A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My BF is 40 and lives with his mom how do i get him to move foward with our relationship and move out from her? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): If his mother isn't in need of immediate care and looking after, then I think you need to discuss why he's reluctant to move out, and does he even want anything more from this relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): Have you actually discussed this with him, or is this something that is just bothering you?
The fact that he's not left the family home yet, suggests to you he is simply unwilling to.
What about the obvious fact:
I noticed a good point others brought up about his mother being in her later years, and he maybe staying with her to look after her... Has this been considered?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Why does he live with her?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Hi
OK so Mom is aged anywhere from 55 to 85 and if the latter she may be in need of a little more support.
I would look at how the relationship seems between them to see if he is in too deep as the docile attending servant like son VERSUS a son who is secure within himself and has his own life and makes his own decisions and is not tiesd to Mom's apron strings.
Because sometimes two adult people who are related and are not a couple in a sexual relationship can lived happily and have indepenant lives.
Plus I would assess how demanding is Mom? Does she require constant attention provided to her or does she clearly accept and support her son having his own life?
Do you think he is required to give too much in attendance towards his mother's needs, meeting all her needs and placing her and him into a position where she says "jump" and he says "how high?"
Or is she an Independant Mom who has her own range of friends and her own active outside interests?
If Mom is independant and lives her own life and not overly clingy towards her son then she may be great as someone you will warm to and learn to like and spend time with.
However if Mom needs his input into everything and there appears to be far too much evidence of her being so very demanding such that your guy seems to not have much of a life outside tending to Mom's needs and cannot envisage ever living his own life independantly then I would say run.
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A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Not alot of information to go on, today things are tough many live at home, dont know if there is other reasons beside financial that would keep him home. I am over 40 and moved back home isnt a problem for my BF also recently he moved back home his mom not well...so Im not sure why its a problem for you? privacy? not independent? other...tell me more.
I think unless hes a baby and has his mommy doing everything for him and hes comfortable and sees no reaason to be ambitious to be independent that would be the only thing I would run away from. If its just logical financial reason or health reason then no need to worry? If you dont like it then maybe get a new bf.? Hope this sheds some light.
Peace and love
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A
female
reader, Bitterlysweet +, writes (14 August 2012):
 First of all you can't just tell him to move out. It's hard for us to give an advice when you are not explaining (how long you guys have been together, is he working, is he stable with his job, is he respobsible, or what's the reason that he's still with his parents,, for example are they ill?) There's a lot that you would have to explain to us first in order for us to give an advice.
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