments on Facebook and you will remain dark as his dirty little secret. ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't want me to marry him because of his caste!
Q. Hi, I'm in a moral dilemma and would love to receive some advice. I'm in relationship with a guy since two years. we are very happy together. and wish to get married. but he does not belong to my caste I intro...
A. 13 March 2015: What in the sam hell is a "Hunchy-Bunchy"? Sorry OP I just had to ask..... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend tells me what to do and doesn't want me talking to other men
Q. I met my LDR boyfriend online on a dating website, I live in a different country. He wants to meet me next year, now i am not comfortable to have sex before marriage. Now he has forcibly made me delete my account on the website right a month we met. ...
A. 13 March 2015: Did he really say "fuck"? What a romantic. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mother sleeps in the room next door and has taken over his house. I don't like it!
Q. My 44 year old BF let his mother to move in with him after her divorce (4 years ago). She now has her own room (next to his) and keeps coming up with reasons to stay. When I express my discomfort I am met with defense of her reasons to stay which ...
A. 11 March 2015: Apparently he is happy to have his mother living there. She takes care of the housework and his kid when he is staying over, I mean your boyfriend must like all the extra free time. It's his house his mother and his choice. Since you've already told ... (read in full...)
I'm the only one trying in this relationship so why doesn't he just break up with me?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my current bf for past 4 years , had our ups and downs. But for past few weeks our relationship is going downhill. He stopped even trying to be nice, just stopped putting any effort in the relationship, no fights and no ta...
A. 11 March 2015: Maybe you need to take some time apart for awhile. You may just realize you are happier without him, plus it will more or less force him to consider the relationship. I usually don't advise trial break-ups but in this case I think it's warranted.... (read in full...)
How often should adults see their friends ?
Q. How often should adults see their friends? Especially people over 35 ? Most people are busy with family, work, hobbies etc , life! Not not everyone has kids, some do,some dont.. I read somewhere to maintntain good mental health a person shou...
A. 11 March 2015: Do you have a family you are busy with or do you live alone?... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into this question?
Q. Hi recently one of my guy friends who I occasionally make out with (when there's nobody else) texted me that I looked hot at a party we both recently went to. A bit later after we were flirting and joking (like usual) he said "can I check where yo...
A. 10 March 2015: It's okay you stuttered saved me the time to basically repeat what you just said ;)... (read in full...)
Why won't my ex give me back my garage door opener? Is she punishing me or does she want me back?
Q. I broke up with my ex about a month ago, we were together almost a year though a LOT of ups and downs. She was frequently insecure and jealous and would always accuse me of trying to sleep with other women. We're talking about friends 10 years ...
A. 9 March 2015: I just bought a new remote for my garage door, got it online for just under 40 dollars.... (read in full...)
Was he looking for someone to cheat with?
Q. So some background info ... Ive been with my partner for 2.5 years. Hes 38, i'm 33 Ive had 2 serious relationships before him and have never cheated on any of my partners. Hes had one serious relationship when he was about 25. This lasted three ...
A. 5 March 2015: What should you do? You should keep your [insert my name]. You've observed first hand his cheating ways.... (read in full...)
Can anything really happen if you give up masturbating
Q. I know there's all kinds of mythical things people tell you will happen if you masturbate, but is there anything real that could happen if you don't? I gave it up for Lent and I would love to know....
A. 3 March 2015: So Deirdre are you telling me that the hairy palms story is a lie? I need to know for the DC Manual.... (read in full...)
I acted immaturely towards him and then asked if he wanted to be FWB's, he hasn't responded. Advice?
Q. I met this guy off this dating site. I didnt like him at first, I thought his voice was loud and very pronounced (Im assuming he had to learn how to talk that way from teaching; he is a first year math teacher). He is a good guy though but our ...
A. 3 March 2015: Apparently he isn't into a FWB type of relationship, surprisingly lots of guys aren't. Sorry Hon, but I think this ship has sailed. ... (read in full...)
Bondage and bringing it up to my partner?
Q. hello i always fantasized about bondage sex and now since i watched the 50 shades of grey movie it made me want it even more. how can i bring this subject to my partner? thank u ...
A. 26 February 2015: I only read the first one and had to struggle to finish it. Very poorly written erotica, not even "throbbing manhood" worthy. I'm pretty sure reading it lowered my IQ.... (read in full...)
Bondage and bringing it up to my partner?
Q. hello i always fantasized about bondage sex and now since i watched the 50 shades of grey movie it made me want it even more. how can i bring this subject to my partner? thank u ...
A. 25 February 2015: That stupid trilogy has been out now for quite a awhile but I guess we can expect to be getting a lot of these posts now that they somehow thought that it was worthy of a movie. OP Honeypie is correct, educate yourself and find out exactly what YOU ... (read in full...)
Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 20 February 2015: A good mechanic and a good pediatrician...yeah bob... (read in full...)
Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 20 February 2015: Block, unfriend, delete, she'll get the message.... (read in full...)
Online stalking obsession
Q. Hi there, I have a major issue thats been controlling my life, I have a very bad habit of internet stalking people, my boyfriends ex, friends of friends, my ex and his new gf, its like an addiction, it think its interesting watching peoples...
A. 17 February 2015: Like quitting any bad habit, if you can't stop it on your own then you need to seek professional help. There is no shame in that. The only shame I see is if you DON'T do anything about it and indeed waste your life peering into other people's.... (read in full...)
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