New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I'm 19 and a virgin and met a 41-year old woman on webcam... We're meeting this Saturday!

Tagged as: Online dating, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 January 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2007)
A male age 36-40, *y Thoughts writes:

Ok. I’m 19years old and have been desperate to lose my virginity for years, I’ve had chances to with decent girls but have stop our relationship getting to the next level because they where not virgins too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, as I’ve got older I feel that I want to lose it with another virgin, because I feel I wouldn’t feel dirty afterwards and it would be special. And they say you don’t forget your first. I lie to my friend and say how I’ve had sex with this girl and that girl because they always chat about girls they have had sex with and are having sex with so I feel I have to sort of fit in. I know a lot bout sex in pleasuring a woman and how to do it properly and feel very confident bout it but I just want to do it with another virgin so we lose it together I am sort of religious Christian but not as strong as I should be but its not down to my religion I still want to lose it desperately. Now my big problem now is that, I’ve meet a 41 year old women on the internet with 2 kids, 6 and 15 mouths old. She’s seen a picture of me and I’ve seen her on webcam and we have been chatting and we have feeling for each other she hasn’t had sex for 2 years and she’s not with her kids father and there both by 2 different fathers 1 of the fathers she said she loved and the other was just a friend who she asked to get her pregnant because she didn’t want her child to be alone if any think was to happen to her.

Because her parents have passed away. We have gotten so deep into a relationship on the net she has told me she’s having naughty thoughts about me and want to have sex with me she got naked for me on her webcam and pleasured herself and I have pushed her / forced her to meet me because we both have strong feeling for one another we have chatted on the phone and have arranged to meet up half way cause we live so faraway in a hotel for you know what and to spend the night. It’s all booked and planed and booked for this SATURDAY. I want to do it so bad, but don’t because like I said want to lose it to a virgin. PLEASE help me ASAP what should I do?????????????? She's not even really my type I think she just a fantasy but I‘m so desperate to have sex I feel that I would do it with nearly any women that’s willing to do it with me. PLEASE HELP ME Should I or shouldn’t I

View related questions: christian, the internet

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, jacktheripper United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2007):

I didn't get here in time to offer advice lol but I wanna know what happened!

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007):

So did you, or didn't you? :)

So unfair all these people that post up their life problems and can't be bothered to give us an update!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, melschatbox United States +, writes (17 January 2007):

melschatbox agony auntYou absolutely shouldn't! What are you thinking...you had me on the virgin loses it with a virgin phrase. That made sense to me..now you're willing to lose your virginity with someone you don't love, never met, and is more than twice your age. Your hormones are driving you to make a horrible mistake. If you want to be with another virgin...then stop! Not having sex for 2 years does not re-virinize you. She is using you...nothing will ever come from this except a huge mess if you two proceed with this. Please heed my warning...and rent a porno that SAT. night and watch it alone! NO harm in waiting for that special someone....you'll regret it if you don't. Best Wishes. :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntMy best friend is just like you, wanting to save himself for a fellow virgin. In some ways I understand both your viewpoints, especially how there will be a lot less pressure and it'll be more special to lose it to a virgin. I just think that by narrowing down your criteria to such an extent that you're never going to find the right person, because sex isn't about whether the person is a virgin, or age or religion or race or anything else. Sex is about love. If you love the person you have sex with it's going to be so much more special than sleeping with some random just because she's a virgin. As for sleeping with this 41 year old.... if it doesn't feel right don't do it. Trust me, you'll know when it's right and it doesn't sound like you're sure right now. If you do it and regret it you're going to have to spend the rest of your life regretting it. Try to chill out and think about what you really want. Hope this helps,

CD

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi

First can i just say, having 2 children by 2 fathers does not make a lady a whore.And does not automatically meen you carry a desease. She may be very nice, and you cant tell over the internet.

However I dont believe that you should be meeting just for sex. Why are you not meeting someone a bit closer to home. You should not worry how long it takes to loose your virginity, it will happen natuarally.

The fact you feel it will make you feel dirty, could meen you have a problem. There is nothing wrong with having sex. But I believe it should be with a person you have feelings for(not everyones veiw i know).

My advice to you would be not to go on saturday, it sounds like you would regret it. Just hold on a little longer, and wait for the right girl, Virgin or not.

Kind regards

A female with 2 kids who is not a whore XX

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (11 January 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntEveryone else gave you kosher advice.

You'll feel so much better about yourself if you wait for a girl who's been waiting for you. You say that you're depressed - well, this is just going to depress you more. And hey, if another 10 years roll by and you still are a virgin and you desperately want to lose your virginity to a web-cam woman - they're a dime a dozen. I promise you, there are a plethora of depressed, middle-aged single Mom's out there looking for young men to sleep with.

I think that if you go through with this, you're going to feel really bad about your decision. Don't do something you're going to deeply regret. All though, I realize that you want to dish with your friends about sex and stuff like that - having sex with some random woman from the internet is just going to make you feel crappy about yourself.

You sound like your heart is in the right place, wanting to wait for a special girl who has saved herself for you. Keep your heart in that place. You sound torn between your heart and your penis. ALWAYS listen to your heart. Your penis has lousy judgement.

Make the decision you want, but be careful with what you choose. Your first time is really memorable and should be special. Make it worth it.

Good luck, sweetness.

xxIndia

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007):

I agree with vina.

If you want to loose it at least find someone around your own age, not a middle-aged housewife.. or are you *really* that desperate and don't care?

My friend, when he was 16, he was desperate to loose his virginity and he lost it to a women in her 40's, similar situation to you, he met her on a webcam and she was very, very sexually experienced and he felt properly used afterward it happened because he was nervous and he didn't really like how sexual she was. Not like in the movies where he came back and bragged to all his mates about how great it was to go with an older women, that's for sure.

He said he felt quite disgusted with himself and actually we as his mates still occasionally laugh at him about it. He's OK now but he definately thinks it was a big mistake!

There is also another factor in this, it doesn't take a genius to see that this women must be going through a emotionally difficult time. Generally women and mothers of that age do not get naked on the internet and do sexual acts to virgin 19 yr olds. If you respect this women or have any capacity for empathy or compassion, you should think whether or not it is going to do her any good having sex with you no matter how much she seems to want it. Stop thinking with your dick and more with your brain.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2007):

vina_101 agony auntDon't be desperate to have sex. Because I'm telling you you will regret it. Believe me when I tell you I have been in your situaion except I went ahead and did it and now I regret my first time. Like you, I met the guy off the internet the guy wasn't my type and I only did it to actually loose my virginity because I thought I was supposed to loose my virginty because I was 17. I was wrong. I was stupid and I admit that.

You want to loose your virginity with a virgin and you want it to be special so why are you compromising that? If you want to loose it with a virgin then I think that's what you should do. It will be kinda like a needle in a haystack nowadays but it is possible. Don't rush to do things because you're desperate. I have to live with my regret and there's nothing I can do to change my first time and I wouldn't want that to happen to you even though I don't know you.

This woman seems a bit questionable. Are you two just meeting up for sex of is it going to be a relationship? Would you rather regret loosing your virginity to someone who is not your type and also that your first time was not special, OR would you rather regret not having sex with her when you had the chance? Which one is worse? Because remember you can only loose your virginity once but there are many opportunities in life to loose it and you don't HAVE to loose it now. There is no expiry date for sex and if there was it wouldn't 19 years old.

Don't meet up with her on Saturday because I feel that you will regret it. "Yeah my first time was with some 41 year old woman who wasn't my type who I met off the internet." Doesn't sound too good does it? I have to tell a simillar story about my first time and I wish I didn't have to, but what's done is done. I don't want you to regret your first time like I do so don't meet up with her. Wait. The right girl will come along.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, miki06 +, writes (11 January 2007):

miki06 agony auntFirst its kind of weird because you say how you are sort of a religious Christian and want to lose it with a virgin well thats not the weird part but the part about how u met this lady thats 22 yrs older than you (its like having sex with your mom or something .), and you said you don't want to feel dirty afterwards? I think that its more than dirty, she has 2 kids with different fathers, she could have diseases and pass it onto you, she probably had dozens of partners carrying more diseases, now are you so desperate to lose it if it will ruin your life when you can get girls your age that are virgins? And I don't think you should believe her story about not wanting her child to be alone so she had sex with a friend to get pregnant, she just sounds like a whore, thats why none of the guys will stay with her. She doesn't even care about her kids, she just wants to have sex. I say this is DEFINITELY a NONONO, you are 19 you can find younger better girls your age. You said u've had chances with decent girls but they weren't virgins and now your choosing a way older women that has more problems? I think thats worse than anything. The choice is up to you, think about it, if u decide to and anything happens..don't regret it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I'm 19 and a virgin and met a 41-year old woman on webcam... We're meeting this Saturday!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312545000051614!