A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,this could be confusing, but im confused too, sooo here it goes ive been seeing this guy as a friends with benefits since may 26th 2012, its now august 2nd, and were still seing eachother as that. I am falling for him and im not sure what i should do, i really would like to get out of this friends with benefit stuff and get into an actual relationship with him. But on the other hand im not sure if we actually moved into having a relationship, the other day he asked me to meet up with him, i was with a bestfriend (girl) so i brought her along with me, and when he came to my car, he kissed me, we do makeout and hanggout infront of his friends and my friends, we plan stuff to go camping/beach, hangouts as if it was a relationship but my main question is.. does it sound like a friends with benefits or an actual relationship.
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 In this vein thought, don't ALL relationships start off as FWB, because feelings of love take a long time to develop? Many people don't hold off on sex at the start of relationships but you still have no idea if this is the person you want to be with for life. Sometimes things grown naturally, but at some point you have to talk about feelings and expectations, or you are just in denial.
A
male
reader, Becker0109  +, writes (8 August 2012):
It sounds like the FWB is growing into a relationship. FYI, FWB is a relationship too, just different.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 If, officially, the relationship is "friends with benefits", then that is all it is.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Oh boy. First of all, it's not a relationship unless both of you talk it out and *start* a new relationship. Assuming it's automatically become one because you're falling for him and he's acting all affection in public is a first class ticket to you getting emotionally crushed.
The very idea of FWB is sex without strings. This means that both of you use each other until one of you decides to do something else. You can date and have sex with anyone else you like while on FWB, and it is not actually a relationship. This tends in the long run to benefit guys because most women are far more susceptable to develop feelings of emotional bonding in this arrangement.
Also, another common misconception is that FWB is a step into a relationship. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many women get into this arrangement thinking that their sex with the guy will cause the guy to fall for them. It simply doesn't happen that way.
If you're interested in starting a relationship with him, you can do nothing short of telling him your feelings and asking him if he's interested in becoming more than FWB and becoming exclusive in actual dating. He can either say yes or no, and this is a risk, as most guys who never wanted to commit will distance themselves from a girl who starts making demands or wanting commitment. However, that plays into your favor as well because if he doesn't feel the same way as you, it's best to end things now, or you will *really* get hurt.
I'll say it again -- no matter what, you are NOT in an actual relationship. Doesn't matter if he's out snogging on you in public or taking you out on dates. Having the "girlfriend experience" isn't the same as actually having a girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, 0Guest0  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Hi,
Its not about how it sounds. You guys are still in friends with benefit coz its related just to sex, right? Have you confessed about your feelings to him? Did you tell him that you have fallen for him and would like to start a relationship? A relationship involves COMMITMENT and LOVE. Does he feel the same about you? Do he love you? If you want a real relationship with him then you will have to confess about your feelings to him and talk to him on this matter.
Good luck :)
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