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*efuddled1 agony aunt

*efuddled1

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*efuddled1's profile:

I live in Manchester UK and I'm 30.

I have a son and I've been Married, divorced and am now engaged again.

I am in no way qualified to help anyone, but.... life is not without its problems and sometimes we just need a second opinion to put things in perspective. A persective from someone who wants to listen and help. And try to help...i will!

12Next > [2 pages, 42 answers]

Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back!

Q.   Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back! I have been with my boyfriend 4 years and at first we had sex a lot (as you do), we were adventurous, watched porn together, discussed fantasies and had a bloody good time. After a few mont...

A.   28 August 2011: hi, I suddenly thought of this site and read the question that I asked 3 years ago. maybe some of you who were kind enough to answer aren't using this site anymore but I thought I would give you all an update anyway. I am still with my boyfriend, 7 ... (read in full...)

I can't get rid of my ugly self image!

Q.   Hi So me and my ex were broken up for a year now. NO contact at all. I loved him, and I knew he loved me, but there were family issues and I think me, being lile overly jealous at times (he was too tho) made him leave me. Problem is. I have com...

A.   26 July 2009: Hi, I too suffer from low esteem despite apparently not being considered as hideous by others. It stems from childhood and it is very difficult to have a functional relationship when you feel jealous of and threatened by other women. It is hard but ... (read in full...)

My B/F ex is a nightmare, any advice please!!

Q.   My boyfriends ex is a night mare. they have 3 wonderful kids together. i love them but she tries to poison them against me and their dad. yesterday she text my boyfriend telling him that i told his daughter not to listen to her when she tells them ...

A.   13 January 2009: It is always traumatic for children when their parents separate. All that can be done is that the parents remain civil, communicate about the children and never ever slag the other parent off in front of the children. If the seperated parents can ... (read in full...)

My wife is gorgeous & I hate men looking at her!

Q.   Ive been married to my gorgeous wife for 7 years. Im very insecure about other men eyeing her up in public. When we go out she looks amazing, the trouble is this makes me feel very uncomfortable as im constantly being hyper-vigilent to see if any ...

A.   13 January 2009: Unfortunately jealousy is a difficult emotion to control and keep in perpective. I myself have been known to be a bit of a green eyed monster and I dont know if there is a cure. I believe it is a result of deep seated insecurity. You're wife is beau... (read in full...)

Is this a good reason to marry? Will the marriage last?

Q.   i have a daughter who is nearly ten and she is an only child at present not only for me but also for her father. three years ago my exes dad died after a long illness and then just over a year ago his mum died suddenly. i found out just aft...

A.   4 January 2009: by the way...my dad and this woman...whom he had an affair with divorced after 13 years of marriage, he left her for another woman too. ... (read in full...)

Is this a good reason to marry? Will the marriage last?

Q.   i have a daughter who is nearly ten and she is an only child at present not only for me but also for her father. three years ago my exes dad died after a long illness and then just over a year ago his mum died suddenly. i found out just aft...

A.   4 January 2009: When i was a child...about your daughters age, my dad remarried and i remember being very upset and jealous. My dad said he was getting married because his girlfriend wanted to and that she had pushed him into it. i think he told me this because ... (read in full...)

Is 33 years plus old over the hill???

Q.   Is 33 years plus old over the hill truthfully Because I feel its is... your youth is gone......

A.   4 January 2009: Well! you're never going to be as young as you are now..today! so get used to it and enjoy your good self!... (read in full...)

If you like girls but get aroused looking at guys photos, are you gay?

Q.   if you like and are strongly attracted to girls... and get arouse when you see nude guys..does dat mean your gay??? thanks...

A.   4 January 2009: I am a straight woman who gets aroused looking at nude women....but I'm not sure it is the same with men. You are a young man who probably thinks of sex all the time so try not to pidgeon hole yourself and kust like what you like ...as long as its ... (read in full...)

Have I ruined things by not saying I love you too

Q.   A few weeks ago my girlfriend that i've known for 6 months and been together for 2 told me she loved me. I didn't quite know how to respond, she was upset but said she understood that and it was probably too soon to say it and she wouldn't say it ...

A.   4 January 2009: You have done the right thing by not saying 'I love you' if you are not sure you do. Too many people in this world say things they dont mean. Obviously this lady feels very strongly for you....as you seem to for her and she was upset and she feel... (read in full...)

Do men shave their pubes? Do women like it if they do?

Q.   Hey, just a quikie...do men shave thier pubes? like i always thought armpit shaving was a girl thing but i have seen men do it, and i tried to shave my crotch pubes once because i see loads of men with no pubes thier, so i thought it was normal to. ...

A.   4 January 2009: My fella has started to trim up nicely downstairs, i prefer it though i didn't ask him to do it. It has coincided with less hair growing on his head!... (read in full...)

He treats me more like a slut than his GF.

Q.   hey i really love my boyfriend, but he doesnt treat me the way i want to be treated. the way he talks 2 me is always dirty (sexual) and i want him to b more romantic and chivalrous towards me. he says that he is romantic cos he gives me pres...

A.   2 January 2009: It is hard to find the right mix of sensual and sexual..and lets face it...most men haven't got a clue. i do hate those slimy dudes with all the spiel though. People will only treat you the way you allow them to, put your foot down and say it might... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting? He slapped me.

Q.   My Best friend is a guy and we have been best friends for almost 4 and a half years. A year ago we were at work,and I said out loud how much money he had,even though nobody had heard me, he got mad and lightly slapped me across my face.I got so ...

A.   2 January 2009:  He should not hit you, ever. Or hurt you. If he thinks he can do this every time you say or do something he doesn't like he will keep doing it, all he has to do is tell you it wont happen again. I know you love him but do you really want to end ... (read in full...)

My cousin's husband who is 31 has approached me sexually (touching me, etc) several times (I'm 16), I know it's wrong but I like it. What to do?

Q.   I'm in a sticky situation. It all started at my moms birthday when I was getting tired and went to my room to change in to pajamas. My step cousins husband then walked in an saw me changing. I tried to get away, but I couldn't. He then started maki...

A.   26 September 2008: Personally I 'm not into dirty old men anyway....which is exactly what he is!... (read in full...)

My cousin's husband who is 31 has approached me sexually (touching me, etc) several times (I'm 16), I know it's wrong but I like it. What to do?

Q.   I'm in a sticky situation. It all started at my moms birthday when I was getting tired and went to my room to change in to pajamas. My step cousins husband then walked in an saw me changing. I tried to get away, but I couldn't. He then started maki...

A.   26 September 2008: You have a responsilibility to your cousin to stop this now. it is natural to want to be close to a man and horny but do it with someone outside your family. he is just using you anyway! He is a cheating scum sucker... (read in full...)

I really want to buy the right costume for my hubbys birthday surprise. So guys, what really turns you on??

Q.   Hi, This one is just a bit of fun really but it was something i was thinking about as i really want to buy the right costume for my hubbys birthday surprise. Ok, guys, what turns you on the most? 1.Sexy nurse 2.French Maid 3.Police Wo...

A.   24 September 2008: LoL Waz!!!! smell me fingers...lol... (read in full...)

Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?

Q.   Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...

A.   5 September 2008: Saltwater...? Is it 100% normal for a man to prefer wanking to a porn movie over having actual real sex? No, I thought not. That is the issue here! Men are being lazy when they stop having sex with their parners and I really think that they g... (read in full...)

I always hear women should understand men's preference for porn. But no one seems to expect men to understand women's feelings on the matter?

Q.   a quick question about porn From the many questions I read on here many women are uncomfortable with their partners using porn. I know how they feel because personally it makes me feel inadequate and hurt that my husband wants to look at other ...

A.   4 September 2008: Diovan...judging by my past and current boyfriends it would appear I actually have a thing for bald tubbies anyway. Maybe I should borrow your porn! :0) ... (read in full...)

What can I do to get things back to normal?

Q.   I seriously liked this boy and we sadly had sex when we were drunk in the holiday and now we have barely spoken around school since we got back. I really want things to go back to normal and not be awkward but can't stop thinking about what we did. ...

A.   4 September 2008: Oh my god...I did just the same thing when I was your age! I was 15 the funfair was in town...I had half a bottle of 20/20 and bam...i'd offered myself on a plate to a boy who I thought I loved who later couldn't look me in the eye at school!...but ... (read in full...)

He's been saying he's "too tired" but I catch him watch him porn!

Q.   my husband and i have been married since may this year we have been together for a year and a half. in the beginning of our relationship we had sex atleast once a week but for the past year he always says he is tired but I catch him watching...

A.   4 September 2008: read the advice i received for the same problem...it may be of help. you are not alone! http://www.dearcupid.org/question/jenna-jameson-has-stolen-my-man-and-i.html... (read in full...)

I always hear women should understand men's preference for porn. But no one seems to expect men to understand women's feelings on the matter?

Q.   a quick question about porn From the many questions I read on here many women are uncomfortable with their partners using porn. I know how they feel because personally it makes me feel inadequate and hurt that my husband wants to look at other ...

A.   4 September 2008: (Diovan!!!!..)Either I've seen some proper dodgy porn or the men in them aren't the best...lets be honest they're all bald with tubby tums...it is as if they drag a man in off the street as long as they can maintain an erection they'll do! I'd ra... (read in full...)

Husband is in the navy and announces faded love. How can I make our marriage work again?

Q.   my husband is in the navy and i moved myself and our three kids back to texas. he just told me yesterday he wasnt in love with me anymore because i wasnt there but i am moving to be with him this week. i need to know how can i make our marrage to ...

A.   2 September 2008: It is hard having a relationship. It is hard having a relationship with someone in the armed forces It is hard having a relationship with 3 kids!!! You need to have a proper talk with your husband and tell him how much you love him, how much you w... (read in full...)

Why my friends can talk to girls but not me?

Q.   hello got 1 more question how come when i talk to girls i get really nerves and scared and like if i ask them something they will take the piss and plus most of my mates can talk to girls really easily...

A.   2 September 2008: Just be everyones mate and dont worry if you are a bit shy...I was always quite attracted to those lads that didn't talk too much. made guys seem a bit mysterious and unobtainable....a challenge. good luck mr x ... (read in full...)

Age differences - should people's reactions matter?

Q.   I am a 34 year old male who has just begun dating a 19 year old female. I love being with her and adore her greatly, she is mature for her years , fun, serious when neccessary and has all the qualities of my ideal woman! However, I am concerned ...

A.   2 September 2008: Good luck to you I say....You've as much chance as anyone else of making it work.....we're all just making it up as we go along too! I hope you are very happy and lets face it...you fellas never grow up and are big kids forever right? x... (read in full...)

He cheated to be with me...will he do it to me?

Q.   I really like this guy and he has cheated on his girlfriend (my best friend) to be with me and I am scared that when I do get with him he will cheat on me. Is this true?...

A.   2 September 2008:  You must care a lot about him to betray your best pal, sometimes things happen and we don't mean to hurt anyone but we do. But can a leopard change its spots? And if it cant, do you deserve to feel the pain you have inflicted on another? I... (read in full...)

If I give him space is it possible that he will come running back to me when he's sorted his head out?

Q.   me and my boyfriend have recently split. (i ended it cos he wasn't making me happy). He just came out of a 3 yr relationship when we got together (about a month after they split) so I guess he was on the rebound. I still really like him so if I give ...

A.   1 September 2008: let him be him, and you be you, and stay in touch and see what happens. You dont have to know all the answers today, just take each day as it comes and be a good friend to him. Surrender and release and he might just come back to you. Good luck ... (read in full...)

Flat chested forever?

Q.   Okay, I will be 16 in about a month, and I'm still almost completely flat chested. Do I still have time to grow, or is it too late?...

A.   1 September 2008: Hey...I'd just like to say that I was a late developer. I was tiny, didn't start my periods untill I was 15 and didn't get boobs till I was 16 going on 17....I am now an 'e' cup!...and 5ft 6. I felt like you and wanted to feel like a woman. It is ev... (read in full...)

My husband says he is miserable with me and this time he sounds determined!

Q.   Me and my husband are currently living in Japan. He is in the army. Ever since i got here things have not been the same. He has told me he is miserable with me but then a couple days later he says he wants to try to make it work. This has happened ...

A.   1 September 2008: You are living a tough life over there, away from friends and family and your relationship is probably different there than it would be back home. Perhaps your husband is more disillusioned with the lifestyle than with you but he is taking it out on ... (read in full...)

My husband watches porn, but won't have sex with me.

Q.   My husband is not interested in sex with me, no matter what I do, and, believe me, I have tried everything. He prefers unusual porn sites (women trampling men, women smothering men) and I have offered to do these things to him but he says he does ...

A.   31 August 2008: I'm going through the same thing....you are not alone. Look at my column and the advice I have received. Good luck x ... (read in full...)

How do I escape from my abusive boyfriend?

Q.   i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years we have been living together for 1 year everynight is the same story i end up in bed crying my eyes out, he constantly accuses of me of infidelity and being places i have never heard of, hes always putting ...

A.   29 August 2008: What does he have to do to make you leave? Cos right now...he can treat you just how he wants and all he has to do is say sorry and you go back. I bet its nice for a day or two....but then something will piss him off and off he goes....whoosh..... (read in full...)

Breaking up with him seems extreme, but I can't stop obsessing over his porn watching!

Q.   Well this isn't a very original problem, except for now its happening to me and although a lot of questions I have been reading hit close to home, I have to ask anyway... My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years and living together ...

A.   28 August 2008: I'm in the same position girl...except my fella has developed that much of a fondness for porn that we rarely have sex anymore. He told me loads of times that he will stop then i end up snooping and find more. He has however disposed of the porn... (read in full...)

Why do I still miss my ex boyfriend and his abuse?

Q.   I though as you get older that you become wiser, well that is not always the case. I did not date for a few years. I had the stomach surgery that helped me to lose over 100 pounds. I met the most handsome man at the dance and he was attracted to ...

A.   27 August 2008: My friends and I have a saying... 'The best way to get over a man is to get under another' I'm not saying you should have a one night stand (never been a fan of those myself)but it is normal to focus on the last 'love' you have had until you find... (read in full...)

He wants "a bit of fun" now and then but I've never interacted with a bloke before and am worried it shows!

Q.   Ok, I am imterested in this guy at work who has told me he just wants a bit of fun now and again, the problem is I have never had any interaction with a bloke and I don't want him to know, how can I become more confident or come across more ...

A.   27 August 2008: Eh? A bit of fun now and again? Hmm, that sounds a bit ropey. Hope he isn't married girl. If you feel like you'll be happy having a bit of fun every now and again then go for it. He doesn't know what experience you've had and we all have to star... (read in full...)

Romantic gestures towards women - some brainstorming!

Q.   Hi. For a little project I'm working on, please, would as many women as possible kindly list three gestures which they would deem to be 'romantic' towards them. Many thanks!...

A.   27 August 2008: *cooking a suprise meal with a posh scrummy pudding...(especially if the man cant cook..its very sweet) *washing or brushing my hair...is that weird? *Over-doing the compliments and touching my face. Ooh love having my face touched.... (read in full...)

How do I stay gone from him once I'm gone?? I keep coming back to him as I miss the good things that have been.

Q.   I have been in an mostly emotional- sometimes physically abusive relationship for 7 years. We have 3 kids together- I have left this man at least once a year b/c I get to the point where I am so sick of being called a b____ and fat____ or dumb or ...

A.   27 August 2008: I've been there in the past...I'm angry and think..thats it I'm leaving the monster forever then when the initial anger wears off I start to wonder what I'm going to do without him and slowly begin to forget the nasty things that he's said. And of ... (read in full...)

Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back!

Q.   Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back! I have been with my boyfriend 4 years and at first we had sex a lot (as you do), we were adventurous, watched porn together, discussed fantasies and had a bloody good time. After a few mont...

A.   27 August 2008: Well done anon for breaking away because enough is enough. I'm hoping that my man can try to sort this out and we can get back to having a normal relationship. I'm probably fooling myself that this problem is not going to rear its ugly head in ... (read in full...)

Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back!

Q.   Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back! I have been with my boyfriend 4 years and at first we had sex a lot (as you do), we were adventurous, watched porn together, discussed fantasies and had a bloody good time. After a few mont...

A.   23 August 2008: Thankyou all for your advice, I cant believe it has taken me over 3 years to finally realise I cant go on like this. I have had a proper talk to him and told him how I feel. He has said he knows he has a problem and he hads got rid of the dvd's... (read in full...)

Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back!

Q.   Jenna Jameson has stolen my man and I want him back! I have been with my boyfriend 4 years and at first we had sex a lot (as you do), we were adventurous, watched porn together, discussed fantasies and had a bloody good time. After a few mont...

A.   22 August 2008: Yeah and he's probably already got it stashed under the bed!... (read in full...)

Accept to stay with him and hardly see him or just dump him as he says?

Q.   my boyfriend and i been together nearly 5 months, ghe used to want to spend loads of time with me, we went out to lots of places, now he has 2 jobs and we see each other once a week, i understand he has to work, but now he always wants to do is be ...

A.   22 August 2008: I think you should concentrate on having a bloody good time with your mates and join a netball team and learn Italian and do overtime to pay for a girly holiday...anyway you get the idea! Do stuff you want, then...you'll not only stop dwelling on w... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a porn addiction. He does't seem to find me sexually attractive.

Q.   I have a problem and I really don't even know what to think of it anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He's kind, intelligent, gentle, loving, and generally amazing to me. The only problem is that he has a porn addiction. He's ...

A.   22 August 2008: I am going through just the same thing girl. see my new post today. You are not on your own, a million guys would love to be with you...or indeed any women ...like us who enjoy sex and want more of it!... (read in full...)

I'm into animal erotica. Can anyone answer questions on "fish" sex?

Q.   Hey, Im kind of new with this.So anyway, Im a 39 year old female, Im overweight, lonley, and I need to get my freak on, Im so used to my 9-5 shifts anyway Laitly Ive been turned on by animal erotica, I had a moment when I was 10 with a dog that Ill ...

A.   22 August 2008: I'd defiantly be careful...I've seen Blue Planet and some of them have big teeth!... (read in full...)

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