A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've had the biggest crush on this guy for like a year now. He's super adorable. We flirt all the time. He and I have been "talking" for like two months now. I love when people give me attention and he gives me the most. Last month, we were at his house and he was touching me-- it felt great. Like I was ready. A few days ago, we were talking about having sex. He told me he wanted to have a foursome... Me, him, his brother, and his best friend. I kind of want to. Is that weird? Should I?
View related questions:
best friend, crush, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 Thanks, eyeswideopen. :)
A
male
reader, over1thing  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 i would say no cuz thst msde me think he wants to make a porno vid..... my ex wanted me and her and another guy to have a 3some.... its wierd....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): He just wants to use you for a sex toy and has no real feeling for you. If you really like this guy, go after his best friend. Ask this guy if his best friend really finds you attractive? If he saids yes, pick up your phone and call his best friend as you are leaving his house! As a girl in her teens and dating guys in the same age class, you have all the power. Start acting like it!
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (15 October 2011):
 No you shouldnt do it!
He clearly doesnt like you, raise the bar!
...............................
A
female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (14 October 2011):
 oi! DON'T do this. dump this guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (13 October 2011):
 it is weird yes, i find it more weird that he would want a sibling of his to be involved. is he joking?? but if you want to do it, then go ahead
but... consider the following...
you will need to practice safe sex, obviously.
and be aware that this is a very unusual thing for a young woman to do, and teenage boys being teenage boys they will want to tell EVERYONE about it, so you WILL have the reputation as 'the chick who got nailed by three guys' - you will find that title pretty impossible to shake off, so what you gonna do in the future when you meet someone who you want to be serious with, how do you think he is gonna feel about you when he finds out you have done this??
in summary - think about the consequences! it is not always good to have the 'live in the moment' attitude.
i take it from the way you say 'talking' for two months that he is casual thing anyway, he doesn't really care about you if he doesn't want you to himself. i know you are hooked on the attention he gives you but if you do go ahead with this that attention could abruptly stop anyway, he is not gonna want you as a girlfriend afterwards, he will just think you are a slut. he probably does already and that's why he thinks its ok to suggest this to you
x
...............................
A
female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Wow, today's generation has taken sex to be something so casual.
You can not see the insanity in his request because you are too young to have sex and to understand it's FULL impact. Sex is not a game. Respect yourself and don't do something your Grandmother wouldn't approve of.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 October 2011):
 Oh boy!
1. if this is your first time WHY oh why would you start of by having sex with 3 guys? Are you nuts?
2. He wants one of the guys to be his brother? WTF? how twisted is that?
3. Gang-bangs (and THAT is what he is suggesting) can VERY easily get out of hand, it belongs in prisons.
4. TAKE your time to get to know a guy before decided on who to sleep with.
5. IT is NOT normal at all.
6. You will regret it. and YOU would have to live with that the rest of your life.
7. Consider your reputation... you want to be known as some girl who got gang-banged her first time? And trust me those guys will tell EVERYBODY and their grandmother.
8. Some fantasies are best kept in the imagination.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Here's the scenario:
you say yes
he says "goody"
he tells bf, and brother and they set a date and time when mom and dad will be out of the house.
they also TELL the entire football team, the band, and anyone else they can BRAG to about this.
Maybe they set up a secret video camera or worse an online streaming via SKYPE or something...
You go in and have a GREAT time, not realizing you are being saved for prosperity and whacking off by the football team later on...
Monday comes you walk into school... girls point and stare
Boys pat you on the ass and say "hey baby whatcha doing saturday night... got a blow job for me???"
because the second you left.. those cell phones started burning up the minutes... and the texts.. and anything else.
You will be the neighborhood tramp, whore, slut, go to girl or whatever.
this could get back to MOM, DAD, little brother or sister...
this COULD potentially RUIN your entire life....
please please please do not do this.
now having HOT fantasies about it while you pleasure yourself is a GREAT idea... just DO NOT do it.
LISTEN to this very wise very experienced OLD lady who's BTDT.... PLEASE... DO NOT DO THIS...
...............................
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (13 October 2011):
If you need someone else to tell you how much you could regret this idea then here I am. Don't allow to get used like this. I know a bit of attention feels great but get it from someone who cares about you. This guy is only thinking about himself and it could turn out far worse than you could ever imagine. DON'T LET HIM USE YOU!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): DO NOT DO IT. They might tell you they will use condoms but in that situation when it is only you and three blokes they could do whatever they liked. Emotionally this could haunt you and ruin future relationships and physically you could be hurt or catch any of the STI's. If these guys are into stuff like that how do you know you arent putting yourself at risk of disease-HIV is a real risk and people don't seem to think of these risks enough.How would you feel maybe 5 years down the line and you meet the guy of your dreams, and it comes out the you were involved in a gang bang? That's not the sort of girl a guy wants to take home. You are worth a lot more and deserve a man who will love and respect you, and only you, if he loved you he would not want to use and exploit you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): I had a similar experience but with only one guy. I thought he liked me and as soon as he saw I was willing, he took advantage of me. came close to raping me. if you have a shred of decency and self respect I would strongly advise against this. lock yourself up in your room, cry over him for a couple of hours and MOVE ON. this guy could care less about you. what if this experiment gets filmed? What if they invite more guys over? What if it turns to rape? Odds are they've watched too much porn and have the gangbang fantasy in their heads, ready to fulfill with a foolish, willing girl. Your boyfriend is the guy who gives the signal, the green light for his friend AND brother to join in. Don't do it. If you're a virgin at least SAVE yourself for one person.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 October 2011):
 "You would be the party favour, not the party favourite."
That's a good one, Ciar! I wish I'd said that.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 October 2011):
NO NO NO do not do this...
please don't do this...
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Whoa! This is disturbing!!
This rogue knows you like him and he thinks you will be an easy target for his sick fantasies. He has ZERO respect or regard for you, you're just a warm body who will help satisfy his craving for an orgy. And having his brother involved??!! That is really disgusting.
These guys are just out to have some fun and they've found a willing partner in you. They have no morals or scruples and will just use and discard you. As exciting as it sounds to you right now, it might even end up in a gang rape. Don't PLEASE don't ever consider this nonsense.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): Would they use condoms ? WOuld it be your first time ?
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (13 October 2011):
 What a great story that would be to tell all his mates. No, this is completely wrong, and pretty sick that he wants to involve his brother.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Holy cats! Yeah, not a good idea here at all, even though I know it's tantalizing to you.
First of all, would these 4 guys be using condoms? I doubt it.
Second, these are teenagers...and sex is risky enough with just one on one! Orgies are carriers of disease, pregnancies, possible injury, horrible on the reputation (if they're in school and you're in school, guys BRAG about this sort of thing, and it WILL get around to you)
Just a bad idea. Some things should stay fantasies. This guy wants to treat you like a blow up doll for his amusement. His brother, his best friend? Are you a toy to be passed around? Ew. That has nothing whatsoever to do with a loving relationship where he only has eyes for you, and he values you.
I'd pass if I were you. Don't make this the biggest regret of your life. If you end up pregnant, how would you even know whose it is?
...............................
A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (13 October 2011):
I think the brother part is a bit weird but if you both want a foursome it is up to you, like with any sexual encounter just make sure it is what you want first, consider the downsides (mentioned by other comments) and do what feels right for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): Your too young to get into a foursome with guys. Your reputation would end up in tatters.
The guy does not respect you. If he did he wouldnt want you to do this with 3 other guys.
What would happen if you set it up and decide not to go through with it, will they definately take no for an answer? you would be putting you self in a potentially dangerous situation. To be honest the thought of you a young girl being ask this by a guy she clearly likes screams danger to me. Please dont do it and end contact with this guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Not a good idea especially at such a young age.
Fantasy and reality are two very different things! In your head I imagine your seeing it as a wonderfully liberating experience with three men all fighting for your attention.
Reality is this, they will want to use your body, they will more than likely be in control you may well not have a say in what happens. They may all want to be in you, in one way or another at the same time. It sounds to me like you haven't even had sex yet [Ive been talking to a guy for a couple of months and im kinda ready]
Trust someone a little older, you are not ready for a foursome experience. You need to explore a loving one on one relationship first, understand what sex feels like. Doing this will destroy your sexual confidence and you will regret it.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 October 2011):
I think it's pretty weird that he wants it to involve his brother.
And that's just one little thing that's out of place here.
This guy isn't actually interested in who you are, and he sure as hell doesn't care about you. He literally just wants to use you.
This will leave you very, very hurt. And to be honest when it gets around (and it will), this will make you seem very naive and it'll probably damage your reputation.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): NO. You're a bit young to be having that kind of sex in the first place, and did you say his brother and his best friend? No way, girl. That's going too far. Don't be surprised if he's just playing you for sex. I mean, why else would he invite his brother and best friend to have a foursome with you? Listen, anonymous. If he really loved you, he would never think of the idea. He would want you for himself, I mean, when you're in a relationship, it's not like you would share partners. Think of it this way: he's thinking he can get you into giving up your virginity to him, his brother, and his best friend. Not to sound mean, but he may be thinking something along the words of "Oh, yeah! We gonna get some tonight!", and the others would be thinking the exact same thing. I don't think it's harmless fun, and I don't think that a girl your age should be exposed to such crazy behavior. I mean, things like this could really scar you, lower your self-esteem, embarrass you, and make you feel like you need 3 guys to have a good time. I mean, what if they had a camera without you knowing? What would become of your reputation in school? What would your parents say if somehow they got a hold of something like that? And the police? This isn't something a nice guy would do. A nice guy wouldn't even raise the subject of something like this. I mean, if you guys really loved each other, wouldn't it be more appropriate to have sex together? I mean, what part of "significant other" involves more than one person? I'm sorry if I sound harsh over here, but I think you have to wake up and smell the coffee. You're hormones are wild at this age, but that doesn't mean you have to have wild sex your first time. Don't you think that it would be in a nice room, in a comfy bed, with you and your boyfriend? There's really no room for others when it comes to love! A guy like this doesn't sound like he's in love with you. A guy like this sounds like he's in lust with you. Basically saying he's only in it for the fun. So, recap . No, you shouldn't, he sounds like a player, and find someone who really cares about you. Good luck, and I hope all of this writing helped.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Oh that's why he has been giving you so much attention... I guess it takes quite a bit of attention - giving to bamboozle a girl into performing in a freak show....
No disrespect meant to the adults who like this kind of experiences, as Gabrielle says if they are adult, conscious of their real wants and needs, and free to choose without pressures, what they like is no problem.
It's a problem if and when a young, inexperienced girl let herself be used as a guinea pig for some selfish guy's experiments and recreation, in change of some " attention "... That's so pathetic.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (13 October 2011):
A definite NO to that.
Your desire for attention is blinding you to a big red flag here. This guy isn't open minded sexually or interested in sharing a wild experience with you. He is looking to share you with his brother and his friend. He knows you fancy him and he sees how you respond to flattery and attention and he's using that to butter you up.
You would be the party favour, not the party favourite.
...............................
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (13 October 2011):
 It's not...normal, no. And at your age, not a good idea. I won't say it would be 'wrong' or 'disrespectful', since that depends on the context of the thing and I personally do enjoy such encounters, but then I'm rather a bit older and more certain of my own desires and motivations than you are.
It would be difficult to be certain of this guy's motivations based on the information given, but you should think through all the possible consequences. All in all I would NOT recommend it, and definitely not with a guy, his brother and his best friend. You should, at least, know this - such an encounter will kill any possibility of a relationship with either of the three guys involved.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): If you go through with this you WILL regret it. Not only will you regret, but you'll lose all of your self-worth and confidence, because you WILL get a reputation from this and they will be talking nasty things about you. This guy is obviously in this to see how much he can get from you. Please don't fall for it.
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 This guy has no respect for at all as he wants to use u for his fantasy. This is awful however so was having to lose my v card at 25. If u wanna further be like many american women and deem my action pathetic by engaging in this meatfest then by all means do it. Pfft. Typical.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): NO you should not.
Can you imagine the reaction and fall-out afterwards?
You will damage your self esteem, your reputation and everyone will know about it, these lads would be using you like a piece of meat for their own ends,to fulfill a silly fantasy. Then they will brag about it.
You should dump this lad and find one who respects you.
...............................
A
female
reader, terilmicks  +, writes (13 October 2011):
When it comes to issues of this kind, it is advisable to actually look into it more. I have seen many people who rushed into having a threesome and a foursome only to lose all the trust they had for each other, while the feelings may change. Others however, have done it and have had no problems. So its really upto you but do you know this guy well enough? Do you see any future with him or are you both just playing around? How do you imagine you wil feel after that? Are you prepared to handle the feelings that you will ahve after that? These are all things you should put into consideration. All the best
...............................
|
