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*ELLULAH agony aunt

*ELLULAH

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Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.

I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway.

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Running out of ideas of how to help my overweight brother before he ends up in hospital.

Q.   Hi,i really need some help here urgently. My younger brother who is 21 is overweight-he weighs just over 18 stone and is about 5ft 10. He is quite shy, never had a girlfriend and doesn’t have many friends he just watches TV and plays on his play...

A.   5 January 2009: Hi Babe, Sounds like he might have other problems besides his weight. He sounds like he has very low self estem, and is comfort eating because of this. Try to put yourself in his shoes, its like going around in a circle. He doesnt want to be fat,... (read in full...)

Is my mum cheating? And my mum's boyfriend is a transvestite! What should I do?

Q.   My mum has a boyfriend, who she has been with for about 4 years now. But, for about a year I have noticed that she has been on dating sites. Sometimes I'd go on the computer and see that she has the website up, and the chats so I can see what she's ...

A.   5 January 2009: Quite honestly babe, I think you should keep your nose out of it all. It sounds like a right old mix up, and should be on Jerry Springer. Unless they are making you feel uncomfortable, then really theres not a lot you could do anyway. I will say ... (read in full...)

Do I let the ex win?

Q.   the problem i have is my boyfreinds ex!! he has a little girl with her and has her on a weekend but i am never allowed when he goes to pick her up or drop her off he says he doesnt want anything to kick off otherwise she will stop him seeing the ...

A.   5 January 2009: Honey, You sound like you dont trust him, (and I totally understand that), but you will drive him away if you dont stop trying to force yourself into situations, that your partner is obviously trying to avoid. I know its hard on you, but just let... (read in full...)

If you swallow sperm, can you get pregnant?

Q.   Hi, my question is really embarrassing and I know a lot of people will feel awkward answering it... but I have always wandered but I am to embarrassed to ask any one else... Ok so I'll cut to the chase... basically if cum (sperm) gets on or in any o...

A.   23 December 2008: I dont think you can get pregnant, but it does make all your teeth drop out. Which can be a bit upsetting.... (read in full...)

Will his puppy lose its sight?

Q.   Hi you lot, Need some advice really. My son has a lovely new little puppy. He let his mate look after it for him while he was at work, and the friend took the puppy round to his mate who has 3 cats. To cut a long story short, the puppy got attack...

A.   22 December 2008: Thanks everyone for your advice. I looked after little Reggie on saturday and we went to the park. He is very nervous now, but by the time he left the park he had perked right up and was bounding about. He is such a sweet natured little thing and ... (read in full...)

Why is my private area darker than the rest of my skin?

Q.   Hello, My virginia is darker then the rest of my skin... I have a sandy golden tan... but I noticed that my private area is more darker... why is this? Do guys find this attractive? ...

A.   19 December 2008: I had a boyfriend once with really lovely ginger hair. His pubes looked like Golden Virginia, but I never wanted to smoke them.... (read in full...)

How do I'm avoid ending up an old maid?

Q.   would a very skinny guy fancy a fat girl?when i am round a very skinny he doesn,t want to seen with or talking or even acknowledge me all because i am heavy and short with a chubby face.i am nice person and i good taste in jewellry,love ...

A.   17 December 2008: Ohh Sweetheart!! That did make me laugh. You put all the points about yourself that YOU feel are negative, then added "I have great taste in Jewellry". I think from that comment that you forgot to say that you had a great sence of humour as well... (read in full...)

I found porn on his PC, young girls about 14 years old and it's freaking me out.

Q.   I should first mention that I have recently been pretty down, dealing with stress, sadness, and so forth. It is taking it's toll and making me suspicious and irritable. My boyfriend and I are in our twenties, and we have been dating for 3 years. On ...

A.   16 December 2008: Hi, Ok we cannot really start pointing the finger here without some facts. For a start, I would just like to say that my partners daughter has modelled for a few magazines (fashion) but in Bikini's and other small items of clothing. It was a magazi... (read in full...)

Lumpy and sticky juice after masturbating, an alert?

Q.   urm this is abit embarresing really but recently when i masturbated my juice wasnt really juice was kind of lumpy and sticky and there wansnt much is this cus i have been masturbating more lately or what?...

A.   15 December 2008: Does it look kind of like wall-paper paste??? I have seen this before, they used it to stick a man to a board and then hung him over crocodiles.... (read in full...)

How can I admit to lying about such an awfull thing.??

Q.   So when my b/f and I started dating he really wanted sex. I didnt, so I told him I was raped and it was still so clear i didnt want sex so he backed off. we have gotten really close over the last 3 years. but how do i tell him i lied to him is it ...

A.   12 December 2008: Honey! It was a complete lie, so dont try to fool yourself. The thing is that you must understand how serious it is to say something like that. I'm affraid that the world can be a very nasty place for some, and to actually get raped is (in my ... (read in full...)

When is it safe??

Q.   Hi Recently got myself tested for HSV1 and 2 and it came back negative for both. My partner of several months however has the virus and gets outbreaks from time to time. She told me about it about 2 months into the relationship. I thought it was s...

A.   10 December 2008: Hi, I think anyone in your position would feel the same way. I recently had some tests done and it scared the crap out of me until I knew everything was ok. Your girlfriend is making light of it because, she doesnt want you to treat her any diff... (read in full...)

How can I admit to lying about such an awfull thing.??

Q.   So when my b/f and I started dating he really wanted sex. I didnt, so I told him I was raped and it was still so clear i didnt want sex so he backed off. we have gotten really close over the last 3 years. but how do i tell him i lied to him is it ...

A.   10 December 2008: Why would you lie about such a terrible thing?. If you didnt want sex, you only had to be honest with him. I dont know what he would think about you lying over something that serious, but if I were you I would learn my lesson and never do that ... (read in full...)

We broke up and he still spends time with me. Why?

Q.   I don't know what to do and I'm really confused about the situation - maybe someone can help cause I can't see the wood through the trees for this. Me and my boyfriend split up about 3-4 weeks ago and he said that he didnt feel anythng for me a...

A.   10 December 2008: Hi, Sometimes even when you know you should let go, you cant. We dont know what he is thinking, it could be that he still has feelings, or it could also be him just wanting to stay mates. What I would say is that I dont think its very healthy for ... (read in full...)

He makes my blood boil! I'm hitting my boyfriend!

Q.   I have been in a relationship for four years. The first two were great but the last two haven't gone well. My boyfriend is immature and wants to spend all his time with his friends and playing video games. Which starts a lot of fights since we live ...

A.   10 December 2008: Hi, a lot of men can get you like that cant they?. Well obviously you know that you are wrong to hit him, but I can understand that its out of frustration. My best friend went to anger management classes, for exactlly the same reasons as you. One... (read in full...)

Can she get in trouble for having an affair with a married man?

Q.   I have a question. What are my options when I have proof that my husband is having an affair and she is living with him and he is in the military? What can I do? Can she get in trouble for having an affair with a married man?...

A.   8 December 2008: His threats are just that honey "Threats" He cannot take the children away from you just because you dont drive or work. He will have to (by law) coninue to support his children. Unless you are an un-fit mother, its very unlikely that he would get ... (read in full...)

Can she get in trouble for having an affair with a married man?

Q.   I have a question. What are my options when I have proof that my husband is having an affair and she is living with him and he is in the military? What can I do? Can she get in trouble for having an affair with a married man?...

A.   5 December 2008: Leave the Bugger, he is not worth your love. If they get into trouble then thats tough luck on both of them isnt it???... (read in full...)

My boyfriend intended to meet a 50-year-old for man for sex!? He swears it was only a fantasy but...?

Q.   Ok, so i've been dealing with a lot lately. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months or so, and its been rocky at times and great at others... I felt as though he was hiding something so a few days ago I logged onto his e-mail account for ...

A.   5 December 2008: Honey! ask yourself, would you have done this to him? I would say the answer is NO. If you hadnt found out, I think he would have gone through with it. The only reason he wants you to go back is to cover his arse, and to stop you saying anything to ... (read in full...)

He told me he felt trapped and wanted to be able to have me and have sex with other girls!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year. We moved in together earlier this year we was happy, but couldnt keep the place as we couldnt afford it. He is a bit older than me, 23. Then i got my own place and he wouldnt move in, then ...

A.   5 December 2008: Honey!!! You are setting yourself up as a door-mat. Why on earth would you agree to letting him sleep around and still stay with the guy. If you want anyone to respect you sweetie, you have to respect yourself. I know its hard but if you dont do ... (read in full...)

My partner's child stays with us at weekends which is very stressful for me!

Q.   I have been with my partner for 2 and half years, we live together with my 12 year old daughter. He has a 6 year old son from previous relationship who stays with us at weekends. Lately each weekend is becoming stressful and my partner is trying to ...

A.   5 December 2008: Hi, Have you ever thought that the reason he behaves so bad, is because he knows he is not welcome by you. Children pick up on negative feelings very easy. He is 6 years old for goodness sake, dont you think you should make more effort towards him.... (read in full...)

We had sex for the first time today, is it likely that I would get pregnant?

Q.   Hi people, please help me asap, I'm really worried and don't know what to do. Me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time today and when we had finished and he pulled back the condom fell off and was left inside of me. This was the third time he ...

A.   3 December 2008: Yes! Boredatwork is right, you could get pregnant. Please get the morning after pill ASAP. And dont take this chance again. XXX Dont worry you will be ok.... (read in full...)

His ex says my boyfriend is obsessed about sex!

Q.   About two weeks ago I started dating a really nice guy. Him and his girlfriend had broken up the day before (bad idea I know). He has become very distant lately and whenever we're together his hands wonder directly to a certain part of my body....

A.   3 December 2008: She could be right, or she could just be jealous of your relationship. Remember we are not all the same are we, so we react differently to different relationships. My advise would be to just ignore her, eventually she will move on. As for him ... (read in full...)

How bad is what I did, what can I do to regain my self-respect...?

Q.   We work in the same building, I won't talk about the break up too much, let's just say it was really prolonged and really really nasty, both of us going back and forth. She finally ended it for good about 2 months ago in a really nasty way - I ...

A.   3 December 2008: Honey! you need to calm down. Right! we dont know why you broke up, you give no reason, and there are always 2 sides. In your post you do come over as a little bit of a nutter, which I'm sure your not normally. Love can make you do awfull thin... (read in full...)

Am I doomed to be lonely or will I find my Mr. Right?

Q.   Why am i still single at 25 i a m a 25 year old college graduate. i have dated several guys for only short period of time not because i find them either below my standards in terms of education, or their appearances dont quite appeal to me. I ...

A.   3 December 2008: Your 25 for goodness sake not 45, then I would say you have something to worry about. Girls are leaving it later to get married and have children, so your not unusual at all. Stop trying so hard and enjoy your freedom while it last's. Then before ... (read in full...)

Why didn't he respond to my text?? Talk about rude!

Q.   Please please please could someone offer me an explanation for this? I am particularly interested in hearing a male perspective. Please. Why would a 40 year old man that I have just met, tell his best friend (also a good friend of mine) that he re...

A.   3 December 2008: Do you think he might have lost his phone? Could you get your mutual friend to find out why he did this??? Seems strange but that's men for you babes XXX... (read in full...)

What should I do with my married doctor who I'm in love with?

Q.   Hi I am an unmarried girl. 3 years back i went to a doctor. He became a good friend of mine. I never had any intention to get physical with him as he was married. He asked me to kiss once, i could not stop. One day after kissing, he touched my whole ...

A.   3 December 2008: Honey stay well away from this man. He is totally Unprofessional, and should be struck off. You do not love him, you are attracted to him because you know its dangerous and wrong.... (read in full...)

If she has low sex drive, then why does she masturbate so much?

Q.   Hi I am a 30 y/o good looking physically fit male, I have been married to my wife for 3 months but have been together for 11 years, I have a normal sex drive which is about 2-3 times a week. My partner is 27 and very attractive she has a few...

A.   3 December 2008: I totally understand how you feel, because my partner has a really low sex drive as well (he is male). So it goes to show that it can work both ways. I have tried asking him whats wrong and he says "nothing" I have also asked if he loves me, he ... (read in full...)

Got this from my ex today. What does it mean?

Q.   Got this from my ex today. What does it mean? "I think I know what my tension is with you sometimes like when we talk on IM. I think it’s because we go so much longer now without quality time that I forget what you’re like when you are just her...

A.   3 December 2008: Oh! silly me. It did sound like it would be a man to say that though. Well I hope you sorted things out, maybe you do need to think a bit about spending more quility time with her as she say's. Good luck in the future, and again sorry I got the ... (read in full...)

He say's I'm bad for him, what should I do?

Q.   Dave* and I have been friends for around 5 years, he's always claimed to have a 'thing' for me but due to his popularity with other women I've never believed him. We lost touch for around a year and when we began talking again in March there wa...

A.   2 December 2008: Hi, I really feel for you, but rather than you being bad for him, I feel its the other way round. You are putting his emotional needs above your own, and thats never a good thing. I have no doubt that you love him, but if I were you I would let him ... (read in full...)

How can I get her to stop taking diet pills which I view as unhealthy?

Q.   My girlfriend keeps asking me to buy her diet pills (call me fashion old but they don't to sound healthy to me) , I got mad and usually storm out of the room. She's 18 about 5'8 and weights 100. I think she's feeling pressured from her friends most ...

A.   2 December 2008: Try to explain that they are not the way to lose weight. Most people find that when they take them, the weight falls off quickly, but can go back on even quicker and she will find that she will put more on. The best way to lose weight is to eat heal... (read in full...)

Can we fall in love more than twice?

Q.   Can we fall in love more than twice? I had a first love at 18 that took me years to get over. Then at 22 even though I didn't think it could happen I fell madly in love again. But he broke my heart recently. Now, I'm 24. I had said to my ...

A.   2 December 2008: I can assure you that you can definatly fall in love more than once, or twice. Some will have a lasting effect on you more than others. I have never really got over my first real love and that was 20 years ago, but most of the time I dont think ... (read in full...)

Got this from my ex today. What does it mean?

Q.   Got this from my ex today. What does it mean? "I think I know what my tension is with you sometimes like when we talk on IM. I think it’s because we go so much longer now without quality time that I forget what you’re like when you are just her...

A.   2 December 2008: I think I would be tempted to send back "Dont bother trying to understand me", if its that much effort. And as you are an ex you dont have to worry about my expression or if its sincere. I came to this realization after recieving your text. I feel... (read in full...)

Relieving the symptoms of Cystitis. Help please!!

Q.   Arrgggg I have Cystitis. I'm starting work in less than 3 hours and all I keep doing is running to the loo! I cant do that in my job. What am I gonna do????? This could get embarrassing. Ive bought some stuff in the chemsist yesterday, does it ...

A.   2 December 2008: Dont know if this will help! I used to suffer terrible from cystitis and thrush, cranberry juice just used to make it worse (aparantly in some people it can make it worse). I was told by my doctor to always drink plenty of plain water, and drin... (read in full...)

Do I wait 6 months to get back with ex?

Q.   My ex broke up with me 6 months ago, won't go into detail, but it wasn’t because he didn’t love me, but because he thought at the time we wanted different things. He has just contact me and apologised for being stubborn and said he feels really bad ...

A.   1 December 2008: I think he is being honest with you, which is comendable for a start. Honey he is taking a chance by going away and leaving you, if he loves you that much. So I would take his advice and live your life while he is away. Go out with other guys if y... (read in full...)

We're just sex buddies...even though we broke up 2 months ago! Any advice?

Q.   Hiya everyone, i now this is sounding stupid and desperate but, me and my ex broke 2 months ago for the past month we've been having sex as in f**k buddies, the thing is we both we not getting any and he hardly has any money and so he puts it ...

A.   27 November 2008: Sorry darling I dont understand this post at all. Are you saying that you are paying your ex just for sex or do I have that wrong??... (read in full...)

I keep hearing my parents having sex and it puts me off! What to do?

Q.   I need some advice, I keep hearing my parents having sex and it's driving me mad, I know it's natural and all that but it is freaking me out. It's actually putting me of sex. And why do they always go to the toilet once they have finished???...

A.   27 November 2008: I am behind Uncle Phil, I would have thought the post fake as well. Notice posters that start using name calling are always ANON...funny that eh! Now Uncle Phil... you behave, you bad,bad, boy. And ANON get a life and a sence of humour... (read in full...)

Does having sex in a car mean the couple is desperate for sex?

Q.   Is having oral sex/having sex/making out in a car seems that the couple is desperate for sex?? how many times per week (having sex) is healthy for a relationship?...

A.   26 November 2008: Be carefull where you have sex in a car, and keep your windows shut and doors locked. Not far from me is where kinky people go and join in with each other (IN CARS). ... (read in full...)

Can someone please help me to untangle my love life?

Q.   Ahhhh I suck at relationships! It's pissing me off! I'm 19 and I love my ex boyfriend more than anything, and he's in love with me. But he moved away a while back, so we're not together. I don't fancy a long-distance relationship. So that's Guy #1. ...

A.   24 November 2008: How about finishing with 2&3 and then maybe meeting hot no 4. Because you are not going to get a very good name by sleeping with all the guys in the same circle of friends are you??... (read in full...)

I keep having vampiric sexual fantasies.. whats going on?

Q.   My problem is I've discovered some strange things about myself.I think I'm bisexual and I'm completely in love with my best friend (I'm female and I'm 16), I think about her all day and all night, recently I explained to her my feelings. She told me ...

A.   24 November 2008: Personally I think you should get out more. Your letting your head run away a bit, and its not really healthy.... (read in full...)

I want to leave my husband but have nowhere to go. I'm falling deeper into depression and is gaining more and more weight, how can I deal with this all?

Q.   My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years now (married for almost 13) and have 3 beautiful children (ages 12, 4 and 2). My problem is that I'm not sure that I'm in love with him anymore. When we were dating and when we lived together ...

A.   21 November 2008: Hi, I dont mean to hurt you, but I think you are being selfish. You are ready to eat yourself to death, with no thought as to what your children may be feeling. Your husband may be a thoughtless jerk, and have many faults, but he is right that you ... (read in full...)

How can I answer them when they say horrible comments about my girlfriend?

Q.   Hey all! Me again, so me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 years. Everything's been going great and whatnot but I recently started high school, the thing is, people.... are just....assholes. Since the first time I've gotten with my ...

A.   20 November 2008: Oh my god! I so wish that there were more guys around like you. Your girlfriend is such a lucky girl, to have such a wonderfull and kind B/F. Ignore them honey, like the others have said, they are just jealous idiots and not worth your atte... (read in full...)

What is with men and older women?

Q.   Guys:- Are men really attracted to older woman? (For example women in their 30s or 40s?) Why do some men date older women - is it because they get bored with younger girls or does age really not matter? Also what age gap between younger men and...

A.   19 November 2008: Its because we are hot! sister.. Why wouldnt they want us he!he.... (read in full...)

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