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| | Boonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming guargantuan quantities of omega three and food in general, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have calmed my use to reasonable levels, have had problems with alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines (particularly bad), ritalin and cannabis but presently only consume coffee to excess.
i am single and retract from situations where a relationship could occur as the only one i had triggered a manic episode (where i treated someone badly, which i regret) and i feel that it is not worth the risk until the person has been known a while in order for me to trust them.
I am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself and spend hardly any time in the "ghetto's" (for want of a better word) of gay clubs and bars. Being ripped off financially in an atmosphere of self loathing, false confidence and cattlemarket incestuous scenester bonkage doesn't appeal and i want to see the wider world and associate with people primarily based on instinct and attraction rather than position in society.
I love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (thought they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i live in the south east but thats all your getting folllkkkkkkks! |
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Am I being used by my girlfriend and her mother?
Q. Hi everyone I will try and keep this brief. I am 20 and my girlfriend is 18, we have been going out for about 6 months now and in that time we have never been anywhere without her mother, I stay at her house 7 nights a week and I feel like I am ...
A. 30 September 2009: these selfish women are using you. your own parents can see it. now she wants money off you as well as talking badly to you. dump this useless pair. you are not in the wrong (though i'm sure the way she see's it everyone is wrong but her)and you ... (read in full...)
Is his cannabis really any worse than me having the occasional fag socially on a night out?
Q. Hi - really just looking for some opinions and advice. I've recently got back with my high school sweetheart after 5 years apart and everythin is gonig really well, however I've recently learned that he smoke cannais maybe once every one to two ...
A. 3 September 2009: as for the below post by uncle phil, have you got any first hand experience of cannabis besides tv adverts? most people who go loopy off cannabis either had an underlying mental disorder or smoked stupid amounts all the time, bearing in mind that ... (read in full...)
Is his cannabis really any worse than me having the occasional fag socially on a night out?
Q. Hi - really just looking for some opinions and advice. I've recently got back with my high school sweetheart after 5 years apart and everythin is gonig really well, however I've recently learned that he smoke cannais maybe once every one to two ...
A. 3 September 2009: i've done a lot of drugs and cannabis when used moderately and only a couple of times a week is far less harmfull than alcohol consumption. no-one has died from cannabis poisoning yet alcohol kills through liver cirrhosis and accidents due to loss ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not want me to go out or have any friends, he is insecure, what can I do?
Q. My boyfriend probably wants us to break up as he can't handle the fact that I now have a small social life. I am gutted and can't believe this reaction after five years together. I had been unwell and a bit of a loner for the start of our rel...
A. 31 August 2009: this is ridiculous, just go out and have friends. people who want to own you dont care about you, only what needs of theirs you can serve and threats are used to keep their needs fed. you need to do what you want and have a life = simple. if he ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 26 August 2009: the fact of the matter is that you dont like the idea that she could have sex with someone and not get emotionally attached as you might think she will fake emotions with you and move on to the next when something better comes along. at the same ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 26 August 2009: the fact of the matter is that you dont like the idea that she could have sex with someone and not get emotionally attached as you might think she will fake emotions with you and move on to the next when something better comes along. at the same ... (read in full...)
I've gone off women and I'm only having sexual thoughts about men!
Q. I've gone off women. I'm not sure whether I've just 'come into my sexuality' or not but recently, I've gone completely off women and on to men. Sexual thoughts about men started for me a long time ago but only in the background and I pursued va...
A. 26 August 2009: as the other answer below said, dont restrict yourself, be open to opportunities and explore what you think you might like to find out what you want...... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 25 August 2009: dont retract from society, this man is controlling you and tring to limit your life. if he cared about you he would not be tring to own you and control your movements. does any of this make you happy? personally i would retract from him and see how ... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 24 August 2009: part of being in a relationship is listening and while you are trying to give him good advice he isn't listening. he needs to listen to what you are saying (currently all he cares about is how he feels). taking on board what other people are saying ... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 23 August 2009: controlling behaviour by your boyfriend is making you unhappy and he is blaming you for situations he is engineering. his insecurity is sign of lacking trust. why does he lack trust. you should be able to do what you want freely and he should accept ... (read in full...)
My BF likes to kiss other people.
Q. My boyfriend is great we get along great but he's a heavy drinker (not an alcoholic). We've been dating for 7 months. He's a forgetful person, even more so when he drinks. He really lets lose and has fun when he's drunk but sometimes does things ...
A. 11 August 2009: i dont think your being difficult, it seems like he loses control of his behaviour when he is drunk. you have to think about how this affects your self esteem. if he he cant stop kissing random people when drunk what else is he doing that he's not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is always sad and I can't seem to make her happy!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for just over 2 years now and I am really happy with her but it seems thats my girlfriend is always sad or depressed about one thing or another. She's expressed the desire to be married a bunch of times and we've ...
A. 11 August 2009: sounds to me like your girlfriend is depressed and has made no attempt to look into it. if she only ever puts negative information your way how are you meant to be happy? the point is that when you try to look objectively at things she doesn't want ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my best friend... how do I get past the friend zone?
Q. Hi, I am a 14 year old girl and I am bisexual. My best friend is also bisexual. We recently came out and told each other that we like each other alot. She says she thinks i could be the one.. and i think the same thing about her. She just broke up ...
A. 10 August 2009: well all good relationships are based around a form of friendship, but she needs time for the last relationship to move on. unless she was over it long before it finished. stay as her good friend and keep and eye on anyone trying to gain her ... (read in full...)
Am I bi? Should I just decide one or the other?
Q. Hi again. Ok, so these last few days have been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. I've now fallen out of love with a guy i've longed after for years, and i'm kinda happy about it! I've told a friend i'm a bit confused about my orientation, and ...
A. 28 July 2009: if you fancy both sexes then keep your options open cos you have no idea who you might fall for, but if you are simply saying you are bi so that if people react badly to the fancying men you can pretend it was a phase then that is also not the best ... (read in full...)
We rarely have sex and it's been this way since day one. What should I do?
Q. My problem is my boyfriend, ever since we've started dating he hasn't been interested in sex. We're lucky if we do it once every 2 or 3 months. We've been together for almost 3 years now, and this is something I've been trying to resolve with him...
A. 27 July 2009: leave if he wont talk about it. there is a lack of communication and your needs are not being met. dont cheat just leave. you have a friend there NOT a boyfriend. you might spend all your time together but thats what i do with my friends who i dont ... (read in full...)
I've got hair growing on my bottom!
Q. ok this is quite embarrassing but im sure its normal. but i have har growing on my bottom and i saw my bottom in the mirror the other day when i got out of the shower and it really looked freaky. i was just wondering what should i do about it? ...
A. 27 July 2009: avoid shaving, as stuble is not comfortable (trust the voice of experience here). get over it, not only is it common how often do you have to look at your arse (in other words you have a choice). waxing is a bit weird although trendy (yet again ... (read in full...)
What does being someones pigeon mean?
Q. Would like to know what this phrase means. What does being someone's "pigeon" mean?...
A. 20 July 2009: i would hazzard a guess its a disrespectfull term for women (as birds and chicks are also female based terms). no-one likes the pigeon animal much anyway as its unnattractive, spreads diseases and there are far too many of them. they are often seen ... (read in full...)
Is there still a chance that we can be friends again?
Q. ok, well like new ppl im not sure how to start off. But im 17 and bi, recently i jus told one of my closest male friend that i liked him, i felt that he was that way because we were pretty much close and would tell me personal things and that he ...
A. 18 July 2009: its up to you to talk to him as he hasn't had a problem, the person who's behaviour changed was you but he has gone along with it and as a result the one who can mend this friendship is you. you haven't destroyed anything and if the friendship was a ... (read in full...)
Its always about her and what she wants
Q. Hey all, I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend of about 9 months. My problem is that I get the feeling that it's always about her and what she wants. To give an example, on Sundays, I go to church with her like she wants; and then I go out...
A. 11 July 2009: this stems from her insecurity. she probably has issues with people leaving her and abandonment. if you know that this is going to cause you unhappiness long term and that although people say they will change its often difficult for them to do so, ... (read in full...)
I'd like to hear from lads who've actually received this kind of sex.
Q. I'm a gay lad and my new boyfriend has offered to give me anal intercouse. I've never experienced it but would like see what it feels like. I've read all about it and know it can be extremely pleasurable. My boyfriend says he can give me a ...
A. 3 July 2009: it can be good, but you need lots of lubrication and go slowly. you may have to stimulate your penis while you are being penetrated in the early stages as this allows the pain to turn into sexual feelings. it does hurt but the orgasms you get from ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden I'm fantasizing about having sex and babies!
Q. Why do I feel this way? All my life I hated the idea of having children and saw babies as messy, noisy and annoying little humans and now all of a sudden it's all changed and when I see a guy I am really attracted to (not 'love' but just a crush) I...
A. 1 July 2009: its human nature, just dont let your feelings dictate your behaviour. be logical-at your age your unprepared to deal with a baby and the likelihood of a father your age staying around is low, a baby would rob you of your youth.
a much better i... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend dump me as he was scared of commitment?
Q. Did my bf dump me as he was scared of commitment? We'd been together for nearly 3 years and in that time things were mostly great but every now and then he'd bottle it and question whether or not we wanted the same thing. I wanted the wedding, the ...
A. 29 June 2009: butterflies in the stomach will not last forever, its an excitement thing and stable relationships wont always be exciting 100% of the time. anyone looking for excitement will not have it all the time no matter where they look.
if he lost the attr... (read in full...)
It feels like we're incompatible, he doesn't show any affection anymore. Should I stay or go?
Q. Ok, im a guy and im Bi. Im 27. I met my boyfriend who is very closeted eight months ago and he is 21 and very nice and intelligent but immature. I came out of the closet for him and I changed my entire life. He has made almost no changes for me. ...
A. 29 June 2009: this is not a relationship any more, you dont want to have sex with strangers yet he encourages this even though you dont like it. it seems like everything is on his terms. i would end it as you are being treated badly, share nothing in common and ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me make sense of this behaviour?
Q. Hi, I'm hoping for some advice/support. I'm very upset about comments that my partner makes. I've been with him for 4.5 years and gave him loads of support when his ex wife was divorcing him. I live in a council house, have two mixed race c...
A. 24 June 2009: he feeds off your self esteem. you been together 4.5 years but something in you tells you that he is not right for you to live with. his behaviour is that of a bully.
he sounds like a person who will behave in a way that over time will erode yo... (read in full...)
Scared about meeting my guy's friends!
Q. So tomorrow I'll be meeting my boyfriends roomates for the first time. He lives with his best friend of 10 years and his fiance, so it's a little more important than just meeting his friends for the first time, more like family. I'm completely...
A. 23 June 2009: relax and go there with the attitude that you dont care what people think of you but that you are going to be ploite, relax and laugh at what you want to.
dont worry, i'm sure it will be fine. your just attaching unnecessary importance to what is ... (read in full...)
Losing love but stuck living with him.
Q. He started beating into me when we were living at my dads mainly when dad wasnt home, because things just weren't going his way. My dads rule and only rule was its his house what ever he says goes. I understood that and respected that but he didnt. ...
A. 23 June 2009: sorry is not something that people say after doing something bad to get away with it to do it again. it seems this is his tactic
he doesn't respect you or anyone else. this is a bad sign longterm if you think he will change. he acts like a naught... (read in full...)
I don't know why my boyfriend dumped me!
Q. Hi. I really really really need advice. I am so confused and hurt:( My boyfriend and I were together for six months, and it was such an amazing relationship..I genuinely cannot put it into words properly. We met in college and after a while it got ...
A. 22 June 2009: if he really loved you he would not have been able to express it that quick and lose it that fast. it sounds to me like the pair of you were "in love", but that it has faded.
he probably still has feelings for you but they might not be as strong a... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 13 June 2009: see how it works before you congrantulate me and also it helps to have a willy to know how to please one.... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 13 June 2009: uncircumcised the "banjo string" joining helmet to penis shaft feels very good when the tongue slides down it (from just below pee hole down the shaft and the area just below, so if you can roll the foreskin upwards and gently stroke your tongue in ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but have butterflies over another boy
Q. Heyy aunt's and uncles. I feel so bad, and i havent even done anything. I need major advice. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. Im only 16, and hes 17, but where in the same year in school, as ill be 17 in july! He arranged a sup...
A. 12 June 2009: Two thing bother me about this-
:he took your passport? i would not be happy if someone took my passport. you can check that its in date and valid without taking it away from a person (if he was planning to give it to you at the airport without ... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 12 June 2009: you are in america? so is he circumcised or not?
this is important as what will work on one type night not work for the other.
i have specialist techniques... (read in full...)
Should I stay in a marriage that makes me unhappy for the sake of the kids???
Q. So i have been married for 7 years now and, I am finding that everyday i am falling more and more out of love with my spouse. we have 2 beautiful boys together and hate the idea that they may see us not getting along or fighting. My biggest fear is ...
A. 12 June 2009: she wil be able to divorce you on the grounds of your "unreasonable behaviour". also, you say you hate " the idea" of you and your wife fighting-i think the big problem here is that there is no real communication in your marriage.
go to relate a... (read in full...)
Can you suggest if it is fine to trust this Turkish man and go ahead and marry him?
Q. Are Turkish men trustworthy? I am an indian girl sharing a relationship with a 34 year old turkish man who came to india on official purpose (for a period of one year). We met and he expressed his love for me. We have been seeing each other for a...
A. 12 June 2009: go to turkey but dont marry him just yet, see how he treats you within his own culture and within his family. if he loves you he will have patience.
uprooting yourself and removing yourself from everything you know (all your social/p... (read in full...)
If I forgive my ex and take him back, my parents will hate me! Help!
Q. Hi everyone, ok I don't know what to do. I broke up with my bf of almost 3yrs. about a month ago. He liked to "joke" but I called it verbal abuse because I didn't like being called fatty or stupid. He has a temper but has never hit me, he punches ...
A. 11 June 2009: people dont change they just get good at convincing others that they will, that way they can use them in the mean time.
this boy sounds rubbish and not truthful... (read in full...)
Six months is long time for him to be gone. I'm making myself ill just worrying about it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. i am 20 and he is 22. we have a very good relationship, we enjoy each others company and make each other very happy. however there is one problem... at the end of this year he is thinking of going...
A. 11 June 2009: hello, i had this myself when my best friend went away for 6 months. its not so bad, well to be fair it is but only some of the time and most of the time i just kept busy.
maybe he is testing you to see if you are in this for the long haul or ... (read in full...)
Question about morals in today's world!
Q. Hi. Would I be right in saying that if a man and a woman fancy each other and are exposed to each other for sustained periods of time (i.e. months/years at work) then basically they are going to sleep together regardless of whether or not one or ...
A. 11 June 2009: thinking that there is no choice involved in the process of multiple humans engaging in behaviour is very stupid.
let me guess, this attitude stems from a fatalistic idea that we have everything mapped out according to anothers plan and that bad... (read in full...)
Why did she show me a photo of her and her boyfriend kissing?
Q. I recently talked to my ex on facebook and she showed me a picture of her kissing her new boyfriend. Why did she do that ? It's not necessary and she knew it all along that would hurt me. I'm over her I think but I'm jealous that she has a new ...
A. 11 June 2009: she wants you to want her and know you cannot have her. to make yourself happy cease contact as this girl is a tease...... (read in full...)
My husband demands oral sex every morning to relieve stress, creating for me, what can I do?
Q. My husband demands I suck his dick every morning but I dont want to. I am over 50 and cant support myself and remaining kids in house. If I dont, he menaces me. I am sure it is not right for him to demand I blow him each morning, but he feels it ...
A. 4 June 2009: hello demanding that you get a blowjob is not rape.
it is rude and ignorant.
by the logic espoused by a respondent below if i shouted " i want sex" at someone then that equates to holding them down and forcing them into penetration.
dem... (read in full...)
I'm bi and in love with my best friends boyfriend
Q. hi im bi (i think) im in love with my best friend boyfriend he gives me this wierd mixed feeling and i feel uncomftable on monday he was allover me and on tueasday he was soo distance hes just soo weird around me but when i se himm make out with my ...
A. 4 June 2009: what about this question involves bisexuality? pretty much nothing- maybe you get more answers by getting something into an area with less questions even if it isn't relevant to that particular area?
you are a girl and your friends boyfrien... (read in full...)
Why do I question being with him?
Q. Im so confused, im 22 been with my boyfriend 4 years, hes great, always there for me so romantic, loving caring, good job good morals, but ive broken up with him 3 times before as i wanted to play the field as i got with him so young and he was my ...
A. 4 June 2009: you have a good thing but maybe because you got with him so young that it will always feel like you have missed out. if someone is right for you although you will get doubts you wont repeatedly dump him( that shows you dont have enough repect for ... (read in full...)
My husband demands oral sex every morning to relieve stress, creating for me, what can I do?
Q. My husband demands I suck his dick every morning but I dont want to. I am over 50 and cant support myself and remaining kids in house. If I dont, he menaces me. I am sure it is not right for him to demand I blow him each morning, but he feels it ...
A. 2 June 2009: when do you recieve your oral sex from him? is it morning or evening?
i love oral sex more than my own face, and by god do i love my face. it makes a person feel good and should be a special treat on offer to reward good behaviour, not breakfas... (read in full...)
My husband demands oral sex every morning to relieve stress, creating for me, what can I do?
Q. My husband demands I suck his dick every morning but I dont want to. I am over 50 and cant support myself and remaining kids in house. If I dont, he menaces me. I am sure it is not right for him to demand I blow him each morning, but he feels it ...
A. 2 June 2009: when do you recieve your oral sex from him? is it morning or evening?
i love oral sex more than my own face, and by god do i love my face. it makes a person feel good and should be a special treat on offer to reward good behaviour, not breakfas... (read in full...)
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