A
female
age
41-50,
*eneer
writes:My boyfriend and I been together 0ff and on, but now we been together for 8 months and when we out and about he dont hold my hand. He still tell people that i am his friend and we live together and he only holds me when he want sex. i can sleep naked and all he do is turn over and go to sleep. i getting really tired of it Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 March 2017):
 So why are you still with him? Surely you know you deserve better than this, he seems to only use you for sex.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (10 March 2017):
"He still tell people that i am his friend"
If I put this on a bill board...the biggest bill board the world has ever seen...Would you get it????
Let me guess...You are hoping if you stick around long enough....He will change...right?
MEN DO NOT CHANGE!!!!! We learn to be different...and unless HE is willing to learn...you are having sex with a fool...and anyone who chooses to have sex with a fool, hoping for a better fool...is what?
When a man loves you...really loves...You will not have to question.
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A
female
reader, 13680042  +, writes (10 March 2017):
You deserve someone who will make you feel loved, respected and like the only girl in the world, it's hard to come by someone like that but it's definitely worth the wait, it's okay to be a little bit fussy with guys. I thought I'd never find someone but I found the love of my life, someone who treats me so amazing, been together a year and never even had a disagreement. Ditch this guy, he doesn't sound very nice at all, your Prince Charming will come around one day for sure and trust me it happens when you stop looking and when you least expect it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (8 March 2017):
 It begs the question whether he is embarrassed by you and only with you for the occasional leg-over, to have a house keeper/cook or to share expenses.
You are obviously and understandably unhappy with the casual way he treats you. Are you prepared to give him an ultimatum: either shape up or ship out? If not, then he has no motive to change and will carry on treating you in this disrespectful and uncaring way because you allow it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2017): Hey ladies, some guys just aren't the romantic-type! You have to go down the check-list; and weigh the pros and cons before you make these guys your boyfriend or husband. If you want this and that, he has to already have those traits or attributes.
If you don't set firm criteria or standards; you're settling. Be realistic, of course. Live-up to your own standards. If you've settled, don't complain!
Dating and courtship is the evaluation-process and probationary-period done before you hitch your wagon.
If you're needy and desperate, you may unwisely forgo these necessary steps. At your own risk, and to your own peril!
Some guys you can teach and coach; because they never saw their dads or other male role-models do these things. This is learned-behavior. They must be eager students and absolutely adorable. Sometimes we guys are just a little clumsy. The key is; he must be so lovable you can clearly see his potential. He has to be a quick-learner, or he doesn't make the team.
Disclaimer: Not to be misinterpreted as trying to change or recreate him. That's stupid. You can't squeeze orange juice out of a turnip.
If you've tried and get no results, you can't make him do what he doesn't want to do. It has to come naturally, but a little coaxing/coaching is okay. Sometimes they just aren't sure what to do. Rarely, is this the case. If he's a man, and not a boy! Case in point, if he really wants you!
You've seen signs that this guy is a jerk; but you're ignoring all the red-flags. He doesn't acknowledge you as his committed-partner/girlfriend. He's indifferent to your attempts to be sexy and alluring, in order to seduce him. He only gets affectionate before sex. Then rolls-over to sleep after he gets-off.
If he calls you a "friend" in-front of people, why do you call him your boyfriend? You're apparently not on the same page!
It has to be officially declared to all, in order for it to be established that you are exclusive and a committed-couple. He must refer to your connection as a relationship!
If he can't say the word, you ain't got one!
That means spread by word of mouth, once a mutual-agreement has been established; and demonstrated through his actions thereafter. This includes all I have mentioned! You are otherwise friends with benefits! It is not presumed because you have regular sex; nor by the "three-date rule."
He has set the terms, and by not addressing the issue; you have silently agreed to them. You have to read the small-print and disclaimers! Only in this case, they're written in BOLD PRINT! "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!"
Therefore; until your relationship is clearly defined; your options are open, and you can date whomever you please. Which is precisely what he's trying to convey regarding his own position in this situation. He's trying to be clever.
He's still on the market, girlfriend!
I'd say you have enough evidence to drop-kick that sucker over the goal post; and do your victory dance.
If you're not getting what you want, after eight months; then you must cut your losses and move on. It's not your responsibility to change him; or waste your time waiting to see if he ever will.
Life is too short. Your time is precious, and you have to be wise enough to know when you're wasting it.
You deserve better for all the trouble. You don't keep investing your time and resources in a losing proposition.
Clean house, girlfriend! He goes, and everything with him on it! Get his smell out of your house! Then go no-contact, and kick the habit cold-turkey until all the cramps from emotional-withdrawal go-away!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 March 2017):
 My husband has never been a hand holder and we rarely kiss in public. In April we will celebrate our 42nd anniversay. But you can bet the farm that he couldn't wait to introduce me as his girlfriend when we were dating. He will cuddle with me without a sexual adgenda and by golly I know I am certainly asking for it if I go to bed nude,lol. Sweetheart this relationship isn't making you happy. If you have spoken to him about this and nothing changes then it's time to cut bait and move to another pond.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 March 2017):
 So why are you with him?
You are obviously NOT fulfilled and he is NOT committed to this relationship. Calling you a "friend"? Ouch!
So is he living with YOU or vice verse?
If he is living with you kick him out, cut the contact and move on. WHY be with someone who SO publicly expresses his disinterest in you?
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