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| | Boonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming guargantuan quantities of omega three and food in general, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have calmed my use to reasonable levels, have had problems with alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines (particularly bad), ritalin and cannabis but presently only consume coffee to excess.
i am single and retract from situations where a relationship could occur as the only one i had triggered a manic episode (where i treated someone badly, which i regret) and i feel that it is not worth the risk until the person has been known a while in order for me to trust them.
I am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself and spend hardly any time in the "ghetto's" (for want of a better word) of gay clubs and bars. Being ripped off financially in an atmosphere of self loathing, false confidence and cattlemarket incestuous scenester bonkage doesn't appeal and i want to see the wider world and associate with people primarily based on instinct and attraction rather than position in society.
I love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (thought they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i live in the south east but thats all your getting folllkkkkkkks! |
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There's ranting and there's ranting, but his ranting is a little too much! I've had my rant, now it's your turn!!!
Q. I've been married to my new husband for 6 weeks now. When we first met, he was kind, loving and caring towards me - but now he's changed. At the wedding he ranted about everything - and about everyone at the wedding and in the wedding speech. ...
A. 10 May 2008: how long were you together before marriage?
long enough to know that this is a change from his real character (over a year or two)/ short enough for him to hide this bahviour and divert all the rants onto anyone else but you?
he sounds lik... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is falling into drugs again, what should I do? I need help desperately.
Q. This question seems so simple to answer from an outside perspective but for me it has been tearing me apart for months. My boyfriend and first real love is a drug addict. Since we first met he has had a problem with controlled substances,(benzos, ...
A. 7 May 2008: he needs to go to a doctor/psychiatrist and get counselling for his emtional issues from the past. If he likes to feel numb then antidepressants may help deal with his unwanted emotions.
drugs and their abuse are a poor form of coping mechanis... (read in full...)
Pros and Cons....is he worth it? He's changed a few things, will he change them all?
Q. My boyfriend, 30: Pros: Buys me flowers. Cooks dinners time to time. Helps clean house, dishes, tends the yard. Tells me I'm beautiful almost every day and that he loves me. Always calls me. Wants marriage, babies, the works with me. Good looking...
A. 7 May 2008: two nights a month does not in my mind constitute an addiction to coke-its a big waste of money and has law risk issues but in reality that is just a habit or choice of behaviour pattern.
the idea that addictions of any kind are unsolvab... (read in full...)
He says he can't handle my past, and he doesn't wanna lose me. He says I have to help him overcome this. My question is, how?
Q. Hello, I've been posting about my boyfriend not being able to cope with my past. Recently, he had broken up with me, today we got back together. Please, help me help him. When I went to talk with him today, at first, he didn't wanna see me. H...
A. 7 May 2008: if he is incapable of trust, and trust is the fundamental basis of a relationship, then he is incapable of forming a normal relationship.
if anyone is doing the dumping for the sake of their future wellbeing it should be you dumping him as this ... (read in full...)
He likes me, but doesn't want his family/friends to know he likes fat girls?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 6 months now and he doesn't want to introduce me to his friends or family. When I asked him why I havent met his family yet he said it is because I'm fat and he's not sure if they would approve. I've been ignoring him ...
A. 7 May 2008: people sometimes hide a girlfriend because they already have one...... (read in full...)
My friend's girlfriend is wrecking our friendship
Q. My friend has recently got a new girl friend. I think this is great, really I'm pleased for him. However, we are also good friends, and I enjoy our alone time where I can discuss things that I - perhaps - wouldn't feel comfortable talking about with ...
A. 4 May 2008: does this girl lack friends of her own and presume that a new boyfriend equals a set of new friends?
third wheel is boring and i would tell your mate that this is not what you want to play. he may enjoy rubbing his relationship in your face, if... (read in full...)
My friend's girlfriend is wrecking our friendship
Q. My friend has recently got a new girl friend. I think this is great, really I'm pleased for him. However, we are also good friends, and I enjoy our alone time where I can discuss things that I - perhaps - wouldn't feel comfortable talking about with ...
A. 4 May 2008: does this girl lack friends of her own and presume that a new boyfriend equals a set of new friends?
third wheel is boring and i would tell your mate that this is not what you want to play. he may enjoy rubbing his relationship in your face, if... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my nervousness when I talk to girls?
Q. I'm 19 year old guy, i have real trouble asking girls out or even making a move and talking to them. I'm not insecure about my looks, i'm kinda nervous about akward silences or something, how can i get over it?...
A. 23 April 2008: if there is an awkward silence between two people it is both of them causing the silence. if you run out of things to say then leave the converstation-simple!
if your on a date then talking will prevent kissing if it is used all the time when gap... (read in full...)
Should same sex marriages be legal, in your opinion?
Q. Hey so my question is should Same Sex marriage be legal? I think yes, but I would like to know what you think....
A. 11 April 2008: i am gay and i dont think i would want to get married apart from financial reasons, like home ownership. it has nothing to do with religion and everthing to do with depriving gays of financial benefits and monetary rights considering that they tend ... (read in full...)
My best friend just wont hang out with me, why?
Q. I have a friend that I've known since high school 10th grade. We used to always hang at her house and we've been to the mall ONCE out of our entire friendship. Whenever I call her up and say, "let's hang out or go to a restaurant" she always come...
A. 11 April 2008: do you make every situation about your looks because you consistently bring it up. people find this shallow and boring.
if i was at a wedding with a friend and they spent the whole time chatting up someone and then went of with them i would co... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed by the boys I had sex with...
Q. hi my names nikki and i have a problem with some boys in my school. i'm well known for being a slut at my school which im not proud of but i had sex two weeks ago with three boys from my school and another girl. i was told at the start of the week ...
A. 9 April 2008: get the law involved! if they came up with this to blackmail you then they might not have a tape at the moment but plan on making one next time if you fall for their bluff.
what a manipulative group of shits!
plus if everyone thinks your a sl... (read in full...)
I have a secret gay relationship with my friend, who is bisexual - and in an official relation with a girl. Scared he will eventually choose her over me!
Q. I'm 16, gay, but havent told anyone.. I recently started to get real close with my friend, he is also my age, we go to the same college, we actually havent been friends for that long, only about 3 months, but we actually became like best friend...
A. 8 April 2008: he is playing with you like a toy and i suggest you ask him to end it with her and see what he says. you clearly think that you have no right to be with him-either you fight for what you want or end it but playing around in gay limbo with your ... (read in full...)
I need to change myself or I will destroy this relationship for good!
Q. Hi I know this question has been asked many times, but I still have to ask ... I dont know what to do with myself. I am pretty jealous and I really don't want to be, cause I have the feeling I will destroy the whole relationship if I dont sto...
A. 4 April 2008: this happens because you actively choose to let your feelings control you. when you feel annoyed instead of coping with them ,and accepting that they are not productive, you think "right if only i can push these feelings on my boyfriend i will be ... (read in full...)
Do you think he may be gay??
Q. Hi guys I have a guy friend who is a little more than a friend but he is different than most guys I met. He likes to put lotion all over his body after a shower and keeps his place really clean....he also likes to clean his house and keep everything ...
A. 3 April 2008: your sister sounds shallow to say the least. she may well have an instinct that is accurate based upon subconcious observations, but to explain her judgement as a result of stereotypes is a bit thick.
maybe he is gay, but as for the house clean-
... (read in full...)
I have had post-natal depression and my partner left me, how do I get him back?
Q. i have a 13month son, and have been suffering with postnatal depression. my partner, has left us. saying that we no longer get on as i'm not the same person anymore. how do i get him back ...
A. 3 April 2008: if you cannot trust him to be there for you when you are in need of help then he is of no use in your life at all.
it is difficult to deal with people who have mental health problems but leaving them because you find it is a bit of a bummer i... (read in full...)
Is my fiance gay??
Q. I recently got engaged to a guy I've been dating for 2 years. When we first started dating, a friend of mine mentioned she thought he was gay. I dismissed her, however started paying close attention to his movements (upward little finger, ...
A. 29 March 2008: a gay porn long term burglary sounds implausible, an equally ridiculous idea is that it was a poltergiest in the telly that did it ("carol ann, come into the light")
he has clearly been getting his rocks off to bum bandits 5 and if your going to... (read in full...)
My husband hit me--should we separate?
Q. My husband told me tonight that we should separate. He says if I went away for a year and lost some weight and sorted my pms, out he would reconsider. I am very hurt. Last week he hit me over the head with a glass and caused injury. He says it ...
A. 28 March 2008: if one person glassed another in a pub it would be serious and they could get sent down. this bully has a lack of respect for you. if you had him prosecuted for glassing you and then got a divorce you would rake in his cash like there was no ... (read in full...)
Am I over-analyzing, or headed for heartbreak?
Q. Hi, I am a 26 year young attractive male. I started dating a guy about 2 months ago. I really like him a lot, and think I may even have loving feelings for him. I think that he feels the same way too, we have open communication, and we talk about ...
A. 28 March 2008: maybe you are the rebound which would explain why he jumped into everyday banality with you so quick (too quick for you to believe the sencerity of his intentions), the contact with the ex is not a good thing as you could become a superficially ... (read in full...)
We once had threesomes with my mate does he now like her more than he likes me?
Q. Hi I have been with me boyfriend for 3 years now, that is never a good relationship. He never cuddles me, we would never sit together on the sofa at home and we hardly ever had sex, he spent most of his time in the put as well. About 2years a...
A. 27 March 2008: this is what happens when you crap on your own doorstep...
leave this soiled situation with your child and make new friends and branch out. if a man you cheated on who cheats on you with your friend who doesn't talk to you is all you have then you... (read in full...)
I don't have a boyfriend because I don't like to "party"! Will I be single until I'm 30yrs old?!!
Q. I feel like im a loser and no guy my age will ever like me. I feel like this because ive had two bf's who have had issues with me about being a non drinker and not into partying all weekend, every weekend. My last bf dumped me because of this, he ...
A. 26 March 2008: i gave up drinking myself a couple of months back, although i do take ecstacy but you cant really do that very often (once a month is pushing it a bit too far), and spend a lot of time with people drinking. for the most part its ok for the first few ... (read in full...)
His friends party or me should I make him choose?
Q. Me and my boyfriend live quite far away, and i usually see him every other weekend, i didnt see him last weekend so im supposed to see him this weekend. The problem is is that hes going to his friends birthday,and there going out to bars etc. I c...
A. 25 March 2008: get a life, seriously
if you have nothing to entertain you besides your boyfriend you lead an empty life. try making friends or get a hobby.... (read in full...)
How can I leave my husband with out hurting my kids?
Q. To explain my question I have to give some back ground. I grew up with extreamly over protective parents and was never allowed to date. Two months after I graduated high school I moved out. Two days after I moved out I went on my first date and was ...
A. 25 March 2008: jump ship this man is a parasite and has spread his genes sucessfully and your making it work for him, and he wants you to stay while he spawns more cuckoo's for you to suckle.
its pure darwin nasties... (read in full...)
I want to contact my ex but his bail conditions are not to contact me, can I contact him?
Q. A week ago, my now ex and I had a row which ended up in mild assault against me and serious damage to my car and other possessions. He was arrested and his bail conditions are to not contact me. I don't want him back. But I want to have my say...
A. 25 March 2008: the court might think that you are not taking it seriously, or if he replies he might get put away, do you want this maybe?
why tell him anything, although you may find it a release i can guarantee this will be like pouring petrol on a fire. do... (read in full...)
We are at opposite ends of the social scale and she doesn't like me that way...what can I do??
Q. Ok, I like this girl, I told her, and shes fine with it. We are always talking and we sit with each other in some lessons. But we're from oppsite end of the social scale. Shes popular and, and i'm just in the middle. There's a big difference. ...
A. 24 March 2008: you cannot make someone like you
she may like you as a person not a love interest and if other peoples perceptions of her are why she lacks interst in you then that is not worth fighting against. shallow people cum and go and you're better o... (read in full...)
My partner calls me bad names like "Loser" and "Bitch", how do I deal with it?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, I have been with my partner for 6 yrs now - we do not live together - i live with my children (18 and 22) and he lives with his son (age 19). We have talked about living together at some point, once he has recovered...
A. 24 March 2008: he is a dick and from what i can see there is a consensus here that he is doing you no good.
putting you down is his way of trying keep you, as he himself is the loser and you can see it. you are admirable in your desire to try hard and work for... (read in full...)
Should I say yes to a threesome with boyfriend and his mate?
Q. I have beening dating my current boyfriend for the past 4 years. I love him with all my heart and he loves me too. We are both college students and we attend different universities. We are seperated by amost 13 states. A few months ago he told me ...
A. 24 March 2008: if his fantasy is to have another male (with a female by default also present) and the male he has chosen has a close emotional connection to him and is very attractive maybe the part of the fantasy he desires is his friend (not simply generic ... (read in full...)
Why is my best friend being nasty about a girl I'm interested in?
Q. hi, so i'm 16 and bi-sexual and have known for about 3 years. i have had both sex relatioships, and really enjoy both. i meet this girl who works in the office across the road from me, and she really flirts, a couple of my mates have turned arou...
A. 21 March 2008: your best friend wants you most likely. we tend to feel anger towards the threat in life, if she liked this girl the anger would be directed at you but its at the girl and only you are hearing her anger so its like "hint hint, i like you". ... (read in full...)
I'm a stressed-out mother with a disabled ill-behaved child. Any ideas how to make her behave?
Q. Does anyone have any ideas for a very stressed out mother with a very very hyper 4 year old child(who happens to also have a Disability Spina Bifida w/ a shunt)She also has very strong anger issues. My husband and I took her to a Phsycologist and ...
A. 21 March 2008: labells serve a diagnostic purpose but can cloud the issue. blaming a disorder neatly ignores the fact that people with problems can help their behaviour but you need to be highly consistent with boundaries and have patience.
she is behaving... (read in full...)
I have to either starve or binge, how can I get out of this endless cycle?
Q. heyx i was just wondering if i am normal, and if im not, what can I do to change? Basically, a year ago i was over 10 stone. Then i lost all the weight, and got to 8 stone. I felt happy, and good about myself. But then my cousin stayed over and I sa...
A. 21 March 2008: everyone thinks about food and to do so is normal. but you have gotten into an obsessive pattern of thinking which is unhealthy. you need to develop hobbies and a healthy diet.
binging on chocolate and then restricting your food intake is bad when... (read in full...)
My boyfriend borrowed $2,000 from me last year but when I ask for it back he gets mad! What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid: My boyfriend and I been together for 5 years. I make 3X money of what he does, and that is now, cause before he used to make none 'cause he was in school. Therefore I would pay for a lot of things, like restarant, plane ticket, ca...
A. 21 March 2008: you have been made a tool of and he knows he can talk to you like shit beacuse you wont get you money back if you dont kiss his ass.
he does not respect you
the only difference between you and a mom figure is that he wouldn't have sex with a ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have a weird looking vagina???
Q. I am sure that this has been asked time and time again, but I really worry if my boyfriend is telling the truth about my.... vagina. You see it "sticks out" well the lips do. I tell my boyfriend that I need to get it fixed, but he says it is normal ...
A. 21 March 2008: my vagina looks like jack nicholson in batman!... (read in full...)
My husband has sex with me when I'm asleep....is it rape or "silent sex"?
Q. my husband had sex with me when I was drunk and asleep - I woke up as he pulled out and was climbing off me, cleaning himself up with tissues, I have confronted him and he says he thought I was awake - there is no way he thought I was awake as we ...
A. 21 March 2008: not very much detail to this-cant go accusing people on hardly any evidence. hes your man and you can meter out whatever punishment you want based on your personal (intoxicated) experience.... (read in full...)
A gentle way to break up from my GF who has self-harm tendencies?
Q. I've grown apart from my girlfriend of 15 months and need a very gentle way to break up with her over a period of time. I don't want her to get really upset as she used to self-harm...
A. 21 March 2008: dont be drawn in by manipulative shit about self harm, as this will encourage her to carry out these unhelpfull (possibly attention seeking)practices. state your case and say it is you, that you dont feel the same, that you have grown apart from the ... (read in full...)
Am I seriously insane?
Q. Am I insane? I seriously think I got a mental disorder or something, I can't switch my mind off. theres always something going on in my head, I can't stop thinking, its like theresa voice in my head but im the one saying the words...=S now...
A. 21 March 2008: you are not crazy Though you are clearly quite distressed (all psychotic episodes are mental health problems but all mental health problems are not psychosis)
mental health problems are always triggered by stressors-things in your life that cau... (read in full...)
His dreams are causing problems in our marriage
Q. My Husband of 6 years has been having sexual dreams almost every night,Of course he has a full errection.Several times I have heard him say sexual things out loud while in his sex dream.What really upset me is that he has even called out a females ...
A. 20 March 2008: you cannot control his dreams and to expect him to is unreasonable. sleep apart from each other if this keeps happening and dont pander to his whims as much.... (read in full...)
My partner who is 10 years older treats me like a child! It ruins my day!
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year. Everything is usually fine because my bf is very caring and we love each other. But, one thing really bothers me and it often makes me upset. He is 10 years older than me and it is true that he is ...
A. 19 March 2008: so he doesnt listen to you, tries to control you, wont accept your opinions, tells you you are a child and generally annoys you and makes you feel unhappy.
why are you with this loser?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for drinking to inhibate erections?
Q. Alright so I've got a question here, is it normal to have a hard time getting an erection when you drink? I know it happens a lot when you get smashed, but for me it happens almost instantly. Last night for instance I drank 6 beers, not enoug...
A. 17 March 2008: brewers droop-your question answered... (read in full...)
Got caught masturbating!!!!
Q. I love to masterbate and love porn. I've been in a relationship for 2 year with my girlfriend and things are great but I feel she does not trust me because I masturbate. I tell her it is just a fantasy, I'm being truthful with her, we make love 4 to ...
A. 17 March 2008:
if you want some privacy cover your tracks and do it on your own pc-duh!
snoopy wont change, people are understanding of differences between themselves and others or they are not. if she has a problem with it then dont leave trails for her to f... (read in full...)
He is selfish in the bedroom and doesn't even look at me anymore in public either...help!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a while now,and i always assumed things were great between us.just recently he has become very distant,when we go out he will stand away from me or if i put my arms around him he just keeps his in his pockets he ...
A. 17 March 2008: -in the early stages of a relationship people act out of character to strengthen the links between each other due to hormones and excitement from the novelty factor. when this stage has calmed down you can see how people are naturally.
-he m... (read in full...)
I'm in a "secret" relationship with a female friend, what do you think?
Q. Confused about my sexuality (possibly) question. I've been in one relationship with a female best friend of mine, in total secret, for 1/2 a year. this 'secret' relationship halted when she ended things with me saying that 'it wasn't for her anymore ...
A. 15 March 2008: yeh you were a usefull diversion when the going got rough with her man and she probably strings everyone along. manipulative
i would end this while its on your terms to give her a bad taste of her own medicine and be free from the torment she care... (read in full...)
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