Like what
she writes?
... Add *ELLULAH to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
|
My guy can be verbully abusive, and has been txting someone else. Am I heading for an abusive relationship?
Q. Hi, just alittle reassurance needer here please. My bf and i have been together for 11 months. Two months ago i foun out that he was smsing another girl and she was smsing him back (she was from his past)When i confronted him, he told me that he did ...
A. 29 August 2007: Hi,
I think if you are prepared to split up if he doesnt change, you could go along with it and give him a chance. I dont want to tell you what you should do, only you know whats in your heart. But please be carefull, and remember he has lied to y... (read in full...)
I've been having an affair with an attached girl, I want her to leave him, can her relationship survive with him??
Q. Just after some different opinions bout me problem. I know its bad but been having an affair wiv a girl whos got a boyfriend of three years. It was both emotional and sexual and quite highly charged. We became v close through it. Think it started ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi,
Can I just say, that if she really wasn't in love with the guy why hasn't she left him. It sounds like she has the stable life with him and you are the bit on the side. They have no commitment to each other, and yet she wont give this up.
I won... (read in full...)
My guy can be verbully abusive, and has been txting someone else. Am I heading for an abusive relationship?
Q. Hi, just alittle reassurance needer here please. My bf and i have been together for 11 months. Two months ago i foun out that he was smsing another girl and she was smsing him back (she was from his past)When i confronted him, he told me that he did ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi,
I would say run as fast as you can. Not only has this guy constantly lied to you, but he is verbally abusive.
Why do you want to put up with that anyway. I understand you have feelings for him, but really this guy sounds horrid.
Surely yo... (read in full...)
Me and my ex were going on holiday as mates, Now he's cancelled, I am so annoyed!! Should i be?
Q. I have recently split up from my bf and we were due to still go on a pre booked holiday next week. We had recently become long distance and he wasn't prepared to make any commitments over the next yr so it was supposed to be an amicable split, ...
A. 28 August 2007: Blimey annon,
Thats a bit harsh, have you never felt like that and not wanted to deal with it.... (read in full...)
I made rules about when me and my bf should contact each other - but he skipped his turn to contact me!
Q. Hey.. Ok so my boyfriend n me have been together for 6 months, and the first 5 months were just amazing. he was doing all the chasing just like i wanted! until that stopped. i mean, he was always the one calling n texting me first, always in...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi,
Sounds to me like he is giving you a taste of your own medicine and getting you to do the running. Will you put up with it like he did though!! now thats the real question.
Good luck XX... (read in full...)
I feel so bad for ending it with my ex - he is completely devastated!
Q. I've just come through what has to be the worst few days of my life. i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months knowing that the spark or excitement had never really existed between us. i know i will miss him but i can see that there's someone better ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi,
Dont beat yourself up over it. You had the good sence to know that its not going right, and did the right thing. Of course it will take time, but its a great healer and eventually he will move on, as will you.
Just stick to you decision... (read in full...)
Me and my ex were going on holiday as mates, Now he's cancelled, I am so annoyed!! Should i be?
Q. I have recently split up from my bf and we were due to still go on a pre booked holiday next week. We had recently become long distance and he wasn't prepared to make any commitments over the next yr so it was supposed to be an amicable split, ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi,
I hate to say this, but I think you still have a thing for him and thats why you feel so let down.
The reason he is an ex is because there were things wrong in the relationship, and he has just proved that. He is selfish and doesn't care.
W... (read in full...)
Can any of you relate to me?
Q. Some female advice please I'm a mid 30's guy and happily single. It's really great to have my own life and I'm really happy except for the lack of intimacy and female interaction. Right now its just not an option to be looking for a wife and I don...
A. 28 August 2007: This is a bit confusing.
Your happy single, you dont want a wife or a casual relationship.
Correct me if I am wrong, are you saying that you want a girlfriend that's regular but wants no commitment from you?. Or would this just be a friend then?. B... (read in full...)
Our brother stole £20,000 from my sister, I dont want him reported to the police! How can we get thorugh this as a family???
Q. Dear All, I don't know if you can help me or not, as this is a problem more around family relationships and the divide between family love and trust, and what is morally right or wrong. I have a devastating problem - this may take a while ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi Rose,
I really know this is a tuff situation for you, but believe me you are not going to help him covering up for what he has done.
I know this because I had to give my own son up to the police. It broke my heart, and i cried when they took him... (read in full...)
I'm having fantasies about rape advice please!
Q. Hey guys. Well, I'm not sure if it's normal or not, but I've been have these fantasies that I was being raped, and I enjoyed it. I'm only 14 years of age, and I know I'm going through puberty and all. But is it normal to feel like wanting to get ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi,
I think its normal to have all kinds of thought's when you are growing up. Your mind tends to run a bit wild, and you cant help how you think.
But I can assure you that if you went through the experience (god forbid that you ever do) it would... (read in full...)
My husband likes 'transexual' porn..should I just take the kids and go?
Q. My question is...My husbands porn of choice is transexual porn - porn in general does not bother me...this is a bit disturbing, especially since I have made my views very clear including an ultimadum tranny pron or us. We have kids and I love him ...
A. 24 August 2007: I admit it sounds like an obvious answer, but have you told him how strongly you feel.
If this upsets you that much, then he is being selfish to not concider your feelings.
But in the same way, it seams a little harsh to leave him just because ... (read in full...)
I accidentally had sex with a 14 year old girl
Q. ok I have a (hypothetical) question. I am a male in my mid 30's. My wife my 2 daughters (3 and 7) and my niece (15) and her friend (14) went on a road trip to Florida. We stopped halfway there and got a hotel room, my wife and I in one room the...
A. 24 August 2007: It beggars belief that you actually got this question on this site.
And by the way, I dont believe you either. There is no way that you wouldnt have know.
Its just sick!!!!!
Your family were in the next room, and never knew. You either have ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend become "serious"??
Q. Has my 'boyfriend' become serious??? asked my boyfriend indirectly of course when we had been dating for three months where our relationship was going, he replied that he liked me, but was not sure if he wanted anything serious because he didnt...
A. 17 August 2007: Hi,
I think that when he told you how he felt, that maybe he expected a different reaction. But because you were ok with this and have slightly changed towards him and are having doubts, as to wether it's worth carrying on, he has picked up on this... (read in full...)
Help, I think I might be pregnant!
Q. I need your help whether i might be pregnant. Well i thought i might be so i took two pregnacy test and they both came up negative.Then i waited till 5 days after my missed period and that one also came up saying not pregnant. Now im not sure when ...
A. 8 August 2007: Hi,
Go to your doctor, he will put your mind at ease. Its unlikely that you are, but better to find out now than just wait.
I had two pregnancy test that were negative, and I was pregnant, but this was a long time ago and I am sure the tests ha... (read in full...)
I'm furious about pornography!
Q. The statement that some women make that they have no problem with their man watching porn as they know he CHOOSES to be with them seems ridiculus to me...Dont these women realise that their man probbly has as much chance of being with a porn star as ...
A. 8 August 2007: Or maybe we feel secure with our men and dont feel the need to rant over it.
Also who says he would choose the porn star over his G/F or WIFE. Do you think most men could deal with their partner having sex for a living. I can tell you now that they... (read in full...)
I need help getting my ex out of my system
Q. Hi, Everyone I hope you guys can help me. I'm one of the Agony Aunts who has recently joined this column like you helps people with there problems. But right now I am feeling like crap, It shows that I am only human like everyone else. Right her...
A. 8 August 2007: Hi,
I think you do still have feelings for your ex, but thats normal. We all get atracted at some point, to someone bad for us. The trouble is you dont know this at first when you fall in love. Ask yourself this though!! would you want to be with... (read in full...)
I'm moving half way around the world - should I carry on a relationship with my wife or my mistress?
Q. This question is long because it's very complicated (even though I've simplified it quite a bit). Three years ago, I fell in love with a European girl and moved to Europe to be with her. I gave up a lot to make the move and it really was a blo...
A. 7 August 2007: I know that I will get abuse for saying this but here goes.
I feel you should actually move away from both of these women, and let them have a happy life without you.
You sound totally selfish and are only interested in you.
I dont know why eit... (read in full...)
My friend is pregnant and her bf cheats on her. How can I help her?
Q. Ok well I'm on BCP, so I'm not trying for a baby. But I was wondering how easy it would be for a 17 year old to get pregnant. In a magazine I read that under 18 it is very easy to fall pregnant - If this is true, why is it? Alot of my friends ar...
A. 1 August 2007: Hi,
Its pretty easy for you to get pregnant, as long as you have periods, at any age. Although there are some exceptional circumstances of course.
The reason its not a good idea though, well you answered your own question really. At that age very... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my gf but am having a hard time...I can't get away from her! Any advice?
Q. My girl and i have been going out for 1.5 years and it was awsome but i lost feelings for her and now she is all lovey and all ... i called to break up with her many times but like she will just start crying and it doesnt bother me thta she crys ...
A. 1 August 2007: Hi,
I think you should just be honest with her and tell her you dont want to be with her anymore.
It sounds like you will be doing her a great favour!!!... (read in full...)
How do people live alone and do okay?
Q. How do people live alone and do okay? I find myself single and alone due to the ending of a 20 year relationship but I absolutely hate it and think now, that I have been co-dependent my whole life. How do people do it? I get so bored and lonesome. ...
A. 1 August 2007: Hi,
First, stop beating yourself up over it. There is nothing wrong with feeling lonely, and admitting that you dont like being alone.
I have two very close friends who dont mind it at all, and are quite happy to go home alone and spread there-se... (read in full...)
I live with my fairy tale boyfriend, but he has a wife!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together and living together for a year and a half now. He is truely the most amazing person I've ever met! Our relationship is almost perfect. We spend every day together and every second is REALLY like a fairy tale. I ...
A. 1 August 2007: Hi,
I would like to add to the last reply and say, that yes some people do find it hard to break away in the first place let alone ask for divorce. I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years now, and he has not asked for a divorce. They have... (read in full...)
Why am I so moody, and how do I stop it? I'm scared of losing my boyfriend!
Q. I seem to get upset about every little thing, especially when it comes to my boyfriend of 6 months. I'm super sensitive to everything! I don't know what to do, because my bf is getting quite sick of me being upset/moody all the time. I never us...
A. 27 July 2007: Hi again,
Honest its nothing to worry about, and its more comon than you think. What's more embarasing, going to the doctor or bursting into tears for no reason.
It can all be sorted very easy XX... (read in full...)
Why am I so moody, and how do I stop it? I'm scared of losing my boyfriend!
Q. I seem to get upset about every little thing, especially when it comes to my boyfriend of 6 months. I'm super sensitive to everything! I don't know what to do, because my bf is getting quite sick of me being upset/moody all the time. I never us...
A. 27 July 2007: Hi
There is light at the end of the Tunnel. I was like this a couple of years back. I did not stop crying all the time, and drove my partner nuts.
All that was wrong was a hormone in-balance, so the doctor sorted this out for me. It took a couple o... (read in full...)
My boss and I slept together, and now I don't know what he's thinking!
Q. Oh God.. I dont know where to start... I been working with this guy for about for years. He is my boss. He is pretty hot and he knows it. He is married too. Well... I never really considered the posibility that he may be attracted to me. Well... I ...
A. 27 July 2007: Hi,
I am sorry to say, Dr Pete is more than likely right.
He is giving very good advice, and you should not be second to anyone.
Find a guy that you can be with, that is not going to cause you heartache. This guy certainly will.
Try to think ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex-boyfriend always on the phone?!
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up about a week and a half ago. He still comes over to my house and we still mess around sexually. but everytime i call him he is on the phone. he always says he is talkin to one of his guy friends. when he gets off the ...
A. 27 July 2007: Hi,
I hate to say this but I think he probably has. Its not normal for a guy to be on the phone and talk to his mates for hours is it?. Girl can do this, but I have never heard of a man doing it.
My advice to you would be stop messing around w... (read in full...)
Do I ignore what the world thinks and do what my heart says?
Q. I recently ran into my ex. We hit it off, and we started hangin out again. I strongly believe that she is an amazing person, but my family and friends think otherwise because we had a rough going of separate ways. The world truly is against us ...
A. 27 July 2007: Hi
They will be scared of seeing you get hurt that's all.
If you do decide to do this, tell your family you are taking it slow to see how things pan out.
There must be something there, otherwise there would be no attraction. And anyway you a... (read in full...)
What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?
Q. What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...
A. 26 July 2007: Hi again,
I have been reading your answers with great interest. You state clearly at the end of the last one that you wonder if its possible to be friends with this guy and nothing else. And you seem completly indignant about the answers you were... (read in full...)
He abused me, he lives next door and is now tormenting me with new girlfriends.
Q. I have just come out of an 18 month relationship with a guy 10 yrs younger than me, he used and abused (verbally) me throughout but i kept going back (and still would). I cannot get him out of my system (maybe because he lives next door), but last...
A. 25 July 2007: Oh you poor thing,
To have this happen anyway, is bad enough, but to have to watch it next door must be a nightmare.
The only thing I can say is that in time you will get over it, but in the meantime, you should get yourself out as much as possible... (read in full...)
What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?
Q. What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...
A. 25 July 2007: Hi,
I have to say you do sound intelligent, but perhaps a little odd in the way you are thinking. You say you adore his wife, and yet you say, you are also in love with her husband. Do you really know what harm you could do to this lady, even just... (read in full...)
I caught my husband cheating with his best friend; now he wants an open relationship with her and I. I can't accept it, what should I do? I'm desperate
Q. I recently caught my husband and best friend in an affair that as it turns out has been going on for seven years. She has always been around the house several times a week for the entire time. I thought something was going on about 4 years ago and ...
A. 24 July 2007: Nigel, what a fantastic piece of advice. You are never to old to stand up for yourself. Yes it is hard and scary, to be on your own. BUT its worth it in the end for your own sanity.
And Phil, get a life. Who cares about the spelling or anything else... (read in full...)
To all the women who AREN'T bothered by their partner watching porn; why?
Q. Wow, this porn issue is huge and obviously we women are bothered a lot by it. But there are women out there who AREN'T, and it is to these impressive women that I go to for advice: Why aren't you bothered by it, and what can you suggest to help ...
A. 11 July 2007: Hi,
My boyfriend was obsessed at one time, but this seems to have worn off. I think the fact I never really minded him watching it, kind of killed it off for him. Does this make sence?
We do watch it now and then, but its quite rare. When we do th... (read in full...)
My boyfriends stepson is making my life hell
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. I love him very much. from his last relationship he had taken on her son who is now sixteen.(last relationship ended ten years ago)this son is always giveing me grief. he has stolen and has no ...
A. 10 July 2007: I tend to disagree with the lady before me. I have been in this position but on the other side. It was my son and he was driving my ex-partner mad. He stole from him and was really awfull to me as well. There were times when I wanted to kill him he ... (read in full...)
We've worked through his baggage and financial problems...sort of. I just found out he took out a loan last year in secret! Should I break up with him?
Q. I have been with a man for several years. He has a crap load of baggage and we have managed to work through a lot of it. He also had financial issues that we have worked though. Or so I thought. Today I found out he had taken out a 5000 loan a year ...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
Well you need to find out what he used this for. And why he felt the need to keep secrets from you.
If he has got into trouble with money before, he may need help from a profesional.
It seems from your letter, that you have done all the givi... (read in full...)
I feel totally in love with him... but he still sees his girlfriend! I'm confused, can anyone make sense??
Q. I'm a 34 y/o bi male. I became friends with "Jason" 4 yrs ago. At the time he was by all appearances happily married with 2 children. We gradually became closer and closer friends. He is 5 yrs younger than me, and is an absolute heartthrob. He's ...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
I have loads of gay male freinds so I will tell you what I think. This guy is very mixed up himself. Whilst you have been brave enough to admit your sexuality, and are willing to take whatever goes with this, your freind has not reached this... (read in full...)
We had an argument but now it's over I still don't feel the same about her... will it pass?
Q. After a weekend away with a large group of friends, me and my extremely close girlfriend of 4 years had an argument over jealousy. She said one of my female friends - whom she has just met for the first time - was flirting with me. She got really ...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
I think it will pass, and you are still a bit resentfull. I know its hard for you, but try to understand your girlfreind was feeling a bit insecure, thats why it happened. Jealousy can be an awfull thing to deal with, its not easy to cont... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
Dont want to put the dampener on your revenge, but please be carefull. Its all very well people advising you to let this guy down at the last minute, but what if he gets violent or worse.
I agree with you that he should learn a lesson, all the ... (read in full...)
Can anybody give me some advice to as why my ex abusive partner does not approach me when we split up and apologize even when he knows that he was in the wrong?
Q. Can anybody give me some advice to as why my ex abusive partner does not approach me when we split up and apologize even when he knows that he was in the wrong? We have had a stormy realationship for many years and he has been emotionally and ...
A. 5 July 2007: Hi,
Always wondered about this myself. And this is my take on it.
They dont think they were wrong, plain and simple. I had a partner who was very violent and it took me years to get rid of him, and over him. My mates could not understand, why I pu... (read in full...)
I feel he shouldn't be spending time with her with he should be with me
Q. my boyfriend of 8 yrs plays darts and his friends wife calls him when her husbands out of town to take her to the bar; she too is his friend they all play darts together when her husbands home i cant stand the idea of him spending time with her when ...
A. 5 July 2007: Hi,
Go along with him, and be friendly to the woman even if you cant stand her. Maybe if you get to know her better you could get to like her, or at tolerate the situation. Its going to be hard because you dont want to look like you are just pick... (read in full...)
Married to my wife for 20 years, but I have this thing about other men's penises! Any advice?
Q. I am a married man and have been with my wife for 20 years. I love her more than anything or anyone else. I have no complaints and our life together is fantastic. I have never cheated on her. My problem is that in the last few years I have enj...
A. 5 July 2007: Hi,
First I thought!! how odd. But then thinking again, no its not. Its a facination thats all, and you dont need to beat yourself up over it.
I dont think you should betray your wife though. It will hurt her, and you could end up losing her. And... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had sex with my mother!
Q. I came home from work the other day early and found my boyfriend who is 39, having sex with my mother, aged 69, on my bed. My parents live with me, as does my boyfriend who moved in last year. He does drink a lot as he is having problems with post ...
A. 5 July 2007: Hi,
Just reading what alll the others have said to you, and I agree totally, get rid of this man.
How can you possibly carry on with a guy that has had sex with your mum. Beleive me I do understand how hard it is to meet a guy when you are in your ... (read in full...)
I am so scared I will lose him forever if I don't keep seeing him, what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend, and best friend, of 8 years finished with me and is seeing someone else. I still have deep feelings for him and we see each other regularly as friends. However, it is killing me. I want more than friendship, but he says he cannot ...
A. 4 July 2007: Hi,
I really agree with Flower Girl, You need to move on and not see him. Just by saying to you he cannot offer you false hope....for now. He has offered exactly that, and knows it.
Honey, he is keeping his options open with you. Dont let this hap... (read in full...)
He's moving out of our mother's finally but he's just replacing her with a girlfriend
Q. My 37 yr old brother has yet to cut the cord with our mom. Now he tells me he wants to do just that and finally move out. But his plan is to move into his wealthy girlfriends furnished house in florida. How can I make him see he's replacing one ...
A. 4 July 2007: Hi,
Whats wrong with hiim moving into his girlfreinds house. So what if it goes wrong he will learn from this, and maybe it wont. He might be the luckiest guy in town.
By the way, Guys never cut the apron strings with their mum's, just like gir... (read in full...)
| *ELLULAH's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ELLULAH has
added them and they have added *ELLULAH!
|
