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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Trapped in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years, wife won't have sex and won't say why she doesn't want to. Should I leave?
Q. I have been with my wife for almost 20 years now. We have had a sexless marriage for most of that time. We were arguing about it even just 1 year into the relationship. It's not that we never, ever have sex, but we go years in-between having i...
A. 19 July 2011: Sorry to be this blunt, but there has to be one reason why you stayed there for twenty years. The marriage is non-existent, the relationship is just bad, but you stay there. This, you're not sharing, and we don't need you to. If you want to ... (read in full...)
Is there a nice way to tell a guy that I'm not interested in dating anymore?
Q. I have been sort of dating this guy for a bit over a month, I'm physically attracted to him but that's it. I've been away for Xmas break. He texts me every day. He seems to really like me but I don't feel the same way. Is there an easy way to let ...
A. 19 July 2011: I like much of what the other two aunts posted. In particular, I like this:
Men like to hear the news in a upfront, honest way.
That is always the way to go. I also like this:
Just meet up with him for a drink and kindly tell him that you... (read in full...)
Do you think you can determine how attractive you are by how attractive the people who hit on you are?
Q. I think that the question pretty much says it all. Do you all think that you can only be as attractive as the most attractive person that hits on you or asks you out? So if people you consider good looking ask you out, you are probably good looking ...
A. 19 July 2011: Nope.... (read in full...)
What can I do? I have met a lovely new guy. But my ex still has a place in my heart, despite his cheating
Q. I'm in love with my ex boyfriend who wants us to get back together. He cheated on me with Hookers but says he is still in love with me. I have met a new guy and he is lovely but my heart still longs for my ex. Can I truely trust my ex. again...
A. 19 July 2011: Only you can tell. This is where you have to take chances.... (read in full...)
Do guys care if their girlfriend is taller than them?
Q. I have been talking to this guy my friend introduced to me too online for quite awhile and he's going to be in my area soon soon so we're going to meet in person. I am tall, 5"10 to be exact, and I know he is about four to five inches shorter t...
A. 19 July 2011: I would find that I can stare right at her boobs :-). Hey, I'm the devil, and a mischievous one...... (read in full...)
Husband says he didn't buy extras at a strip club, but he spent a lot of money.
Q. My husband went to a strip club (more than once) and spent alot of money. He says he had beers and a few dances, but no extras. I'm having a hard time believing his story, but don't want to end our 38 years of marriage, if he is telling the truth. ...
A. 19 July 2011: Well, this clarifies the situation. He was clearly overstepping.
Now you have to decide whether you will forget this or not.... (read in full...)
Husband says he didn't buy extras at a strip club, but he spent a lot of money.
Q. My husband went to a strip club (more than once) and spent alot of money. He says he had beers and a few dances, but no extras. I'm having a hard time believing his story, but don't want to end our 38 years of marriage, if he is telling the truth. ...
A. 19 July 2011: I am sorry to say this, but we cannot really know whether he did more than buy drinks and dances. Those things would be expensive anyways, but, no one but him knows how he really spent that money.
I see a problem in a husband going to a strip cl... (read in full...)
I want to study abroad but my husband really wants to buy a house.
Q. Dear friends, I have come to a crossroad. I married very young, at the age of 21 to someone I thought really appreciate me for my adventurous spirit and strive to always be better. Just to give you the necessary history, I earned an associates de...
A. 19 July 2011: It's simply not wrong that you want to study, and it's simply not wrong to want to do some of your studying abroad. As simple as that. It's getting late for your studies, and now is the time.
The way things are being presented, it would seem tha... (read in full...)
He asked about my sexual history and now he's become extremely jealous.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for coming up on 5 months. We love each other very much and have been discussing moving in together. However,last night we had the conversation of 'past' relationships/flings etc. Before I was with this guy, I was married ...
A. 19 July 2011: I will start with something that will appear unrelated to your post. But it matters.
Him being 39, my guess is that he has slept with more than 17 people in his lifetime. That alone makes him look bad.
My hunch is that this man of 39 found ... (read in full...)
Do guys care if their girlfriend is taller than them?
Q. I have been talking to this guy my friend introduced to me too online for quite awhile and he's going to be in my area soon soon so we're going to meet in person. I am tall, 5"10 to be exact, and I know he is about four to five inches shorter t...
A. 19 July 2011: I can only speak for myself. I wouldn't mind. And you're 3 inches taller than I. If you look great in high heels, wonderful.... (read in full...)
We are engaged but he hasn't even told his parents about me!
Q. please help! I have been with the same guy for a little over 2 years. We have been engaged for over a year of the 2 years we have been together, but he still hasnt told his parents. he doesnt plan on getting married anytime soon. He says it will ...
A. 18 July 2011: Birdy said it all.... (read in full...)
Husband of 17 years left last week, already wants our kids to meet his girlfriend!
Q. My husband of 17 years left me last week and the children (aged 12 and 14) were naturally upset. Well me too, but this question is about them, not me. He has moved in with another woman, who he apparently met in the pub about 2 months ago - she...
A. 18 July 2011: I think you're right, and, besides, I think the father is in poor taste. I wonder if the new girlfriend was happy to meet your children right now. Maybe it's he that keeps pushing both sides.
I think it should be enough if the kids said they don... (read in full...)
If we are just "friends", why did she get all dressed up to go out with me?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I know this girl and I like her, but she said she just wants to be friends. I was heartbroken at first but then said to myself, I like her enough so why not just be friends. So we made an arrangement last week to see a movie...
A. 18 July 2011: ChiGirl, then you're one in a million.
I think we can have this discussion, but the poster needs to be warned that she may be playing with him, which will take him to:
a) "I said we were friends", which is what she already did;
b) "Give m... (read in full...)
How do I move on? It's been over a year now!
Q. So my exboyfriend broke up with me over a year ago and I just don't know how to move on. I am still very depressed and I just keep thinking why he didn't love me as much as I loved him. He got back with his exgirlfriend and I am completely ...
A. 18 July 2011: Dear paisana, life is short and you should not waste any opportunities to feel happy and enjoy yourself. That is exactly what you're doing by staying where you are with respect to this young man. I understand very well why this is so, because I ... (read in full...)
Does he like me back or am I reading too much into these signs?
Q. Dear Cupid, There's one guy I like but I don't know if he likes me back. I've known him for nearly a year now, we've been good friends, but I didn't really see him often because he lives on the other side of London and I was busy with college a...
A. 18 July 2011: Why don't you tell him you're interested?... (read in full...)
If we are just "friends", why did she get all dressed up to go out with me?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I know this girl and I like her, but she said she just wants to be friends. I was heartbroken at first but then said to myself, I like her enough so why not just be friends. So we made an arrangement last week to see a movie...
A. 18 July 2011: Confused: She said she wanted you as a friend, but she is fully aware that you want more than that. So she's playing with your feelings, and it doesn't matter whether she dresses up, or down, or undresses, or whatever.
My hard-learned advice i... (read in full...)
Do girls regret some of the decisions they make when chosing guys?
Q. We were real into each other in the beginning, almost dating. Then something happened and she never had a chance to get over her ex. Suddenly, she wasn't ready for a relationship, which I understood. She said she's never been more sexually attracted ...
A. 15 July 2011: Everyone needs to make decisions. Sometimes those decisions are wrong, and you eventually regret them. Sometimes you don't.
If your question is whether she will regret not having begun a real relationship with you, I don't know, but I would re... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was staring at another woman!
Q. Am I the only woman to think it is disrespectful for your date to be staring at other women while out on a date with you? I have never had a man do this before. Most men are smart enough to at least hide it. But my boyfriend of several years and I ...
A. 11 July 2011: I could lie and say this kind of things doesn't happen, but you know they do. I think the occasion will come when it will be you who will stare at a man.
I say, if he loves you and the relationship is good, let go of this.... (read in full...)
What do women think of past FWBs'? Does he fade from memory? Do you just fondly remember the great sex once in a while? Do you ever miss it?
Q. I'm curious what women think of men in their past who they had FWB relationships and how it compares to loves in their life. I've read here many times how women almost always prefer a loving relationship to just a sexual one, but when you finally ...
A. 11 July 2011: This is one of those situations where all you can do is stay where you are, unless the thought of her preferring someone else is so strong that you can't live with her.... (read in full...)
Ex wants me to help her with repairs around her house, and is furious because I said I would charge her for it! Does that make me a jerk?
Q. I dated a girl for a while. In that time, I did a lot of things for her. One thing I did was help around her house. I am very handy and once worked for a plumber. I mowed the lawn and did repairs. We broke up two month ago. It was a bad breakup....
A. 11 July 2011: I agree with Annalisa and Birdy.... (read in full...)
My wife tells me she loves me but is not in love with me?
Q. Hello everyone this is my first time on here and thank everyone for any advice you can give me? Almost 2 months ago my wife of 10 years wakes me in the middle of the night to tell me she loves me but not in love with me, we have been together...
A. 9 July 2011: Take good care, Nath.... (read in full...)
My wife tells me she loves me but is not in love with me?
Q. Hello everyone this is my first time on here and thank everyone for any advice you can give me? Almost 2 months ago my wife of 10 years wakes me in the middle of the night to tell me she loves me but not in love with me, we have been together...
A. 6 July 2011: I think the anonymous female told it like it is. I just would qualify my previous post, in view of what she wrote: I don't think she is leaving you, poster, because of another man. But I do think that, if you stay together "for the sake of", ... (read in full...)
Korean girlfriend ends things just when I'm ready to tell her I'll go to Korea with her!
Q. I met this Korean girl a little over a month ago. We started dating, everything was going great. After a couple of weeks she mentioned that she will have to return to Korea in October because her Visa will expire. I thought it over quite a bit...
A. 5 July 2011: See? There is a lesson to learn here.... (read in full...)
My wife tells me she loves me but is not in love with me?
Q. Hello everyone this is my first time on here and thank everyone for any advice you can give me? Almost 2 months ago my wife of 10 years wakes me in the middle of the night to tell me she loves me but not in love with me, we have been together...
A. 5 July 2011: In my humble opinion, love is clearly over. There is no such thing as "I love you but I'm not in love with you". Things can't be their own self and the opposite at the same time. In simpler terms, either you are in love, or you aren't; you are ... (read in full...)
Does unrequited passion amuse beautiful women?
Q. We’ve all met them. Gorgeous, intelligent women, who have what outsiders would judge, as beautiful lives. They have success in family and professional life, and in love. I’ve met some who are not only gorgeous and intelligent, but outstanding ...
A. 5 July 2011: Shit happens. Sometimes it IS conscious. What you need to do is read the signs, so it won't happen to you ever again.... (read in full...)
Why do people dislike me? Is speaking your mind really that bad?
Q. This isn't a love/relationship question but I think this site is great and I go nowhere else for advice, so I hope there are people here who would take the time to read this and help me out. Okay, hi. I'm a 17 year old girl. I've never had proble...
A. 5 July 2011: Been there. What happens is, you threw truth in her face, and obviously she didn't like it. I say, keep doing what you're doing.... (read in full...)
Does a girl notice when you suddenly stop communication with her? When you talked to her almost every day?
Q. This girl and I really liked each other. We were considering dating, until she saw her ex, and had an emotional breakdown. So I said I'd back off the dating topic altogether. We still talked over Facebook. She IM'd me every night and we still sky...
A. 4 July 2011: Don't stay off Facebook. I'm sure you have other friends there. Just stay off her.
Women notice everything. She knows you're into her but she's still thinking of the ex. Don't be her ego-booster, because you deserve better.
... (read in full...)
I went for her sister and it didn't work; will she give me a chance?
Q. After a checking this girl out for some time I decided it was time to approach her. I walked up to her and asked her out to lunch and she seemed excited and agreed to it. Her mum was standing close by so I said i wouldn't take her number there and...
A. 4 July 2011: Everyone has found himself in the situation where "the sister" or "the cousin" is better-looking, or better, in all senses, but I'm afraid you have run out of opportunities here. There are other women. You can go find another.... (read in full...)
Korean girlfriend ends things just when I'm ready to tell her I'll go to Korea with her!
Q. I met this Korean girl a little over a month ago. We started dating, everything was going great. After a couple of weeks she mentioned that she will have to return to Korea in October because her Visa will expire. I thought it over quite a bit...
A. 4 July 2011: In sum: good riddance.
If she doesn't want you there, why would you go?... (read in full...)
Why do people dislike me? Is speaking your mind really that bad?
Q. This isn't a love/relationship question but I think this site is great and I go nowhere else for advice, so I hope there are people here who would take the time to read this and help me out. Okay, hi. I'm a 17 year old girl. I've never had proble...
A. 4 July 2011: Speaking your mind is a great thing, but it has consequences. You need to learn to live with them. Simple.... (read in full...)
If you are not beautiful? Beauty is so useless. Why do people give such a damn about it?
Q. I hate my body and can't accept it! let's just say that my body looks nothing like the 36-24-36 ideal of the media. And sure people say that it's the inside that matters but people are so hypocritical! Especially men! Because they say they want a ...
A. 4 July 2011: You're much younger than I and that is why you think beauty is that important. Yes, society bla, bla, bla, and your description is correct, but you have to value yourself beyond what Person A or Person B thinks. Your self-esteem cannot completely ... (read in full...)
What can I do to become more dominant?
Q. Hey guys my girlfriend wants me to be more dominant, assertive and aggressive (in a good way). I can be when I need to be but am naturally a timid, shy guy, like if she doesn't want to do something I won't push the subject. what do I need to do be...
A. 4 July 2011: I have the hunch that what happens here is that you don't want to be a bastard and don't want to control and monopolize everything, and therefore you appear as shy and lacking in initiative. Now, anyone has to stand his own ground; do that, and ... (read in full...)
If your senses of humor don't always coincide, how does affect the love?
Q. I realized the other day that my significant other, a man I love dearly, sometimes just cannot see the humor in a situation. Perhaps it's a cultural thing, although we have similar educational backgrounds. He seems to emphasize problem-solving ...
A. 4 July 2011: I have a very black humor, the kind people often just doesn't understand, or, conversely, understand but don't find funny. On this basis, I think you have to give up on trying to be like someone else. He's happy with you, so that's great.
I thi... (read in full...)
Why me? What is it with girls who want to cheat and then want to start again?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this girl for 6 months on and off we first got together on a party night. We had our fun and that was it. Then we met about a month later and we seemed to be quite right for each other. At least that's how i felt...
A. 4 July 2011: I don't know what drives this girl. I do know that it happens to you because you let it happen. You should have broken up with her for good when you found out she was cheating. End of it.... (read in full...)
If you are not beautiful? Beauty is so useless. Why do people give such a damn about it?
Q. I hate my body and can't accept it! let's just say that my body looks nothing like the 36-24-36 ideal of the media. And sure people say that it's the inside that matters but people are so hypocritical! Especially men! Because they say they want a ...
A. 4 July 2011: The simple answer is, you can't change people, but you can learn to live happily as you are, and not give a damn whether people think you're pretty or not.... (read in full...)
I feel like he should know better about how to please a woman and am thinking of dumping him!
Q. Well, I am dating a new guy. We have had sex about four times, it only lasts maybe 2 minutes (premature ejaculation) the problem is I really like him but sex is important in a relationship for me. He does not perform oral sex on me, or seem to ...
A. 4 July 2011: If he is not the man you want, then he is not the man you want.... (read in full...)
Does a relationship work if 2 cheaters get together?
Q. Can a relationship work if both people have cheated to be together? Will it have a happy ending or not and how long roughly do cheaters stay together before things start to go wrong? ...
A. 3 July 2011: Could work.... (read in full...)
Do I ask her out after she dumped me?
Q. Okay so there's this girl who i really like, she's my ex infact and her friends keep bugging me to ask her out but im unsure and also i do not know how/what to say, she asked me out when we dated and also she dumped me so im lost. How do I ask her ...
A. 3 July 2011: No, don't ask her out. Ever.... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my lying and cheating bf for good??
Q. Hey Agony Aunts and Uncles! Okay, i'm dealing with a terrible situation right now. My boyfriend and i been together for 2 years now and throughout those 2 years, he has cheated 4 times, he mistreats me, he hid things from me and lied to me. Okay, ...
A. 3 July 2011: He won't change. Like you said yourself, breaking up is the best thing for you to do.
Don't ever let anyone cheat on you and feel he can get away with it.... (read in full...)
We have an open relationship. Does that mean he doesn't love me?
Q. hi ok i have been in an open relationship for a year now.i know pple may critisize but it works for us we r both not ready to propaly settle down i am not jealouse if he goes and sleeps with other girls cause i know that to him its just for fun for ...
A. 3 July 2011: My personal opinion is that open relationships mean that the parties don't want to do the hardest commitment of all, which is monogamy. Whether that suits you or not is your business, not mine, so I won't go there.
If you want this kind of a rel... (read in full...)
I love her but she has a boyfriend, what do I do?
Q. VERY strange situation, I have asked numerous people for advice and they are all just as baffled as I am. So at my job, there is a girl who has been coming in for about 2 years now. We began talking a little over a year ago, exchanged numbers and ...
A. 3 July 2011: You're in the "friends" zone. You can choose to be her friend, but get a grip of yourself and don't continue to develop feelings for her. This will be difficult because you enjoy her presence, she's cool and she's good looking. But I am afraid ... (read in full...)
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