A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I have really big problems with my relationships..I have very small boobs between size AA and A (not very sure).When I meet a guys who I like, Im scared to let them get close to me. Often guys asking me out and saying that im nice person...but my self-estem is very low. I need serious advice how kill my depression. I have been single for 2 years and my last relationship was killded with my huge depression of my breast.Now I met really nice guy and I really like him, and my depression comming out again. His ex girlfriend had 32G boobs!! I wanna die, im crying a lot now ..really... in a joke form I told him 'wow they should be too big' and he said NO it wasn't! I can't let him fall inlove with me because im such a flat one... Please help me im destroying my love life... and myself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2012): Personally, I think shape is a lot more important than size. I actually think size C is too large. I prefer A and B cups. Most girls I date are around an A, I think. Also, guys looks at the complete package. I'm MUCH more attracted to a girl who is fit with A cups than a girl who is out of shape with C cups.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): Honey breast size never mattered to me. I never cared how big or small they were. I was more interested in someone with personality, who attracted me in more ways than her body. Any man who judges a woman on her breast size is a very shallow person not worthy of you. Stop worrying about a very insignificant thing. A true love would never consider your breast size, if he does, run.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): I totally feel for you! I am a 45 year old woman with the same story as you....minus one thing....I never let the fact that I had AA cup size interfere with my relationships. I was married for 20 years and had 2 children (I nursed too!)and never had any problems with my relationship because of my breast size. Fact is....there are MANY men who actually prefer small breasts! "More than a mouthful is wasteful" is my favorite saying! I divorced and remarried an incredibly hot man who loved my little girls! But here's the deal.....I hated them and it affected me and my self-image. I am seeing that you are in the same boat and I know exactly were you are coming from. But the difference is you are assuming that your male partners feel the same way. That's not fair to them. Let them have their opinions and enjoy the relationship with a man who obviously likes your body type (if he didn't, he wouldn't be calling you back). But, as for your self image....if it bothers you that much, do something about it. In today's world, you have options. I tried to wear gel bras, padded bras, etc....and it just didn't work. Yes, I was that flat after nursing! My current husband got so sick of me complaining about it (mostly because I didn't like the way clothing, especially bathing suits, looked on me) that he told me to either get a boob job or shut up about it! So, I got a boob job! It actually took him awhile to start really liking them and he says he still misses my little boobs, but it did wonders for my self-esteem. I feel more womanly, I love the way I look in a bathing suit, I enjoy bra shopping, and I feel way sexier. I know many readers will not like this because we should just love ourselves the way we are, but we all do things artificially to enhance our apearance (make-up, coloring our hair, tatoos, colored contacts, etc.). I had a boob job for me, not a man. I do not regret it and I wish I had done it earlier in my life. It did wonders for my self confidence and I feel very sexy. My husband was even amazed at how it changed my attitude!
So my final words to you would be....forget about worrying about your man's view of your chest....take care of your own view of your chest. If you are ok with it, then drop it. If not, do something about it (permanent or not). In the end, you are the one who has to live with your body for the rest of your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): MUCH more important things to worry about, dear. It will absolutely matter to SOME guys, and these guys cannot help what they find attractive, but MANY guys will not care in the least. I personally love small breasts but adore cute butts and round hips and a friend of mine only cares about a pretty face, etc. As stated by other people, self confidence is one of the sexiest things of all. Work on that.
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reader, red_squirrel +, writes (26 February 2011):
Here love, mine are 36AA but it's never been a problem for my love life... The problem as you may know is your self consciousness, not your cup size!! it's sad that women these days are put through so much, body-image wise. but think of it like this, you can jog up a flight of stairs, can his ex? Men like breasts even if they are the size of clementines, they don't care that much, they are still fascinated by them.
I think you have to focus on your inner thoughts and dismiss any that you wouldn't say to your best friend. "Love your neighbour as you love yourself" works two ways - you have to love yourself - treat yourself like a best friend and get off your own case!
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): 2 things, which are coming at this from a different angle - not said to confuse you, but just to think around the issue: a friend of mine who is a very skilled psychologist said that men basically fall into two camps: a. men who like small boobs tend to have a bad relationship with their mother and mother "issues" which can often overlap into the relationship with the woman and b. men who like big boobs basically need a "mommy" and/or overly love their mothers, which can, again, complicate the relationship with a girl. At first I thought this was ridiculous, but having thought about it and discussed it with other friends, weirdly enough there does seem some truth in it...this doesn't at all solve your "problem" of small boobs, but if you are attracting men who you later find out have mother issues, you might want to think through the "connection"/
Another thing - a friend of mine had a baby very young and had very small breasts which, due to lack of anyone educating her after she had her baby, became just as saggy as larger breasts can do after breast feeding. She also had a very bony chest, so you could see her ribs prominently. After years of never being able to take of a bra (she was a size 33AA - A) and continually covering up even in summer, she grew so depressed that she had a (very small) boob job to become a 34b. She probably had the smallest implants that you can get - she never wanted big boobs but she felt that, having a baby so young, she had missed out on a whole stage of just enjoying having normal breasts and she also felt that she was pressured to be super-slim to try to make the rest of her body seem in proportion. What was difficult about this was not that she ever wanted huge boobs, but that with so many women having boob jobs just to get really large breasts, she felt that she would be judged in the same way as them - ie. as attention seeking and "hypersexualised" when she simply wanted to feel nicer about herself and to not have to wear a bra all the time and to have some time in her life where her boobs felt "normal". Of course she wishes that they had just grown a bit and stayed firmer, but er confidence has grown enormously except that no-one except her partner and daughter know about it because she simply doesn't want to be judged by others who are so against plastic surgery -
I'm saying these things simply as an alternative to the "learn to love yourself" answers - sure, you can do this if you want to, but this "love yourself" can also be another form of judgement from people who haven't necessarily "been there" - ie. people "judging" you for not loving yourself. The reality is also that sometimes there are good reasons for loving yourself enough to just do something about it and be realistic in your own terms. Only you can decide.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): oh no hun boobs aint everything. Im gonna b honest here i am a 34e so i find i have the opposite problem. When i walk into a store and ask the assistant for my bra size she normally does one of 2 things 'sorry love, we dont do that size.........or she'l take me over the most ugly set of bras in the shop, you no, the kind a grandmother would wear and i dont want those im 22! So result? I end up paying a fortune for underwear i like!
Now in ur situation u can wear them! Go nd get measured properly for a start. Then treat urslf to some beautiful bras.u can get some great gel cusioned ones. ANd so wht if their padded every1 is doin it ur not alone!
Also if guys are talking to u then they obviously like the way u look! Dont get into convo about their ex's bra sizes thats just gonna agrivate things. and if he starts talking about it just console urself with....i dont have big boobs but i have great underwear! Lol i hope this helps hunny u dont need to be embarred i think u'll find that men just like boobs regarless of shape and size i dont think it matters!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): I had many gf,s in my life but I can never forget my love to two of them till my dying day. for your information one of them had inverted nipples and the other was almost flat chested. But also I wish if I could have had an inch longer penis.hehehe.
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reader, Miss.Me  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 I don't think your breast-size killed your relationships, you making this an issue to the point of causing depression did. It seems no matter what size breasts girls have they are not happy with them. "They're too small", "they're too big" - the list of insecurities goes on. I am size C and I sometimes wish they were smaller! But they fit my body, and like the anon poster said, "as long as it suits your body type the overall effect is good." What you need to know is, a guy who really loves or cares about you will not just dump you for having small breasts. YOU first need to accept your breasts, then you'll be able to realize that your boyfriend can and DOES accept (and love) them too. Decide from this exact point forward that you'll start to love, not just like, your breasts. Don't mean to turn this into a feminist topic, but there's another thing I want to add. Breasts are first and foremost for the woman and baby . Don't base your happiness on what a guy thinks of your breasts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): I'm pretty flat chested myself (A) but as my last boyfriend pointed out, breast size really isn't a huge factor into whether a girls attractive or not. He said that its more the overall effect. More often than not girls who are flat chested are just as attractive to him as girls with large breasts. His opinion was, as long as it suits your body type the overall effect is good so you have nothing to be self conscious about. For instance, I know I would look really weird if I was a C and even a B would look strange with my body type. I'm sure its the same with you.
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reader, person12345 +, writes (25 February 2011):
 A lot of men find small breasts attractive. I don't know any men who aren't total pigs who will only date girls with large breasts. However, I do know many good men who won't date a woman with low self-confidence. Small breasts can be very beautiful and I guarantee you that it's your lack of confidence rather than your chest that would turn a guy off.
I mean look at someone like Kate Hudson or someone very flat-chested. They are beautiful, and it's not because of their chest. You need to remind yourself that you are beautiful! A guy who is only attracted to your boobs isn't worth being with. Plus, having large breasts isn't that great, they can hurt, they make finding good clothes difficult, it's hard to be taken seriously, they invite creepiness from creepy people, and they sag more later in life. There are pluses and minuses to every body type and you have to remind yourself that yours is beautiful. Stop looking at Cosmo and all those places. They show a ridiculously narrow body type.
It's very easy to pretend self-confidence would happen if you had a smaller nose or a bigger chest or different hair or whatever. Being beautiful does not give you more confidence. Being confident gives you more confidence. Some of the sexiest most confident women I know, the total guy magnets, are definitely not super-model hot. Some of them are barely average. But they are confident in themselves and men absolutely flock to them. Not to sound too after-school special, but confidence comes from within, not from the outside.
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reader, The Realist  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 I don't know if this counts as advice but it may help. I personally think small breasts are attractive and I gaurantee I am not the only one out there. The is no reason for you to feel insecure because you are just as beautiful or more in my opinion then someone with huge boobs. Guys ask you out because they are attracted to all of you.
Trust me you don't want 32G boobs. A friend of mine has somewhere around that size and alot of back problems. If this helps you should remember that your small boobs will look amazing thirty years from now while it is just a fact of nature that the bigger boobs will drop lower.
I just hope you realize that you have nothing to be ashamed about.
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reader, dietcoke.1 +, writes (25 February 2011):
Hey Let me just say i was the total oposite to you ! i have huge boobs and was very depressed by them , so we have something in common
The thing i learned after time with guys is that it doesnt matter about the size of your boobs at all. If that was a concern to him he wouldnt like you , boobs come in all shapes and sizes alot of famous people dont have big boobs at all and alot of models dont and there beautiful.
You should be confident with your body! The more confident you are the more attractive you are
Good luck with the guy im sure he will like you just as you are ! :) x
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 You say you can't let him fall in love with you because you're such a flat one. Don't you think that is for him to say?
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reader, inluvwlaw +, writes (24 February 2011):
get over yourself and let him love you for you you are exactly the way you are suppose to be and if its that big of a deal there is ways of solution but do it for the right reasons not for him believe in self and enjoy
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reader, Lele0515 +, writes (24 February 2011):
Sweetheart, boobs shouldn't matter looks arent everything. If he likes you for who you are then why be afraid ? don't be ! Beauty is within not without. My cousin also has small boobs and it doesnt affect her or her relationship. If a guy doesnt like what you have then he is not worth it ! So, don't be afraid, you are beautiful just the way you are; don't believe any one that says otherwise because it doesn't matter what they think, it's what you think thats important. Look at yourself in the mirror for 5 or 10 min. and tell yourself 10 positive things about yourself and just the positive (: hope this works for you !!!
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reader, Lele0515 +, writes (24 February 2011):
Sweetheart, boobs shouldn't matter looks arent everything. If he likes you for who you are then why be afraid ? don't be ! Beauty is within not without. My cousin also has small boobs and it doesnt affect her or her relationship. If a guy doesnt like what you have then he is not worth it ! So, don't be afraid, you are beautiful just the way you are; don't believe any one that says otherwise because it doesn't matter what they think, it's what you think thats important.
Look at yourself in the mirror for 5 or 10 min. and tell yourself 10 positive things about yourself and just the positive (:
hope this works for you !!!
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 The beginning step is to recognize that you are the one with the problem, and where it comes from: your self esteem.
This is a bit of low-scale unprofessional diagnosing, but from what I've seen, low self esteem comes from anything and nothing. I've seen absolutely wonderful people who have low self esteem based on nothing at all. In logic, I could understand if someone has low self esteem because of a disfigurement, being picked on for some reason, standing out from the crowd and looking different in a particular way. What happens then is that either people take great pride in their uniqueness, or they shrink in and try to disappear.
But, in most cases, the low self esteem doesn't come from being picked on, looked on the odd way, standing out in any way, or having anything actually wrong with you. People with low self esteem have low self esteem no matter what they look like.
Even if you had big breasts you would still have low self esteem, and you'd probably find something else about yourself to pin it on. And if your entire body was wonderful like a glamour model you could find faults in personality or elsewhere.
It's all in your mind. When you come to realize that you can take the next steps in building up your self esteem. It's not your boobs that are killing your relationships, it's your low self esteem. You compare yourself to others, constantly finding yourself to be less than others.
Unfortunately I do not know a miracle cure for low self esteem. I do know that it requires a lot of mental work. I also know that in order to find happiness within yourself you need to not be dependent on others to fulfill you. You can not have your happiness depending on another person, as that will break you down as soon as the other person fails to do the correct thing, or makes a mistake. You need to learn to love yourself first before you can have another person loving you.
And just to be all clear: your small boobs are still YOUR boobs, they belong to YOUR BODY, and are perfect just the way they are. Try telling yourself that everyday while looking at them in the mirror. When you repeat something often enough you will start to believe in it. For so long you've been telling yourself your boobs are not ok, not good enough, too small etc. Start telling yourself that they are good, perfect, beautiful, and they are you.
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reader, Aunty Honest +, writes (24 February 2011):
 It's such a shame you feel this way as men like all kinds of different women! Many of my male friends have said (charmingly) to me that "more than a handful is too much." And while this may be quite crude, it's absolutely their opinion. Often women with larger breasts have stretch marks, or hate the way they look without a bra. In fact many men prefer smaller, perkier shapes. Men simply enjoy the female form. While many love big breasts there are plenty of gorgeous and widely wanted women with small ones. However I am unlikely to change your mind on this topic. But really try looking at your other features. This guy finds you attractive. When I suffered from self-esteem issues I came to the realisation that just because I hate something about myself-it doesn't mean everyone else will. In fact often partners love the things we hate about ourselves! You don't have to love your breasts, but at least believe he finds you attractive as you are, or he wouldn't be with you! If this is completely destroying your self-esteem why not talk to someone who can help? Often a proffessional can help you re-programme the way you think/feel about yourself. It's like learning to swim, while you could get there without help, it's faster and easier if you do!.Hope you gain some confidence back.
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reader, TrustInYou +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Dear Older me,
Stop stressing. If any guy doesn't want you because of your chest, then he wasn't worth it. The reason I called you "Older me" is because I am suffer the same issues. Now, guess what? I ignored the fact that my best friend was a 36D and that I'm an A and shrugged off the grief. Now I have a boyfriend who cares about me. So what you need to do is let guys come in, and ignore the boob issue.
Trust me,
TrustInYou
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