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*ELLULAH agony aunt

*ELLULAH

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ELLULAH's profile:

Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.

I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway.

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It's tempting to leave home right now. I can (just about) wait. Have I got it all wrong?

Q.   Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl. I live with my parents in a nice house in a small town in England. We have a cat and a goldfish pond. And to be totally honest, I'm gonna go insane if I stay here too much longer. Don't get me wrong - I apprecia...

A.   6 April 2009: Because sweetie! Most people pay their way in life, by paying rent, mortgages, council tax and all the other stuff that squaters get away with. Just imagine if you worked hard to buy a house, and while you are away a load of squaters moved in... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   6 April 2009: Glad to hear that, I'm really pleased for you honey. Take care and enjoy your new life...you certainly deserve it. XXXX... (read in full...)

Not sure what to think

Q.   I started seeing a guy about 5 months ago. He is 49 and I am 42. After about 4 months of dating, we decided to move in together. We really seem to communicate and get along very well. We have alot of fun together.Our sex life is very good. The ot...

A.   25 February 2009: Hi there, Although I can see your point, I do feel that you are getting this way out of proportion. Ok so most of us go through life knowing that we only like the oposite sex, but thats not always the case (as we all know). As you grow up and go t... (read in full...)

How can I stop getting so angry at him when I'm out drinking with friends?

Q.   I have a problem that's really starting to get to me. I'm 19 years old and been with my boyfriend (22) for 7 months now. We have a great relationship, very caring, loving, trusting etc, however our only problem is when I go out drinking... If I'm...

A.   18 February 2009: This is a common problem, and I would bet that most arguements start when people get drunk (especially when your young). Well I say that, but actually when your drunk it doesnt really matter how old you are, you can still act like an idiot. I woul... (read in full...)

I snogged him and am now worried in case I have HIV!

Q.   I am a virgin and worry and stress about things in general, also Stds, I recently met a guy and snogged him loads, I never had sex or anything but now I'm worried I've got HIV cause he isn't a virgin. ...

A.   18 February 2009: I can understand your fears, but if Aids were as easy to catch as you think, most of us would have it. So dont worry, you are safe. But if you do start to have sex, then make sure that you use precutions (condom's) until you know that you are both... (read in full...)

I've just had sex with my TEACHER!

Q.   I've had sex with my teacher last week and I don't know what to do. I can't look him in the eyes any more, I feel ashamed and bad. Can somebody give me an advice what to do?...

A.   16 February 2009: You should not feel ashamed or guilty. Your Teacher should have known better. Did you do this willingly? or was it forced upon you? There is a great deal of difference, because if you were willing although he would probably still get struck o... (read in full...)

Online dating!

Q.   Has anyone had any good outcomes from online dating? I started online dating in September 2008 and met someone in November, it didn't work out and shes put me off for life :(. She was very insecure and has major ex boyfriend issues, I didn't find ...

A.   16 February 2009: Hi, One of my dearest friends ended his marriage, it was drawn out and turned very nasty. He then met a local girl that seemed to be OK but it didnt work out for them. Then he decided to go on-line dating. We all laughed and gave him a hard tim... (read in full...)

My latest boyfriend refuses to lick me clean after sex!

Q.   My latest boyfriend refuses to lick me clean after sex, is it too much to ask? It's his mess after all? All my previous boyfriend's were happy to do it....

A.   16 February 2009: Hey! Maybe you could get together with the guy who lets his dog lick his penis?? The dog I mean not the guy!! LOL ... (read in full...)

My room mate also happens to be my ex husband and my boyfriend finds that difficult...

Q.   I have an interesting situation in my life, and not sure how to help my boyfriend understand it. I have a roommate - who also happens to be my ex hubby. I AM divorced from him. We have been the best of friends since we were 16 (both in our mid to ...

A.   16 February 2009: Oh well! in that case, I believe that you have done everything you can to stop your B/F feeling that way. So I guess its up to him to trust you. I can see what your saying about the rent, perhaps your B/F has been in a position before and been let ... (read in full...)

My latest boyfriend refuses to lick me clean after sex!

Q.   My latest boyfriend refuses to lick me clean after sex, is it too much to ask? It's his mess after all? All my previous boyfriend's were happy to do it....

A.   16 February 2009: Ergh! thats gross. I wouldnt do it either if it were expected of me. Surely its up to him if he likes it or not??? ... (read in full...)

My room mate also happens to be my ex husband and my boyfriend finds that difficult...

Q.   I have an interesting situation in my life, and not sure how to help my boyfriend understand it. I have a roommate - who also happens to be my ex hubby. I AM divorced from him. We have been the best of friends since we were 16 (both in our mid to ...

A.   16 February 2009: Mmmm, of course you would trust him. But then its not happening to you is it? I mean that in a light hearted way, not nasty. But you can see your B/F point, it must be awfully hard to live with. When your husband is home could he not stay with his ... (read in full...)

I'm having sexual thoughts about my mate's MOM!

Q.   Hi there, I don't know how to say this but I have sexual thoughts about my friend's fat mum. Should I try something with her or what or is that wrong??...

A.   16 February 2009: Oh for goodness sake!! grow up of course you shouldnt. You will hurt her and most certainly hurt your mate if he finds out. I would also look at why you fancy her, you are not exactly complementry to her are you???... (read in full...)

I'm scared that I'll lose my daughter if I tell her about me and her ex!

Q.   My daughter broke up with her fiance about eight months ago, it was just a case of them drifting apart which happens often in relationships. My daughter's ex is very attractive and clever and I was sad to see him go as he acted like a true gentleman ...

A.   16 February 2009: Annon, A bit harsh I would say, guess thats why we dont know who you are. Foolish this lady might well be, but I dont think your advice was very helpful in making such a hard decission. Of course she should have thought of her daughter, but when... (read in full...)

My best friend is seeing my ex, am I right to be upset?

Q.   Why do i feel like this? A couple of weeks ago i found out my best friend is seeing an ex of mine. I was so angry, mainly because i feel she should of spoke to me first and asked if im ok with it. I would have if it was me and one of her ex's! But ...

A.   13 February 2009: Hi there, This happened to me not long ago. I was totally shocked to find out one of my very close mates was seeing my ex of 11 years. In fact I even told them both and made myself look really stupid. I just couldnt stand the thought that it might... (read in full...)

I'm scared that I'll lose my daughter if I tell her about me and her ex!

Q.   My daughter broke up with her fiance about eight months ago, it was just a case of them drifting apart which happens often in relationships. My daughter's ex is very attractive and clever and I was sad to see him go as he acted like a true gentleman ...

A.   13 February 2009: Oh dear!! You dont need me to tell you that this was a line you should not have crossed. If my Mum told me she was seeing my ex I would be totally grossed out and embarassed by her. But thats all a bit to late because you have fallen for him. I d... (read in full...)

Friday the 13th message to ex?

Q.   Hi All Ok tomorrow is Friday the 13th, I want to know...should I send my ex the following SMS: Happy Friday the 13th...Wishing you all the misfortunes in the world!! Love -(my name)...

A.   13 February 2009: I dont think he is worth wasting time on in that case, just looks like your bothered about him still.... (read in full...)

The pain of her past never goes away

Q.   Ok, well this is going to go into detail. So be warned. Im currently a senior in high school. My girlfriend who I am in love with. (I dont know how this site really works, but please dont judge me for saying I love her, or that Im too young. For r...

A.   12 February 2009: We have many guys that come on here and ask a simular question. Fact is you cannot change what has happened, no matter how misserable you make yourself feel. All you will do if you keep asking questions, is put a massive strain on your relationship. ... (read in full...)

My ex b/f gave me genital herpes on purpose!

Q.   My ex boyfriend has given me genital herpes on purpose. we broke up for a few months. he started seeing somone else, then we got back together. after two months of being happy again a friend told me the girl he'd been with had the std and had told ...

A.   12 February 2009: I dont understand this, why would he hate you? Its not your fault that this happened. Are you sure the other girl told him before he slept with you, I'm just thinking maybe he didnt know? I have a friend that this happened to years ago, and she went... (read in full...)

I don't think she knows what she wants

Q.   I've been dating a girl for 4 months now we got drunk and went to ponderosa to eat which we do often. After we ate she asked me if I wanted to go get married I told her I would have to get to know her better that we just met and that she would ha...

A.   12 February 2009: If you really want to know what this girl thinks of you, then stop being so easy to get. Maybe if you back off from her, she will realise what she's missing. And if she doesnt come running then you know she really didnt feel the same as you do. And ... (read in full...)

Friday the 13th message to ex?

Q.   Hi All Ok tomorrow is Friday the 13th, I want to know...should I send my ex the following SMS: Happy Friday the 13th...Wishing you all the misfortunes in the world!! Love -(my name)...

A.   12 February 2009: Dont you like him then? ... (read in full...)

Why can't I make her happy?

Q.   Took her to dinner and a movie on Friday night. She stayed at my place on Saturday night. I picked her up, helped her pack her bag. We were getting a snowstorm that night and the next day. I tended on her hand and foot. Cooked for her, got her ...

A.   4 February 2009: Emily's answer made me laugh (brilliant)!! If your sick of it in just a week, whats the point of carrying on. Onwards and upwards eh! XX... (read in full...)

Why are people so hostile when they hear the truth?

Q.   why are there so many people in society and especially on here that get so hostile? everyone asks for advice, but when some of them are given answers they turn nasty and don't want to know. or you just get plain rudeness. if you don't want to h...

A.   4 February 2009: Very true! Perhaps they are hoping that someone will say exactlly what they want to hear, and then it gives them freedom to make stupid choices. I dont know its just a theory. XX... (read in full...)

Is it OK to sleep with another man's wife?

Q.   Is it o.k to sleep with another mans wife. I have a married wowan friend at work who has expressed a wish to sleep with me, she has given me details of her marriage woe's etc. I admit she is very attractive. My ex wife cheated on me with my best ...

A.   4 February 2009: What!!your a christian. Typical, religion to suit yourself. Hey! your 36-40 years of age, so you should know better really. Why ask such a daft question, it will only prevoke nasty answers. So NO its not ok, but I think you will do it anyway. Chri... (read in full...)

My world is falling apart

Q.   I'm having a really tough time in my life right now. My dog died and I thought that I was grieving but now I think that i'm depressed. I don't even smile anymore and if I do its for a short while. I also have problems at school with this guy named ...

A.   4 February 2009: Sorry to hear about your pet, life can be very un-fair sometimes. Like the others said though, I dont think you are ready for a relationship right now. Perhaps it would be better to get over your loss and have a clear head about what you want in t... (read in full...)

How do I get my mistreated brother away from my aunt?

Q.   hi, i've got this aunt and we used get along gr8 until now. she's been takin care of my baby brother since my parents died a few years ago. he's now 11 and she's started making demands for large amounts of cash. she says its to buy him stuff and pay ...

A.   4 February 2009: Hi, Doesnt sound like she has your brothers best interest's at heart does it? Is there another member of the family you could ask advice from? I'm sure you have the best intentions offering to look after him, but are you prepared to look after a ... (read in full...)

1st time sex and he had a glow on his face

Q.   I am just wondering what is that "glow" on my boyfriends face when we had sex for the first time? I'm not sure if you understand what I mean, but I'm just curious what that means, his face just seemed bright and glowing....

A.   4 February 2009: I think thats really sweet, it shows he enjoyed it with you. Ahh bless ya!, some girls wouldn't have even noticed. XXX... (read in full...)

My wife doesn't initiate sex easily

Q.   Dear Sir My wife does not initiate sex so easily. At times when i ask for it, she says you perform coitus if you wish. After my orgasm, in this case she is not co operating, after withdrawing my penis i would see white stuff all over my penis. ...

A.   4 February 2009: I know this is a silly question, but have you asked her if there is a problem?? She is not exactlly turning you down, but at the same time I wonder if there is more to this than meets the eye. Maybe she has a problem, and has gone off sex. The b... (read in full...)

My b/f keeps going out & partying with her and she's crushing on him!

Q.   Would you be uncomfortable if your bf was going out partying with a girl, every weekend, and sometimes even during the week, but not just any girl, a girl who has a major crush on him, a girl who has made moves on him? My bf is doing all of the...

A.   4 February 2009: Honey you are letting the guy treat you like dirt!!! You say he is your B/F but he is acting more like her's. Dump him!!If he had any respect for you he wouldn't do this to you. Sorry but thats my opinion... he's not worth it.... (read in full...)

How to build a relationship with no love?

Q.   I have been married for 30 years and 15 yrs ago i had a friendship which my wife found out about. for the last 15 years she has referred back to this relationship, she has become very jealous has become over weight and all we do is argue. i have ...

A.   4 February 2009: It is hard, but not impossible. It depends on how much work you are willing to put in. If you really dont want to bother, then its unfair on your wife to let her think there is hope for you both. I hope that you will at least be honest with her,... (read in full...)

Do guys like petite girls?

Q.   Do guys like petite girls? Do they think their smallness is cute and delicate? Or does it creep guys out (especially older guys) that they're small like children?...

A.   26 January 2009: No of course not, everyone is different. If you are petite, then that would atract some men. But equaly if you were a size 16 and 6 foot tall that would also atract men. It all depends on you and size has nothing to do with it. We all find our way ... (read in full...)

My b/f needs to be shocked into going on a diet. How do I do that?

Q.   Well people may seem this as mean but i really need advice on this. One of my best friends is abit over weight by that i mean she is 13 and a size 12 or 14 in adults. I never saw that as a problem she is still a great friend it never changed ...

A.   26 January 2009: 13-15 and worried about your mate being a size 12. Where to start eh! For one thing it depends on your height, and what build you are. You might be a size 6 and a very small frame, but if your mate is taller and bigger built, she's never ever goin... (read in full...)

We fight all the time and treat each other bad..what to do?

Q.   we love each other. and we both know it. but we fight ALL the time. like seriously, it's one thing after another. it's mostly cuz of him though. and i just can't take it anymore. he stresses me out so much and makes me feel like crap all the time. ...

A.   26 January 2009: Oh honey! Get out of this now. Dont let this become a future map for your life. Dont let anyone make you unhappy and try not to do the same to anyone else. You are so young and you have both your futures ahead, so dont put up with this. ... (read in full...)

Does my friend (married to female) have unusual gay tendencies?

Q.   My friend is a bodybuilder at the gym I work out at. He have a pretty wife that works out there as well. He tells me he has anal sex with her most of the time - which is not ofter (every few weeks). He always complements me I my ass (I am a male - ...

A.   26 January 2009: One thing! Why do you care if he does or not? I have to say that he is acting odd, but then it could be just a huge joke to him. It could also be that he can see that it's making you uncomfortable, and finds it funny. If you dont like the way he t... (read in full...)

He sexually harrasses me, how do I get him to stop?

Q.   there is this guy at school, he is my friend (or at least he used to be) i am not sure if i consider him a friend anymore because all he ever does is sexually harrasse me! he is always trying to get me to either sleep with him, give him oral, or ...

A.   26 January 2009: Honey! Warn him to stop or you will tell your teacher. And if he does it again then tell on him. You could be doing him a favour, because if he treats all girls like this, one day he will end up in very serious trouble. ... (read in full...)

I REALLY hate my dad!!!

Q.   Dear Readers, Hi, I'm 14 years old. I totally hate my dad, he is the reason for all my heartaches. He never hurt me physically but he always hurts me with his words. I always got depressed because of him.. I told myself... when I die, 70% is the ...

A.   20 January 2009: Honey! life is never easy growing up. Take heart in the fact that you have a wonderfull relationship with your mum. One day you will be old enough to make the choice if you see your dad or not. But until then, just try to keep the piece, even if its ... (read in full...)

He shagged like a porn star in his affair!

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 14 years, with 2 kids. He is 40 I am 37. For a long time (possibly always) our love life has not been right. He is very highly sexed, and would want to make love every day, and several times a day if ...

A.   15 January 2009: Hi, First I would like to say that your husband is a complete idiot if he believes that the relationship with this other woman wouldnt have changed after a while. Of course the sex was highly charged, it was an affair and therefor dangerous. I thi... (read in full...)

I REALLY hate my dad!!!

Q.   Dear Readers, Hi, I'm 14 years old. I totally hate my dad, he is the reason for all my heartaches. He never hurt me physically but he always hurts me with his words. I always got depressed because of him.. I told myself... when I die, 70% is the ...

A.   9 January 2009: Sorry, but yes sometimes they do have a right to put you down (anon) its called tough love, as I believe has already been said. The problem is that when we are young we dont want to hear it.... (read in full...)

I REALLY hate my dad!!!

Q.   Dear Readers, Hi, I'm 14 years old. I totally hate my dad, he is the reason for all my heartaches. He never hurt me physically but he always hurts me with his words. I always got depressed because of him.. I told myself... when I die, 70% is the ...

A.   7 January 2009: Babe, There are children out there suffering far more than you can even imagine. At your age everyone goes through this, you think that your Dad is against you because of what exactlly? you have given no reason really. I understand that its good... (read in full...)

What's wrong? I miss our sex life so much!

Q.   i have two kids,a four yr old and a 7 month old child. my boyfriend never wanted to have sex as soon as i got pregnant cause he said it isn't right for the baby and i agreed.Now (7 months after my baby is born) we still dont have sex as he says its ...

A.   6 January 2009: It doesnt mean that its forever though sweetie, maybe he just needs a little time. I'm sure that if you both still love each other eventually you will overcome the problem. XX... (read in full...)

What's wrong? I miss our sex life so much!

Q.   i have two kids,a four yr old and a 7 month old child. my boyfriend never wanted to have sex as soon as i got pregnant cause he said it isn't right for the baby and i agreed.Now (7 months after my baby is born) we still dont have sex as he says its ...

A.   5 January 2009: Honey! It is possible that he is telling the truth. Everyone goes off sex now and again, but its up to you to talk things through. Tell him how hurt you are and that you feel rejected by his actions. Do you have a reason to think there is anyt... (read in full...)

Running out of ideas of how to help my overweight brother before he ends up in hospital.

Q.   Hi,i really need some help here urgently. My younger brother who is 21 is overweight-he weighs just over 18 stone and is about 5ft 10. He is quite shy, never had a girlfriend and doesn’t have many friends he just watches TV and plays on his play...

A.   5 January 2009: Hi Babe, Sounds like he might have other problems besides his weight. He sounds like he has very low self estem, and is comfort eating because of this. Try to put yourself in his shoes, its like going around in a circle. He doesnt want to be fat,... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   17 July 2008: Sarcy, its only expensive because you both made it that way. I totally understand how upset and bitter you were, but you cannot stop this man from seeing his child, no matter how you feel about it. Because its totally un-fair on your son. You are ... (read in full...)

It's tempting to leave home right now. I can (just about) wait. Have I got it all wrong?

Q.   Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl. I live with my parents in a nice house in a small town in England. We have a cat and a goldfish pond. And to be totally honest, I'm gonna go insane if I stay here too much longer. Don't get me wrong - I apprecia...

A.   9 July 2008: Be carefull what you wish for, because not only are you wrong to want to go and live in a squat in the first place, but you are also putting your life in danger even if you cant see it. You say that you love your B/F to bits, imagine if he just ... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   2 May 2008: Uncle Phil is right babe!! dont hang it out anymore than you have to. Except he is gone and have a good cry, but for goodness sake dont let those solicitors have any more of your money. Even if they get him to admit he is the biggest ar**hole in the ... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   1 May 2008: Honey!! I cant believe that you called him. Its so obvious that he doesnt want anything to do with you, why keep hurting yourself. You know deep down that the only reason you called him was to get him to respond to you!! I dont know why you bother? ... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   14 April 2008: I kind of agree with the last poster. Solicitors will do anything to earn some more out of the poor sod going through this pain. Really it doesnt matter what you divorce him for, its not as if he will have lying cheating sh** across his head. No b... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   10 March 2008: I wish I could give you a hug, I knew you would get there in the end. Hip Hip Horah XXXXXX... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   5 March 2008: Thank God!!! you are actually staring to fight this man back. I can also tell you why he cant look you in the face, it's guilt nothing else. For whatever reason he has for his actions, does not mean you have to take it laying down. Go for what... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   1 March 2008: Hi Honey, Reading your post, I can see that you have still got extremely strong feelings for this man. I know that its hard to let go of any hope, but I think that your husband has proved over and over again that you have no option. He has move... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   13 November 2007: Hiya! I am so pleased for you, your sounding so much better, and a hell of a lot more positive. Good for you. Its so nice when you try and help someone and they feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and then they begin to see that... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   20 September 2007: Hi, I have been sitting reading what has happened to you with a lump in my throat. Its so sad when you are in love with someone who falls for someone else. I should know this has happened to me. But surely by now you can see that the only time he ... (read in full...)

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