Should I distance myself from my Bf AND my Mother? Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?.
Q. Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?. I have had an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Yesterday, I was out with him and I called my mum to pick me up. I got upset because my mum started shouting at me on the phone. ...
A. 22 October 2016: He has given you the green light to spend your time working on yourself. So don't contact him again and start seeking the help you need for all your issues. There will be plenty of time for a relationship after you have gotten a true handle on ... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my Bf AND my Mother? Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?.
Q. Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?. I have had an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Yesterday, I was out with him and I called my mum to pick me up. I got upset because my mum started shouting at me on the phone. ...
A. 22 October 2016: The very last thing you need in your life is a boyfriend. What you need is lots and lots of therapy to address the multitude of issues with which you are currently dealing. If being alone is problematic for you perhaps an in-patient facility would ... (read in full...)
How can I end an affair with a married woman who is having an affair with another?
Q. What steps can I take to end a affair with a married woman that is having another affair. Yes, call me stupid. I deserve it. She is a long term friend and we have known each other for years. We are very comfortable with each other. The other af...
A. 20 October 2016: Since you asked for it...You are stupid.... (read in full...)
I let my feelings for him make me look like a fool!
Q. Hi. I'm currently in a weird state of mind and need some clarity. I really like this friend of mine from college but he works in a different city so we don't get to see each other. The issue is, I always end up acting awkward with him. I talk too ...
A. 21 September 2016: You ARE wasting your time and you DO have control, that is if you take that control. The guy just wants friendship and you want more. Not going to happen. Be strong and move on with your life. No more texting. Like Aunt H said, Stay busy get ... (read in full...)
Should I just block this guy?
Q. I am in my 40s and did ask a question previously on here about this man who I had seen at our local coffee shop. The background I used to see him at my local pub but not to talk to many years ago and then he ended up moving to the same village that ...
A. 21 September 2016: There really isn't much you need to "forget" about now is there. You wrote: "he realised I was up near where he lived and wanted me to come over and get it on with him." He sees you as a potential booty call and that's it. Block him and move on.... (read in full...)
A real dilemma......
Q. Many of you know me for my brilliant advice on this site.... HOWEVER, I now have an enigma of my own.... for which I'd like to ask others their opinion. To wit: If there are two people who are being intimate.... and they have no in...
A. 17 July 2016: okay why does someone your age even ask this "brilliantly" stupid question?... (read in full...)
I’m in love with my boss, why can’t he pick me? I’m in pain!
Q. Hi, I am a Personal Assistant and have been sleeping with my single boss for a few months. I have always had a crush on him from the beginning but I never thought that sleeping with him could happen. When we started sleeping with each other...
A. 7 April 2016: Know that he will never "pick" you. Your pain will only continue and grow as long as you stay around him. Honeypie is right, start looking for another position ASAP and when you find a good fit somewhere else quit your job and don't look back. This ... (read in full...)
Is it morally wrong, and selfish on my part to tell him how I feel, and tear him away from this woman?
Q. I dated a slightly older man for about a year and half until I left to finish my college education. We had decided to break what we had off since we weren't keen on the idea of a long distance relation ship and we had different goals to focus on...
A. 7 April 2016: Are you sure he doesn't love this woman and is just considering marriage strictly because he knocked her up? Not too many people these days have shotgun weddings. Maybe he claims to love you more just to let you down easy or maybe he wants to keep ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 4 March 2016: The hand writing is sooo on the wall. Get rid of the man with his dog. He obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about your opinions or your children. Not about the man or the dog just a woman hanging on to false hopes. Pull yourself up by your boot ... (read in full...)
Was this a marriage proposal?
Q. I'm not sure if I got a marriage proposal last night or not. I know that sounds strange, let me explain. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing, no ring or anything. We were walking around our local park which is decorated in christmas lights i...
A. 13 December 2015: Definitely NOt an official proposal, Honeypie is right it is a "what if".
... (read in full...)
I lashed out at him. He says we are done. What should I do?
Q. I lashed out to my boyfriend for the 3rd time after a party again and now we are broken up. I lashed at him about his daughter but Ive been very stressed with him for the past couple of weeks. He just has not been nice to me and I was going to...
A. 25 November 2015: You got what you wanted...a break. Why are you asking us what you should do? Are you having second thoughts or are playing games with the guy?
... (read in full...)
Do I trust him or not? Something is making me wary.
Q. I have just started seeing someone but I am finding myself a little wary of his actions. I trust him yet I don't think I do. For example last week he said he was going to watch a film at 9pm and said night. I thought that was odd because why ...
A. 27 July 2015: You've just started seeing the guy, did he say you and he were exclusive? If not you should never assume it. There is nothing wrong with dating two people at the same time as long as you are clear about it.... (read in full...)
Just started dating, communication is all one way
Q. Thank you for reading. Last Tuesday I went out on a first date. I've known her for 4 years because she works in a coffee shop in a city I pass through for work reasons about once every 3 weeks. Over the years we have always got along and ha...
A. 22 July 2015: I was raised by the generation who believed that nice girls never called boys. Maybe she's as old fashioned even in her 30's. If you like her and she likes you I'd just go with the flow for awhile. You can ask her about it in the future.... (read in full...)
Yes, it's a tad early but what should I get my boyfriend for Christmas?
Q. hello i was just wondering what i should get my boyfriend for Christmas we are both 14 and he is really into hunting and fishing and sports but i am so clueless on what to get him.. we have only been together for about 6 months by the time Christmas ...
A. 20 July 2015: Whatever you buy be sure to keep the receipt, a lot can happen between now and December, especially at your age. I don't want to sound patronizing but at 14 boyfriends come and go with the sea breeze.... (read in full...)
He fist bumps me at least 7 times during a work day. what is his problem?
Q. This guy i work with keeps fist bumping me for no reason. He keeps saying my name whenever I walk by. Keeps saying 'good job', in a funny way, even though he hasnt deen what I did or didnt do. I ask why he just says stuff like that, he awkwardl...
A. 20 July 2015: Well if he has a girlfriend he cherishes then I guess he's just a natural born flirt. Do like Honeypie suggests, Don't read anymore into it. If he were truly interested he certainly would let you know in no uncertain terms.... (read in full...)
What happens after we die?
Q. I wonder if anybody cares about this issue , but I think about it all the time. I'm not religious, but I feel sort of not really strong in any theoeies about after life. I wish if there would be nothing after we die, but I just have this s...
A. 20 July 2015: Lots and lots of things happen after one's death, they just don't include you.... (read in full...)
Should I go to the funeral of a very dear friend even though I'll feel like an outsider?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, Recently I received the devasting news that a friend of mine has passed away and not only am I grieving for him but it has brought up a lot of sad feelings. I knew my friend for many years (16 years) and he was best frien...
A. 16 July 2015: I seem to be following Cindy and Honey everywhere, but I too think this is a definite GO, he was a dear friend.... (read in full...)
How can I determine and confirm if he just wants sex?
Q. I met a guy online and we talked for a few weeks before having our first date today at a coffee shop. We had a lot in common and he said very sweet things to me, which made me think he liked me. He knew that I was a virgin and that I had never...
A. 16 July 2015: or Honeypie... (read in full...)
How can I determine and confirm if he just wants sex?
Q. I met a guy online and we talked for a few weeks before having our first date today at a coffee shop. We had a lot in common and he said very sweet things to me, which made me think he liked me. He knew that I was a virgin and that I had never...
A. 16 July 2015: Never ever mess with CindyCares when it comes to language...she'll blow you right out of the water.... (read in full...)
Breaking up was not my choice. Do I tell my current Bf that I have feelings for my ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am so confused and would really appreciate any advice. I am currently in a relationship with a really amazing guy. He's kind and funny and treats me the utmost respect. And my parents like him, which is a great bonus. But there is ...
A. 16 July 2015: At 16-17 there SHOULDN'T be anything going on in the bedroom department I my opinion. And I agree with my pal SVC, Don't tell him and don't stay and lead him on. Break up and start fresh.... (read in full...)
I know we can NEVER be together.. but how do I emotionally detach myself?
Q. How do you detach yourself from someone you know you can NEVER be with? There's this guy I've kind of fallen for and there's no chance of it going anywhere other than friendship so how can I pull away without him really knowing I'm doing so. If he ...
A. 14 July 2015: One or both of you are married I'll bet.... (read in full...)
I'm falling for him! (But cannot afford to)
Q. Hello everyone. Been a while. So here's the deal: I'm now in my mid thirties and very single. I've been happy about my life so far. I got out of a toxic relationship about 5 years ago and have not dated since then. I've been enjoying my free...
A. 8 July 2015: Your only choice as I see it is to cut contact with him. The more you talk to him the more involved you are going to get. You will either hurt someone else (the girlfriend) or hurt yourself or both.... (read in full...)
After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 7 July 2015: Aw bless you, your post makes me sad. I know that mere words are not going to make you love yourself more but I wish I could convince you that your boyfriend is definitely not "settling" for you. It sounds like he truly loves you. Sure, if he woke ... (read in full...)
She is a newer employee. Why would our boss give her preferential treatment not offered to the rest of us?
Q. My boss gave a female cowoker 'blocked days' off that were forbidden to the rest of us.. A manager refused to give her those days. Then she asked the head manager, who gave her anything. Even the better work schedule. She's newer than most of us....
A. 6 July 2015: Not much to go on here but one question comes to mind, Have you asked the head manager for blocked days off and the better work schedule for yourself?... (read in full...)
I've looked forward all year to going into the ocean but because of recent shark attacks my mother is forbidding it!
Q. This isn't exactly about a romantic relationship,but I'm really hurting and hope you will please help me. It's hurting me a lot. I've got a dilemna. I'm from the coast, and the ocean was always a big part of our lifestyle, and I never had any ...
A. 2 July 2015: I live at the beach in NC and I have been in the ocean numerous times this summer. But I stay away from any fishing piers or anybody surf fishing. I only go in when the water is clear and I can see the bottom. No problems. But on the other hand I ... (read in full...)
I am obsessed with my colleague, do you think she will be receptive to my attempts to be her friend again?
Q. I'm not really writing this to find a solution to a problem. I don't really think there is a solution. I just needed to express something. I'm a married male father of four and I would consider myself happily married. About five years ago, there was ...
A. 1 July 2015: OP you should watch the movie "American Beauty".... (read in full...)
I didn't care for g/f getting heavier but suddenly our sex life has become awesome. Have I conditioned myself to like her body?
Q. Hi. I'm in a bit of a strange place with my love life and wondered what people thought. I've been with my girlfriend for coming up to six years now, 3 of which we have lived together. I used to absolutely love her slim, toned figure but after we ...
A. 29 June 2015: Looks like your problem just solved itself. Easy peasy.... (read in full...)
He's now come to terms with the break up. Why do I feel I've made a mistake?
Q. In short, My boyfriend broke my trust by stepping over boundaries we agreed on. Even though we're long distance he told me anyway. He denied saying he cheated just that "he we across the line with another woman" even though we agreed before hand ...
A. 23 June 2015: Is this you by any chance? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-said-he-was-thinking-about-me-while.html... (read in full...)
How to turn down dates?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 23 June 2015: If you really aren't interested in dating anyone right now then tell them that exactly. That certainly isn't rude and should get them off your back, or at least you can ignore them after that without being rude.... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 23 June 2015: Thanks for the update so here goes: Knock this nonsense off is what you should do and you know it. For crying out loud there are children involved not to mention a wife! (Ignore this and husband!) You know exactly what you should do.... (read in full...)
He wants time apart after our years together. Does this suggest that he's already seeing someone else?
Q. Why would my boyfriend after 22 yrs tell me that we need time apart ? i feel he has been seeing someone else he always makes me feel like im nobody to him ...
A. 23 June 2015: After 22 years I should think you would be able to talk to him and get to the bottom of all this. We would have no idea as to why he's asking for time apart.... (read in full...)
It's been two or three years since we broke up, so why am I just now having recurring dreams about my ex?
Q. It's been 2 or 3 years after my ex dumped me. I don't remember exactly how long. I do sometimes think about him, but we stopped all contact 1 year ago. I haven't dated anyone after we broke up. I don't know why I dreamed about him a lot recently, ...
A. 22 June 2015: It means you need to get out there and start dating again. You are ready to go places, meet new people, and be seen. Good luck, make it fun and you will enjoy yourself while you wait to meet that great guy.... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 22 June 2015: Knock this nonsense off is what you should do and you know it. For crying out loud there are children involved not to mention a wife and husband! You know exactly what you should do.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a boss to act fragile around a particular employee, (in this case me)?
Q. I had been working for my boss for about two months. He is a really nice person. There are about three managers who work for him. He is the General Manager. Since I have been there, he seems nervous around me. He stumbles over his words, and t...
A. 18 June 2015: Just wondering why you would be so interested in his behavior towards you. If you aren't the slightest bit attracted to him I guess you should just chalk all this up to his being a rather odd duck.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a boss to act fragile around a particular employee, (in this case me)?
Q. I had been working for my boss for about two months. He is a really nice person. There are about three managers who work for him. He is the General Manager. Since I have been there, he seems nervous around me. He stumbles over his words, and t...
A. 18 June 2015: Is he married? Are you currently in a relationship? Do you find him attractive in a romantic way?... (read in full...)
Is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date, after all these years?
Q. So i have a question for all you women. If you accidentally run across an old acquaintance after nearly 10 years (who you really didn't talk to very much) is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date? This person was coincidental...
A. 17 June 2015: Let us know how it goes.... (read in full...)
Are these really relationship red flags, or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
Q. My gut instinct is telling me this relationship is already flawed but I am inexperienced in dating. This man and I are in our mid 40's. I was married for 15 years ( no kids) and he has never been married. His longest relationship was 5 years. ...
A. 17 June 2015: Your gut is correct, this guy is not for you. You won't be able to "justify" his little ref flags forever. Just nip this in the bud and move on.... (read in full...)
Should I dump him? Also he tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts !
Q. I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be aroun...
A. 17 June 2015: yeah there is no fixing this guy. Get out before his ridiculous behavior starts effecting your self-esteem. You know you can do much better because the only way is up from here.... (read in full...)
Is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date, after all these years?
Q. So i have a question for all you women. If you accidentally run across an old acquaintance after nearly 10 years (who you really didn't talk to very much) is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date? This person was coincidental...
A. 17 June 2015: Just ask her out, at least that way you will get your answer and won't be wondering about any what ifs. ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date, after all these years?
Q. So i have a question for all you women. If you accidentally run across an old acquaintance after nearly 10 years (who you really didn't talk to very much) is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date? This person was coincidental...
A. 16 June 2015: Go for it, not in the least weird.... (read in full...)
My cousin has now totally blanked me. Should I persist in trying to talk to him about our night of passion together?
Q. Advice needed please. So Saturday night I invited my Cousin over for a chat and a catch up as I'm staying in the area while another family member is in hospital. My cousin and I are not close and although we've met a few times and went to the ...
A. 16 June 2015: I wouldn't be comfortable having with sex with any of my first cousins, too close to doing it with a brother in my book. Maybe he feels the same way and regrets his actions, only he knows. But when a guy, any guy cousin or not, totally "blanks" you ... (read in full...)
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