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*icola79 agony aunt


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Hello all, my name is Nicola and im 27 years old.

I am married to a lovely man(my soul mate). I am a very caring person and I do not judge people,I love to try and help others and love feedback,so if I do ansew your problems please feel free to let me know if I helped you in any way,or if you think I could do something better.

I love animals and children and frown uppon people who hurt or are cruel to them.

I live in England(Sheffield) and work in a hospital,I am going to be putting all my spare time into this web site so please feel free to contact me.

Thankyou for your time in reading what I had to say.xxxxx

12345Next > [5 pages, 155 answers]

My wife's dad died last night, how can I help my wife through this?

Q.   ok i hope you can help me out here. i'm 33 and my wife is 32. She lost her dad last night and it very upset. I know she's grieving and everything but I've really never seen her like this before. last night when we got back from the hospital we went ...

A.   31 May 2007: i know how she is feeling, i lost my dad in september 05 and im still not myself. my dad was 44,fit and healthy and just died in his sleep. i was at work and my mum and husband were trying to reach me. when i was told,i went onto auto pilot to get ... (read in full...)

I just broke up completely with my boyfriend and I wanted to know if I did the right thing?

Q.   ok well I just broke up completely with my boyfriend and I wanted to know if I did the right thing. we have been going on and off for about 9 months and i do love him but he does not know how to treet a girl thinking that hes all that and that he ...

A.   31 May 2007: yes i think you did the right thing flower. you are young and want to enjoy your self. having a boyfriend is great but not when they are being like that. just forget him and enjoy your life, boys dont always mature as fast as girls so dont worr... (read in full...)

I want to tell him the truth that I lied but I don't know if it'll make the situation better or worse. HELP!!!

Q.   Hi...Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half and we just had a son together. The problem is that we live 20 mins from each other and I barely ever see him and when we have plans to see each other it's very rare he'll come over. ...

A.   31 May 2007: listen, we all say or do something that we wish we didnt, and its not the end of the world. i would just tell him the truth,just say you dont know why you said it and you are really sorry. tell him you were just abit angry that he didnt come to see ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin and he's very well endowed. Will it hurt to have sex?

Q.   I'm wondering... I am a virgin and I have a partner which is really big in size, he's well above average. Will it hurt me more than if he was smaller ? I'm kinda scared....

A.   31 May 2007: if you are scared then i would leave it untill you are not. it will hurt if you are not relaxed, maybe get some lube? just tell him to be slow and if you want to stop at anytime then you must be sure that he knows ok. try having a little drink... (read in full...)

My period is late, do you think I could be pregnant?

Q.   I haven't had my period. I usually get it on the 5th. I've never had a normal period until i started taking the pill. I slipped 1 or 2 days but still used condoms. it is now the 30th and still haven't got them my period yet. I have spotted and I am ...

A.   31 May 2007: well,yes you could be,but also it could be the fact that you keep thinking you are so your mind is telling your body to play tricks on you. i would 100% say go and see your doctor,because it could be a number of reasons why you havnt. we are here... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said sex hurt him, is this normal?

Q.   My guy and I recently had sex after a few months because we were in different parts of the country. He said that it hurt him, he felt good but also pain. Is this normal ? I am worried for him. I was on top of him just for the record here. We did ...

A.   31 May 2007: hiya, it may be that you are a little bit tight and need to maybe use some lube? also when men have had an orgasm, if they carry on,sometimes it gives them a strange feeling. i wouldnt say hurt them but is strange. i hope this help... (read in full...)

My is my ex boyfriend constantly keeping in touch with me after our breakup a year ago?

Q.   What do you think an ex boyfriend wants when he stays in contact with you for over a year since you broke up (his choice) say once a month just saying hi. Then in the last month he has been texting nearly every day and apologising again for his ...

A.   27 May 2007: hmmm, yes i would feel a bit shy asking if he wants to date again,but do you still like him in that way? if so then when he rings you next,just say that "why dont we meet up? we havnt seen eachother in ages and it would be lovely to catch up" h... (read in full...)

Can you ever heal and move on from your first love?

Q.   Can you ever heal and move on from your first love?...

A.   27 May 2007: yes you can move on and have a happy life, you will never forget your first love, i met my first love when i was 14 and broke up when i was 18. i am now nearly 28 and very happy with my husband who i love so so so much, but ive never forgotten my ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my husband I KNOW he's been cheating on me?

Q.   I have just found out my husband is cheating on me. I have computer eveidence so I am sure. I hurt so much. How do i tell him i know the truth?...


I'm in love with an unhappy married man!

Q.   I'm in love with an unhappy married man and he wants to leave his wife but she is controlling his every mood. what should i do to help him get out of that and be with me were he want to be?...

A.   27 May 2007: please dont tell me that you believe him? he is loving this i bet. i wouldnt even give him the time of day, 1 because he is married, 2 because he is lying, 3 because if he has done it to her then he will do it to you. im sorry but how would you feel ... (read in full...)

What can I do to show him that I miss him during the weekdays?

Q.   I met my boyfriend in Uni and we have been dating for a couple of months. The term ended about a month ago and he moved back home for the summer. He lives about an hour and a half away and comes to visit me on the weekends because I don't own a car. ...

A.   27 May 2007: maybe sent him a letter so when he gets back home,he will have it to read. just say that you miss him and count the days till the weekend. maybe get a bus and meet him half way and spend a few nights away from everything,just be inpulsive swee... (read in full...)

Should girls ask guys out on a date?

Q.   Is it all right for a girl to ask a guy out, or is it only supposed to be the guys who do the asking?...

A.   27 May 2007: well times have changed my love. it used to be the boy who did all the running but like i say times have moved on and its 50 50 now. if you really like someone then yes i would go and see if he wants to go for something to eat,or go see a movi... (read in full...)

Tip needed..on how to cope with razor burn!

Q.   I like to maintain my pubic hairs, but when I shave I always get razor burn. Any suggestions?...

A.   27 May 2007: yes,like dvi said,use a desposable razor for down there, also when you have finished try washing and drying through. try using an antiseptic cream,which will prevent you from getting spots and will keep you from feeling sore.... (read in full...)

I really think she is interested in my husband! What's my next move?

Q.   I am struggling with this girl, who lives on the same street as we do (my husband and I) and since there jas been a no smoking ban in public bars and restaurants, we hang out at home. I am usually inside but since it has been considerably warm in ...

A.   26 May 2007: you and your hubby both seem really nice,but somtimes people will take that for granted.if she comes back,i would just say that you are just sitting down for a meal or you have your family round. see i have never done drugs so i dont know what must ... (read in full...)

I have problems getting to that first official date with any women I meet. What am I doing wrong?

Q.   Can anybody give me some advice? I don’t seem to have any trouble attracting women and consider myself lucky with the number of women I know to talk to. Most of these are women approach me initially. I do consider myself approachable and they thi...

A.   26 May 2007: ahhh,bless ya. you obviously havnt met the right woman then,have you? i think if this has happened not so long back,when a woman has given you her number,then instead of txt,ring her. just keep it short and too the point. just say "hiya, its me from... (read in full...)

He can say "I love you" over the phone but not in person.. why?

Q.   my bf says he loves me on the phone and i believe him, but to my face he can only manage i like you. He can't explain himself. Whats going on?...

A.   24 May 2007: it sounds like he is shy. talk to him about it,and try to make him feel ok by saying it to your face. hopefully he means it,and you can go on to have a loving and happy relationship together. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

Feel uncomfortable about my grown-up boys having their girlfriends stay over...

Q.   I am 52 yrs.old and have two college-aged boys (20 and 22 years old). They've come home for the summer to live with me and work and both of their gilfriends have been hanging out with them at my house. This is fine, but then the g/f's have started ...

A.   24 May 2007: i know what you are saying and yes your gf is living with you but its you who is the dad and its your house. its obvious that you do love your kids but at the same time you dont have to put up with it if you dont want to. maybe sit them all down... (read in full...)

He still wants to be friends...should I or shouldn't I?

Q.   "I left my troubled relationship for him. Now he has left me for pregnant ex girlfriend" He now says he would still want us to be friends. Do you think its wise for me to be friends with this guy or should i just forget he ever existed in my li...

A.   24 May 2007: it wouldnt hurt to say hello when you see him but i would leave it at that. it just wouldnt work for the two of you to be pally anymore. i know you must feel hurt but if he got this girl pregnant, he is really doing the right thing sweety. i know... (read in full...)

I am feeling insecure because I have a younger husband..afraid I will lose him? Any advice?

Q.   i am in my mid 30s, female. I have 2 kids and i got divorce long back. now i am happly married again to a younger man who is 6 years younger to me. we also have a year old son. but my problem is that i feel insecure of my marriage, coz my ...

A.   24 May 2007: i dont think you have a problem here,its just what is going on in your head. if you carry on like this,you may loose him but not to a younger woman,it will be because you are worried about things that just are not happening. he will soon sence this... (read in full...)

Where can I get smaller condoms?

Q.   Does any body have the same problem I do? I have a penis size of 5 inches, but condoms i buy seem to be far too big for me, so when i have sex they seem to slip alot. Does anybody know where i can get smaller ones from? ...

A.   24 May 2007: first of all,do not worry about this as you can always find the ansew. look on the internet,put in "smaller condoms". i have just had a quick look,searching using google and loads came up. there are loads to choose from so do not worry. this ... (read in full...)

Will I ever get over my crush??

Q.   8 months later and I am still not over her! Fell into a deep infatuation with this girl 8 months ago and I am STILL not over her. She's straight, in a long-term relationship and nothing can ever happen. I even told her I fancied her thinking that ...

A.   24 May 2007: welcome to being a normal human. most of us have been here at one point of our lives,but like you say,"its a crush and nothing will ever happen". she has a boyfriend and loves him by the sound od things,so i think the best thing you can do is admi... (read in full...)

I find that this "kind" of sex really hurts... any tips?

Q.   boyfriend really wants anal sex but weve tried before, i can have a finger in my ass and i enjoy it its just that having him in there really hurts and is uncomfortable i dont know how to fully relax and let him in,it is wat he really wants any tips ...

A.   24 May 2007: well you say its what he really wants,but is it what you really want? if you dont want it then i think you will never relax and it will always hurt you. but if you do want it,try having a drink first because that should hep you relax,also do you use ... (read in full...)

I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should... but I'm worried he'll talk me into staying

Q.   I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should. We had grown apart, and I felt no physical attraction for him anymore. But I didn't rush into divorce either because my husband insisted that I wait, hoping ...

A.   24 May 2007: ohh bless you,you did the right thing by braking it off with him if you dont love him anymore. he will understand this some day,but dont go back for the wrong reasons because you have your life to live aswell. just tell him you are going ahead with... (read in full...)

What is scat??

Q.   I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend a few weeks ago. That's all well and fine, but now he's telling me that he has a fetish, "scat" I feel very embarrassed to ask him what this is. What is it?...

A.   24 May 2007: oh my god,i looked at your post and then opened a new window to find out what "scat" is. from what i can make out its being turned on about POO. i think he is descusting,get rid because that is auful, you dont want to be involved in anything... (read in full...)

Am I doing something wrongor should I dump him??

Q.   ok, I have a boyfriend and i dont know what he is doing half of the time and he does not call me or e-mail me at all. I feel like im doing somethink wrong. Maybe i should not be with him. What do you think?...

A.   24 May 2007: i agree with dragonette, talk to him and find out how he feels. but he may just want to hang out with his mated and do lad things. if you dont feel happy then i think you have your ansew flower. you are still young and it would be horrible for you ... (read in full...)

Things are great...except I hardly ever feel like having sex with my bf!!!

Q.   hey, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and things are great... except when it gets to the bedroom.. i can be sexually involved with him... but i hardly ever feel like actually having sex. I know this isnt normal but i would like to know if ...

A.   24 May 2007: i think once you get into it,you will be fine. do you still fancy him? ii think if you still feel like this you should go and see the doctor. its nothing to worry about as having sex is not the be all end all. are you taking any medication? because ... (read in full...)

Why would he stare if he didnt like me??

Q.   I really like this guy, but i havent told him. Yesterday, we were sitting around with a couple of people. From the side of my eye, i caught him staring at me. I looked back, smiled, and he kept looking, even after i turned away. I think this is a ...

A.   24 May 2007: life is too short so ask him if he wants to have dinner with you. if he says yes then you have your ansew,he does like you. it seems to me that he wants you to know that he likes you but maybe he is worried that you dont like him? if he says no,... (read in full...)

Has he dumped me?

Q.   Hi all, I have been in a romantic affair with a lovely man for 9 months. He was the one doing all the running, and gave me a lot. I never gave him the pleasure of an answer as to how serious we were, and he kept asking me whether I would marry hi...

A.   24 May 2007: you know what it sounds like to me? like you like him to chase you around. please before i continue,i am not being nasty to you and as i dont know you i will not judje you ok? it seems like you love it when he rings and askes you how you are and ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to be addicted to another human being??

Q.   can anyone help me please? I have been in love with my ex-husband since I was 15 (I am now 39). We had many break-ups due to his violence and alcoholism. I am now separated from him a year and a half but he still goes through my mind every single d...

A.   24 May 2007: you have known eachother for a long time and even got married,so i think you have a right to think of him. it must be hard to be apart from him but if there was the things you said in your marriage then i would count my blessings. if you havnt al... (read in full...)

I am experiencing negative emotions about my married guy. Will this destroy what we have?

Q.   I have a boyfriend. He's married man and i love him very much. The problem is i understand there's nothing he could do that would be like dating a normal single guy. but i cannot live without him and i believe he loves me too. We have been togeth...

A.   23 May 2007: well the first thing is that we cant help who we fall for and how we feel. on the other hand,and im sorry to say thiss because you seem really nice. he is a married man and you say he has no faults but of corse he does other wise he wouldnt be with ... (read in full...)

Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?.

Q.   Hi all, Would like your thoughts on this subject. Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?. I remember when we first used to kiss and cuddle and it was like melting in his arms. The sex was the best ever, and we couldnt lea...

A.   23 May 2007: ohh i dont know. he must love you otherwise he would have gone by now. i do understand what you mean though,but i think after being with a partner for a long time you do loose some of that "oh i wonder what he is gonna do for me tonight" and that is ... (read in full...)

Sex is boring and he doesn't take me anywhere! What is going on?

Q.   i am 18 years old i know i am in love i have been with this guy for a little more than a year and i knew him before we start dating anyways he always says i love you to me but never ever wants to take me anywhere no movies,NOTHING why we argue ...

A.   23 May 2007: it sounds to me like you both are skuck in a rut. just talk to him and explain that you need to go out together even if its just a walk in the park,or if you have a beach near by? you are still young and you dont want to be putting up with this... (read in full...)

A year on...and I cant cope without him!!

Q.   About a year ago i fell deeply in love with this boy we went out for about 6 months. He asked me to do things i didnt want to do it scared me and i made an excuse and ended it. 1 year on i still love him and cant cope without him although his sister ...

A.   22 May 2007: quite right,you dont need to be doing things like that at your age. i think you are better off just enjoying yourself with your friends. i know you think you love this lad but you will go through this loads in your life like we all do. just forg... (read in full...)

Someone told my mom I was talking about sex - now my mom calls me deragatory names! Can she stop me from seeing my bf?

Q.   this might not be a relationship, sex, or love question, but i need some advice! I HATE MY MOTHER!!! Okay so i was talking to someone and an adult went and said we were talking about sex and then that person told my mom. Now my mom is all the time...

A.   22 May 2007: well i cant believe that a mother could be that way with her own child. have to got anyone else in the family who you could talk to? you are so young so if she wanted to ground you the i think she could. all you have got to think about is that if y... (read in full...)

The test came out negative, but I have a lot of pregnancy symptoms! What should I do?

Q.   ive taken a test to tell me if im pregnant or not and it says that im not but im gaining weight and i am peeing alot and im tired alot and i just got over my "priod" but it was very very light what should i do ...

A.   22 May 2007: it could be one of two things. it was a false test,i would go to your doctor and let them do another test for you. or it could be that you are thinking you are even though you may not be,you can actually trick your body into thinking that you are ... (read in full...)

My gf's mom is very controlling and I'm afraid my gf will end up the same! Is there anything I can do?

Q.   Yes I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years this month and I really enjoy everthing about her when she doesn't hold back. We enjoy the same things and really enjoy each others company when nothing is hanging over our heads.There is some problems ...

A.   22 May 2007: well you must love your gf otherwise you wouldnt have hung around for so long. just because your familys dont get on that shouldnt be a real big problem for the 2 of you. i dont think you should worry too much about her turning into her mum,we are ... (read in full...)

Two days after fooling around together he got back with his ex! I feel used!

Q.   ok...well..i met this guy awhile ago...and after getting to know each other..we realized that we had feelings for each other..but we decided ignore them because he was currently in a relationship with one of my really close friends. this guy and i ...

A.   22 May 2007: it sounds to me that he got what he wanted off you sweety and now hes dropped you like a brick. i really hope if you did go all the way that you used something? you still have a lot of growing up to do and i know you must be hurt right now but you ... (read in full...)

We've grown apart after a month and now he's hanging out w/ his ex!

Q.   im 15 and i've been going out with my boyfriend now for about a month... we met on a school trip and at this point he had a gf... when we got back he sent me a letter sayin how he couldnt stop thinking about me and how he had ending it with his ...

A.   22 May 2007: i do agree with dvi. you should speak to him and find out for your self. aswell you are so young and have a lot more growing up to do,so dont worry too much ok. you may think im talking crap and that you know how you feel, i know this because i was ... (read in full...)

He says he's depressed b/c of us and thinks about breaking up but doesn't actually want to. Should I just get out now?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half; we moved in together about 7months ago. Lately we have been going through a rough patch. I know that I have had trust issues due to past experiences and that has been the root of most ...

A.   22 May 2007: you poor thing. its so hard when one of you is feeling this way. i know he says he doesnt want to have a break but i think you would both benefit from it. it gives you both time to do some thinking,and be able to just have that space . i do reall... (read in full...)

Should I wait around for him to make up his mind, or should I let him go ?

Q.   Ok. Here's the deal. About 2 months ago, I began to like a very good friend of mine. I'll call him 'Pete'. I've known him two years now. There's a problem though. Him and my other friend were dating for 4 years and broke it off recently, maybe ...

A.   22 May 2007: well maybe just give him a bit longer? its how you feel really,personally i would ask him where his feelings lie and if he says that he doesnt know then maybe you should tell him that you really like him and want to be with him but its not right for ... (read in full...)

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