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We broke up because he was obsessed with women

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 October 2017)
A female United States age 51-59, *illette writes:

Looking for some feedback, especially the guys out there, interested in your take on this. My relationship has very recently ended and was a long time coming,This man made me feel uncomfortable, disrespected, less than and so much more. The worst part was always his total obsession with woman, always, always the woman on TV, not a single show we watched did we ever get through without some comment on the woman, even the news ladies, how hot they look, those two are gonna hookup, I'm leaving out the sexually explicit comments that followed, it just never ended, made me feel very uncomfortable, he knew that but never stopped, I was the one with the problem, jealous, blah, blah, blah, was I over reacting or does anyone else think that this is totally crazy?

View related questions: broke up, jealous

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2017):

He's doing this shit to make you feel insecure and also it means your paying him attention, he probably is jealous about you looking at the other men on the TV, even though you don't make any comments he probably thinks you are doing that.

So he is making you feel the insecure one instead when really it's him with the problem.

You won't get anywhere with a man like this as they are controlling, pathetic and immature and he will just make you out to be the problem when all along its him. Just get rid asap and you will start feeling better!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 October 2017):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou didn't say how long you put up with this ridiculous behavior but one evening of TV viewing would have been enough for me. You are definitely going in the right direction and leave him in your dust. Your life and future just got brighter.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (11 October 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Over reacting...You didn't react fast enough over his stupidity. Surprise you didn't shove his head through the TV.

Let him go make sweet love to the TV.

You cannot have the right guy in your life, while keeping the wrong one around.

Happy man hunting :)

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (11 October 2017):

N91 agony auntAs a male I wouldn't even think to make such comments to a partner.

Extremely odd behaviour, be lucky you're free from him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntNope, I don't think you overreacted - I think his behavior is gross.

Now, MOST people with SOME social skills know to not do these kinds of things. IF he is your age (in his 50's-60's) I would definitely say he is WAY WAY too old for that kind of immature behavior and should KNOW better.

He might feel it's akin to "locker room" talk - but he is not in a locker room full of men, he is sitting there watching TV with you, his Partner....

Cut all contact, you can do better than some sleazy creep old dude.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2017):

I know you would like some men to weigh in, (I'm sure they will), but it helps to have a few women back you up. I would be a bit hurt, but as Ciar says, mostly I would be totally turned off. You are not over-reacting or crazy. What he has been doing is disrespectful, tacky and yes, just plain creepy. I'm glad you're no longer with him.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (10 October 2017):

Ciar agony auntIt's very immature and frankly, creepy. At any age.

For your own peace of mind, I would not view this as a reflection of your value but of his. In your shoes this behaviour would not have hurt me but turned me off him.

He sounds like a man who is so hungry for sex because he could never get any. A failure with women...know what I mean?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2017):

Every person is different to the level they outwardly appreciate the opposite (or same) sex. I’m sure you’ve heard it’s normal for people to find others attractive.

There IS a line between respectful and disrespectful, however. And this is where you’re entitled to draw the line. If you aren’t comfortable with it and he doesn’t understand, then thank goodness the relationship ended. Not everyone goes to that extreme and you can find someone who isn’t so vocal.

Me personally, the level he went to is a total turn off and I wouldn’t put up with that. I wouldn't try to change him, I would just leave.

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