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*agwood agony aunt

*agwood

South Africa  (Male   XML/RSS

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*agwood's profile:

I’m in my mid 40’s. Had a great but tempestuous childhood and really had a wild time in my early 20's. Been married once and had numerous relationships, the longest being 14 years. Sometimes I ended them, sometimes I got dumped! I’ve cheated and been cheated on! I've have restored my principles and values and believe in honesty and integrity and lots of love, passion & spice with the right lady. I’ve talked to friends and a counsellor about my personal issues, worked them through and learnt a lot so maybe I can help someone who's feeling lousy or who's a little lost. At least I’ll try…

1234Next > [4 pages, 133 answers]

Had an affair..am I doing the right thing by ignoring him?

Q.   i had an affair with a married man but recently i refused to accept his calls and even i acted so rude to him cuz i want to get out of his life.But i know he loves me.Am i doing the right thing by ignoring him? ...

A.   1 June 2007: Yes. You obviously know that having an affair is wrong but bravo you ended it! Change your numbers if he keeps trying to get hold of you. If this fails tell him you'll contact his wife but stay away, find someone who's available. Take care.... (read in full...)

In love with a girl who feels I am too good for her! What can I do?

Q.   im in love with a girl who feels that i am to good for her. as if thats not enough she cant stop thinking about all the pain she has caused me in the past i dont care about the past but she cant forget and its making her very sad. i've done all i ...

A.   1 June 2007: Hi. She probably is just trying to let you down gently and not hurt your feelings or loose you as a friend! Forget about her as a girlfriend and move on. If she changes her mind she will contact you. Take care.... (read in full...)

Gf told me to go find a 'sex' partner! Does she not love me and is she looking for an easier way out?

Q.   I live with my gf. going out for 5yrs. No sex for 2yrs since we started living 2gether. have been to therapist. no help. she says it hurts-(physically). im 25 and cant take it anymore. too embarased to admit it to any1. A guy my age should be having ...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi buddy, sorry to hear about your problem. Yes a guy of 25 who is living with his GF and is not a member of a sect or religious order should be having sex. It's obviously important to you and to most men so you need to sort this out ASAP. You've ... (read in full...)

Neighbor is wanting to call the police as his kid looked in our window, and saw us having sex! I think you should be able to do what you want in your own home! Any views?

Q.   My neighbour has threatened to call the police as his 11 year old son saw my partner and I having sex in our living room. he also says it is illegal to walk around naked. The boy must have been in our back garden looking in the window so surley h...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi Abby. I think your neighbour is totally out of order. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your own business. In fact if I was you I'd have a chat with the neighbour and tell him that you are considering going to the police yourselves ... (read in full...)

My penis is uncooperative when it comes to girls. Are there any excercises I can do to make it stand for a longer time?

Q.   hi i am sabbir from bangladesh...i am 22yrs old...my problem is that before i starts to have sex...my penis doesn't stand straight for much long...at some point it says straight for few minutes and sometime it doesn't stays more than a minute...even ...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi again Sabbir, please don’t call me sir, it makes me feel really old! My handle is Dagwood. Anyway, masturbation is a good thing; don’t let anyone tell you different. Sure you can use a little lubrication as this will ease friction but it’s not ... (read in full...)

I get aroused whenever I get involved... how can I stop it?

Q.   I don't know about most other young teen guys(I'm 16), but every time i get intimately involved with a girl, or just very close to her physically, i get somewhat aroused. What can i do to prevent this from "ruining" the moment? ...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi Polostick (!), this is quite normal for a guy of your age! Sorry I’m afraid but there are not too many ways of calming things down (besides chemicals but you don’t want to go there) at your age EXCEPT abstaining from the intimate contact. Have ... (read in full...)

My penis is uncooperative when it comes to girls. Are there any excercises I can do to make it stand for a longer time?

Q.   hi i am sabbir from bangladesh...i am 22yrs old...my problem is that before i starts to have sex...my penis doesn't stand straight for much long...at some point it says straight for few minutes and sometime it doesn't stays more than a minute...even ...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi Sabbir. Don't worry it just sounds like a case of nerves. Sometimes we just want to please the girl so much we don't think of ourselves or relax enough and this affects ones erection. Try looking at the girl’s breasts and your penis penetrating ... (read in full...)

How do I talk dirty to my husband in bed?

Q.   Hi, me and my husband have been married a year and we've been together for about 3 on and off and he wants me to talk dirty to him during sex but i always try but i always get this feeling of embarrassment when i try to how do i get over that?and ...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi Anon. Try standing or kneeling behind him on the bed or use a blindfold. Do this for the first few minutes each time you make love and it should break the ice. Think of things you would really like to do to him and him to you and tell him. Use ... (read in full...)

How do I stand against the pressure of my culture to treat women as objects?

Q.   Though treating women as sex objects by men is quite common and widely accepted norm in my culture, i frown upon the concept and genuinely like to respect women before making any intimate connections with them. However, there is too much pressure ...

A.   25 May 2007: Hi Anon. Well I think that by simply writing down your thoughts and clearly stating that you're against the way that your culture treats women is a very positive action. You've identified that it's immoral and just not right so now let your actions ... (read in full...)

Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?.

Q.   Hi all, Would like your thoughts on this subject. Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?. I remember when we first used to kiss and cuddle and it was like melting in his arms. The sex was the best ever, and we couldnt lea...

A.   23 May 2007: Hi Tellulah, I know what you mean. I'm a guy and I guess we just get complacent in a relationship when you ladies don't keep us on our toes... although I've also seen this happening to woman in a relationship. I think the thing is to make sure that ... (read in full...)

He sent me a text saying he was not ready to have a relationship. Was that his way of turning me down?

Q.   Do you think there is a way to patch things to kiss and make up, when the relationship has been driven to the wall. I am supposed to have broken up with my boyfriend of two months, but im thinking i should not break anything but to just keep quiet ...

A.   21 May 2007: Hi Anon. Sorry to hear about your break-up and how it's making you feel.Please don't think that you have a psychological problem just because someone breaks up with you or at the tender age of “20 something”, or you have not been able to have a ... (read in full...)

Why is he always looking for someone better?

Q.   We have been dating 9 years on an off. I found out that he had an affair for years with a coworker. He would break up with me for stupid stuff. He always seems to be looking for someone better why?...

A.   10 May 2007: Hi. Sounds like he's not happy with himself and does not really know what he wants. Maybe you just offer him a sense of security. It all depends on both your expectations. If they're not the same then you'll have problems. Spell it out to him and ... (read in full...)

I doesnt ejaculate when I perfome oral sex, what am I doing wrong ?

Q.   when I am performing oral sex on my new young boyfriend he never ejaculates even though he says it feels like he will.He says it has been that way with every one else but I feel like I am doimg something wrong or not right.HELP ME PLEASE! ...

A.   2 May 2007: I've had this condition in the past too but it's not too much of a problem. It's probably a combination of a few things; firstly his state of mind, maybe he's not really focusing on the feeling, maybe he needs more visual stimulation? In which case ... (read in full...)

Im extremely attracted to my girlfriend, so why do I go limp ?

Q.   My Girlfriend is extreamly atractive to me... and yet I'm worried. I can be completely in the mood, and both of us really getting into it... and then suddenly, out of nowhere, I go limp. Either durring sex or before. She say's that's not normal, and ...

A.   2 May 2007: Hi, don't worry too much about this, it happens to guys from time to time. You're probably so focused on trying not to loose your erection and trying to please your partner that you are putting too much pressure on yourself and thus you go "soft". ... (read in full...)

I had a one-night-stand with a 43 year old married man, now he says he loves me!

Q.   Im 21 and a month ago on a night out saw this gorgeous older man we looked at each other and smiled i instantly was attracted to him. I went over and we talked. we then went back to his hotel and made love. he is 43 i asked him was he separted from ...

A.   23 April 2007: Hi Lana, He could be having a mid-life crisis; perhaps he’s just bored at home after having sex with the same person for so long. He was obviously flattered when you approached him! Maybe he's cheated before? He certainly seemed to hop in the sack ... (read in full...)

I'im not sure where my clitoris is? Help!

Q.   Hi, Please help me....im not sure where my clitoris is? my boyfriend tries to pleasure me but i get bored someone please help me? send links pictures anything please im quite desperate! x...

A.   14 April 2007: Hi Anon, herewith a link that explains it all. Take care http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris... (read in full...)

I've lined up two dates, Fri and Sat, I'm not a dishonest person, so what should I do if I like both of them!!!

Q.   Hi I've met two lovely ladies on a dating site at the same time and have a date with both one friday the other saturday, the problem is i'm very honest and don't like cheating as that is what my wife did to me. What do I do if I like both and they ...

A.   13 April 2007: Posionkiss has it right on the button. Dating is getting to know someone and not a commitment. I'm going through the process at the moment as I met a bunch of ladies at a Speed dating session. Just be honest and tell them you’re dating other girls ... (read in full...)

Five years with this married man and he promises to leave his wife! But he hasn't yet-should I just bail?

Q.   I have been seeing a married man for 5 and a half years, he has promised from the beginning to leave his wife but has not delivered. I have made this man my entire life and don't know how to contemplate a life with him not in it. I know everybod...

A.   12 April 2007: Hi. Well I guess I'm not going to lecture you on the fact that having an affair is wrong. All I can do is share my experience which is quite similar. I was in an unhappy relationship, no kids, and had an affair for 5 years. My mistress had asked me ... (read in full...)

My GF has just come back from a 5 week holiday, she seems to have changed, or am I being paranoid ?

Q.   My girlfriend of one year has just come back from a five week long holiday on the other side of the world. She's changed. She seems to have something on her mind and she's not affectionate with me. Am I being paranoid or has something happened? ...

A.   10 April 2007: Hi Anon. Well if she' not acting the same as usual then there seems to be some issue that's bothering her. It could be that she met and felt an attraction for another guy whilst away and is questioning your relationship. Or it could be something ... (read in full...)

Question for the men: Would you consider a fulfilling sex life to be more of a priority over other aspects in a realtionship ?

Q.   Question for the lads..Would you consider a fulfilling sex life with your partner as a top priority in your relationship or would other issues be more important to you ie companionship,compatibility etc? Comments appreciated....

A.   9 April 2007: Hi Anon. I guess it depends on the guy. For me sex is important. I was in a very “comfortable” relationship for many years, we shared everything but the sex in the last 7 years was non existent which made me feel unfulfilled and I could see she was ... (read in full...)

He fell asleep when I was performing oral sex! This bugs me-how do I handle this?

Q.   Have you ever been with a man that fell asleep with you when you were performing oral sex? He was erect, all was well, had showed much enjoyment then all of a sudden I heard him lightly snoring. I did not know what to do, it had never happened to ...

A.   9 April 2007: Have a laugh honey, he was probably just tired and as you say he had a few drinks, they probably helped him chill so much he just snoozed with pleasure:) Sometimes guys are not that sensitive to BJ's and sometime girls don't have the technique ... (read in full...)

I need some tips on how to lose some weight.

Q.   hey, i would like some tips on losing weight. I'm not fat or anything, just a bit chubbier than what i'd like to be. So recently i've started going on daily walks and i eat healthier which so far has enabled me to lose about 3kg but i'm at point ...

A.   8 April 2007: Hi Anon. Good for you, staying in shape is really important for your health. I find that sometimes we confuse thirst with hunger and we tend to have a little snack every time we feel peckish when what we should be doing is drinking a glass of good ... (read in full...)

Everything started out great, it was dark, we were kissing, we took off our clothes, and right before game time...I lost my bat!!!!

Q.   I recently just tried to have sex for the first time ever with my girlfriend. Everything started out great, it was dark, we were kissing, we took off our clothes, and right before game time...I lost my bat! The whole time I was just asking "Why ...

A.   8 April 2007: Hi Rey, Don't worry buddy, this happens. It seems Soulsista knows guys quite well and has given you good advice. When we guys think about it too much and worry about our performance we actually freak ourselves out a bit and the nerves make you loose ... (read in full...)

We split up but he wants to stay in touch with me, now he has a new girlfriend, what must she be thinking?

Q.   Hi My ex and I split up last year and have been in contact on and off. We have decided to stay friends, although there had been talk about maybe trying again in the future if we were single when we had sorted personal stuff out. We had also disc...

A.   8 April 2007: Personally I think it's very difficult to remain good friends when couples split, especially for the person who was "dumped" and in the short term after the break up. Usually the person who does the dumping says; "lets be friends" so as to try and ... (read in full...)

I started to have sex a month ago, now I've had 6 guys and feel I just can't say no!!!!

Q.   I had never had sex until about a month ago. now I have already had sex with six guys and it's almost like I can't say no anymore .. and I cant stop . What do I do ?...

A.   8 April 2007: Hi Anon. Firstly I would like to say I hope you've been having protected sex as your physical health depends on it! Secondly... sex with 6 guys in your first month does sound a little over indulgent for someone your age and I think you should be ... (read in full...)

Shes pretty high maintenance, Am I a fool for putting up with this ?

Q.   My situ : seperated - 2 children : 7 and 12 New girlfriend - always acusing me of looking at other women when i dont. always asks questions wot other women like when im at work. always thinks i am bedding the ex when i access children once a...

A.   5 April 2007: Hi mate. Sorry to say this but it sounds like she's self centred, insecure and suffering from low self esteem. Her treating you like this is obviously not going to make you happy so you should have a good chat to her about it. Tell her what your ... (read in full...)

Im considering becoming a prostitute as I fear its the only way out of my debt!!

Q.   I'm so desperate for money right now, I owe so much out, I've been having thoughts that my only way out is prostitution. I really don't want to do this, is there any way round this? I need money asap and really have no other choice. Is it dangerous ...

A.   3 April 2007: Hi anon. Life does not revolve around money. We can all make mistakes managing it and get into debt but trying to get out of debt by getting into prostitution is not a solution. The guilt and stigma will be with you for rest of your life. Declare ... (read in full...)

I need a counsellor really, but not sure where to get one, anyone on here able to help me out!?

Q.   My life is a real mess at the moment, have some serious relationship problems that I can't really go into at length in just one question. Could really do with some one to one counselling/advice. I know there are some professional counsellors that ...

A.   3 April 2007: Hi Susie, you contact me through the dearcupid mail system if you don't want to post your question. I'll try to help. Take care.... (read in full...)

Married 9 months, shes seeing someone else! I said I can look past it if she cuts all ties! But shes carrying on! Am I too demanding!?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 9 months. In recent weeks, she has been going out late with her friends/clients to clubs, or for coffee. Few weeks ago, we had a major fight about her coming back at 7am in the morning and that left her angry with ...

A.   3 April 2007: Both Wendyg & Eddie are right. She is not playing the game by the rules. This is her problem and not yours. You must be one incredibly patient guy to stand for this! She's taken you right to the edge of your relationship and still wants you to ... (read in full...)

I've just discovered hes been looking at incest porn on the pc, I only gave birth 4 months ago, is this my fault!!?

Q.   ive recently had a baby (4 months ago to be exact) after she was born, my partner kept saying to me he needed space, so i kept taking her on walks, when i would get home the blinds would be shut(which confused me as it was the middle of the day) one ...

A.   3 April 2007: This seems to be quite a serious issue but it's his issue and not yours. It's not your fault so don't blame yourself but do take care in talking to him about it. He needs to address this issue with a professional sooner rather than later. But I ... (read in full...)

I feel like she is tossing our love aside for her selfish need to experience freedom. Any thoughts?

Q.   I dated this girl for nearly 2 years, we're both about the same age. After we both turned 21 she let it out that she just turned 21 and wanted to experience that freedom that goes with it. On top of that, she also wanted it because she is planning ...

A.   1 April 2007: Be strong, let her go. You can't make her be with you and she wants to "explore" so just accept it. If you cling on and seem needy then you'll make her pull away forever. You're both still young and have lots of time ahead to get back together if ... (read in full...)

Shes got cold feet, she said she loves me and wants me but not right now!!

Q.   I've been having girl troubles for about the past month and she's playing the whole "I love you and I want to be with you... someday... just not now." act. We have been together for about 1 year and lived together for about 3 months. Everythi...

A.   30 March 2007: Hi Anon. This is a tough time I understand, been in a similar situation myself and because I handled it wrong I lost the lady. What I recommend you do is send her some flowers and a nice love letter, saying exactly how much and why you love her and ... (read in full...)

She has lack of interest in being intimate as she feels unattractive, this causes rows and now our relationship is in danger!!

Q.   As of recently my girlfriend and i have had a problem with being intimate (lack of sex , no prolonged kissing etc..) , when we talk about it , she says its the fact that she has no sexual desire whatsoever , because she says she doesnt feel sexy ...

A.   27 March 2007: Hi. You're right if you continue this way your relationship will be in danger. Intimacy and sex are a very important part of any couple and the lack of it will lead to a platonic relationship with two unfulfilled, unhappy people! If you love her and ... (read in full...)

How long should I expect the break to last while she gets her business sorted out!?

Q.   Hi, I posted a few weeks ago about my girlfriend who wants a break to concentrate on her business because its failing. She said she loved me and it wasn't a permanent break and that she'd contact me, she just needed to sort her business. It'...

A.   27 March 2007: Hi. Breaks in a relationship are a real hard time for one or both parties concerned, I know how you feel. We want to contact the person we love and can't understand why they don't want to be with us! But putting pressure on her will certainly seem ... (read in full...)

Why cant I have 2 wives if both women love me!?

Q.   why i cant have 2 wifes if both woman loves me and i love them , and who made that law for us and what is the sense of it? as we all know that woman get another kind of feelings and therefor man and woman fall in love and make a new life and they ...

A.   27 March 2007: In western Christian society it's become one of the values that have been put into law but this does not mean that it's right or wrong just what is normally accepted. If the women agree then you can choose to be with as many as you want but you just ... (read in full...)

She broke up with me! I'm hurt so should I leave her alone or contact her?

Q.   should i try to contact her? hi there, was seeing this girl for about 7 months. we were getting on well and i thought happy. we went away for a long-haul holiday and we had loads of fun and romance. 2 days after our return, she txt me to say sh...

A.   26 March 2007: Hi. I think you should take a step back and let her come to you. By all means speak with her if she calls but keep it brief and very cool, tell her you're on your way out with friends etc. Don't initiate any contact. Let her start missing you, raise ... (read in full...)

All of a sudden I am attracted to these other men when all I want is a family with my husband! Help!

Q.   I am 28, married two years to a wonderful man that I've been with for nearly 12 years. However, for the last 10 months I've found myself easily attracted to other men. I've never had this before, no-one has ever managed to attract my attention. But ...

A.   23 March 2007: This is going to sound pretty basic but I believe it. Love is a verb, it's something we do! So if your relationship with your husband is worth saving and what you really want then simply LOVE him. Forget these other guys. Tell him, show him and just ... (read in full...)

Worried about my "ladies' bits"... size of my clitoris, pain I get when fingered, STDs, etc!

Q.   I read somewhere that a girls clitoris is about the size of a pea, right up to the size of a small finger. Well, mine is looking more like a pin head. I'm worried because when my boyfriend fingers me and tries to stimulate my clit, I'm not ge...

A.   23 March 2007: Clitoris sizes vary from woman to woman but it needs to be correctly stimulated to come out of the clitoral hood. I suggest you visit your gynecologist and have him check you out and give you some reassurance. I’m sure everything is and will be ok ... (read in full...)

She says she loves me, just that she wants space... What does it mean?!

Q.   I've been in a relationship for almost a year now and everything was going really great. We don't have major differences. We are on the same page on a lot of issues of life and friends. She did ask for space almost a month ago. I've been reading a ...

A.   23 March 2007: Hi. Lots of couples get back together after having a time-out. The time can vary from a day to a few years, depends on the relationship! It's how you handle the whole thing that's important. People sometimes need to step out of the relationship to ... (read in full...)

My affair left me an emotional wreck! Should I go back to my husband?

Q.   im in trouble!! and need advice..i met this guy at work and i felt really close to him and admire him when he told me how he treat his wife and on the other hand he admire me because i am a very good wife/mother and had a very succesesful career, ...

A.   21 March 2007: You were obviously not happy with your husband in the first place so why go back to him? I suggest you take some time to think what you really want in a relationship and learn to love yourself and become emotionally independent. Having affairs is ... (read in full...)

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