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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Is grinding with other guys considered as cheating?
Q. I have a boyfriend and I have girls night out sometimes. So here's my question: Grinding/dancing with other guys considered as cheating? I mean, i wouldn't want my bf to be upset if i dance with other guys but my gfs tell me it's fine... what are ...
A. 1 March 2011: The next question is whether the relationship is good enough for the poster to even need to determine whether grinding is fine or not.... (read in full...)
She rejected me but I am sure there were some signals from her! What do I do now?
Q. Help! I met this girl... I was at a Karoke bar, she was with her 3 friends, and when I got up to sing, I asked for her name. When I sat back down, she called me over and we got chatting. She asked me to come along with her and her friends. ...
A. 1 March 2011: My humble opinion is that you should tell her, in unequivocal, unmistakable terms, that you are not going to play pool with her, because you love her, she rejected you, and your being near her will make it very likely that you'll still have feelings ... (read in full...)
She rejected me but I am sure there were some signals from her! What do I do now?
Q. Help! I met this girl... I was at a Karoke bar, she was with her 3 friends, and when I got up to sing, I asked for her name. When I sat back down, she called me over and we got chatting. She asked me to come along with her and her friends. ...
A. 28 February 2011: You should read the signals correctly and keep your distance from this lady. Besides, you have to find yourself someone else. Keep due note of this: she already told you, up front, that she would rather be alone than in a bad relationship, and ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to finger women?
Q. I am just curious why guys like to finger their girlfriend? Do they get any pleasure beside her returning him a favour like a bj?...
A. 28 February 2011: Mr. Fluffy Pie is right.... (read in full...)
Does body size matter to a guy?
Q. Do men find a curvy body attractive??? I am short lol! Only 5'4" JUST!!! and I am not a skinny girl like, I wish I was more hourglass too, my measurements are 38-35-42 and I just want to know, do guys like girls with a bit extra on the bottom a...
A. 28 February 2011: I agree with Dobro: beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. So do enjoyable women :-). So, don't worry.... (read in full...)
Am I puritan for staying a virgin at 18?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl who is a virgin. All of my friends have had sexual relations prior to turning 18. They say I am a puritan and should be having sex at my age. I think I am right in that I want to wait until I am married. Am I wrong ?...
A. 27 February 2011: Ditto, fi the tree.... (read in full...)
Should I continue to sleep in the same bed as my soon to be ex wife?
Q. My wife of 25 years notified me several months ago, that she doesnt love me anymore and wants a divorce. We went to marriage counseling for a few months, and she told me yesterday, the counseling hasn't worked, and she still wants to divorce me. ...
A. 25 February 2011: I wouldn't sleep in the same bed with her. It would be very difficult for me. The parrot would make a better companion (they usually do).
But there's one more thing: Have you talked to your kids about the divorce? If you haven't, my opinion ... (read in full...)
My small boobs are killing my relationships!
Q. Okay I have really big problems with my relationships.. I have very small boobs between size AA and A (not very sure). When I meet a guys who I like, Im scared to let them get close to me. Often guys asking me out and saying that im nice person.....
A. 24 February 2011: You say you can't let him fall in love with you because you're such a flat one. Don't you think that is for him to say?... (read in full...)
Why does my partner sleep with my clothing that I accidentally left at his place?
Q. hey guys just a curious question i left a shirt of mine in my partners car for quite some time, and today when i went to his new place, he kept it in his bed under his pillow. would anyone know why he does it? Occasionaly i forget to take things w...
A. 24 February 2011: Yep to all dirtball said.... (read in full...)
Should I send him a message apologizing?
Q. I joined a dating website a couple of months ago. There is a feature where you can see who's checking you out, and I noticed that this one guy kept showing up. I found him really interesting and attractive, so I messaged him. He was really sweet, ...
A. 24 February 2011: No apologies necessary. You didn't do anything wrong. Just move on.... (read in full...)
Still casually sleeping with my ex, but he sees us as "just friends"
Q. Why do I have no self control when it comes to my ex? We broke up over a year ago and I am still casually sleeping with him. I can't stop thinking about him as I'm deeply in love with him. He on the other hand wants to be single but also h...
A. 24 February 2011: You're still in love, but I'm not sure he is.
Your situation is very difficult. He is still "sorta", "kinda" giving you what you want, yet he doesn't. And you're waiting for him to come back in full, yet he doesn't, yet he doesn't go.
You hav... (read in full...)
Guys help me out, why does my boyfriend still check out women?
Q. My boyfriend is a huge flirt and he works in bars as a sound guy for bands, so he's around lots of women. He also admits he would rather talk to women, it's more fun... Not sure he would actually cheat on me, but not crazy about this or comfortable ...
A. 23 February 2011: Because he likes it and he feels that is OK with you.... (read in full...)
The perils of a blind trust.
Q. When I met my boyfriend online in August 2010, what we found out about each other was that we were both Christians seeking a committed partner and shared a lot in common. Though we had differing views sexwise (i did not believe in pre-marital sex ...
A. 23 February 2011: Mr. Religious never learned the 9th commandment. He wants his manna and eat it, too.
That, however, does not mean he imposed his sex views on you. You agreed to having sex with him. He was just unfaithful. Which means you're asking the wron... (read in full...)
Can I stay with my bf who, at 45, is terrible at money management and always in a financial crisis?
Q. My bf always seems to have a financial crisis. I met my bf for over a year now. Few months after we were dating exclusive, I noticed that he was always anxious about money. Though, he doesn’t make lots of money but he works full time and make ar...
A. 23 February 2011: I can help you understand. The man is generous and money is not that important to him, except as a means to his ends. Which don't seem to be drugs or whores or the like, but mere generosity.
This nice Rip Van Winkle is very much unlike you in t... (read in full...)
Help! Arranged marriage...
Q. Hi Friends. This is hard to explain. My Boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago and we are both broken hearted and in pieces because of this. It is not a usual break up where the relationship is bad or things get tough it came out of the ...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, I think there is no way out of this unless you two are willing to break a rule or two and get married.
I know that he could marry another woman but I have the feeling this is not what you want. Or he.
Can't he just say he wouldn't marr... (read in full...)
Why do people think of single mothers as taboo and easy? Need help finding decent men!
Q. It's been two years now that I've been doing the single parent thing, (I'm over my divorce). And... I can't tell you how disappointing it's been for me, to merge back into society with a different status. I recently stopped attending this mega chu...
A. 19 February 2011: Your mother and stepfather are crazy.... (read in full...)
Why do people think of single mothers as taboo and easy? Need help finding decent men!
Q. It's been two years now that I've been doing the single parent thing, (I'm over my divorce). And... I can't tell you how disappointing it's been for me, to merge back into society with a different status. I recently stopped attending this mega chu...
A. 19 February 2011: I don't think people who come to Dear Cupid for advice are silly. They are just people in need of advice. Sorry if my blunt way of responding made you feel like you're silly, but you're not.
Yes, I can imagine dating as a single woman is easy,... (read in full...)
My fiance and I have been together a year and I'm a virgin. But is he a sex addict?
Q. Hello, i've been in relationship for a year, and then got engaged to a guy, but i feel inside he is sex addicted. we 've never been in a sexual relationship and i am still virgin, even in my thoughts about love.. last time we went out we were exc...
A. 19 February 2011: So you have no evidence to claim that he's a sex addict; just your hunch.
I still am of the same opinion. If you like this, do it; if you don't, don't do it.
His putting your hand "you know where" does not mean he doesn't respect you.... (read in full...)
Cold shoulder...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 27 years old and recently connected with a classmate from high school. We have been seeing each other for the past 2 weeks. One night we both had quite a bit to drink and he told me that he was scared because he could easily fal...
A. 19 February 2011: It sounds that he does fancy you but doesn't want to give in. Maybe your telling him that you like him too will bring him to you, but, maybe not. It sounds like something stops him.... (read in full...)
Why do people think of single mothers as taboo and easy? Need help finding decent men!
Q. It's been two years now that I've been doing the single parent thing, (I'm over my divorce). And... I can't tell you how disappointing it's been for me, to merge back into society with a different status. I recently stopped attending this mega chu...
A. 19 February 2011: Well, you will have to go on dates, and eventually you will find a man who'll be just right. "Decent men" do exist but I'm afraid they don't congregate in a single place where women can find them and date them easily.
I understand you're feeling ... (read in full...)
He's unmotivated, unemployed and I'm feeling emotionally detached from him. Should I break up with him?
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advise. I am 23 years old and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. He is such an amazing man. I have never been treated so well in a relationship. We do EVERYTHING together. If we are not working or in ...
A. 19 February 2011: I agree with Chocoholic.... (read in full...)
My fiance and I have been together a year and I'm a virgin. But is he a sex addict?
Q. Hello, i've been in relationship for a year, and then got engaged to a guy, but i feel inside he is sex addicted. we 've never been in a sexual relationship and i am still virgin, even in my thoughts about love.. last time we went out we were exc...
A. 19 February 2011: Well, if you want to put your hands on the area where his penis IS, do it. If you don't want that, don't. This is up to you.
I do know why he did that. He wanted you to touch his penis.
I don't see how doing this makes him a sex addict. Did... (read in full...)
I'm widowed and slept with a married man. For once in my life I want to be selfish and just do what I want!
Q. I have been widowed for a year and have 2 children. This doesn't leave me a lot of time to date or even meet someone. I do miss having sex but I am not ready for a relationship and may never be, given the circumstances of my previous marriage and ...
A. 10 February 2011: I beg to differ with Strontiumdog. Yes, the husband is choosing to cheat. But the poster is choosing to sleep with the wife's man, knowing full well that this would bring serious consequences to the woman. It is not as if the poster has no ... (read in full...)
I'm widowed and slept with a married man. For once in my life I want to be selfish and just do what I want!
Q. I have been widowed for a year and have 2 children. This doesn't leave me a lot of time to date or even meet someone. I do miss having sex but I am not ready for a relationship and may never be, given the circumstances of my previous marriage and ...
A. 10 February 2011: What about the wife?
I know this is not the case here, but, if you want sex with no strings attached, you can go to a singles bar and will find lots of "no strings attached" men willing to do just that. You can be selfish and have your relief w... (read in full...)
Has she lost interest? Changed her mind?
Q. i would greatly appericate the help you would give me, and the advice. I have been going out with a divorced lady for about a month now.she is cool, smart, funny, good work parties, she has a hard exterior but a soft interior, shy, and single. ...
A. 10 February 2011: To answer your questions: yes, she has lost interest and changed her mind. No, you're not her friend; she said you could be friends to soften the blow and nothing else. And, you should be meeting new people.
You strike me as a good guy who ... (read in full...)
I have an obsession to help needy men!
Q. What is wrong with me? I dont understand why my relationships dont work. I know I have a problem and an obsession to help men. I always take guys who is NOTHING unemployed etc etc. Allow them to move in with me and my 2 kids !!! Help them to ...
A. 9 February 2011: This is very clear. You pick up needy people who understand they can take advantage of you and do it. Once they get whatever they can get from you, they leave. They already have everything they could get from you.
The solution is very easy. J... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend stand up for me and correct his mom?
Q. My boyfriends mum called me trailer trash and that she thought so hard to get me excepted into his family because s have 2 children already. At one point his mum was ill and she assume's i stopped him seeing but he has not corrected her because he ...
A. 9 February 2011: He's too much under the influence of his mother, or he is not the best of guys, or both. Apparently, both.
This is a bad relationship. If he won't act, obviously you have. I don't really know what the best course of action would be, but you ... (read in full...)
Married man wants me but I don't want him!
Q. Hi Cupids. Can you give me some advice on how to handle a married man who I see everyday? We are both in relationships but have had an attraction between us. I do not want it to go any further. I have tried to distance myself in the past but keep ...
A. 9 February 2011: The Walking Dude gave you very good advice. Tell him very clearly just what you told us.... (read in full...)
The ex wants to have sex with me but nothing serious! Do I do it or what???
Q. As with my previous posts, my sons mum said she will never take me back. yet. 2 weeks ago i was in the gym, fully prepared to try and move on, ive been doing much better of late, well im there and this really attractive woman sits nearby, i ...
A. 9 February 2011: I agree with the first poster, but I think that the two of you need to think straight and define what it is you guys want. Mind-blowing sex might need to stop for a while, because, well, it blows your minds.... (read in full...)
There will be no communication for 9 months but he can't accept it and we keep fighting about it!
Q. We are a young couple in love, hes more than likely proposing this summer. We are the cute high school sweethearts. I chose to go to a Christian college for 9 months, which means no communication with him. You spend your entire time focused on God ...
A. 9 February 2011: When you're your age (and his), 9 months seem like a very long time. Particularly if there will be no contact at all. You know, I'm not him, and still I wonder why it just has to be that way.
Perhaps he feels that you won't be returning to him a... (read in full...)
Why cant't I distinguish between love and sex?
Q. Hi all, I have a question. Please can you enlighten me on this.I have had a series of bad relationships with emotionally abusive men. I know this is to do with my self esteem which I am currently working on by going to see a therapist every week, ...
A. 8 February 2011: A man may be the wrong person to answer this question, because men don't have any trouble at all distinguishing sex from love. You know, sex is sex, the physical act only, and love is love, and it may even not include the physical act. This isn't ... (read in full...)
My husband lies to me constantly!!!
Q. My husband lies to me constantly. I am sick and tired of accepting his lies because he does love me. I am sure of that. I can't stand a liar. He lies to me because he doesn't want me to get mad at him. I am to the point that I feel it is necessary ...
A. 8 February 2011: Tell him that you're sick of his lying! Yeah! Be blunt and say you've had enough!... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy promises to call at a certain time but he calls an hour or more after?
Q. What does it mean when a guy promises to call at a certain time but he calls an hour or more after? I am talking to this guy who already told me that he wants a future with me, but he keeps making me uncomfortable by his failure to keep his word...
A. 8 February 2011: 1) That guy is me (wrong option)
2) That guy is a Latin American (wrong option, I hope)
3) Although he is not me, or Latin American, he has a lot of trouble sticking to schedules
4) He didn't want to look desperate
5) Something came up
... (read in full...)
Who should I believe... my boyfriend or my friends?
Q. My friends I havent seen in years, are telling me that my bf tried to play them but my other friends and boyfriend are telling me that they played him and i dont know who i should believe!!!! My friends are like my sisters and i love them but i love ...
A. 8 February 2011: Nope, I can't help you, because I don't know the particulars of the case.... (read in full...)
How often do women wear wedding rings when they're not married?
Q. I have a question. How often do women wear wedding rings when they're not married? I know why they do it. To scare away guys who want to ask them out, or annoy them with sexual advances. It's a sneaky trick. I'm thinking of doing it myself to kee...
A. 8 February 2011: If you wear a wedding ring and you're not taken, people will think you may not be married, but you're... under the control of some wicked girl (I'm censoring my own words, but the term that will actually come to people's minds ends in "whipped"). ... (read in full...)
Are guys attracted to "sweet" girls?
Q. Are guys attracted to "sweet" girls? I've been on a few dates, and a lot of times the guy will tell me that I'm "sweet." But they don't seem interested in me. Could they just be saying that as a nice gesture so they can walk away without har...
A. 8 February 2011: Please please.... (et cetera) please take no offense, but a person can be "sweet" and "uninteresting" at the same time. Guys are attracted to sweet girls, provided they are not too sweet.
These guys may have had different reasons not to continue... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I really DO like him and figure out how to start a relationship?
Q. dear cupid, soo, there's this guy, who we'll call jake. we're both 19 (he's about six months older than me). we met back in december when i was on my first date with his ex-best-friend, who i used to talk to (and no, i'm not the reason for their...
A. 8 February 2011: Tell him exaclty that. "I like you and I want to figure out if we can start a relationship" Things said up front have the benefits of being very clear and (usually) requiring a clear reaction from the other party.
I have the feeling that you... (read in full...)
My husband drinks and stays out till 3.30 in the morning. Is that normal?
Q. I've been married 2.5 years..My husband is british born and loves going out to a party. but his parties are all at the pub...they start in the evening and he doesnt come home till 2.30 or sometimes 4 in the morning. Earlier, it was once a week..but ...
A. 8 February 2011: Well, you're married to a drunk. Some people put up with that and some others don't. It seems you have had enough.
Maybe this is even silly for me to ask, but, have you tried telling him that you'll be leaving him if he continues to drink th... (read in full...)
(preferably guys) do you agree with this?
Q. Do you agree with this? ---- "when guys who keep trying to flirt with you but also make clear to you that he's not going to have a relationship with you... he's just trying to find a f*ck buddy or friends with benefits" If you don't agree with...
A. 7 February 2011: Very likely he's just trying to find a ffff buddy or a friend with benefits.... (read in full...)
Why would a man with a low libido reject his wife for sex, yet go and pursue and put effort into getting it elsewhere???
Q. My husband of 10 years has always had a low libido since I first met him. At first I thought this was good because I didnt want to be pressured into sex all the time by a man with a strong sex drive. I accepted this about him. However it became ...
A. 7 February 2011: It seems to me that he is one of those guys who feels that oral sex on his wife is degrading - to the wife.
It might also be that he needs some variety in the bedroom.... (read in full...)
Am I needy or is my boyfriend a prick?
Q. I need help deciding whether my anger at my boyfriend is justified. I live in Florida. He lives in Texas. I go visit him about once a month. In November he and I agreed that next weekend, Feb. 11 and 12, I would visit. I bought the plane ticket...
A. 7 February 2011: Answer: You are right. Period.... (read in full...)
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