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*ELLULAH agony aunt

*ELLULAH

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*ELLULAH's profile:

Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.

I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [31 pages, 1181 answers]

I trust him but I don't trust his ex, and from his text messages it seems he met up with her at 3am last night! I cant talk to him about this so what should I do?

Q.   Hi, i need some serious advice.i'm not the kind of person who would normally do this as whenever i have a conflict, i believe i am mature enough to handle it myself. but this is something that is really messing me up.me and my boyfriend have almost ...

A.   22 March 2011: Sweetie, I dont think you really want to hear our opinions. Or maybe you did, but we didnt say what you wanted to hear. Its up to you what you do with your life, but I would put a bet on that this guy is up to no good, otherwise he wouldnt keep ... (read in full...)

I'm still a virgin at 20!

Q.   im going to be twenty in 2 days and im still a virgin. is this normal? at times i lie awake at night and despise myself for it. other times i think its fine and i shouldnt worry. ive considered losing it to an escort-going so far as to make the ...

A.   21 March 2011: Of course you wont silly! Not everyone loses it at the same time. It will happen, just be patient. When you find a girl that is special to you, it will happen naturally. Just dont try to rush things! X... (read in full...)

How do I best maintain my relationship with my teenage son when I start dating after divorce?

Q.   I would like advice on how to make my relationship with my 13 y.o. son the best it can be after divorce. His Mom and I parted over a year ago, and were recently divorced. We have both moved on with new partners, and while I wish we could have ...

A.   21 March 2011: Hi, Sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job. I think you are worrying to much, and as long as you let him get used to it in his own pace, all will be fine. He needs to know that you and your ex wife support him and love him, and that you... (read in full...)

I trust him but I don't trust his ex, and from his text messages it seems he met up with her at 3am last night! I cant talk to him about this so what should I do?

Q.   Hi, i need some serious advice.i'm not the kind of person who would normally do this as whenever i have a conflict, i believe i am mature enough to handle it myself. but this is something that is really messing me up.me and my boyfriend have almost ...

A.   21 March 2011: Hi Hun, You say you trust him but not her? I dont understand why? He is the one that lied to you not her, and he is very secretive by the sound of it. Its up to you, but from where I see it there is something going on. My partner is mates with h... (read in full...)

Emotional affairs - how did it turn out?

Q.   Please give me advice!!!! History- married 15 years to highschool sweetheart. Never dated anyone else really. I have 2 children 13 and 8. I am a very attracted women with a great career. My husband and have had out ups and downs but overall I Sm hap...

A.   21 March 2011: Well there will be a lot of people on here that know exactly how you feel. Thats how a lot of us come on here in the first place. Broken relationships and affairs, are very common. I understand that you feel rather let down by your hubby, but beli... (read in full...)

Do you think the man I am having an affair with is seeing someone else?

Q.   Please don't judge me... I am married and am having an affair with a recently separated man. (We hooked up when he was married last year). To give a brief hx, I knew him from the past yet never hooked up. Well we did last year and had sex. I never...

A.   21 March 2011: Hi, I think you are focusing on the wrong thing here! I understand that you are in an unhappy relationship, but you are having an affair with a man, that clearly does not see you as his future. You honey need to sort your life out, and your chi... (read in full...)

How long will it take to move on from her?

Q.   I was in a realtionship for 18 years, my partner left me for another man with very little explanation. It's been a few years now since she left, I just wanted to know how long it would take to move on from her and would she have had any guilt. I ...

A.   20 August 2010: Hi, I understand how low you must feel over this, but the other Aunt is right, you will never move on because your still living in the past. Who cares if she regrets it or not? start thinking about yourself, and give somebody else the chance t... (read in full...)

I want to end this affair but she is always saying how strong her feelings are for me!

Q.   I am having a relationship with a work collegue, who is married. She keeps saying she has feelings for me but only stays in her marriage because of her children. This has been going on for about two years. Certain things dont add up and I want to ...

A.   20 August 2010: Yes I do have some advice "Dont let yourself be used then" You are quite capable of finding someone wth no commitments. So why dont you? If this lady really loves you, she will end her marriage and be with you. But is that what you want? In my... (read in full...)

He ended it so he could work on his issues, should I wait for him?

Q.   My love and I broke up about a month ago . we have seen each other three times now in socail situtation . Plus we run into each other at work . Even though it was his idea for the break up . He still looks at me with that love sick puppy look ...

A.   20 August 2010: Hi, Sounds like you both had a really rough time lately. Your B/F sounds like he is trying to put his life back in order, and thats fantastic and very brave of him. You darling, need to look out for yourself though. I'm not saying dont wait... (read in full...)

How do I build a wall between me and this colleague...?

Q.   I had sex with my colleague, whom I have fancied for a long time, (I never hinted that I liked him though), he has been having fantasies about me as well. So, we did it but spoke first that there won't be feelings involved, as he has a girlfriend ...

A.   22 September 2009: Your both adults, and you took a risk. I dont believe that either of you really love your partners otherwise this would not have happened. Perhaps its time to move on and find a man that you can stay faithfull to.... (read in full...)

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to break up with him

Q.   I am in a dilemma. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now...long time! I do love him and most of the time everything is perfect...however every few weeks we have arguments about random things and I get so many doubts about our ...

A.   18 August 2009: Hi, As you get older your priority's change. What's important to you now, may not be in 10 years time. All I am saying is that you should trust you heart. Because I had a wonderfull B/F when I was at school, and we stayed together for almost 7... (read in full...)

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to break up with him

Q.   I am in a dilemma. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now...long time! I do love him and most of the time everything is perfect...however every few weeks we have arguments about random things and I get so many doubts about our ...

A.   18 August 2009: Go with your heart..if you feel you are missing out, then find out. But dont leave your B/F for another guy, because it will only cloud your judgement. Have some time on your own, and have some fun with your mates. A word of warning though "The gras... (read in full...)

He seems insensitive - should I dump him?

Q.   Hi - I have been with my boyfriend 3 years but I am worrying we are just not compatible because every now and then he says the most insensitive things. Just one example which plays on my mind and still upsets me was before Xmas my 92 year old ...

A.   18 August 2009: Hi again, What a complete heartless bastard. He is trying to make you feel bad for HIS horrible remarks. Dump him honey, you dont need a man like that in your life. XXX... (read in full...)

Will using a vibrator make it harder for me to orgasm during sex?

Q.   okay so i use a back masager or idk but it just vibrates but anyways i use that to have orgasms i put it right on my clit i dont move it around or anything i jus set it there..im just wondering can that make it harder for me to hav an orgasm during ...

A.   18 August 2009: Oh! your post said 13-15 I assumed you were around 13. Which was a bit of a shock LOL.... (read in full...)

Why do I burn after sex?

Q.   I'm 16 and ii been haveing sex with my boyfriend WITHOUT a condom and we have sex 10 times a day so i was wondering why my pravit part burns after we finish ???...

A.   18 August 2009: Your wondering why your private parts hurt so much? "10 times a day" would be the answer honey. Your body cannot take it, and you could also have given yourself thrush. ... (read in full...)

Am I out of order for not wanting him to be around these strippers all the time?

Q.   So, My boyfriend owns a strip club. It may sound sleazy but he actually took it over after his brother that owned it died and it does make a lot of money so I would not want to ask him not to give that up. and I actually met him working as a ...

A.   18 August 2009: Hi, You came from this world, so you know the downfalls. You like the money but you dont like the life anymore? It doesnt sound like he wants to move on and drop the old lifestyle, so you either "put up, or shut up" I'm affraid. Or you could le... (read in full...)

Will using a vibrator make it harder for me to orgasm during sex?

Q.   okay so i use a back masager or idk but it just vibrates but anyways i use that to have orgasms i put it right on my clit i dont move it around or anything i jus set it there..im just wondering can that make it harder for me to hav an orgasm during ...

A.   18 August 2009: God almighty! When I was 13 all I could think of doing, was being able to jump the big brook in the park. Times have changed obviously!... (read in full...)

Should I continue to confide in my sister?

Q.   I think my sister has seriously thought about killing my husband. My husband is not a good person, and the more i confide in her, i think it just makes her angerier, and if he was gone it really would be better for me and the children. He isn't ...

A.   18 August 2009: If you seriously think she would kill him, then perhaps you shouldnt tell her. He sounds awfull, so make plans to get away as soon as you can. Your sister wont be much help to you in prison will she? XXXX... (read in full...)

He seems insensitive - should I dump him?

Q.   Hi - I have been with my boyfriend 3 years but I am worrying we are just not compatible because every now and then he says the most insensitive things. Just one example which plays on my mind and still upsets me was before Xmas my 92 year old ...

A.   18 August 2009: YES...He is showing his true colours, and that he thinks more of his life and himself. I wouldnt give him the time of day, because he almost wished your Grandmother dead because it didnt fit in with his plans. My guess is though, that you wont ditc... (read in full...)

My friends make fun of me and call me fat...but I'M NOT FAT!

Q.   ok so. Pretty much all of my friends are non stop making fun of me for being fat. BUT IM NOT FAT! When im not there they talk about how fat i am and draw pictures of how fat i am. dont say theyre jealous cus theyre all skinnier than me. but im still ...

A.   9 July 2009: They dont sound like friends to me, I would ditch them right away. And NO your not fat. XX... (read in full...)

Gaga for Lady Gaga!

Q.   My husband has become completely obsessed with Lady GaGa. I mean obsessed!! On the computer are hundreds of pictures and files about her, and even emails arranging to meet with her! We barely have sex anymore, because he feels I'm not enough ...

A.   9 July 2009: Oh well that's constructive!!! Idiot.... (read in full...)

How can I help my best friend?

Q.   Ok my Best friend in the whole wide world i knew her since 2nd grade she is 2 months odlder than me and he is into drugs and sex she has pretty big boobs(double d) and that is why alot of the guys she dates (wich most of them are 17-20)like her and ...

A.   9 July 2009: Hi, She sounds like she has gone on a self destruct mission. There will always be a problem at the back of this somewhere, it could be her parents. Telling her she will die, and all the other stuff you are saying wont help, believe me I know. It... (read in full...)

Gaga for Lady Gaga!

Q.   My husband has become completely obsessed with Lady GaGa. I mean obsessed!! On the computer are hundreds of pictures and files about her, and even emails arranging to meet with her! We barely have sex anymore, because he feels I'm not enough ...

A.   9 July 2009: Hi, I think the only one thats Ga-Ga is your husband. Has he lost the plot? I thought this was quite funny, but if you are serious it must be very distressing for you. You know he obviously must be lying dont you? I really dont know what to tell... (read in full...)

Would-be 2 year anniversary coming up with my ex and I'm not coping!

Q.   What would have been my two year anniversary with my ex is this sunday and Ive been so upset all week. We broke up for good in February after going back and forth for a while. We cut all contact four days after my birthday and I havent spoken t...

A.   19 May 2009: Honey!! some things are just not meant to be. No matter how badly we want them. The best thing you can do is to stop sitting waiting for him to change his mind, because he probably wont. I know its hard for you, but you have to move on. If it was ... (read in full...)

I'm not gay but I like the idea of it!

Q.   hi ppl, im straight and have a gf, but i like this show i watch and its kinda guy on guy relationship show aimed at teenage girls. i like it cuz its funny and interesting, but when this 1 scene in the first episode where the 2 guys kiss, i just wish ...

A.   1 May 2009: Its hard not to worry about what people will think, but its even harder to live a lie. Its only as complex as you make it, you dont have to choose either one if you dont want to. Life is all about choices, and as long as you dont hurt your G/F by ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend complains I don't tell him enough how I feel about him

Q.   I've only been with him for 4 months but he's complaining that he doesn't know if I like him or not and that I don't compliment him or tell him how much I like him. I just got out of a long term relationship and started this one shortly after. I ...

A.   30 April 2009: There is nothing wrong with you, you just want to wait till your sure. He sounds totally insecure with himself, and it will damage your relationship if he carries on. Kelly gave a good answer, saying little things would help and make him feel less ... (read in full...)

Would-be 2 year anniversary coming up with my ex and I'm not coping!

Q.   What would have been my two year anniversary with my ex is this sunday and Ive been so upset all week. We broke up for good in February after going back and forth for a while. We cut all contact four days after my birthday and I havent spoken t...

A.   30 April 2009: Hi Honey, Sorry to hear you are feeling this bad. If I were you, I would suround myself with my friends and go do something fun that you dont normally do. Yes you will be sad, but you will cope so much better with people round you. Dont give him... (read in full...)

I'm not gay but I like the idea of it!

Q.   hi ppl, im straight and have a gf, but i like this show i watch and its kinda guy on guy relationship show aimed at teenage girls. i like it cuz its funny and interesting, but when this 1 scene in the first episode where the 2 guys kiss, i just wish ...

A.   30 April 2009: Mmm I was going to say NO till I read the last part. Dont know if your actually gay, but you could definatly be BI. Watching a film does not make you gay, but if it goes further and you act on your feelings, then you will have to decide is your G/F ... (read in full...)

Should I call or let it be?

Q.   I have been with this guy for a few months. He knows that I wont do anything with him unless I get some kind of commitment but he still can't call himself my b/f because he isn't ready and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep. He did, ...

A.   30 April 2009: Hi Honey, To expect a guy to commit to you after only a few months, just for sex is a bit unrealistic. What if he had said to you "Yes I love you! Yes I want to marry you" then you had sex and he didnt call again. He is trying to be honest, wher... (read in full...)

Husband wants a threesome with me acting as a lesbian..I don't want it1

Q.   My Husband wants to experience threesome..... My husband is been forcing me or convincing me to go for threesome with him. His fantasy is to see with with a girl. He wants me to be lesbian and make out with a any girl. I am not just not comfort...

A.   20 April 2009: Oh, blah! blah! blah!, (not you, your husband) Why do men want this so much? Do us lady's dream of seeing our men done up the pooh box by another man. Tell him to sod off, and you dont want to do it. Or you will, if you can do a threesome with ano... (read in full...)

Why is my husband stingy with me?

Q.   I am married in about a year already. I am in a totaly new place and have known only a couple of friends. I had a job before but I quit when I got married and relocate to my husbands place. I had no jog for almost 8 mos, and now I just started a ...

A.   20 April 2009: OK, right well I have another veiw on this. You are 29 and he is in his 50's! is it at all possible that he thinks you married him for his money, and that you just want to lay around all day and not work? (I am not saying this is true by the way)... (read in full...)

Very interested in casual sex...what to do?

Q.   Iam in love with a woman who seems to be interested in. Since Iam much interested in casual sex, not sure what to do ? every time I touched she didnot say anything nor objected but still Iam afraid to express my feelings Iam in confusion is there ...

A.   20 April 2009: Hi, Do you mean that you cant have a relationship with this lady? How can you love her but just want casual sex?. If its just sex you want then tell her thats all you want, but dont tell her you love her. Lady's see sex as meaning somethin... (read in full...)

I live with my boyfriend and every single day I cry!

Q.   I live with my boyfriend who I have been with for a year now and every single day I cry. He makes me feel so lonely and unwanted. He never wants to spend any time with me at all, he's always busy on the computer or with his mates and he reckons ...

A.   20 April 2009: Oh my god! cut your loses and RUN. I put up with a man like that for 10 years, thinking all my mates were wrong and that he would get better over time. Do not waste another moment on this selfish man. He will never change. XX... (read in full...)

Loving a cheater

Q.   Dear Cupid im pregnant and love my boyfriend very much but the thing is he is cheating on me, when i ask him about it he always want to put the blame on other people, for instance he would blame me accusing me of listening to my brother's girlfr...

A.   20 April 2009: If you are sure he cheated, then you need time out. He needs to tell you the truth, to put your mind at ease. You must think about yourself and your baby, dont you deserve a man you can trust? Also if he can cheat on you now, it does not look good... (read in full...)

Curious 14 year old girl ....

Q.   hi i'm 14 and have done basically everything sexual. i was just wondering what age people have done different things eg. oral, lost virginity, anal, fantasies etc....

A.   20 April 2009: Maybe its me, but I cant see what it was that Eyes said that upset you so much. I would believe that she meant she thought this was a hoax, which I also thought myself. You are very aggresive in your reply's, but lets face it you are 14 and aske... (read in full...)

Curious 14 year old girl ....

Q.   hi i'm 14 and have done basically everything sexual. i was just wondering what age people have done different things eg. oral, lost virginity, anal, fantasies etc....

A.   14 April 2009: If you really have done all of this already, I am shocked. What are girls going to be like in another 20 years?? ... (read in full...)

Mom & boyfriend get along really well..I don't like it!

Q.   Hi guys,i need some advice. My mum and my boyfriend get on really well...i know its a good thing but at the same time it irritates the hell out of me! They jokingly gang up on me,taking the p*ss of things that know bother me. What makes it w...

A.   14 April 2009: Hun! Your Mum is the one with the problem, she sounds jelous of her own daughter. If you want her to stop then stop rising top the bait, its as simple as that. And tell you B/F not to get involved in arguments between you and your Mum or you will... (read in full...)

Curious 14 year old girl ....

Q.   hi i'm 14 and have done basically everything sexual. i was just wondering what age people have done different things eg. oral, lost virginity, anal, fantasies etc....

A.   14 April 2009: Erm!! this girl is 14 for god's sake. Or hoax....... (read in full...)

Will the age gap matter, or could it work for us?

Q.   hmmm well i feel i had no where else to go so my frustation is here wow where to start , im an older guy and have a much younger girlfriend ,we have been seeing each other for a little over a year, my problem is that im 20years older then her , i ...

A.   14 April 2009: Hey!!! We all make mistakes. She could have been like that if she had been 30 or 40, its just that you took the chance and unfotunatly it was the wrong decision. Its hard to get over a relationship when it all goes wrong, but you just have to keep... (read in full...)

I can't stop thinking about either of these men

Q.   i don't know what to do, sorry if i ramble a bit i think all this detail is important i am single and have really only had two significant boyfriends and i can't seem to move on and be happy. i met Boyfriend 1 in 1995 and went out with him for abo...

A.   7 April 2009: Hi Honey, Well you said it yourself, your past is a noose around your neck. You have done so well, and moved on in very positive ways. Trouble is! emotionally, you are still hankering on to what could have been. And here lies the problem.... (read in full...)

My lover is seeing someone else. Should I be worried? Am I being silly giving him grief over this?

Q.   My husband has alzheimers. I love him deeply, and I love and care for him. The illness has changed my life forever. I am a young 55 so in the end I met another man and we are lovers. I know it is wrong but I have some happiness here this way. I ...

A.   6 April 2009: Honey! you are in charge of the situation not him. If you really dont want to see him anymore then DONT. My guess is though that you do want to, and thats why you are not letting go. Its a no way situation, so take your own advice and walk away head... (read in full...)

It's tempting to leave home right now. I can (just about) wait. Have I got it all wrong?

Q.   Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl. I live with my parents in a nice house in a small town in England. We have a cat and a goldfish pond. And to be totally honest, I'm gonna go insane if I stay here too much longer. Don't get me wrong - I apprecia...

A.   6 April 2009: Because sweetie! Most people pay their way in life, by paying rent, mortgages, council tax and all the other stuff that squaters get away with. Just imagine if you worked hard to buy a house, and while you are away a load of squaters moved in... (read in full...)

My lover is seeing someone else. Should I be worried? Am I being silly giving him grief over this?

Q.   My husband has alzheimers. I love him deeply, and I love and care for him. The illness has changed my life forever. I am a young 55 so in the end I met another man and we are lovers. I know it is wrong but I have some happiness here this way. I ...

A.   23 July 2008: God almighty darling! you know how to bring grief into your life dont you? Sweetheart I understand that you need someone to show you efection, because it must be hell having to care for someone so seriously ill. But dont you have enough trouble with... (read in full...)

It's tempting to leave home right now. I can (just about) wait. Have I got it all wrong?

Q.   Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl. I live with my parents in a nice house in a small town in England. We have a cat and a goldfish pond. And to be totally honest, I'm gonna go insane if I stay here too much longer. Don't get me wrong - I apprecia...

A.   9 July 2008: Be carefull what you wish for, because not only are you wrong to want to go and live in a squat in the first place, but you are also putting your life in danger even if you cant see it. You say that you love your B/F to bits, imagine if he just ... (read in full...)

Will the age gap matter, or could it work for us?

Q.   hmmm well i feel i had no where else to go so my frustation is here wow where to start , im an older guy and have a much younger girlfriend ,we have been seeing each other for a little over a year, my problem is that im 20years older then her , i ...

A.   4 February 2008: Hi, You already know that you will have trouble, and of course people will make asumptions and stare a bit, probably out of jealousy mostly from the men. But when it comes down to it! why should you care about what people think. If you love eac... (read in full...)

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