A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What do I do? i really like this guy. please help? ?I've been getting to know this guy for a while now. First we use to speak on the phone everyday for about a week. Then he asked if he's the only guy I was talking to and I said no, am talking to a few other guys too. ( I lied) he's the only one. I didn't want him to think it was just him.Since I said that, all the phone calls and texts stopped. He rang me when he was with his boys and he let me spoke to one of them. and he said he wants us to take things slow.I met him for drinks and his friend was there too. I didn't mind cos he gave me all his attention and I got to know a bit about his friend too. I thought they were nice.He rang me the next day asking for another date, but it was late so I said monday, but he didn't ring me.I wish we would talk like we use to.What do I do? Should I just wait till he calls? I don't wanna ring him and seem desperate. Is he even into me?Should I ask him anything about us?Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Or course he's into you. But you've done a good job of letting him know that you're not into him: you're interested in other men, you put up roadblocks to dates, you never ring him. So naturally he has backed off.
Give him a ring and let him know where he stands.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Better not to play games. Straight forward is best. Men don't like games, (and if they do they are often players.) Think back to being a kid passing notes in class:
Do you like me (circle one) yes no. Notice how there is no maybe? I know it seems silly, but really kids have it right. No games, just yes or no.
I say give him a call and ask him out. Be straight with him. Don't play games.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 October 2011):
I think you've set things back a bit with this guy. You said he wasn't the only guy, so that got him wary, and then when he suggested another date you said no and changed it. When you change a date, usually you're the one who has to then follow that up, meaning that it should have been you who called him.
I think you're waiting around playing a few too many games when you need to call him and arrange something. He's done a fair bit of running, and it doesn't seem like you're doing any running of your own here. He does seem interested, or did, but your actions are the ones that are making this so confusing.
Why don't you call him and rearrange?
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (11 October 2011):
I think you should text him and explain both that you lied and why you did so. From what you have said he may either think you are still playing the field or he does not fancy his chances against these hypothetical other men.
Either way I don't think you will talk as much as you used to unless you clear the misunderstanding up, if you can my advice is to stop playing games to make yourself look cool and just be honest.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): No, I don't think he's into you. I don't think you can count hanging out with him and his friend as a date either. A date is when a guy takes you out to dinner or something similar ALONE and pays for it. Don't ring him. Don't settle for less than a guy who will actually date you and call you to take you out on more dates.
He wants to take things slow because there are other girls in the picture he wants and he wants his options open. I would move on definitely.
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