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*emonpixie agony aunt


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Hi. Well I'm 24 years old. I've been in several long and short term relationships and I am a pretty good listener. I studied Psychology as an undergrad an although I am not a Psychologist I have been told I am good with helping people cope.

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Why won't he meet up with me?

Q.   Hi all! i am kinda confused about my best buddy..he has a steady gal since past 5-6yrs..for whom he still buys gifts and takes her out and stuff..but does not talk to her as much as me..he even confessed this to me..he confides in me all that he d...

A.   17 January 2010: He doesn't want you in his life, because he HAS told you a lot of things. There are some people who like someone who is uninvolved in their life really, someone who is like a free therapist, I believe you have been deemed to this position. I have a ... (read in full...)

What lesson can I learn from all of this?

Q.   i actually thought he liked me.. made me feel so Special. He would ring and text me all the time but he then pressured into sex.. and i gave in and I regret it and hate myself SO much. He didn't even ring to find out if i got home safe or not.....

A.   17 January 2010: The lesson you can learn is not to do that again to yourself. No matter what excuse he may eventually give, trust me it's BS, if I guys sleeps with you for the first time and then doesn't call for 3 or more days, he's not into you! Im sorry this ... (read in full...)

What's wrong with me? I love my teacher (not IN love)

Q.   Ok, so I've been doing as much research as possible over the internet on this topic but none of the cases I found were quite the same as mine, and after months of searching for advice online and finding nothing, I've decided to post my question on ...

A.   17 January 2010: Do you think it's possible you are placing this woman on a pedestal? She seems to be someone you may idolize. He's a question, are the older women in your family not what you consider the ideal female? You may not be looking for a mother figu... (read in full...)

Will I be stuck in this rut forever where I don't meet many girls?

Q.   -Nearly 22 -Never had a girlfriend -Kissed once ( drunk ) -I really struggle talking to girls -No friends that are girls, not even 'Sorta' friends -Never approached a girl, but read everything on how to do it lol I feel a big void, never ha...

A.   26 January 2009: Its all about approachability mate. It's tough to describe but some people are just unapproachable...whether it's because of their looks (not hot, or not) their mannerisms, or their location. You're probably saying location? What the? Well I ... (read in full...)

What would you do if your boyfriend kissed his ex on christmas day??

Q.   What would you do if your boyfriend kissed his ex on christmas day?? I've only just found out am am very upset. I've been with him for four months five months on the 19th of febuary. I got told that he had done something with another girl so I ask...

A.   26 January 2009: You've been together less than 6 months... and he has cheated. The first year is supposed to be "the honeymoon" stage of love. And you're already stressed an upset. I'm going to tell you what I told myself when I was cheated on. You hav... (read in full...)

Broken up for 3 months now but I miss her like crazy. How do I get her back?

Q.   Me and my girl have been broken up for about 3 months now, and I miss her like crazy, how do I get her back?...

A.   2 June 2007: Without anymore info than that its difficult to answer. HOw did you 2 break up? Who broke up with who? And how long were you 2 together? But most of the time break-up's are for a good reason. Whether you borke up with her or vice versa... Do you ... (read in full...)

Question about the site--What does the 'red heart' next to your name mean?

Q.   What does it mean when you look at an answer you've posted on dear cupid and there is a red love heart thing next to your name? Thanks....

A.   2 June 2007: It just means the you have a high rating. When someone answers a question... you can rate their answer and the Agony Aunts that get mostly Good rating eventually recieve a little heart next to their name. It's just so readers know that a lot of ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend will only love me if I loose weight. Should I dump him?

Q.   My boyfriend told me that I need to lose weight. We just got back together after we broke up for a couple of months and he said that I looked like I gain weight. So I told him you don't love me the way I am? He said I'll love you if you lost some ...

A.   9 May 2007: Sweetie, dump him! As Yos said love is not conditioned upon weight! And when you said [I don't think I'm that fat for him to even say this!!] Even if you were morbidly obese he should say I wont love you until... the proper way would be 'I'm genu... (read in full...)

If a guy ejaculates on your vagina...can you still get pregnant?

Q.   i have a question.. i have a friend whom i was going out with for a while and we broke up and we just had sex last saturday.. and i was wandering if a guy pulls out and cums on ur private.. could you still get pregnant? (no we did not use a condom) ...

A.   23 April 2007: Well with not using a condom regardless of the whole pulling out ordeal you can be pregnant from pre-cum. And there is a possibility as well from the guy ejaculating on your vagina. Its not highly likely however it's not unheard of... be more ... (read in full...)

My ex' bf's new gf is trying to get in touch with me. I'm wondering what she wants from me?

Q.   I broke up with my ex in January 2004, I had had suspicions for some time that he liked this other girl and sure enough they started going out a couple of weeks later! Since then I have tried to stay friends with him but he likes going down memory ...

A.   5 April 2007: Maybe she wants some dirt. She knows he moves on fast maybe they are having troubles and the same thing is happening all over again. It could be a number of things really. If she does get ahold of you just let her talk dont give her any dirt unless ... (read in full...)

How can we make penetration easier?

Q.   Hi, me and my boyfriend tryed to have sex the other night. but he couldnt get his penis in me, he found it sore because i was to tight. but i am not a virgin, its been 4 months since i had sex with someone else and it wasnt as difficult , how ...

A.   27 March 2007: It could just be nerves (often times it's difficult to become 'wet' when ypur a little overwhelmed) or common vaginal dryness (hormones and just something physical) Try KY Jelly or some other lubricant. But honestly if it's nerves maybe try keeping ... (read in full...)

If I believe in something strongly, do I have the right to force it onto others?

Q.   If i believe about something very strongly, do i have to force it on to other for it to get really justified as a universal truth? Does it become universal truth if one or two people agree with it or join hands with me in respect to the belief?...

A.   24 March 2007: No... if you truly believe in something then why does it matter what anyone else thinks? If you are in a debate or the subject is brought up I believe it's appropriate to let people know your view points but not to try and convince anyone otherwise. ... (read in full...)

After 2 years I still don't trust him! I'm stick of the lies, he's sick of the snooping!

Q.   Recently I sent a text message to a woman that is a secretary at my fiance's company because I heard a voicemail on his phone from her. I check his emails and now he is angry because I embarrassed him and it was business. Reason being is af...

A.   24 March 2007: I have to be blunt with this. It seems you two are headed for disaster. You know what type of guy he is... he's lied and wanted other women so either accept or move on. I know it's difficult but some people just cant help themselves. You are looking ... (read in full...)

My son has been caught making fun of fat people. What can I do to make him stop this?

Q.   I received a phone call off my son's PE teacher yesterday about his behaviour. My son is 15 years old. The PE teacher told me he and a gang of two other boys stripped a fat boy to his underwear and pushed him into the mud, then walked away la...

A.   24 March 2007: So far you have done well. However a 15 year old kid is rarely going to listen. Like livi said he's going to make un of someone who is going to react. Hopefully your son will be pushed in the mud right back. And maybe if you have any portly ... (read in full...)

My health is at risk! Please help!

Q. I wrote a question about my girlfriend who has an off putting fishy smelling vagina. Ok well I asked if it was normal to smell like that and I have done my reasearch an...

A.   23 March 2007: Maybe find a pamphlet or print out the symptoms and leave them somewhere she can find them w/o knowing it was you who left them. And hopefully she will deal with it herself. I think i would die if the guy i was seeing for only 2 weeks said something ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend never wants to mess around any more, this other girl I know does... what do I do?

Q.   well me and my gf have been dating for a few months. everything was goin great. but latley she never wants to mess around. and last night this girl that is kinda a friend started txting me outta now where. we were just talkin then all of a sudden ...

A.   12 March 2007: If you've only been dating a few months then how long have you gone without any? Control yourself. If your already thinking with your 'little head' than maybe its time to move on and find another person. Break it off with your GF before it gets to ... (read in full...)

He says he loves this other girl so why is he keeping in contact with me all the time?

Q.   i was with this guy for just over 2years and things were fine between us but last september he met somebody else whos only just 16 and hes almost 21, and he sais he loves her but all hes doing is asking to meet me and keeping on talkin to me and ...

A.   12 March 2007: i agree with cd206. It definitely sounds like he has you waiting in the wings while having his fun with someone else...and if things go sour well there you are. And it will continue to happen... I've seen many friends in this situation and been in ... (read in full...)

How do I tell him I'm still a virgin at 21?

Q.   Here is my problem. I'm a 21 year old virgin. The fact i've remained so is a mystery even to me. Mostly it's because I never let guys get beyond the first few dates, I go out and lose interest. But my biggest problem is that all my friends and even ...

A.   11 March 2007: 21 really isnt that old for being a virgin. I think its officially 'normal' until your maybe 28-30. But call me crazy. Why don't you just tell your friends and family? Why are you treating this like a bad thing? Be proud of it chica! Definitely do ... (read in full...)

Am I obsessive??

Q.   My friends think I have a mild form of Obsessive Compulisive Disorder (OCD) but i dont think i do so i thought i would see what you guys think. when i leave my house, i will constantly check that i have got everything i need (phone, keys, makeup e...

A.   4 March 2007: Well, it is quite possible it is the beginnings of it. I've worked with people with OCD and you just have a mild case... most people do actually... some people live there whole life with it and it never really goes beyond 'double checking to see if ... (read in full...)

Is this normal behaviour for a girl??

Q.   So i've been dating this girl for four months. Everything is great and i think i'm falling in love with her. It's very complicated because she was dating my friend before we ended up getting together, and we also work together. So i kinda jumped ...

A.   4 March 2007: So your gf left your friend to be with you? Of course your insecure, because if she does it once she is capable of it again. But you got into the relationship knowing she is like this so you have to make a choice. Accept it or move on. I know its ... (read in full...)

I don't love my wife and I am having an affair but do I stay for my children?

Q.   Do I stay for the children? I have been through 7 months of hell. I am married and have been for 5 years. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Problem is that i dont love my wife. I am in love with another married woman who is 7 years older than...

A.   4 March 2007: As far as divorce the sooner the better. Because you are still in a relatively new relationship and things are already this rocky Your kids are only 3 and 1... as a prodeuct of divorce myself i would suggest leaving if you truly feel you don't want ... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...

Q.   Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...

A.   4 March 2007: I think this site is so incredible. Being a Psychology grad, (still getting my masters though) it's absolutely helped me in my 'real-life sessions' with clientele during my internship. I love seeing different opinions on the same issue. And being an ... (read in full...)

She's been down so I am giving her space until she wants to I doing the right thing?

Q.   My girlfriend has been feeling down for about a week and a half. I try to talk to her about it but she doesn't want to talk. She's fine around my friends and sometimes pulls out of the mood and is happy for a little bit when no one is around. I ...

A.   5 February 2007: Well make sure that she knows you care for her, and that you will be there (which it looks as though you've done) and when shes ready hopefully she'll come to you and get out of her mood... as CD206 said TOP MARKS on the bf meter!... (read in full...)

My long-distance girlfriend has a problem with my use of porn!

Q.   Dear Cupid my long-distance girlfriend of 18 months has a serious issue with my use of porn. I only use it when I am away as a visual aid. When i'm in town we have great sex daily and i am happy with her body. I have a high sex drive and i wi...

A.   5 February 2007: I dont think it's so bad if your in a long-distance relationship... But there may be a way to apease the situation. Ask her to take sexy pictures of herself... or the next time you visit take some of her in sexy lingerie or whatever your into... ... (read in full...)

We spend so much time together that conversations get boring! What can we do?

Q.   i have been with my current boyfriend for 2 and a half years. i love him to pieces, but because i spend all my time with him, (which i love!) we never have anything to talk about apart from work (which gets boring after a while). can anybody help?...

A.   5 February 2007: Try taking a day or two a week and spending with your friends whilst he spends time with his... Even if it's movies and dinner, or going shopping... it's something to talk about later on when you guys spend time together. Also when you are with him ... (read in full...)

How do I draw the hair on my girlfriend's face to her attention, sensitively?

Q.   I would like some imput on the best way to go about asking my girlfriend to remove some hair on her face. I know its not a huge deal and its natural, but this is the only flaw she has. The more i think about it, the more im drawn to look at it ...

A.   10 January 2007: I agree with Joanna... has she got a really good girl friend that you can possibly rely on to tell her this in a way that wont at all come back to you? It all depends on how long you have been dating as well but maybe this may seem cruel but make a ... (read in full...)

My bf of 5 months and I get into arguments. Is it really my doing or is he being insensitive?

Q.   I am dating this guy whom I love alot. Ive only been dating him 5 months and we are already fighting. I honestly think its me who is starting all the arguments. Maybe its because of my insecurities of my last relationship thats making me scared that ...

A.   10 January 2007: Don't let baggage from the past ruin your future... thats the worst injustice you can do to yourself. I know you were probably worried when he didn't call, but lots of guys don't even bother calling... maybe let him know in a sweet way such as ... (read in full...)

I want to have my first child when I reach 17...any advice?

Q.   hi im 16 nearly 17 years old, im not in a relationship at the moment but would really love to have my first child at 17 just wanted some advice please..........

A.   17 December 2006: I would have to say first off that when you are truly ready for a baby emotionally, you'll do everything possible to be financially stable as well. Babies cost a lot of money... if they are to be properly taken care of anyway. They run through ... (read in full...)

Do teen girl masturbate as often as teen boys?

Q.   hi, do teenage girls masturbate as often as teenage boys?...

A.   22 November 2006: No. It may be the case for some girls, but im pretty sure the statistics are not the same. I think 99/100 boys masturbate... whereas about half that in girls and probably not as often. I think as a teenager i tried (by myself) twice in the whole ... (read in full...)

I am female and over six foot tall! I'm insecure about it. Tell me-- Do men find tall women attractive?

Q.   This is a stupid question, but I am very insecure as I am so tall. I am six foot and tower over people, especially when I wear heels. I am very slim and used to be a model so everyone thinks I am so confident, but the truth is I hate it so much. I ...

A.   22 November 2006: Too each his own really. Men love a variety of women. Being tall is fine, being short is fine... that fact is most women aren't 6 feet tall so people will stare...but not in a bad way. Maybe try making your inner dialouge a little more positive. ... (read in full...)

He admits he doesn't love me and it's been a year? Do I stay or go?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year. Whilst he behaves in a loving manner and is respectful and caring, he never tells me he loves me, in fact he tells me he doesn't. Should I accept this at face value and leave, or could it be self ...

A.   22 November 2006: You've already been a little patient with's been a year... If for some reason he is guarding himself, it's not up to you to help him. He obviously needs to work on himself. I wouldn't waste any more of your time. If he hasn't broken down ... (read in full...)

There's an age gap. Is it going to matter? I really like him...

Q.   I met this guy a couple months ago and he's 24. I'm only 18 but I really like him. He wants to hang out again. I've only met him once..I'm scared..and don't know what to do. ...

A.   22 November 2006: Age is but a number deary... but as stated before on this site its usually a 'stage gap' If you 2 are in the same stage in life, (which most likely you are when your 18 and 24) then there shouldn't be a problem. What makes you scared to meet this ... (read in full...)

Is there a place where I can get free counselling...I live in London (UK).

Q.   I have posted a lot times on the site about my relationship insecurities and had so much help. Everyone has suggested I seek counselling to help me properly - but have no idea how to go about this!! The big problem is that I cant afford to pay ...

A.   21 November 2006: Most big cities offer free or cheap counseling to people with low income. Here is a website: I just got it from googling it. Also at lots of Uni's they have peer counseling... even if you go to a junior college ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend played both me and his ex... now she might be pregnant! How do I deal with this?

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been together for 8 years. we have a 4 yr old daughter together. I have an older son. over the last 2 months he has had a 1 night stand and started seeing his ex girlfriend. his ex has 3 kids and one of them and my son are or ...

A.   19 November 2006: No they cannot be friends... to bad for him if he wants to be with you and wants you to stick around then he cant befriend someone who he cheated on you with. Put your foot down! I'm sorry to say this but he is totally going to do it again. It seems ... (read in full...)

I find some females attractive...does that make me bi-curious?

Q.   i think i find some girls good looking (attractive) am i bi ? or bi curious or ?...

A.   18 November 2006: Can you see yourself being with them in a relationship ir sexually? You can find someone attractive, but have no intention of ever being with them. That doesn't make you bi, it just means you like to look at pretty things (male or female) It's ... (read in full...)

Due to grief and heart seems empty! What should I do?

Q.   My mom died four months ago, and the more time passes by, the more upset I feel. Also, my dad died four years prior to her. I've tried grief counseling, but that didn't seem to help at all, plus there are very few people I can talk to, and I don't ...

A.   17 November 2006: I'm very sorry this has happened to you sweetie. I know this is rough, and maybe that grief counselor or that atmosphere didn't work for you. Sometimes if you are in a different setting such as one on one or a group it can improve things... it just ... (read in full...)

My guinea pig is like a family member; the vet says he will pass away soon. How do I cope?

Q.   I know this sounds really stupid but basically I have this 6 year old guinea pig and it sounds really daft but I am really close to him and the vet said he won't make it throuh the winter. I'm so upset and I know a lot of people will probably scoff ...

A.   16 November 2006: It's not stupid at all. I have lost pets, one being my childhood friend... i had adopted him when i was 3 and he died when i was basically he was there my whole life. I was devastated and cofused, and really hurt. It's been 2 years now and ... (read in full...)

He fingered me with sperm on his hand - now my period is late and I feel bloated!

Q.   my boyfriend fingered me about two months ago and he may have had sperm on his finger whilst doing it. i havent had my period since and its never usually late and my tummy is bloated. could i be pregnant?...

A.   16 November 2006: sperm does not die the second it is outside.... that is completely untrue... sorry to say but it is very possible you are pregnant. why didn't he wash his hands off? Usually outside it lasts 2-3 hours so the anon post is dead wrong! Stres... (read in full...)

I insulted her figure during an argument! How should I apologize to my gf?

Q.   My girlfriend and I are the quintessential right brain/left brain couple. I was a Math major in college, while she majored in English literature. She's very good in the spoken/written word, while I'm more of a numbers guy. Well, a few days ago we ...

A.   16 November 2006: Honestly if you can beg, grovel, kiss her feet. Woen don't get over things like that... At least any that i know of including myself... my ex once said I had a weird shaped nose, and i was always self concious about it after that. When he would go ... (read in full...)

I feel we've grown apart - should I leave my husband?

Q.   I Love my Husband but am not In love with him. I have been with my husband for 18 years ( he was my first relationship), until recently i thought we had the perfect marriage 2 children , nice home etc. Then i met someone at work who i am very att...

A.   16 November 2006: Part od the problem is you've only recently told him how you feel. So for nearly 18 years he thought everything was fine, so how do you expect him to change so fast, and without warning. Are you willing to try and fix it? If you are bored tell him ... (read in full...)

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