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*illywombat agony aunt

*illywombat

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*illywombat's profile:

Felt like changing this, so here goes.

Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.

Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?

Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......

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We fell so hard for each other but now he avoids me! He doesn't want to get "emotional".

Q.   We met through mutual friends and one day we were at dinner in dining hall and him and i were bred so we decided to go get high together and hang out in his car. So he was really into me for 4 weeks (1 week before spring break, 2 weeks of break ...

A.   17 April 2008: Ok. Ok. This is long and complicated, but to be honest I think it is pretty easy to answer too! You might not like what I have to say but I am going to be brutally honest. Number one - he thinks you are a bad influence and he doesn't want to be '... (read in full...)

Can anybody help with baby names??

Q.   I need some suggestions on baby names. I`m due at the end of the month and its a boy! I want something different but not CRAZY different! HELP!...

A.   6 March 2007: Louis, Patrick, Jordan, Owen, Robert, Richard, Paul, John, Matthew, Edward, Alastair, conor, Brandon, Lee, .... baby book and google, good luck . x... (read in full...)

Would any of you guys out there ever date a girl who has a child?

Q.   Would any of you guys out there ever date a girl who has a child? It's just i was in a bit of a sticky situation and as a result of this am now pregnant. I am a lovely girl and dont want to be lonely for life....

A.   6 March 2007: Men are like women funnily enough, in that some will accept a package deal and some won't. Concentrate on your baby and see how the future pans out.... (read in full...)

I have just found out my husband is texting another woman but he assures me she is a customer and is only asking for advice!

Q.   i have just found out my husband is texting another woman, i have had my suspicions for a few months now, it came to a head the other night, he tells me she is a customer who keeps asking him about gardening as she has just started it up, and he is ...

A.   6 March 2007: Truthfully, I think if he isn't playing away then he is creating the oppotunity for it to happen. Two things you can do here to get to the bottom of it. As Sandy Pop says, put the boot on the other foot. Tell him that you wouldn't be allowed to b... (read in full...)

I've gone off sex and its killing my marriage can you help?

Q.   I've gone off sex and its killing my marriage can you help?...

A.   6 March 2007: That is about the least helpful question I have ever read on here!! C'mon, can you please give us some more information.... (read in full...)

We want to be married and she wants to take my surname hyphenated with hers but she wants ME to do the same! I'm against this. Any advice?

Q.   I've been in a long distance relationship (international actually, I'm British, she's American) for around 9-10 months, we met on the internet, and we love each other with all our hearts, of that I am 100% certain. We have our differences, but ...

A.   6 March 2007: Whoa, this marriage is so not a good idea if the pair of you cannot come to an agreement over something like this as early on in your relationship as this. I understand that you want to keep your own name, but I cannot understand why you cannot even... (read in full...)

I lost twins recently and my husband doesn't seem to care, what should I do?

Q.   i lost twins recently and my husband dont seem to care what should i do?...

A.   5 March 2007: Unfortunately men do not have the ability to bond as early as women with their unborn children, simply because it is the women that carry the babies and experience all the physical symptoms of being pregnant. Your hubby may simply be avoiding the ... (read in full...)

I've been with my girlfriend for 19 months but I know she's not right for me yet I don't want to hurt her. What can I do about it?

Q.   Well...here goes. I've been with my 18yo girlfriend for about 19 months we moved in together about 6 months ago and i think things aren't working out. It's the most bizzare feeling as i do still love her, i just know that despite this i don't want ...

A.   5 March 2007: Sooner rather than later you need to braoch this subject and get it all sorted. Especially if she thinks this relationship is going somewhere. Tell her exactly what you have told us and work it out from there. ... (read in full...)

Why do women prefer dark-haired men?

Q.   Why do women in the UK always praise dark hair? Has it become something that women say regardless. I never hear a woman , or extremely rarely, who says she prefers blond hair on men. I have seen two surveys done in the UK in the last four ...

A.   5 March 2007: You need to address the women you are talking to about this. We have all given you our opinions on this matter, but it would appear that the ladies you talk to are slightly 'different'. Approach them and ask THEM why, as it is them you seem to ... (read in full...)

My boobs feel heavy and hurt, im two weeks past due and havent had sex, but did in Nov, had 2 periods since, what do you think ?

Q.   i know many people may ask this question but my boobs feel realy heavy and they hurt my period was due a few weeks ago i have not had sex although i was forced to in november and that is being delt with. i have had two periods since then and i was ...

A.   4 March 2007: Yes, you have had sex so yes you could be pregnant. Go to your GP asap for advice.... (read in full...)

My bf's mom and older sister hate me for getting pregnant w/ my guy!! Help!

Q.   I am 6 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend's mom and older sister really hate me. They are angry at my boyfriend for getting me pregnant. ...

A.   3 March 2007: Hello?... (read in full...)

If you had the chance to spend one night with Angelina Jolie... would you?

Q.   I have a question that I'm dying to ask. I have a notion that almost everyone with eyes and a libido would love to have sex with Angelina Jolie. I know I would!!! Anytime. Any day. Any way. Oh yeah. So, here goes, if you had the chance to spend ...

A.   3 March 2007: Ew no!! I think she is thin and false looking...she looks like her Dad and I think he is repulsive as well.... (read in full...)

I don't think I have a clitoris (or if I do, it's in the wrong place!)

Q.   I'm a 19 y/o female and a virgin. My new boyfriend is as well. we were both a little naive about sex and started doing some research. I've discovered something strange and unerving. I don't think i have a clitorus, and if i do it's on the wrong ...

A.   2 March 2007: If your are worried about this you need to see your doctor for advice and to point u in the right direction. ... (read in full...)

Should I choose Sociology or Religious studies as a GCSE subject? plz help me choose.

Q.   i'm 14 from England, London and i'm in year 9 and its time for my GCSE options. i already know which ones i'm going to take as i really really really would love to become a lawyer, i have my career planned out already. but the thing is i hate my ...

A.   2 March 2007: Take the subject you like more, you are more likely to apply yourself and get a higher mark. Do they not offer the seperate sciences anymore, or psychology? Psychology and sociology are always good choices for going into any industry working with ... (read in full...)

Erm... I hoovered up my sister's hamster by mistake!!!! Do I get her another one without saying or do I come clean?

Q.   ok now this may sound funny to some people (my friends have found it hilarious!!) but i feel so guilty! My sister turned 11 the other day and for her birthday my parents bought her a little hamster which she called Splodge (dont ask me why). ...

A.   1 March 2007: I suggest you remove 'splodge' fom the hoover before he starts to smell otherwise they may just guess......... (read in full...)

Why do women prefer dark-haired men?

Q.   Why do women in the UK always praise dark hair? Has it become something that women say regardless. I never hear a woman , or extremely rarely, who says she prefers blond hair on men. I have seen two surveys done in the UK in the last four ...

A.   1 March 2007: Look, if you feel so rotten about having blonde hair then just dye it and be done. FYI: not ALL women like dark hair, that is like saying all men fancy Kate Moss or all children like strawberry ice cream. By generalising like this you are bein... (read in full...)

It's not even strawberry blonde!

Q.   Why do people in the UK often call blond men "gingers"? They don`t call blond women "gingers". They don`t call dark haired men "redheads". Whats the big beef? Just because blond hair has flecks of ginger, well thats the same with women as well. ...

A.   1 March 2007: OBSESSIONAL IS WHAT I CALL IT. who cares!!... (read in full...)

Am I with the right person?

Q.   I'm 14 and I'm in a relationship with someone a bit older than me. I love him very much and would be lost without him, but I can't help but feel really nervous and a bit awkward around him. I don't know what to do about it. Has anyone got any ...

A.   1 March 2007: How can we tell you if this guy is right for you or not based on three sentences?... (read in full...)

Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?

Q.   Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...

A.   1 March 2007: birdynumnums, you are SO right!! Yep, to the question asker, don't have sex at this party!! Imagine if it gets out at school - you gonna be able to live with that? ... (read in full...)

Whats wrong with ginger?!!

Q.   Hi, I dont understand, my boy mate has ginger hair and he finds it really dificult to get girlfriends. but I dont understand it, I have been out with ginger boys, I love ginger hair :D so why wont other girls go out with ginger haired boys???...

A.   1 March 2007: How is ginger less prevelant in the UK? I dont follow this line of argument, where did you information come from?... (read in full...)

Is there life after death? Is there hell and heaven? Is there reincarnation? Do we wake-up, and find out we're all aliens?

Q.   hey this is a very wide question but hopefully itll mean i get more peoples opinions on it!! what you think happens when people die, is there life after death? my dad died recently and i cant help thinking whats happened to him so i'd like to know...

A.   1 March 2007: I have faith that there is an afetrlife. In my job I have been privileged to witness the passing of many people and whilst it is heartbreaking for the family and sometimes we carers, it never 'feels' like the end. I understand how hurt you are abou... (read in full...)

Am I too young to be broody??

Q.   Hi, im almost 21 and i have been with my fiance who is 22 for nearly six years now. We are both very happy, and have just got a mortgage together, but their is one problem........IM BROODY!!! We both work and i have a really good job, but their are ...

A.   1 March 2007: If YOU and your partner are ready to have a baby then this should be the main things to take into consideration, although I would ask this....why not get married first? I didn't, i am not judging you, but wouldn't it be nicer to have a wedding and ... (read in full...)

Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?

Q.   Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...

A.   1 March 2007: First and foremost, you are underage. So why on earth are you considering having sex? Secondly I feel that nobody should really be answering this question as it is inappropriate to answer a question about shaving or not as so as to make your... (read in full...)

He doesn't trust condoms and I don't like taking medication including birth control pills. How can we combat this?

Q.   when my boyfriend and i are messing around to the point of possible sex, it always ends because he doesn't trust condoms and im not on birth control. he has asked me before if id think about going on it, and i have thought about it, but the more i ...

A.   1 March 2007: Condoms don't just protect against pregnancy, they can help prevent the spread of infectious disease as well. I think this calls for a rethink.... (read in full...)

How can I stop thinking I'm always right?

Q.   I think i am always right and whoever proves that what i have been thinking was wrong hurts my ego badly to the extent that i kind of have a grudge on the person and can't let it go, especially i am emotionally close to them. Please advice. ...

A.   1 March 2007: Don't know what you are worrying about, you only 'think' you are always right....I AM always right. But then I am a woman!... (read in full...)

I had a brief affair with a married man, he's avoiding me now... how do I get him back?

Q.   i am a 29 year old career woman, have known this guy for a few months, through work, ( i work in HQ level and he works in district level, and our department recently has been doing collaboration with him, which he is the developer and i am the ...

A.   1 March 2007: HE used you for sex, you thought you could steal a married man away from his wife and child.... You want advice to get him back? Sorry, no can do. YES, he is married and should not have done this - but you connived and manipulated this situ... (read in full...)

My wife's past is driving me crazy...what do I do?

Q.   I am a married man of 6 years and have known my wife for 8 years. I love hear from the bottom of my heart, the problem is we have never spoken about our previous sexual relationships up until recently, when my wife made a comment saying that she ...

A.   27 February 2007: Plus, I have a very strong belief that all the male anon postings are actually you hunny!! Laern to write in different styles so you don't get caught out in future!!... (read in full...)

Is it possible for your soulmate to be married to someone else?

Q.   Do you believe it is possible for your soulmate to be married to someone else? I believe mine is married to someone else (for about 10-12 years now). He has told me he loves me (and I him) but he hasn't mentioned he would divorce his wife, so of ...

A.   27 February 2007: To tell you the truth I don't believe in one 'soulmate'. I believe in Mr 'Right at the right itme'. As in, many people we can 'connect with' but it is to do with the setting and our frame of mind and reference. So I wouldn't get hung up on this... (read in full...)

Is it true that women dislike being judged for their physical appearance?

Q.   Though i am pretty sure on this, but i still want to know. Is it true that women dislike being judged for their physical appearance? I have observed some of them getting conscious about covering up themselves when i look at them and try to measure ...

A.   27 February 2007: This varies form women to women as it does form man to man. We are all individuals and we all have different wants and needs. I like to 'scrub up' and look nice, but I do it for MY self esteem rather than any one elses. As for being 'judged' on ... (read in full...)

Would you kiss a girl or man who does oral sex in her/his past? a question for male and female.

Q.   open question would you kiss a girl or man who does oral sex in her/his past? a question for male and female....

A.   27 February 2007: Yes, as I don't have any problem with it.... (read in full...)

My wife's past is driving me crazy...what do I do?

Q.   I am a married man of 6 years and have known my wife for 8 years. I love hear from the bottom of my heart, the problem is we have never spoken about our previous sexual relationships up until recently, when my wife made a comment saying that she ...

A.   27 February 2007: I have a problem with your 'its funny how all women say the' budzone. first, you cannot believe that view is universal of All women and if you do have that belief you are very naive. Two, if you wish to 'debate something' take it to the forums, and ... (read in full...)

My wife's past is driving me crazy...what do I do?

Q.   I am a married man of 6 years and have known my wife for 8 years. I love hear from the bottom of my heart, the problem is we have never spoken about our previous sexual relationships up until recently, when my wife made a comment saying that she ...

A.   26 February 2007: I think this topic has been over aired SO many times before and it always contains the same words and phrases. NOT all women are 'used' by men, they are (surprisingly) active participants in having sex!! Not sure if you understand this, but it it ... (read in full...)

Did our play fighting actually turn him on? Any advice?

Q.   hi im 16. me and my bf have been 2gether For 2 months and he has never tried anything with me or anything cos he's not like that. he's really nice! :D all we have done so far is kiss (without tongues) and hug. he came round my house 2day and we w...

A.   24 February 2007: Chances are yes, he is an probably full of raging hormones! Putting this ball down your top was probably an excuse to touch you! Any excuse works when you don't know haow to approach somebody! ... (read in full...)

Is it normal still to have feelings for your first love, even when you're married?

Q.   I am 26 years old and have been married for 3 years. I love my husband very much and never want to be without him, but I am feeling very guilty and confused. I recently ran into my high school boyfriend/first love and found myself thinking about ...

A.   24 February 2007: Yes, there is always the 'what if' factor with a first love. But do you know what....? They fart in bed, scratch themselves when they think no one is looking and have death-breath in the morning too!! And we all get to 'that' point in a ... (read in full...)

I want to put ON some weight! Anyone any suggestions?

Q.   hi just after some advise on diets i don't want to lose weight i want to gain it im 18 run and out eat any fatty and have hovered around the same weight for about 2 years i am 6.2 foot and weigh 9.4 stone i just want to get up to about 10 maybe a ...

A.   24 February 2007: As you are in the UK you can go to see your GP and ask to be referred to a nutritionist, if they won't do this, then ask your GP for help. The very least they can do is to give you a diet sheet advising you what to take. As well as cardio exer... (read in full...)

My boyfriend raped me and I don't know what to do about it, I feel so dirty.

Q.   Help me please i thought he loved me im 14 and my 15 year old boyfriend Raped me :'( i havnt told anyone what shud i do i thought he loved me, He was walkin me home and he suggested we go the long way round so we have longer to talk and then he ...

A.   24 February 2007: Where are your parents? You need to confide in somebody and you need to do it NOW! This boy has committed a criminal act and you need support to get thru this. At NO point is this your fault. HE performed an act that was against your wishes a... (read in full...)

Here is my list of the "perfect" boyfriend! What do you think?

Q.   Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend. Are there any men like this? 1. Shares all email and IM passwords 2. Has none, or only one, female friend 3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls 4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywher...

A.   24 February 2007: It does doesn't it. Not only is this poor person trying to look for somebody to control they have gender diorientation too!!... (read in full...)

Is it okay to give a gift card to someone instead of an actual gift?

Q.   Hi..I wanted to ask if giving a gift card instead of an actual gift is considered good form. Because, in my opinion, it is very impersonal and shows that you couldn't be bothered enough to take the time to put some thought into getting the person ...

A.   24 February 2007: I am going to sound like an awkward git, but I LOVE gift cards! It is money that I can spend on ME! Without sounding ungrateful I often find I get presents which I either already have or have no use for (like certain smellies - no good if you have ... (read in full...)

Here is my list of the "perfect" boyfriend! What do you think?

Q.   Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend. Are there any men like this? 1. Shares all email and IM passwords 2. Has none, or only one, female friend 3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls 4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywher...

A.   22 February 2007: It's a he, not a she.... (read in full...)

I think he loves his DOG more than he loves me!

Q.   My boyfriends dog was diagnosed with cancer, and it tore him up. So much now that he spends more time with his dog than me. Im worried about him and jealous of his dog, wierd as it may sound its true. He sleeps on the sofa to be closer to his dog, ...

A.   22 February 2007: Do you want the truth now? I think you may have over exaggerated somewhat. If the dog is going to die, why would you then contradict yourslef now and say the dog could have years ahead of it? And why would he keep waking it to see if it is ... (read in full...)

I think he loves his DOG more than he loves me!

Q.   My boyfriends dog was diagnosed with cancer, and it tore him up. So much now that he spends more time with his dog than me. Im worried about him and jealous of his dog, wierd as it may sound its true. He sleeps on the sofa to be closer to his dog, ...

A.   21 February 2007: The dog is dying. How can you be jealous of a pet that is dying?... (read in full...)

Here is my list of the "perfect" boyfriend! What do you think?

Q.   Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend. Are there any men like this? 1. Shares all email and IM passwords 2. Has none, or only one, female friend 3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls 4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywher...

A.   14 February 2007: This is soooo weird... Can you not see that you are potentially a major control freak...when does this 'ideal' man get time to breathe. As for other women thing, how about his family or don't they count. Look, get yourself some counsell... (read in full...)

Whats wrong with ginger?!!

Q.   Hi, I dont understand, my boy mate has ginger hair and he finds it really dificult to get girlfriends. but I dont understand it, I have been out with ginger boys, I love ginger hair :D so why wont other girls go out with ginger haired boys???...

A.   27 January 2007: I am a gingerphile (if there is such a thing) I ADORE every shad of red hair. I have been out with red haired men, but married a man with dark hair and now have a red head for a son! Ginger is THE nicest colour. It is also the colour I cont... (read in full...)

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