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... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
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I feel inadequate after seeing a photograph of my boyfriend's ex. But am I just being silly?
Q. I've been in a reltionship with my boyfriend for 4 months. We love each other very much, and I am completely open with him. His last relationship was with a girl that lasted 2 years, and they were engaged. He told me he broke up with her because he ...
A. 23 January 2007: Hi
No your not being silly, its perfectly understandable. My brother went out with a model. She was a really nice person, and all the family liked her. But for one thing or another, it didn't work out.
Then he met his wife. She was not as good loo... (read in full...)
When I say no to anal sex, he gets in a bad mood! I don't want us to break up over this...help!
Q. I've been dating this guy for three weeks now, he's 19 and I'm only 16 so when it comes to sex i already feel as though i don't know enough and it makes me feel inferior. We have a very sexually active relationship, we can't seem to keep our hands ...
A. 23 January 2007: Hi,
Its unbelievable that you are having sex after three weeks, let alone the other thing he has asked you to do.
What a PR**. Him not you.
You need to get some respect for yourself, before you start to regret meeting him, and ditch this loser. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends gets me NOTHING for Christmas, Birthday, Valentines.. NEVER!
Q. SHOULD I BE UPSET WHEN MY KIDS FATHER (MY BOYFRIEND)DOESN'T GET ME ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, MOTHERS DAY,VALENTINE DAY..BUT HE GET HIS MOM THINGS...
A. 23 January 2007: Hi,
Yes you should be upset.
And im not having a go at you guys, but why is it always the same excuse. Im a man and i forgot, or Im a man we dont do that sort of thing. Im sure there are guys out there who really do value the women that they are... (read in full...)
Husband or my long love? What do I do?
Q. Married for 11 yrs, been in love with another man for 29yrs, he lives 1,800 miles away. Went to see him after 10yrs of not seeing each other and he tells me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He's everything I ever ...
A. 23 January 2007: Hi,
My veiw is that you only get one life, and you should be happy while you are here.
You are in a real dilemma, and you must realise that it will no doubt hurt your husband if you left him. But if you are living a lie, what is the point of stayi... (read in full...)
Can an abusive person be made to leave our home?
Q. If you purchase a home with someone and that person is abusive can he be made to leave?...
A. 23 January 2007: Hi,
I think it would depend on the type of abuse. If its violent then you may be able to get him out. If its mental, its harder to prove. Take it from me I know. If this person is violent towards you, i would suggest that you get out and leave. Its ... (read in full...)
My partner has lost her sex drive and I think she's getting too close to her friend.I don't know what to do. Please help me.
Q. I need a little advice. I have been with my partner for almost 6 years, we got married last summer and I have always believed it was the best thing ever. However things have been a little odd lately. She seems to have lost her sex drive entirely...
A. 19 January 2007: Oh poor you,
You could be barking up the wrong tree about your friend, but under the circumstances its not surprising is it. You need to sit down and talk about this, otherwise how can you sort it out. Had she gone off sex before her friend came... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about her but she's married! She says she feels 'something' but is commited to her marrige. What can I do?
Q. I'm a single guy in my thirties. Last year i met this great woman at a place i don't go to very often. I asked her out as i thought she was lovely and amazing. She refused as she's married. A couple of months ago, i met with her again at the s...
A. 19 January 2007: Sorry i agree withthe others, you should stay away. If this lady one day has an arguement with her husband, she will fall back on you. All sorts could happen, and it wouldnt be fair to her or her husband. You can move on to find another, you are ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is non-existant. I even get the feeling she'd be happy if I left her and the kids. How do I save our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years and I have 3 beautiful kids. I love her and used to think she did too. However, she just won’t have sex with me. It went downhill after our first baby but that was OK – she just needed time right? Now our youngest is 16 ...
A. 15 January 2007: Hi,
There are always 2 sides to every story, sometimes you dont always see that i admit.
But if you really love this girl, you do need to get some help. Only you know if you are telling the truth, and helping her as much as you can.
Why do yo... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and a virgin and met a 41-year old woman on webcam... We're meeting this Saturday!
Q. Ok. I’m 19years old and have been desperate to lose my virginity for years, I’ve had chances to with decent girls but have stop our relationship getting to the next level because they where not virgins too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, as I’ve ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi
First can i just say, having 2 children by 2 fathers does not make a lady a whore.And does not automatically meen you carry a desease. She may be very nice, and you cant tell over the internet.
However I dont believe that you should be meeting ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is non-existant. I even get the feeling she'd be happy if I left her and the kids. How do I save our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years and I have 3 beautiful kids. I love her and used to think she did too. However, she just won’t have sex with me. It went downhill after our first baby but that was OK – she just needed time right? Now our youngest is 16 ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi
I know this is going to sound a bit mad but here goes....
A close male mate of mine and my boyfriends, had exactly the same trouble with his wife. No matter how hard he tried(and believe me he did try), it was the same thing, she did not want... (read in full...)
My ex is sleeping w/ me...and others! What if they're not using protection?! And how can I get her back w/ just me?
Q. My Ex Girlfriend and myself r doing great everything going great no problem's where best friends who sleep with each over and it's never werld 1 bit. last night she came up we had something to eat we made love. and everything was going great. ...
A. 11 January 2007: Blimey,
There's a lot of Sh***ng going on down your way. I hope not only is she taking precution's but so are you. Its all so confusing Im not sure who is with who.
I was just wondering how old you all are, only you sound very young.
Regards X... (read in full...)
My fiance called me and said he's leaving! What do I do?
Q. I just got a call and my soon to be husband told me to have my daughter at my mothers when he gets off work. I asked him why and then I asked why are you leaving me and he said yes, that we rushed into this and that he never lived on his own. We ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi,
Have you talked yet?. It could be that he is suffering with a bit of nerves. If you have only been to-gether for 5 months, maybe getting married is to soon for him.
You could try giving him some space, and see how it goes.
But if all else fai... (read in full...)
She split, said she wasn't seeing anyone, then phoned 3 weeks later to say that she was. We were engaged! Is there still a chance for us?
Q. hi my girlfriend and i were together for nearly seven years,she is 21 and i am 26.we have been engaged for nearly 3years and we brought our first house together in august 2005 and everything seemed to be going well,then the end of november she ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi,
So sorry to read your question.
But I think you should move on, and find love with another.
Even if she was telling the truth, which I would doubt. Its more likely she didnt want to hurt you, by telling you the real reason . How do I know th... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and feel ready for a bf, then when I actually have one I freak out and dump him!
Q. Hi..... well im a 12 yr old girl 13 this yr and ever since ive started secondary school i've only had one bf but i dumped him the next day cuz i totally freaked out:S:S and the same happend in junior school. i had a bf but i couldn't talk to...
A. 11 January 2007: Ah Bless,
I thought I was the only one like that at your age as well.
You will be ready, but maybe not just yet. Give yourself a little more time, and it will all get easier. At only 13 years old i went out with a boy, just because he could sp... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and going out with my ex-teacher, age 34...
Q. Ok so heres my story, im 16 nearly 17 and im going out with a guy who is 33 nearly 34, we've been together almost 9 months now and things are great..its also a long distance relationship, he lives in another country but i plan to move there with him ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi,
I dont think that was aimed at Carrie was it?
Just wanted to say, that my mate got married when she was 17, to a man who was 34. Of course everyone said "it wont last". But 30 years later they are still together. So you never know, what lif... (read in full...)
My ex says he still cares for me and would date me, but says I could do better and doesn't want me to get hurt.
Q. When a guy tells you that he thinks i can do better then him and that he thinks he's not the one for me? I think my ex has really low esteem. When him and i were dating i always made it known to him that i thought he was the most sexist man in th...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi
Sorry to tell you, but you could do better...
He is playing a game with you, its called "KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN"
He knows how much you care for him, an as a result you are not moving on. Its great to stay mates with an ex, but from your le... (read in full...)
My bf promised to break it off with his "geisha," but hasn't yet. How long should I wait for him to do so?
Q. My boy promised to break it up with another girl. she's kind of like his "geisha." It's very painful to me, but we have a long-standing relationship and my heart is his. I can't contemplate another man without feeling like a cheater myself. How lo...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi
Not sure what you mean by Geisha. Is the film accurate?
Do you mean they are having sex?if they are, what on earth is wrong with you.
You say your heart is his, is his your's?. Dosn't sound like it to me.
If he is not taking your relationshi... (read in full...)
My bf still visits his old in-laws! I'm not happy about it. Should I tell him to stop?
Q. I have been with my b.f for 3 1/2 years. He was previously married for 20years and he still visits his ex in laws etc. Im not to happy about this should i tell him to stop seeing them or should i have to put up with it as he has known them for such ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi,
No you should not stop him.
What exactly are you putting up with, he's not seeing his ex is he?
If you have that attitude, you will upset him and maybe chase him away. He sounds a very caring person, and you should be proud of him.
I unde... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I'll push him away with my insecurities!
Q. i had a seven year relationship that ended due to his cheating. im with someone else now who had a similar relationship with his ex girlfriend. how do i stop myself thinking he will do the same as my ex? i love him very much but im scared i will ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi
Dont worry, he will know how this feels if it happened to him.
Try to relax about it all, and it will get easier. As time goes on you will find this feeling fades, and you will be able to trust agaain. If you get a bit insecure, tell him why,... (read in full...)
I feel so guilt, but I can't stop cheating! I need opinions so I can realize how selfish I'm being.
Q. I'm a young mom married to an older guy and i have cheated!! I met this guy recently and we both liked each other. He satisfies me not just sexually but emotionally too and i think that's what i am craving for. We are very intimate now and i know ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi,
Well thats a good start I guess, to know you are being really selfish.
Have you thought how your husband would react if you got found out, I would suspect he would be extremly hurt. But not only that, have you considered how it will effect y... (read in full...)
My husband and stepson have physically abused me. I want to leave, but fear hurting the children we have together. And where would I stand financially?
Q. I have been married for 17rs and have suffered some physical abuse from my husband and from my stepson, whom my husband stuck up for. We no longer have any common interests and i need the courage to leave but am frightened to lose everything. We ...
A. 5 January 2007: Hi,
Financially, you are entitled to at least half of everything. If you have dependant's,i.e your children are still in education, you will possibly get more. As it will be you that will look after them.
On a second note. How brave of you to decid... (read in full...)
Heartsick over her playing around with an old bf..will we ever be able to build the trust again?
Q. I need help. First, the background. I met a girl the end of September, and we really hit it off. The end of October, we both said "I love you". She is mid to late 20's and I am mid 30's, there is 8 years between us. I decided to take her on a qu...
A. 3 January 2007: Hi there,
I can never understand people hiding there text messages. If there not up to anything why would you care if your partner reads them, because they usually are hiding something, as you have found out. And as for breaking trust, does she dese... (read in full...)
My husband thinks about three things (in this order).... Sex, Food and Action Films. Nothing else!
Q. How can I persuade my husband to help me with the house work. Most of the time (not always) He's kind to me until we have sex. He smiles, talks to me with sweet words,etc. But after we made it, he just sit on the couch and watch TV, no matter if I'm ...
A. 3 January 2007: Simple, he is selfish.
Not all men are like that though. Have you tried telling him you need a hand now and then. Try to get him interested in the cooking, it can be fun.
My boyfriend does absolutely nothing around the house, but i dont find thi... (read in full...)
My friend is cheating on her boy with her ex... and getting us involved in her lies!
Q. My friend is cheating on her b.f. with her ex. She's been telling everyone (including me) a whole bunch of lies just to keep both the guys. She's used mine and another female friend's names everywhere to cover her a**. Now her b.f. thinks badly ...
A. 3 January 2007: Hi,
You must feel really awkward about this. I feel your friend is being totally unfare to you. If she were my mate I would tell her that I am not going to cover for her anymore. But whatever you do, dont tell her boyfriend. All this will do is caus... (read in full...)
How do you know if a older guy who likes you, isn't just a perv?
Q. How do you know if a older guy likes you if he isnt a perv or anything nasty but really sweet and kind and shy? We are 10 years between our age. ...
A. 2 January 2007: Hi
Yes I agree with SHANDY POP. It really does depend on your age. My friend married a man when she was 17 and he was 34. Nobody thought it would last, but they are still together almost 30 years later.
If you are very young and this man is perve... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my best mate's ex... girls - need your input on what she may be thinking
Q. Very long story slightly shorter, I got back from a stay out of the country to find that one of my best friends had a pleasant new girlfriend. She was around whenever he was around and we were on good terms very quickly. They dated for almost 2 ...
A. 2 January 2007: Hi,
Do you think you may have scared her,she could have thought you were trying to back off.
Dont forget this lady has already been deeply hurt by one of your mates, is it poissible that she thinks you may do the same. Sometimes people back off... (read in full...)
Nasty fella just with me for sex?
Q. Whenever my boyfriend gets wasted he ends up arguing with me and splitting up with me. He apologises the next day and acts like nothing happened. But i hurt for ages after. On sat night, he was downing shots of wine in a game, and it brought a real ...
A. 19 December 2006: Sorry but I think my answer is still the same. You have now decided he is not so bad after all, but a good man would not have said those things in the first place.
If you read my reply back the first time, i told you i had been in the same situ... (read in full...)
me or her? Will he make that decision?
Q. Hi please help me with coping mechanisms. I have never been so in love in my life. I have always behaved like a little girl and would leave my relationships if there is a threat of another woman. What I have realized now is that those women could ...
A. 18 December 2006: If this guy was with you when he got the other one pregnant, im not sure why you would give him the time of day , let alone try to win him back. You say you have been treated like this before, and others have taken your boyfriends away. Why is this, ... (read in full...)
Nasty fella just with me for sex?
Q. Whenever my boyfriend gets wasted he ends up arguing with me and splitting up with me. He apologises the next day and acts like nothing happened. But i hurt for ages after. On sat night, he was downing shots of wine in a game, and it brought a real ...
A. 18 December 2006: I agree with the others im affraid. This person does not deserve for you to even try and work things out. What an absolute pig.
You must feel so low at the moment, but the trouble is, only you can make yourself better. If you can leave him, you ... (read in full...)
Media images of scantily clad females, what do YOU think?
Q. The Lynx advert; 'Spray more, get more...' with loads of scantily clad females leaping over rocks and parts of their bodies leaping around too, in which to race towards some rather gormless looking guy with a leery grin on his face. What do you thin...
A. 18 December 2006: Simple really is'nt it. SEX SELLS. Some may not like it, but its true.
If he had a bunch of fatish girls chasing after him in this advert (by the way im fairly round myself)who would want to buy it. We all see these images every day. I find it so h... (read in full...)
I dumped her but expected her to contact me but she hasn't! Am I regretting all I did?
Q. Hi I finished with a girl I had been seeing as things were great then they were not. I have not been with anyone serious for years. This girl really made an impact on me, she was pretty different, fun no hangups. Although she start getting pr...
A. 15 December 2006: Well hopefully she has exepted it and will move on to a better person. Men like you make me laugh, you finish with the poor girl because she is fun with no hang ups and likes you a lot. (WELL WHAT A CRIME THAT IS). Now you are wondering why she is ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me, now all she does is ask me for money.
Q. Guys..... I'm feeling very lonely and VERY VERY lost right now... Well ever since my ex-gf broke up with me about 3 months ago ive been suffering from depression and loneliness. Ever since we broke up she has been asking me for money because ...
A. 15 December 2006: Oh my god, its not her that needs help honey its you! What are thinking to let a person treat you like this. If I knew who she was I think I would slap her. PLEASE dont give this girl anything else, you are not her parent, and if she is in trouble ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is poor, he's selfish and I keep finding porn... What now?
Q. I keep findin porn hidden in my bf's stuff, he says he's stopped using it, but I don't believe him seeing as I get rid of it and them more suddenly appears. Our sex life is poor and rare. I have to initiate and he's extremely selfish he pleases ...
A. 15 December 2006: You are obviously having trouble dealing with all this, and that is no joke. Its strange what some men like to look at, but we all have different tastes. My partner cannot understand my obsession with buying shoes, (to me they are as good as sex, ... (read in full...)
He got his ex pregnant - now I'm hurting, jealous and confused. Any advice?
Q. Dear All Please help me my boyfriend made someone pregnant. The pregnant woman is the ex (so he says) and I have only been dating this guy for two months now and this is very difficult for both of us. I have known him for a while before I dated h...
A. 14 December 2006: Hi,
As i see it, you are not in a triangular relationship, as you say, he is with you and not this other girl. Are you sure she is pregnant and not just using it to get him back. I would find out for sure before you really worry. If the girl is preg... (read in full...)
His exwife says hurtful things about me to their kids and it makes me want to walk out!
Q. How do I deal with my boyfriend's exwife? She is so crazy - I do what ever I can for their four kids and still she uses the kids and tells them mean stuff about me. I want to walk out b/c I hate hurting them kids. ...
A. 14 December 2006: Hi there,
There is nothing you can do, apart from, if you love this man, ride out the storm. If you were to blame for the break up, this is unfortunatly what you will get. But in time she will get over it. The kids will do as they want. And no matt... (read in full...)
Our sex life is poor, he's selfish and I keep finding porn... What now?
Q. I keep findin porn hidden in my bf's stuff, he says he's stopped using it, but I don't believe him seeing as I get rid of it and them more suddenly appears. Our sex life is poor and rare. I have to initiate and he's extremely selfish he pleases ...
A. 14 December 2006: Hi there,
You are not going to stop him, and as you think he is selfish why are you with him. It could be he has a low sex drive and is nothing to do with porn.
I realise that it upsets a lot of women, knowing there other half looks at porn. I ... (read in full...)
Can a happily married guy really be "just friends" with a single attractive girl?
Q. So I've been married for 6 years, been with my wife 11 years and have never come close to having an affair or even flirt with another woman. Out of nowhere this "girl next door" literally, I can easily see into her bedroom while standing in fron...
A. 14 December 2006: Hi there,
I think its easy for this to happen, and will happen to a lot of people in there lives, so dont blame yourself for that.
HOWEVER, You most likely only see this girl when she is out and about, she is a bit carefree, younger and maybe mo... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed of my body since he's been looking at porn - I feel this could break us apart
Q. Pornography - How do I cope, I can't compete Found out my fella has been using pornography when he stays in hotels.....this comes after an event 2-3 years ago when I found out he had been looking at porn on my computer.....nearly tore us appart t...
A. 14 December 2006: Im sorry if I caused any offence. I was mearly trying to point out that you dont have to compare yourself to anyone. I do not think that porn is a big deal, but clearly some people do. At least i have the courage to stand up and say so, and not ... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed of my body since he's been looking at porn - I feel this could break us apart
Q. Pornography - How do I cope, I can't compete Found out my fella has been using pornography when he stays in hotels.....this comes after an event 2-3 years ago when I found out he had been looking at porn on my computer.....nearly tore us appart t...
A. 13 December 2006: Hi,
Please dont make this into such a big issue,its really not.
As the other aunts and uncles have said, whats the big deal.
Why do you have to compete anyway, thats like saying if we look at fashion mags we should all be a size 0.
Look at it as... (read in full...)
She cheated on me and I've tried to forgive and forget - will it always hurt?
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me once, a week after we got together. She says it was only sex and doesn't know what got into her. She says it didn't mean a thing. She's been very open about it, apologetic, and has since then fallen in love with me as ...
A. 13 December 2006: The answer i beieve is yes,
It will always be in the back of your mind, but it will fade, honestly. People make mistakes, were human. Give her the benifit of the doubt, and see what happens. If she shows no sign of doing this again, then let it go. ... (read in full...)
She cheated on me and I've tried to forgive and forget - will it always hurt?
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me once, a week after we got together. She says it was only sex and doesn't know what got into her. She says it didn't mean a thing. She's been very open about it, apologetic, and has since then fallen in love with me as ...
A. 13 December 2006: The answer i beieve is yes,
It will always be in the back of your mind, but it will fade, honestly. People make mistakes, were human. Give her the benifit of the doubt, and see what happens. If she shows no sign of doing this again, then let it go. ... (read in full...)
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