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*tonemason agony aunt

*tonemason

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I'm embarassed by my wife's flirting!

Q.   My wife and I separated for sexual reasons but recently got back together. I am satisfied and am happy about it because I love her. She loves me, too, even if sometimes she thinks she doesn't (calls me a "stick-in-the-mud." My wife is very ...

A.   15 October 2010: Thank you all for giving me ideas. About counseling we've already done that. The therapist thought I should understand how my wife needed and wanted attention and if it didn't bother me, I should go ahead and let her flirt and go right ahead and ... (read in full...)

How do I bring back the spark in our relationship?

Q.   Im a woman who has lots of children and my husband wont make love to me anymore he always saids he to tired and wont even touch me in anyway or even give me a cuddle and hold my hand when ever we go anywhere then today at the supermarket i got guys ...

A.   1 October 2010: I think you should talk more to him and be patient. You don't say how long you've been married but I guess it's been a long time. Your husband takes you for granted. You might want to stop cooking and cleaning for him (not for your children), just ... (read in full...)

Having trouble staying interested in straight sex with my wife

Q.   I have been faithful to my wife for the better part of two decades. I love her very much. Physically, however, I find myself having grown very bored with "regular" sex over the last few years. When we have sex, I have to fantacise to get into it. ...

A.   27 August 2010: You are a very normal person, don't worry. I have been married 25 years. You are being far too cautious, I think. It seems to me that, according to what you have described, I have been treating my wife like your wife has been treating you. In... (read in full...)

Over 65 and my wife no longer wants sex

Q.   My wife has no more interest in sex. When I ask her what the problem is? She just says that she has lost all interest in sex. My question is, If I have sex with another woman would that be cheating? P.S. We are both over 65....

A.   24 August 2010: It all depends on her attitude towards you, doesn't it? What exactly is her attitude? If she acknowledges this is a problem, then you both can set about solving it reasonably and openly. If she doesn't acknowledge it as a problem, then you should ... (read in full...)

Retrograde jealousy

Q.   DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...

A.   21 August 2010: Tisha-1, thanks for addressing MY issue, which was a little different from the original poster's, mine being that my wife was always alluding and referring to and mentioning some little thing about her past with other men in many social ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to meet his ex

Q.   my boyfriend likes to talk about his past sexual relationships, and he has also remained friends with several of his ex-girlfriends. now he wants me to meet one of them because of his friendship with her. i must admit that this really makes me feel ...

A.   13 August 2010: You should "test the waters" by talking about your own former ones; if you are inexperienced and have had few or none, you could talk about your wishes or fantasies about others. Don't let him dominate you like this. By taking over the agenda, You ... (read in full...)

Porn versus love

Q.   Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...

A.   8 August 2010: One anonymous reader writes after my post that indicated, "Since we don't really see it as a problem, we have trouble understanding why the women in our lives have so many issues with it." The anonymous poster wrote: Why isn't the fact that so man... (read in full...)

Retrograde jealousy

Q.   DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...

A.   5 August 2010: Your sentence, "It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the news that the wife or husband was not in fact a virgin prior to the marriage" creates a ridiculous scarecrow strawman for others to knock down, instead of an ... (read in full...)

Porn versus love

Q.   Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...

A.   5 August 2010: You don't say how it has affected your relationship other than to imply you don't like or approve of it. What is the problem? Does he make love to you? Is he excited about you? If so, what is the matter with what he is doing? I admit it was vacuous ... (read in full...)

How many sexual partners in your most "productive" year?

Q.   A quick poll: how many sexual partners did you have your most "productive" year? I am male and had around 5-6 partners in one single year. Anyone else mind responding. My theory is that most people sexualartners are not spread out evenly but ...

A.   30 July 2010: In my most productive year, I had two. That year, I broke up with one and found another steady woman. "A productive year" is one in which my partner and I are nearly completely sexually and emotionally "compatible." Compatible means I can hardly ... (read in full...)

Does cybersex equal cheating?

Q.   hi, well im in a complicated situation right now. I have a boyfriend we've been together for longer than 6 months. I love him like i never thought i would love someone, he loves me really much (i know that)but the thing is... ive been lately sexu...

A.   19 July 2010: Yes, it's cheating. You're depriving your partner of these conversations; while he's holding the bag, you're eating oats with someone else. Why not try treating him to the same fun you're having with the cyberfella?... (read in full...)

What do men think of lots of pubic hair?

Q.   Hey, I'm 14, and i already have LOTS of pubic hair, which i hate. I'm a swimmer, and i'm finding it hard to cope with shaving, and i dont feel ready to wax yet. the hair spreads way past my knicker line. Also, do men find lots of pubic hair unat...

A.   18 July 2010: Some men love to see lots of it. Worn with a bathing suit, you should probably trim it, however, landstrip-wise, etc. I can tell you that this is not a problem since you always have scissors or could always show some guy the door.... (read in full...)

I'm tired of being fat!

Q.   I am 14 around 5 ft 2 or 3 and about 180 lbs. I am tired of being fat. My parents, brother and kids at school are always telling me that i am fat. Its really making me hate my life. i have a boyfriend actually today would be out one month. I cant do ...

A.   16 July 2010: Learn how to cook for yourself because others will cook you the food they want to. You have to learn to make your food decisions for yourself. Do you like vegetables, fruit, and cereals? A vegan diet is a way to lose weight without sufferin... (read in full...)

Is my sex life normal at my age?

Q.   I am over 60 and still have sexual intimacy on average once a week. Question; I prefer to 'finish off' outside her body is this normal and is once a week at my age normal? How much longer can i expect to be able to 'step up to the plate'?...

A.   11 July 2010: I agree with Honeygirl that there's nothing wrong with "finishing up outside her," and however many times a week or month you desire sex is how often you should have it. There's no magic number or activities either that are "normal," except being ... (read in full...)

Opinions on what constitutes cheating?

Q.   My boyfriend has a close female friend who he used to like. I'm wondering what are people's opinions on what would be classified as cheating( apart from kissing and having sex)? Thank you...

A.   9 July 2010: What constitutes "cheating?" Cheating is constituted by lying; lying, even "white lies," lead to illusions and lack of living, preventing you living your life intensely. Why would someone lie? "To save your feelings" means to save their feelings ... (read in full...)

Is it okay to have a secret affair, as the sex situation is beyond repair?

Q.   I am in a sexless Marriage (for over 3 years of no sex), and believe me I've tried to resolve it. But my wife remains uninterested in sex, and it just seems like we share a house as barely friends. I in the meantime have a very high sex drive, ...

A.   9 July 2010: Three years? She is very neurotic. You have every reason to divorce her and find a new partner. I wouldn't even try to work things out, as it's apparent you've already tried. Don't try. She's uninterested. There are plenty of women who need a good ... (read in full...)

How much does size matter to women?

Q.   I have an ordinary size dick and I spoke to a Doctor about it once. He said that there wasn't really anything that can be done about it. His exact words were... "you are what you are and there's nothing we can do to change that." I want an hone...

A.   9 July 2010: It's important to believe the women who write answers here: why should they be lying? Size is unimportant. However, I think they've forgotten to consider appearance: bigger looks better, more interesting, more "harrowing," so to speak. Bigger ... (read in full...)

Why do women always lie about there sexual past???

Q.   Hello everyone, Today im here too really find out why women always under sell their sexual past. I found out two of my good friends and including me, That are wives have liad too us about there sexual past. Ive been married for 13 years and come too ...

A.   9 July 2010: I personally think it's the very best thing to learn everything you can about your partner before you marry them. Everything, including their nightly dreams, thoughts, previous histories, quirks, eccentricities, jealousies, envies, ... (read in full...)

Am I overly sensitive or is my wife's behaviour with this friend inappropriate?

Q.   I have been avoiding asking this but I am up to my bald spot with this! My wife car pools with a man, about her age, with no one else, just the two of them. Five days a week for 45 minutes to 1 hour 15 minutes EVERYDAY. They meet at our house, (...

A.   8 July 2010: First of all, I think you might consider that your wife feels she has you in an impossible position, given your gentle, understanding, and patient nature which is combined with your disabilty. She is treating you with complete contempt. My opinion ... (read in full...)

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