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... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
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How can I stop him sending pictures on his phone?
Q. my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years keeps texting other girls. He has pictures of them and dirty messages which he sends and they send. He does not know I have seen them.....this time. I confronted him few months ago about them and he promised he would stop ...
A. 10 January 2008: Hi,
I felt so sorry for you when I read through your letter. What a Bars***, to do this while you are expecting.
It would be bad enough at anytime, but this is awfull.
If you have asked him to stop and he wont there's not a lot you can do. You ... (read in full...)
He has been looking for "local brothels." I thought our sexual life was great, we also have a child together. Is he cheating?
Q. Hi, i have never done anything like this before but i need to talk to someone. I have been in a relationship for 4yrs with a man i love dearly, we have a baby of 12weeks together who is amazing. My partner was married before he met me and has...
A. 9 January 2008: Talk to him, and tell him you know what he has done. Dont have an argument over it though, because it may be nothing to worry about.
Perhaps he was just bored and was looking out of curiosity, just to see if there were any.
Your only 22 and you ... (read in full...)
Found receipts of my husband's, which I suspect to indicate porn watching. What do you think?
Q. What is Video Pay TV on a hotel receipt. Is it porn? Found it on some of my husbands receipts when he was away on business. He denies it is porn, but has viewed porn many times behind my back, and would deny it no matter what anyway. He says he ...
A. 9 January 2008: Hi,
From the way that your letter read's I would say that he has to hide everything in case it upsets you. Are you against him watching porn, or is he just embarassed that he likes to look?
I know my boyfriend looks at porn and I cant say it bothe... (read in full...)
I can't get over the thought of her having sex with this other guy. How can I get it out of my head?
Q. Hello, I really need some help. It all started 2 years ago when the love of my life walked into my house. I fell in love and we got together. My life was great for about 2 months until she started acting different. And she ended up breaking up w...
A. 8 January 2008: Yes she is with you, and that's her past, which is where it should stay.
If you dont stop this, you will ruin things between you.
So what if she had sex with him on the moon, she is still your love now. Dont you think that when she remember... (read in full...)
If he's so attracted to me, why doesn't he want to get physical?
Q. I've been VERY close with my guy friend for about 5 months(we seen each other EVERY DAY and never tire!). We've talked about dating, or fooling around at least, but when the kiss that I expected NEVER came, I called him on it. (I've tried once ...
A. 8 January 2008: Could it be that if it goes wrong, he would lose a girl he really cares for.
You dont think that him having a casual relationship with you would be a problem, but maybe he does.
If its meant to be it will happen. My advice would be not to push and... (read in full...)
Is he sneaking with other women?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now, and we have had issues with his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, and female friend emailing and calling him. It seems as though he just can't stay away from other women. He says that he no longer keeps in ...
A. 8 January 2008: Hi,
How old is he? maybe he just likes the attention of females.
Tell him you dont like it, and you know about his other email address. Its not fair on you, even if they mean nothing to him. You should be his top priority, and he needs to see how ... (read in full...)
Should I be pregnant at this age?
Q. Me and my boyfriend has had sex without a condom loads off times in the past month to hav a baby because last year we found out i was pregnant but got an abortion because we was not ready but now i dont no if i am pregnant now because i hav just ...
A. 8 January 2008: Hi,
With any luck sweetheart your not pregnant. I cant believe that all you think you have to look forward in life to is having a baby.
What about your education, and the fun nights out you will miss. What about the holidays you wont be going on... (read in full...)
I'm a rich man's mistress, and he won't leave his wife for me. What should I do?
Q. why is it that the good ones get hurt? ive had a terrible experience with my previous boyfreind.abuse of every kind.just when i was getting back on my feet,which might i ad took me five years.i met this man.he was funny,sincere,kind..allthe things i ...
A. 8 January 2008: Hi,
The problem with becoming a mistress, is that you are more than likely to get hurt. You knew that he had a wife and children, so you took your chance. There is nothing you can do about that. It could have gone the other way and the wife and moth... (read in full...)
Underage and having a relationship with a married man! - what do I do?
Q. Im in a relationship with a married man and i think im falling in love with him. I also really want to sleep with him but im under age by three years.please help and give me some advice on what to do....
A. 5 January 2008: Hi,
When you say you are having a relationship with this man what do you mean? is he taking you out on dates, stuff like that. Because if he is he needs reporting. You dont give you exact age, but its far to young to be hanging around with a marr... (read in full...)
Is he burying his head in the sand because he doesn't know how to deal with my depression?
Q. I have been really struggling with depression as a result of being poorly. I am taking anti-depressants but the thing that I want most is encouragement and support which I am not getting from anyone. I have been having good and bad days. The last ...
A. 5 January 2008: I really am sorry if I have upset you. I didnt mean to insinuate that you wasn't ill. I was just trying to point out that the best way to get over it is to get back to normal.
The doctors in this country give out anti-depresants like they are swee... (read in full...)
Is he burying his head in the sand because he doesn't know how to deal with my depression?
Q. I have been really struggling with depression as a result of being poorly. I am taking anti-depressants but the thing that I want most is encouragement and support which I am not getting from anyone. I have been having good and bad days. The last ...
A. 5 January 2008: Hi,
Depression is extremely hard to cope with. For the person thats ill and also the person who is trying to be suportive.
You say that you are ok to go out socialy but dread going to work, well can you blame everyone for thinking you are putting ... (read in full...)
He anally raped me, treated me like a toy. Should I finish with him?
Q. me and my boyfriend were having sex the other night, and he asked me for anal. I've done it once before with him and didnt really enjoy it but it didnt hurt so i thought it would be fine again, not realising last time i dont it i was very drunk ...
A. 5 January 2008: Totally agree with the moderator Phil.
You are making excuses now, for what your boyfriend did to you, so how can anyone help you?.
I'm sure he is sorry, that doesn't mean that he wont want to do it again though.... (read in full...)
Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
Q. ok on sunday i was talking to this boy on msn that most of my freinds know we were talking he said i was beutiful and fit he also asked if i wanted to meet up with him somewhere i said not this week because i am busy and when we go back to school. ...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi,
Dont ever expect a guy to admit that he's a player love. The guy is a liar, and he just wants to have as many girls on the go as he can.
How can you get back at him?. You already did!! You didnt fall for his crap.
XX... (read in full...)
Should I stay broken up for good?
Q. so tonight i was out with my friend and i deceided to stop by my boyfriends friends house on the way home just to see if he was there and say hi. well i drove up and saw his car so i pulled along side of it. then! he took off driving in his car as ...
A. 4 January 2008: Of course you have done the right thing. This man is a liar and a cheat. You will be much better off without him.
Take care and Happy New Year XXX... (read in full...)
Can anyone advise me how to cope with this?
Q. Worst Boxing Day Ever. Hi,Boxing day, my wife of 4 years says "i dont love you any more,ive felt like this for the last 6 months".Our mariage is over,w'eve been together for 10 years in total.I am having a very difficult time coming to terms wi...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi, Sorry to hear that, its a horrible thing to happen. My ex husband walked out on me years ago on Christams day, after lunch of course. He left me with two young children, totally distroyed, so I know where you are coming from. My ex left me ... (read in full...)
How can I be sure I took her virginity?
Q. Before I met my girlfriend she was almost raped,a guy forced himself on her,but didn`t penetrate very far(just about the head),she was a virgin and she bled. A year ago, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time,she told me afterwards that i b...
A. 4 January 2008: How can you be sure YOU took her virginity. What the hell does it matter!! hasnt she been through enough. She obviously loves you, so why even think about it.... (read in full...)
He anally raped me, treated me like a toy. Should I finish with him?
Q. me and my boyfriend were having sex the other night, and he asked me for anal. I've done it once before with him and didnt really enjoy it but it didnt hurt so i thought it would be fine again, not realising last time i dont it i was very drunk ...
A. 4 January 2008: I will say one thing Honey. If this happened to a friend of yours and she asked you what she should do. What would you advise her?.... (read in full...)
I need to know if there is any way I can get him to change, because he is a spender.
Q. My boyfriend is 26, I am 18. We care about each other very much, and have a wonderful relationship... only one problem... HE IS SUCH A LITTLE BOY. He still lives at home, has no car, and only pays $200 a month to live with his grandmother. He has ...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi,
He wont change until he is forced to. Why does he need to with all the support he is getting?
I know this may sound drastic, but you could try finishing with him and see what happens. If he loves you he will try to get you back, and if he cant ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of jeopardising my final exams because my ex's mother arranged his marriage to separate him from me! How will I concentrate?
Q. Hello everyone and Happy New Year. I am going thru a really hard time right now and really need some advice. I have my medical finals next month (to become a doctor) and I can't concentrate because of it. I knew this guy for about 3 years on...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi,
Firstly.... Happy New Year,
Secondly, You sound like a fantastic person to have put up with the situation as long as you did. But like you say, he is a Mummy's boy, who will likely stay that way.
You have so much ahead off you to look forward... (read in full...)
How do I make anal enjoyable for both me and my boyfriend?
Q. How do I make anal enjoyable for both me and my boyfriend?...
A. 4 January 2008: Let him take it up the Bum, and you go off and buy some new shoes.
Well thats the only way I would enjoy it!!!... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be a paedophile (or an ephebophile)?
Q. I'm afraid I might be dating a peadophile. My boyfriend (nealry 20) is attracted Hannah Monatna who is 15, and I am so grossed out I can't even kiss him let alone make love to him. He makes jokes about him being an ebophile to his friends online (he ...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi,
I think you are really getting carried away here.
He is still very young and imature, and they do say that guys are around 3 years more imature than girls. That makes his mental age around 16.
Ok so its wrong to say things like that, but bo... (read in full...)
Is God the reason my answers aren't being posted?
Q. I don't understand. I've responded with reasonable answers to reasonable questions on this site and my answers are not being posted. Has anyone else had that problem? I've responded to some questions that are very meaningful to me becuase I've ...
A. 3 January 2008: You have to understand, that not everyone wants to hear the word God. Unfortunatly it sounds like you are preaching. Maybe you could offer some advice without mentioning religion.
After all, most wars are caused by religion, and the difference in w... (read in full...)
I met a girl online, but I worry some issues I have will ruin a relationship
Q. I met a woman on the internet about 2 years ago.When we first started to chat we told each other alot about each other.Her past scared me off but we still talked.After being in therapy,I relized anyone 46 is going to have a past just like I do.I ...
A. 3 January 2008: You have taken a massive step if you think about it. If she moves nearer 200-250 miles away, and you are willing to go that far without even thinking of that as a distance, you must really like her.
I am sure that once your grandma gets her head... (read in full...)
Is a door worth breaking up for?
Q. This guy I kissed New Year's called me last night and said he would call me today but hasn't. We were maybe going to hang out this week before he goes on a business trip on Friday. Anyway, he is my friend's friend, and at the party I guess my frien...
A. 3 January 2008: The problem is that if you do start to date this man, you may well have to choose between them. If they have offered to pay what they can, and he is still not satisfied with what they could offer. I think he is being rather petty.
Your right, a do... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to open up to me?
Q. Heya again I posted a question yesterday about my girlfriend being distant from me i think the title was any ideas as to why my gf seems to be ignoring me?? (i got some helpfull answers thanks).Anyway i decided to talk to her and find out what her...
A. 2 January 2008: Hi,
I agree with the last poster, dont keep asking her. If its meant to be and all that stuff. But you trying to force the issue is making you sound a bit desperate, even though your not.
How about Bowling, then it will be to lively and to loud to ... (read in full...)
Does he fancy my friend, who's just been dumped? He said he meant to comfort her by this allusion at my expense.
Q. I've been seeing my new boyfriend for a month and up until now, things were perfect, until last night. We went out for a few drinks, then bumped into a friend of mine who has just been dumped, and my b/f was like, "Oh, whoever dumped you must be mad ...
A. 2 January 2008: Honey!! He was just being a man. They have a habbit of opening there mouths before they think. No offence boy's X... (read in full...)
Love words and the importance we confer them. Is the language in which we pronounce them of any relevance?
Q. I was just wondering what reader's partners would do if they heard the word Ti Amo said to them? (sounds strange, this question, but I'd like your views) Ti Amo means (from a web description) It means that you want the person well – very well...
A. 2 January 2008: I think it sounds lovely, I wish my boyfriend would say this to me.
X... (read in full...)
I met a girl online, but I worry some issues I have will ruin a relationship
Q. I met a woman on the internet about 2 years ago.When we first started to chat we told each other alot about each other.Her past scared me off but we still talked.After being in therapy,I relized anyone 46 is going to have a past just like I do.I ...
A. 2 January 2008: Hi,
You do sound very insecure, and I think personally that living with your grandmother isnt helping. No matter what she has done for you in the past, you cannot dedicate your life to doing whatever she wants.
I think its very admarable that you... (read in full...)
My partner hit me, and I'm 10 weeks pregnant with his child. I'm confused...
Q. i am 10 weeks pregnant and have a child already to the same guy, he argued with me because he wanted the house tidying and because i said i was changing my daughter he cme up to my face and threw a tea towel at me in my face so i went in to his face ...
A. 2 January 2008: Hi Honey,
Has he ever hit you before?
You need to stick up for yourself and leave him for a night or two alone to think about what he has done. Dont ever put up with a guy laying his hands on you like that. A short sharp shock may make him think tw... (read in full...)
There is violence within my family and I'm scared. Help me!
Q. Im 12 years old. My parents and my sister and always fighting and my dad has often been close to becoming violent on my sister and Im scared my parents will start fighting with me! Any ideas on how I can stop that happening (other than doing as...
A. 2 January 2008: Hi,
How old is your sister I wonder?. Is she pushing your parents a bit far, and starting arguments for no reason.
I am affraid that doing as we are told is part of growing up, we all have to go through this. Are your parents asking you to do anyth... (read in full...)
Who do you think I should go for? They both know I like them, but I don't want to lead anyone on, I'd rather just go with one girl and stick with her.
Q. OK so I'm in a bit of a spot and I can't make up my mind... I like two girls, but I don't have any intentions of trying to date both of them, or to see one of them on the side or any of that. I'm having a hard time deciding which of these two gir...
A. 4 December 2007: Personality wins every time.
Why would you want to date a girl you cant really talk to?. Maybe the girl with the great personality will be faithfull, you cant tell that she wont be, unless you give her a chance.
Xx... (read in full...)
How can I stop my girlfriend taking this job at a strip bar?
Q. My girlfriend took off her top at a strip bar on a dare. The manager there asked her if she’d like to work there. She said she’s thinking about it!! He told her she could make five hundred a night. She works as a waitress now, but thinks she can ...
A. 4 December 2007: Hi,
You cant! if she is that determind. But if she loves you, and knows this is going to upset you, and she still goes ahead. Well, she couldnt have thought that much of your relationship.
It would be different if you didnt mind, but you obviousl... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have sex with another man to get pregnant!
Q. My wife is desperate to get pregnant. She is 39 and we have been trying for about 4 years. She doesn't want to do IVF we tried IUI and she hated it. A good friend has offered to have sex with her (unprotected) to see if that would work. (nb I am not ...
A. 4 December 2007: Hi,
I wouldnt go there if I were you. If there is nothing wrong with your sperm count, its not you is it? And what will having sex with another man do, as there is obviously something wrong with her. Anyway even if you did decide to use this frie... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was a peeping tom and I am disgusted but we are getting married.
Q. Can you help me...last week i found on a camera a recording of a girl getting dressed in front of a window, my boyfriend had been standing in her garden watching her. He did this about three years before we got together and told me he was depressed ...
A. 28 November 2007: Hi,
Was he actually charged with this crime?. If he was it would be easy to find out how far he has gone.
I would find out the truth before you marry him. He may well have been depressed, but what does that have to do with him spying on another ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregant with another mans child...what should I do??
Q. My girlfriend is pregnant by another man! I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 6 years. Over the last 3 years or so she has had an increasing problem with drink and because of this, she has been telling lies over the most stupid things. ...
A. 28 November 2007: Hi,
What an awfull thing to go through. Should you get rid of her!! I guess the obvious answer would be Yes.
The thing is, you are going to have to put up with so much if you stay with her. The arguments, the trust issue, and to top it all bringin... (read in full...)
I feel totally betrayed by her moving on so quickly.
Q. Hi everyone, I know I've been droning on about this, but I'm trying to make sense of it in my head and up until now I'm totally unsuccessful. My ex told me she loved me, but due to a bit of stupid drunken self pity, text her 2 days later asking h...
A. 28 November 2007: HI,
You can still love someone but not want to be with them anymore. My guess is, that although she may have had strong feelings for you, she has realised that she is not happy with the way your relationship was going. For whatever reason she had ... (read in full...)
5 month since my break up, but I'm not sure how to feel. Can you help? Is it a good idea that I'm avoiding her?
Q. Hi everybody, it's Andy00. Not posted a question for a while now. Things have gotten much better for me this past month. I'm not sure why, because I don't think anything has changed. I have just felt a little stronger about the situation I have...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi Andy,
Sorry love, but your not there yet. You still need to avoid her.
You can read between the lines in your letter that you still struggle with the fact you split and cannot stand the thought of reading about her life without you.
Only when... (read in full...)
Is there a better way of approaching than asking if they want a drink?
Q. when i approach agirl in a club or pub i usally ask if they want a drink , it hardly works and cost money . is there an more succsessfull way because im single and i dont want to be...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi
Thats because if you buy a girl a drink that you dont know, they think you are trying to buy them. If you strike up a conversation and are getting on well, then you can offer a drink. There are no rules as to what will work on chatting up the ... (read in full...)
My wife left me and the kids, her sister stepped up to the plate to help, but I'm falling for her, what should I do?
Q. My ex walked out on me and our kids and her younger sister came to stay with us for a while just to help me look after my children because suddenly becoming a single Dad without any warning was totally mind blowing to me. We've settled down a bit ...
A. 23 November 2007: Hi,
You are on the rebound, so be very carefull. I feel personally it would be a bad mistake to tell the sister how you are feeling at the moment. It could push her away, and ruin the freindship that you have with her.
You need some time to think... (read in full...)
What is wrong with this guy?
Q. Today we were in class watching a movie and this guy I hate had to leave and while he was gone he's friends put water in his seat. He came back and sat in it. Anyways a few minutes later he's trying to pour the excess water on/near me and I start ...
A. 23 November 2007: Hi there,
I totally agree with the last Aunt. It seems you both have a little thing about each other going on there.
The fact that you want to beat him up speaks volumes. I think you have a crush darling.
XX... (read in full...)
Husband having midlife crisis?? I want affection from him but I've read men don't offer it during this time. What can I do?
Q. I am a 31 yr old female with a 37 yr old husband of 10 yrs, been together 15, have 2 boys, 4 and 7. Husband I think is going through midlife crisis. Last yr he decided to have an affair for 2 months in which i caught him in, he then moved out, ...
A. 13 November 2007: You sound like a very resonable lady, maybe a little too resonable. I wonder if it had been the other way around would have had you back.
I am sorry but I dont believe in the Mid-Life crisis thing either. We all have our ups and downs in life, but ... (read in full...)
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