Like what
she writes?
... Add kellyO to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send kellyO a private message | | | kellyO's profile:I'm a 30 yrs old female researcher in Engineering.I know this sounds boring but i do find time for my other key interests which includes dancing and going to the cinema.
I presently reside in london. I'm in a very happy relationship now but believe me i have had my own fair share of bad experiences in the past.
I love people have alot of friends and i love helping my friends.I also enjoy travelling and i have been to all continents apart from australia.
I think i try to be understanding when i advise people but i am a believer in an indivdual creating their own happiness and if the situation you find yourself is unbearable i dont think one should remain. I also believe in true love and i know there is always someone out there for everyone you just have to find the strength to move on and rebuild your life.
I know i dont have all the answers but hopefully with the experience i have gathered i hope i'll be able to help others as sincerely as i can. |
|
He says we are too dependent on each other. Now, he's distancing himself!
Q. my best friend and i fell in love and started dating a few months later we realized we couldnt go ahead with it coz of very strong external influences (family..our families would not hav let us be together) so we decided to let it go and stay ...
A. 12 May 2008: Hi,
Having spoken to him already there is nothing more you can do. Give him the distance he wants, allow him dictate the pace of the friendship.
I know it is hard but if he doesnt want the close friendship then there is little you can do. Doin... (read in full...)
How can I make my marriage work when I am always having to prove myself??
Q. I feel like a crybaby, i am a strong person normally but for the past year i have done nothing but try to prove to my husband of 4yrs that im not cheating on him. I love him and have never ever done anything to make him think i would have cheated....
A. 19 February 2008: Hi dear,
The problem i can see here is control. Am afraid only if you allow him access to your movements, whereabouts and everything you do will he be satisfied. Is that what you really want? Not to have the freedom and clear-mindness you need.Sin... (read in full...)
Have any of you liked your friends man?
Q. Have any of you liked a guy that your friends with for like afew months and not been able to stop thinking about him and when your with him always looking at him, but then when your on your own and you start to think what it would be like to be with ...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi there,
Yes i did, A long time ago when i was i college i was attracted to a guy who was my senior in school. We sort of met through a friend at a party and i discovered later on he had a girlfriend. He introduced me to her and we became v... (read in full...)
I might have a second chance, how do I make it clear I won't break his heart again?
Q. A couple of months ago, an ex-boyfriend from 10 years ago emailed me from out of the blue to say hi. He was the sweetest guy that I have ever dated, but I was very immature at that time. I may have broken his heart as I was his first girlfriend. ...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi,
Let it simmer slowly back together.Dont rush it like a gush of wind on a old flame. Remember the saying, be watchful of old flames cos sometimes they blow out really fast. I wouldnt make a move right now. Take the friendship as it comes, i... (read in full...)
My friends say my bf is frigid because he never kisses/hugs me. How can I help him?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for quite a long time. But I've got a problem... My friends describe him as 'frigid' because he doesn't even hug me, I have to go over to him and hug him first. My friends say I should kiss him, or dump him ...
A. 17 February 2008: Hi,
I can see your friends being mentioned alot in your post. It shouldnt be about what they want you know, but more about you.
My advise is that you should try to avoid telling them stuff about your personal life or boyfriend.This i... (read in full...)
Is his watching horror films just a "bloke thing" or should I be a bit worried about my husband's state of mind?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles, I have a question about horror films. My husband loves to watch them, including some pretty gory, ultra violent ones. I don't like them but I will watch them sometimes although I don't like the really bad ones....
A. 17 February 2008: Hi,
I used to be crazy about all kinds of horror films when i was in my teens and my early twenties. But now i get scared to watch the really horror ones, although i still enjoy most.I usually have bad dreams afterwards like when i went to watch... (read in full...)
Site News: We hit another milestone :-)
Q. For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...
A. 16 February 2008: Congrats!!!... (read in full...)
Can a lost love return once you've set them free? Is there really hope or is it better to stay single?
Q. My ex and father of my children says that he needs his time and wishes that one day we will return together later in life but there is too much water under the bridge (I agree), I love him and hate him at the same time but I miss him and want to ...
A. 16 February 2008: Hi Anom,
There are happy endings. Not sure if he is going to be the one to make it happen but it will surely come.I have heard of situations when people drift apart and come back together but it is not the same for everyone and i dont want you... (read in full...)
In love with my half brother? We plan to disappear as I reach 18, and expect the general disagreeance - but would anyone understand?
Q. i just met my half brother 2 years ago. we've always had this connection, and a lot of unspoken sexual tension. we have been real close for a long time, and i would do a few [illegal] things with him and if it got to bad to calm me down he would ...
A. 16 February 2008: Hi,
Dawnie is right here. it is wrong and you have to stop now. It will cause a huge rift and break your parent hearts.
Kelly.... (read in full...)
I want my ex to be happy in his relationship but I also... want him back! Struggling with the emotions, what to do?
Q. I have a serious problem with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend. My ex and I broke up about a year ago. We have still continued to talk but lately it's been A LOT more. His present girlfriend seems nice enough and I want him to be happy ...
A. 16 February 2008: Hi,
I agree with the other aunt on this one. I think a little distance would help if you are no longer involved. Also you can let him know how u feel if he says he is still in love with you then they should be no place for the other girl. But if i... (read in full...)
Should I tell my bf about my pregnancy and miscarriage during the time he was away? I did not want to upset him at the moment...
Q. Dear Aunts, my boyfriend left for America 4 months ago and now hes back, however while he was away i was taken into hospital and tests showed that i was pregnant and had miscarried, i hadn't known i was pregnant. I didn't tell him as i didn't want...
A. 16 February 2008: Hi dearie,
I think you should tell him. You need his support for this one, i can see it is eating you up inside also.
Lots of hugs
Kelly... (read in full...)
She still wants to go out with me but says it's too soon to accept a relationship, I feel bad about having been rejected though!
Q. i met this girl from a friend, she is very pretty, and looks totally interested in me, we've met trough msn then phone, then we've gone onto 4 dates, i asked her on valentine's, we went out and i asked her to be my gf, she said it was too soon and ...
A. 16 February 2008: Hi Chris,
Dont take it that way. She went out with you on val's day means she is heavy interested in you. Dont blow this one i tell you. Give her the time she wants to get to know you better and try to be as charming as i know you are.
Goodluc... (read in full...)
Boys consider me ugly and I feel very low about it, whereas the school regulation does not allow make up or other forms of embellishment. What can I do?
Q. i am really ugly, i am dark and my hair is sooo curly and frizzy... my face gets so oily and it looks really bad..we wear uniforms in school and not allowed make up although i do put eyeliner...and im not allowed to straighten or colour my hair or ...
A. 16 February 2008: Hi,
What makes you feel you are ugly? I dont think you are.
Dark is beautiful, alot of us tan our skin to get that olive brown tone. I curl my hair sometimes to look different. My face is oily and i add a little white powder when i was in sch. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be attracted to girls as well as boys?
Q. I am 11 years old and so is my best friend, we are in the same year 7 class and I've known her for 2 years (but we weren't best friends until we were in the same class). The thing is, I'm worried that I like her too much. you know, people have ...
A. 15 February 2008: Hi,
I wouldnt be worried if i were you. You are going through puberty now and your body is changing. You are also trying to figure out who you are and what you are about. It is perfectly normal and it is not time yet to make a sound conclusi... (read in full...)
I slept with my sister's ex husband and I feel terrible about it!
Q. I feel in a terrible situation, I went out the other night and got quite drunk, I bumped into my sister's ex-husband, they have been divorced for about 7 years, we started to dance with each other, chatted about old times but it didn't stop there, ...
A. 15 February 2008: Hi Anom,
I know you dont want to so this but the only answer i can give here is to let you sister in on what happened. She will find out later on and it is better from you than him. You say you are a very close family means you wont be able to ... (read in full...)
I feel like I give so much to this relationship and don't get as much in return! How do I change the balance?
Q. My b/f takes me for granted! How do I stop being such a doormat? Again, this Valentine's Day he did nothing for me. He didn't plan anything special, cook me breakfast...it was just another day. Yet I found the time to get him his favorite ...
A. 14 February 2008: Hi Anom,
Believe me they are alot more people in your situation that you realise. My case is quite the reverse, he does all this wonderful stuff for me and i was laid back. But after a while in the relationship i started reciprocating just to ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to go to church with my friend just because my husband doesn't like her?
Q. My husband doesn't like my female friend. I have been friends with her for 14 years and I know her family well. Over the last year she had been really going down hill, drinking, drugs, promiscuity, irratic behavior, lieing, using people, not ...
A. 14 February 2008: Hi rcn,
This is for you. you must have misuderstood my post.
I never said she shouldnt meet her friend in the church, it is clearly not implied in any way in my posting. If you read my post carefully you will see that whilst i think church is ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to go to church with my friend just because my husband doesn't like her?
Q. My husband doesn't like my female friend. I have been friends with her for 14 years and I know her family well. Over the last year she had been really going down hill, drinking, drugs, promiscuity, irratic behavior, lieing, using people, not ...
A. 13 February 2008: Hi, It is clear why your husband is concerned. I know deep down you understand he worries about you and he obviously have lost his trust for her. I do agree with you and i dont feel you should abandon her right now because i couldnt do t... (read in full...)
Should I ask him how he feels, or will this corner him, and if he doesn't feel it yet, will he ever? We're both divorced.
Q. Hi Ive been with my bf for 7 months now and things have been great. He lives a bit of a distance which makes dropping by not possible but get together weekends. These are blissful even tho we dont do much just enjoy each other's company. We do ca...
A. 13 February 2008: Hiya,
If i was in your shoes i think i would ask him how he feels. I think it does matter to you and is your mind which is undestandable because seven months is quite some time to develop really strong feelings/ bonds with him and also him with... (read in full...)
Why does he kiss with his eyes open???
Q. I'm with my boyfriend however the only thing I can't understand is when we're out and we kiss he kisses me with his eyes open. We are so close and love being with each other and I know he completly adores me but why does he kiss me with eyes open ...
A. 13 February 2008: Jay-c,
Strange isnt it? I would feel the same too. Perhaps u can ask him why he does that.
Plenty Hugs
Kelly... (read in full...)
If he wanted to be mates then why hasn't he contacted me??
Q. Please help, It's driving me mad i still really like my ex b/f even though we split in December with him finishing it saying he did not feel the same about me as i did for him. IM NOT SURE IF IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST EVER B/F OR WHAT but ...
A. 11 February 2008: Hi, I know it is difficult but try to move on. there are lots of fishes out there. You are still very young, u shouldnt waste your time with a guy who apparently has made it clear he doesnt have feelings. I know it is hard since he is your first... (read in full...)
How can I help her decide what to do??
Q. My lady roomate/lover whom I really love, has gotten 2nd thoughts about her impending divorce from her abusive, lying husband. We have just (mutually,though she didn't want to) cut off contact from her for 2 or 3 weeks to let her remember why she ...
A. 11 February 2008: Hi, I am afraid she has to take time to sort out her divorce from her husband before she can have the emotional balance to start anything pure and clear with you. Her feelings are tied now. That is why alot of people take time after a divorce ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he treat me like a princess any more?
Q. I've got a big problem, and it hurts me more all the time... Me and my boyfriend of 16months are madly in love, and have always been ever since we first met. But he's been having a bad few days recently, including today, and he's started being a ...
A. 11 February 2008: hi, Talk to him as the other aunt advised. And dont keep it inside and pretend what he says doesnt matter. Let him know the instance he says it that it is unwarranted and not nice. Even if he wants to express his opinion they are nicer ways he co... (read in full...)
Which one of us should make the first move after our row?
Q. What is the best thing to do after a bad argument with your long term boyfriend in terms of who makes the peace gestures. My bf walked out on me after a big argument which he started due to being in a bad mood. He said it was all over and he was ...
A. 11 February 2008: Hi, Oh no you shouldnt be the one to apologise at all after he said it is all over. I wouldnt even bother thinking about him if i were you. Go out and enjoy yourself and meet someone nice. If at all you even want to consider him back at all... (read in full...)
I don't want to have an affair but I don't want a life without passion...what should I do??
Q. I was 22 (1990) when I met my ex who at the time was 46. We dated for 2 1/2 years. We had so much fun together. We enjoyed each others' company. The sex was unbelievable. Everything about the relationship was passionate. He was really hung up on ...
A. 10 February 2008: Hi,
If you dont want an affair then you shouldnt have one.
Perhaps you are dreaming about what might no longer exist. It was a good time while it was let it remain that way instead of having regrets.
As the other aunt advised u should sh... (read in full...)
How can I confront my friends about feeling second best??
Q. I have alot of mates but i keep on feeling left out. One of my freinds we go out we walk to school and we talk on a regular basis but there is no mention of me on her myspace but she mentions all of her other freinds witch i am hurt by. I like a b...
A. 10 February 2008: Hi,
I think your voice remains unheard. you have to speak up and le your friends know what they are doing wrong.
Lots of love
kelly... (read in full...)
My bf needs to treat me better and I am falling for somebody else.
Q. I don't know what to do i am in love with 2 people. I am going out with this lad for 3 weeks and is going really well. I have only known him for 2 months though but this other lad i have known for 4 years and i am really good friends with him but...
A. 10 February 2008: Hi,
Tell your boyfriend what he is doing wrong.
As for this other guy, if u have know him for 4yrs perhaps friendship is all there is to it for now. Enjoy that with him.
kelly
... (read in full...)
After the first pregnancy our lives became incredibly stressed. Now she's pregnant again! I'm terrified of more problems!
Q. Hi guys Have been in a relationship for 7 years and to begin with everything was great. We were young couple (16 and 20) and almost immediatley were infatuated with each other. At the time I was having a tough time as my mother was terminal...
A. 13 July 2007: Hi there,
Heard alot about post natal depression(PND) most especially after actress brooke shields went through it.
I think you have been strong for your partner and have been there for your son as well. You have dealt with things so well a... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone who is very overweight and won't try to lose it!
Q. What do I do if the person I'm in a serious relationship with, desiring marriage mostly on their part, is 135+ lbs overweight and despite my encouraging request to my significant other to lose weight and eat healthier has done almost nothing, if ...
A. 6 July 2007: Hi,
Do you do it together? Perhaps u can try going with him to the gymn and cultivating the same eating habits. Make it a routine like twice a week or so..Maybe if u get involved as well it might help encourage him.
Hope this helped abit.
... (read in full...)
I'm so tired of the turbulence in our marriage; what should I do?
Q. hi everyone well i just am very confused, i thought that my husband loved me and lately i just feel like he doesnt, i mean i admit ive done something; but there not anything that i wouldnt of done before we got married like going out with my ...
A. 6 July 2007: Hi there,
I can see you are really worn out. There is alot going on in your marriage but what i do believe is that u really love him and i feel he does love you as well. In that case i can only advise you to try counselling. The issue both of ... (read in full...)
My husband treats me so badly but I don't want to leave for our kids; what can I do?
Q. Hello, My husband and I have been married for 4 years, but together for 7. He's is 24, and I am 25. This is also my 2nd marriage. My husband just recently got out of the military. He was a military cop, so he has that attitude like a cop. He is also ...
A. 6 July 2007: Hi there,
I know you want the best for your kids and their father to be there for them but you cant compromise your own future happiness. His family might be really nice alos but they arent going to be there with you when he treats you bad. Mar... (read in full...)
We have so many problems; should I move on?
Q. I'm a 20 something year old with a 49yr old man. When he met me I partied very hard and I wore very little clothing. Now I wear covering up clothing which I love cause it leaves imagintion to the people, but makes him made to see people still ...
A. 6 July 2007: Hi,
I can see clearly from your posting that right now he has alot on his plate and so do you! I dont think you are over reacting at all, all these most be overwhelmming for anyone.
My advise is that you shouldnt continuing build your life ... (read in full...)
Does he just want to play the field?
Q. me and this guy were friends for three years and then we got closer so we decided to date or w/e and then after we were "talking" for 3 months until he called and said that he doesnt think we should try any more just because he was going off to ...
A. 27 June 2007: Dear Lucy,
Your relationship must not have an easy for him/you most especially your dad not approving and now he is going off to college. Alot of people still struggle to be together and work through it but so many fall short.What u can do now i... (read in full...)
The 'spark' has died for me but he still loves me and everyone says I'm lucky; I don't feel it
Q. My bf and I have been dating about three or four months now. He loves me, he's told me so and he's moving very very fast, even talking about the future - marriage, moving in together, having babies, etc... He's a very nice, sweet, consider...
A. 27 June 2007: Dear Anom,
From what i see in your post you seem unsure about your feelings for now. If you are contemplating they might change.
What i can advise you to do for now is take some time off the relationship to think. Perhaps u need space, mayb... (read in full...)
My close friends unfairly abandoned me; I feel like I can't finish school
Q. I'm 16, almost turning 17. A month ago, I was full of life, had lots of friends and my grades were pretty good. a couple weeks later, I got accused of backstabbing by my friends and all of them, now, hate or dislike me. I did not do what they had ...
A. 27 June 2007: Dear Anom,
I understand how it feels like. We have all being through that at one time or the other. This is real life training for you. You have experiences with all sort of people and this helps shape the person you become. If you are a fan of b... (read in full...)
I feel depressed and don't know why
Q. Hi, I am a 21 year old female. I have been dating my boyfriend for 15 months now .our relationship has recently become serious. We have slept together, he said he loved me 4 months into the relationship and says he wants to marry me someday. He i...
A. 22 June 2007: i Jackie69,
I think u are going thru a phase right now and would encourage u to keep up with the consultation. Think about the positive things u have in this life and picture alot who cant dont have any.Take a holiday with ur bf to somewher... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and never been kissed or had a bf! Any advice?
Q. Hi, im 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend nor been kissed...I keep telling myself its God's will or that the time will come. Yet I really dont understand. I dont think its my looks since people keep telling me im good looking (and i mean ...
A. 20 June 2007: Hi,
i had my first boyfriend and kiss at 22. In my own case i was extremely picky and careful. My parents didnt help also for they were very strict and would never admit i was grown up! Anyway once i started dating it came naturally and i came to ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but he still loves his ex
Q. I met this guy a little over a week ago and we hit it off immediatly. He told me straight up he was still in love w/ his ex and the reason they werent together is because she was in love w/ someone else and couldnt make up her mind who she wants to ...
A. 20 June 2007: I agree with the other aunt here. He has feelings for now you cant change and he has to deal with before he can consider dating again. It might be best to follow your head and stay friends.... (read in full...)
Do I keep fighting or just move on?
Q. Hi, I'm not sure what to do. Last week my b/f and I split after a year because the distance was too much. However I've been regretting it ever since but we both came to this decision for a reason. If I choose to fight for it then I know its going to ...
A. 20 June 2007: Hi dear,
It is never easy with long distance, but it can work and has been know to. If i was in your position and i really loved himi would fight to make it work.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
He's told me if I don't sleep with him, he'll do something nasty!! Help!
Q. my boyfriend asked me if i wanted sex i told him i didnt not right now weve only been going out for 3 months. he said if i didn't have it soon then he will do something nasty! i've tried to tell my mum and his mm but they won't help! can you h...
A. 18 June 2007: sorry. i meant you seem very smart. dont give in to him. Goodluck... (read in full...)
He's told me if I don't sleep with him, he'll do something nasty!! Help!
Q. my boyfriend asked me if i wanted sex i told him i didnt not right now weve only been going out for 3 months. he said if i didn't have it soon then he will do something nasty! i've tried to tell my mum and his mm but they won't help! can you h...
A. 18 June 2007: Hi dear,
I agree with stina here. I would like to suggest you forget about this guy. He obviously doesnt respect or care about you and what you want. I seem very smart,make sure u dont give in to his intentions at all, he will make u regret i... (read in full...)
| kellyO's friends
These are mutual friends, so kellyO has
added them and they have added kellyO!
|
