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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi please help me with coping mechanisms. I have never been so in love in my life. I have always behaved like a little girl and would leave my relationships if there is a threat of another woman. What I have realized now is that those women could get away with dating/ taking my boyfriends from me.. Now I am angry and desperate my current boyfriend has made his ex pregnant and he says he feels like the only way he can be responsible is by marrying that other woman in order to be responsible... I admire him for that but the problem is that I still want to go ahead and date him coz I feel like he is the one... He still loves me a lot and told me he is confused about the whole thing. He doesn't know what to do and he doesn't want to hurt me. I think he likes me a lot and doesn't know what to do... so He has not decided yet if he will marry the woman he is torn between two choices.... On top of that I am always tempted to call me and will email him just to keep the friendship going... Please advise me whether I should just be patient and learn tricks to fight him back
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 If this guy was with you when he got the other one pregnant, im not sure why you would give him the time of day , let alone try to win him back. You say you have been treated like this before, and others have taken your boyfriends away. Why is this, do you allow every man to treat you this way. If that's the case, here lies your problem.
Its hard to give advice not really knowing how this all happened, perhaps you could tell us more, and then we could advise you better
XX take care
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): Wow, I don't think love relationships are viable when they are going this way....how did he take the opportunity to get his ex pregnant? Were you broken up? Why do you want him back when he has made his choice to make a go of it with her and stay with his future child?
Some women get pregnant to get their man, but it usually backfires down the road and the guy feels cheated and trapped or trust is just erroded forever, sad way to live, but some women have no moral compass, and these men are not thinking with their other head.
I think you are feeling desperate because of the shock and seriousness of this latest development, not because you are so in love, and you will come to your senses if you stop all contact with him now....you can't play tricks to win him back and pleading and convincing won't do it either....if he cheated on you like this, he is not a good husband, friend or boyfriend. Love is not supposed to feel this way, the intensity of your emotions does not mean you are in love, you are upset because things are out of your control and you trusted this man, and pinned your dreams and hopes on him and he let you down, that is all, sorry.
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