A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (I am 31, he is 41, together for a year)and I have been fighting a lot. We are trying to work things out. When we fight he says that he shuts down emotionally and stops feeling love towards me. He refused to say "I love you" because he said he didn't want to 'lie'. When he is no longer angry then he is back to his loving self. Is this normal? I questioned him about it and he says that even though he doesn't 'feel' love when he is angry he 'knows' that he loves me. This makes zero sense to me.He is also not contacting me as much (we live 3 hours away from eachother). It seems like he is losing interest. I have tried to talk to him about it but he keeps saying that he does want to be with me. His main issue is that I am extremely needy and constantly try to contact him while he is at work. I have been working on this issue. When we are together things are awesome, but as soon as I go home then it's like I drop off the face of the earth. He will call daily but it seems as though it is more out of obligation. We have already broken up once because of this. Any suggestions?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): Well he DOES say he loves me. When we are getting along. When we aren't then he says he doesn't feel any love towards me at all. Usually though he won't say I love you first, but will say I love you too.
I don't know. There's a few things I am confused about
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 I spent six years with a woman who never said, "I love you." Subsequently, I "learned" that she didn't....
Sometimes, what people DON'T say tells you all you need to know.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 Hi
Just leave him be, dont keep demanding he says he loves you,dont keep annoying him when hes at work, dont make him your focus in life.Find distractions, friends,going out,other interests.Dont be needy and available.
Let him come to you,contact you,let him WORK for your time and attention.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 "I have been working on this issue" is an euphemism for "I still am extremely needy and constantly try to contact him while he is at work". Solving this would be a great step.
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