A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Friends.This is hard to explain. My Boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago and we are both broken hearted and in pieces because of this. It is not a usual break up where the relationship is bad or things get tough it came out of the blue. We are both from Strict Asian Muslim backrounds and we are not supposed to date or have a sexual relationship outside of marriage. We are best friends, confidante and we are very much in love and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. we thought that we had time to be young and finish university and study before we got serious and informed our parents about our relationship and intentions. In our culture it would be looked down upon to date out of wedlock and we do not marry for love, our marriages are arranged. Anyways his parents went to another girl's family without his knowledge to seek the girl's hand in marriage and to arrange for him to be married. He feels he can not go against his parents wishes at this time because his family have been through a tough time and he does not want to upset them. We are both every confused and hurt and I see a huge difference in his behavior, he is heart broken and distraught. We are both shattered and in pieces and do not know what to do. He is my best friend and the thought of losing him is killing me my heart bleeds. We talked about our future together and having a family etc and I know his intention was to marry me:( when we both felt the time was right, we did not expect his parents to do this. Any advice would be appreciated because I am lost and confused. Thank you
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best friend, broke up, muslim, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. We will just have to live with it.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Well, I think there is no way out of this unless you two are willing to break a rule or two and get married.
I know that he could marry another woman but I have the feeling this is not what you want. Or he.
Can't he just say he wouldn't marry anyone else? Muslim or not, I think his parents can understand that.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 You live in America. You are free. I lived there almost 30 years. Get jobs, elope, and live happily ever after. 2 can live almost as cheaply as 1.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): You are Muslim. Your man can marry 5 times. Problem solved.
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