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... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
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Will the age gap matter, or could it work for us?
Q. hmmm well i feel i had no where else to go so my frustation is here wow where to start , im an older guy and have a much younger girlfriend ,we have been seeing each other for a little over a year, my problem is that im 20years older then her , i ...
A. 14 April 2009: Hey!!!
We all make mistakes. She could have been like that if she had been 30 or 40, its just that you took the chance and unfotunatly it was the wrong decision. Its hard to get over a relationship when it all goes wrong, but you just have to keep... (read in full...)
Pretty sure he's cheating on me..so what does his e-mail he sent (see posting)...really mean?
Q. I really could do with some advice please. To cut a long story short im pretty sure my partner of 10 has been cheating on me, he also lies about everything even when i have prof. I have caught him asking for sex on the internet and he has had n...
A. 13 February 2008: Hi,
Well firstly!! Does he really think he would get the kids if you prove that he is on drugs, if he does, the man is an idiot. Also I know exactly the kind of guy this is, and I can read him like a book.
I dont need to tell you that you deserve ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me and wants to be friends! But he asks me to talk dirty and web cam with him. Help!
Q. *SIGHHH* Okay me and my boyfriend just broke up, he said I can move back in April.. but said that right now we're just friends what does this mean? He asks me to cam with him and talk dirty with him, but when I ask him he says no... What does this ...
A. 12 February 2008: It means Honey, that this Guy is a complete Wally (Idiot). Tell him to sod off, and dont do anything that you dont want to.
XX... (read in full...)
How do you get rid of stress?
Q. I'm 18 and I get stressed really easily. Can you please suggest ways to get rid of stress....
A. 12 February 2008: Its easy,
Get a hobbie that you love doing. Everytime that you feel the stress coming on, just disapear and do your hobbie, even if its for an hour or so.
I promise it really does work.... (read in full...)
Is my emotionally abusive ex bf, finally getting over me?
Q. I broke up with my emotionally abusive ex fiance about 4 months ago, and since then i've had to change my number because he wouldn't leave me alone. anyway, i used to live with him, so my tax forms were sent to his house, and yesterday he sent them ...
A. 12 February 2008: Hi,
You sound worried that he might be. Maybe he has just come to terms that you dont want him and have moved on, so he is doing the same. This is a good thing so dont worry, and dont ever forget why you broke up in the first place.... (read in full...)
Pretty sure he's cheating on me..so what does his e-mail he sent (see posting)...really mean?
Q. I really could do with some advice please. To cut a long story short im pretty sure my partner of 10 has been cheating on me, he also lies about everything even when i have prof. I have caught him asking for sex on the internet and he has had n...
A. 12 February 2008: Well the email sounds pretty OK to me. He is obviously worried you will think badly of him, and seems to have resonable explanations.
I am wondering though, if you think he is that bad and he always tells lies how can you live like that. Also the ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my pubic hair to spread up to to my belly button??
Q. I'm going through puberty and my pubic hair is growing up by my belly button. i find this so embarrassing! I also have armpit leg and nipple hair and this is also so embarrassing. I try to avoid getting my shirt of at school and on holiday because ...
A. 11 February 2008: Hi honey,
Of course its normal. Its also normal to worry about it, but really you needn't. Everyone is different, and all sorts will happen, just dont let it get to you.
XX... (read in full...)
Is he cheating with our lodger (who is also his cousin)?
Q. my husbands cousin has moved in last week- she's always been clingy to us, but i'm thinking of other idea's she has. because they are staying up later on a night, he tells me he will be up to bed shortly and doesnt for hours! we have hardley had a ...
A. 11 February 2008: Good Girl,
At least you know what you are dealing with. You can save your relationship, if thats what you want. But darling, get that Girl out of your home ASAP. All the time she is there its doing more damage, and you dont deserve this.
Tellu... (read in full...)
I'm playing a "dangerous game" with a married man. Do I stop this BEFORE anyone gets hurt?
Q. Im playing a dangerous game, thats how he put it. Flirting (its both sided) with a married man. we talk about sex all the time and get on well generally. last night he text me saying "do you think we're playing a dangerous game?" i replied with...
A. 8 February 2008: Hi,
You havn't actually done anything yet, so there is no harm done if you stop it right away.
You want him because you cant have him, thats how it usually goes. But believe me, you will have nothing but trouble if you go any further. Dont break th... (read in full...)
Is he cheating with our lodger (who is also his cousin)?
Q. my husbands cousin has moved in last week- she's always been clingy to us, but i'm thinking of other idea's she has. because they are staying up later on a night, he tells me he will be up to bed shortly and doesnt for hours! we have hardley had a ...
A. 8 February 2008: Hi Honey,
What an awfull thing for you to go through, but just as I expected. Yes! she is only 16 with nothing, and he is a man of 30, unfortunatly thats the atraction.
If I were you I would tell him that you know what has been going on, and tell... (read in full...)
Insecure about the way I look.
Q. Ok, I'm very insecure looks-wise. Media images mostly make me insecure, and porn. I know it's very plastic though. However, I just see how guys drool over actresses and porn. It's just fantasy they say. But I just get so down every time I see...
A. 7 February 2008: Hi,
I dont think you are odd at all. Its normal to feel these things when you are young. Most people, as they get older become more confidant with themselves, and to try and look at people in a magazine as less important.
I can also tell you, tha... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to laugh during his orgasms?
Q. When me and my long term boyfriend have sex, when he cums, he laughs and is often forced to stop the stroking motion. He says it's not a bad thing at all, but doesn't seem to be able to explain it... or maybe he just doesn't want to. Why does he ...
A. 6 February 2008: I often laugh at my boyfriend before sex, I think its just nerves. Well thats what I tell him anyway.... (read in full...)
Should I live my life based on horoscopes?
Q. i want to go out with this boy who is realy funny and i think he likes me as a friend, but i dont know weather to ask him out because my horoscopes in a magazine say we shouldnt go out. what should i do???...
A. 6 February 2008: No way,
They are a load of rubbish, and you only read into them what you want.
Think about it!! everyone born on 1st Febuary is an Aquarius. What!! we all have the same things happening in our lives, and our personality's are all the same.
Y... (read in full...)
Is he cheating with our lodger (who is also his cousin)?
Q. my husbands cousin has moved in last week- she's always been clingy to us, but i'm thinking of other idea's she has. because they are staying up later on a night, he tells me he will be up to bed shortly and doesnt for hours! we have hardley had a ...
A. 6 February 2008: I am sorry to say that alarm bells are ringing.
If he hadn't tried to talk you into going out on your own, and leaving them alone, I would say you might be paranoid. But something about this is all wrong. Why did the cousin not offer to go out with... (read in full...)
I want to leave her but I don't want to ruin my childrens lives. What do I do?
Q. Hi, I hate my girlfriend so much 90% of the time, we have 3 gorgeous children all aged under 4 and I would be heartbroken if I had to leave them, they are my entire world. I put up with my girlfriend because i have seen the hurt on other children ...
A. 6 February 2008: You are ruining there lives, by staying with thier mother that you hate. Why do you hate her so much anyway? Is there no chance that you could fix things between you?
If not then you have to go, while they are young. It doesnt get easier as they... (read in full...)
We were going to leave our spouses and start a life together but he's gone back to his wife!
Q. I have been having an affair now for about 3 months and it all started at work. Him and i were instantly attracted to one another. I started to come up to work more often to see him and spend time with him. Well it all started one night when he ...
A. 6 February 2008: One of the risks of having an affair, is that you get hurt. Someone always does, its enevitable. He has gone back probably out of guilt, but you have to stand back and let him get on with it.
Your not being fair to his child by threatening to caus... (read in full...)
He wants a lap dance! How should I do this?
Q. Sometimes, I joke about giving my boyfriend a lap dance. Saying I will makes him go erect, and he seems to love the thought. And if only I had the confidence and the looks, I would! He says I'm beautiful, and that everything I do turns him on, but I ...
A. 6 February 2008: Honey I dont know many women that would have the confidence, to lap dance for their man.
I think what you need to do to stop yourself looking and feeling foolish, is not to go to over the top.
Start by dressing a bit provocative, and maybe co... (read in full...)
I found out she's bisexual.. It's freaking me out!
Q. I'm not homophobic, and I have nothing against people that choose not to be straight, but my quite close friend has basically told me she's bisexual... Now I feel watched by her when I'm around her. I know it's ridiculous, and that if she was a gu...
A. 6 February 2008: Hi,
I think your feelings are natuaral really. You have known this person for a while, and suddenly you find something about them that makes you feel uneasy. But as you yourself have said, it doesnt mean that the girl is after you. The only way that... (read in full...)
Been snooping through my bf's cellphone and questioning his ex, he found out but never accused me of intrusiveness. I don't know what to think?
Q. hi, i started checking my partners cellphone and read a few messages from his ex nothing too detailed so I never bothered too much,then more textes were coming and they met a few times , when I asked him he made up excuses but never seemed to bother ...
A. 5 February 2008: Maybe if he was guilty, he would have lost it. I personally dont think that he is hiding anything. If he is, he is remarkably calm dont you think?
You know what they say about the first line of defence being to attack. Well he hasnt has he? So I re... (read in full...)
She will not stop being friends with a male friend I dislike... is her love not as much as mine is for her?
Q. why is my gf acting this way. we've been dating for a year now...silly things wants her to stop the relationship. i love her to death and she's the only girl i want cannot imagine my life without her. it happened like 5 times she want to put an ...
A. 5 February 2008: "She needs medication, her male friend wants to Fu** her". What on earth are some of you people on.
The poor girl doesnt want to be controlled, and why should she be. You are the one stirring up the trouble, not her. All she has done is to stay... (read in full...)
If you get pregnant on the pill do you still have periods?
Q. If you accidentally get pregnant while taking the Pill, is there a chance you will continue to have periods? Like if you don't know that you're pregnant and you continue taking the Pill, will it force you to have a period? Or will you still skip ...
A. 4 February 2008: Hi,
If you think there is any chance that you are pregnant, then stop aking the pill. Go to see a doctor or take a test. You need to know if you are or not, its no good leaving it all to chance. And if you are pregnant, taking the pill will not get ... (read in full...)
I watch gay porn, is this normal?
Q. Is it normal to watch gay porn because i get more turned on by gay porn than straight porn am i gay...
A. 4 February 2008: Hi,
No I dont think watching gay porn makes you gay, even if you get turned on by it. Its just a film for goodness sake.
Only you know if you are gay or not, but I very much doubt that watching a film would have persauded you to suddenly turn.... (read in full...)
Will the age gap matter, or could it work for us?
Q. hmmm well i feel i had no where else to go so my frustation is here wow where to start , im an older guy and have a much younger girlfriend ,we have been seeing each other for a little over a year, my problem is that im 20years older then her , i ...
A. 4 February 2008: Hi,
You already know that you will have trouble, and of course people will make asumptions and stare a bit, probably out of jealousy mostly from the men.
But when it comes down to it! why should you care about what people think. If you love eac... (read in full...)
How can I have sex with other girls without hurting my girlfriend?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been dateing for 7 mounths now and the frist couple day of our relationship she took my virginity and for the past 4 or 5 mounths i wanted to experience it with other girls but with out hurting her can sombody please help ...
A. 1 February 2008: You cant!
Its scummy and you shouldnt do it to her. Its not fair, how would you like it if it were done to you.... (read in full...)
My ex has a lot of money but only pays a little towards child support. What should I do?
Q. My ex is a real piece of work. He never wanted our son and has done everything he can to avoid paying child support. He has even gone as far as saying that he doesn't feel he should pay child support as I already claim Child Benefit and Tax ...
A. 1 February 2008: Hi,
I know loads of people that are doing this sort of thing and it makes my blood boil.
How do they get away with it? Although you are luckier than me, my ex never paid a penny to me in 14 years. I only ever claimed working family tax credit, ... (read in full...)
I'm married but I want to be with my ex. How can I do this without causing damage to my kids?
Q. Here's the situation. I love my ex. I always have and know I always will. Always felt he is the love of my life. We recently acknowledge our true feelings. Problem is I'm married. Miscommunications and a broken heart lead me to my husband to ...
A. 1 February 2008: Theres that old GOD word again. What a load of rubbish.
Although Laura makes a few valid points, and she is right that it will be hard for you and the kids at first. Children get over a lot more trauma than thier parents splitting up. As for sayi... (read in full...)
I'm undecided - should I give in to my brother's urges and have sex with him?
Q. My brother trying to seduce me. He's been trying for a long time, from time to time he was making a move on me, but now I think he's serious. When we were in early teens (13-15) we already had a kind of sexual relationship with him - we've been tou...
A. 31 January 2008: Funny!!! I can hear the tune from "Deliverence" in the background as well.
Is it OK, get a grip love!... (read in full...)
I can't decide.....my wife?? Or my girlfriend??
Q. I need help from someone who has been through this life crisis before, and has time to read my story! My wife and I married in our late 20s, thinking we both knew what we wanted, and although we didn’t have a whirlwind passionate romance, we thou...
A. 31 January 2008: Hi,
Reading your story was like my real life story, and I am probably not the person you would have been hoping to hear from (I was the girlfriend, in my story).
Our situation, was so simular to your its uncanny. Except we met at work and he is my... (read in full...)
I'm married but I want to be with my ex. How can I do this without causing damage to my kids?
Q. Here's the situation. I love my ex. I always have and know I always will. Always felt he is the love of my life. We recently acknowledge our true feelings. Problem is I'm married. Miscommunications and a broken heart lead me to my husband to ...
A. 31 January 2008: You only have one life.
You cannot do this without hurting the people that are the closest to you though. Your husband would in time get over this, and you are living a lie and dont want to be with him anyway. This is unfair on him, he could meet... (read in full...)
She won't have vaginal sex with me, only the back door kind!
Q. Hi, I have been dating this girl from past 3 years now. We tried having vaginal sex many times but every time i have been unable to penetrate her for some or other reason. Either she is too scared of the pain either she is too tense etc.We tried ...
A. 31 January 2008: Hi again,
I can understand totally the fear of sex the first time, as it took me ages as well. But what I dont get is that she can manage to have anal sex, surely this must be a lot bigger problem to get over. And as for the fact that she wont let ... (read in full...)
He abuses me emotionally, But I can't leave him!
Q. Please help me. I'm desperate. I am so in love with my bf, I mean I have never been in love like I am now, but things have happened, I should leave him. Things have turned so nasty between us, but I am so in love, I can't actually tell the diff...
A. 30 January 2008: Then Honey, if thats all you think your life is worth you are mad.
This guy does not love you, he is as good as a wife beater. I know how hard it is to leave a guy like this, and for now you definatly wont. But you will in the end either that or h... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get wet just thinking about sex?
Q. Hi. i am new at sex and i was wondering if it is normal to get wet just thinking about it. like out of nowhere in the middle of class just get wet. also what do i do about it? ignore it or run to the bathroom and finger myself and get it ove...
A. 30 January 2008: How strange! at your age, all I could think about was what horse I would get to ride at the weekend. ... (read in full...)
I told her that the morning after pill is abortion, she hates me now, what should I do?
Q. Dear friends, I have been crying for a day now because of my best friend. I have known her for over 9 years now, and we've helped eachother so much. I moved in with her and her son from another state and lived with her for about 5 months and then...
A. 30 January 2008: Sorry! but I think you acted apallingly. How can you refuse to offer to help a friend that took you in when you needed help. So what!! she asked you to get a morning after pill. There is no baby at this point. She may not have even been pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Did he really sign up on this dating site...just as a joke??
Q. hi i just recently found out that my long term partner signed up to a dating wbsite i used to trust him but after this i think i no longer can we have 2kids together and he has been bringing up my other 2 children from a previous relationship. i ...
A. 30 January 2008: I met Phil through this site, and he is lovely. We talk all the time, and I know his wifes name and we both know what each other looks like. She is not jealous of me and my partner is not jealous of Phil.
If I lived near Phil, I would sail with him ... (read in full...)
My son is punished everytime my husband drinks.
Q. my husband is the greatest guy in the world until he starts drinking, he loves my son from a previous marraige, but when he drinks it seems like my son is the worst kid in the world and I am the worst mother. I was going to leave him a couple of ...
A. 30 January 2008: Hi,
This is extremely hard, as your child will say whatever he thinks will make you happy. Also children often stay close to the abuser, because they will do anything out of fear and trying to please the person that's abusing them.
How do I know t... (read in full...)
How can I test him to check how much he's in love with me?
Q. my bf of a year now is kind of treating me bad lately and gets upsets very very easy...he was not like that in the beginning.why is he acting like this..he gets upset when i'm giving hugs to other guys who's actually one of my best friends.when i ...
A. 30 January 2008: Sorry honey, but this Guy needs to grow up. If he is treating you horribly, thats not showing much love is it?. He is obviously the jealous kind of guy, and feels really insecure with himself. But you dont treat someone you love like that.... (read in full...)
She won't have vaginal sex with me, only the back door kind!
Q. Hi, I have been dating this girl from past 3 years now. We tried having vaginal sex many times but every time i have been unable to penetrate her for some or other reason. Either she is too scared of the pain either she is too tense etc.We tried ...
A. 30 January 2008: If I were you I would be out of there, without hesitation. Are you 100% sure that she is a girl, did you actually see the doctor with her? Its just there is something very strange about this, Girls mostly find that anal sex is horrid and painfull. ... (read in full...)
Do guys compare their girlfriends to the girls in porn?
Q. do guys compare their girlfriends to the girls in porn? I was just wondering because my boyfriend watches porn all the time and lately I have had a hard time in bed because I am worried that I am not attractive enough because he'll be thinking...
A. 25 January 2008: Hi again.
Was just reading the answer from hlskitten, and its true as you get older you do become more confident. It's amazing really! your body doesn't look as good as it did, but you feel less threatened, by younger women. I cant work it out?... (read in full...)
Do guys compare their girlfriends to the girls in porn?
Q. do guys compare their girlfriends to the girls in porn? I was just wondering because my boyfriend watches porn all the time and lately I have had a hard time in bed because I am worried that I am not attractive enough because he'll be thinking...
A. 25 January 2008: No honey its just porn.
I doubt that if you asked him the day after watching it, he could remember the colour of thier hair.
Why do girls get so hung up on men watching porn anyway. If you think about it, they have no chance of actually getting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant. What should we do?
Q. me and my boyfriend dated 3 years ago for a year. we were truley in love. Because of my family not being to fond of him we broke it off and i was depressed for along time. I never really got over him and he never got over me. We met up again and my ...
A. 25 January 2008: Hi there,
He made a mistake, and he should have been more carefull. But he sounds like a nice guy really and you should stand by him.
He doesnt have to go to doctors appointments, or to the hospital when the she is giving birth. But he does hav... (read in full...)
I lent him some money, he wants to pay it back but I feel I've been used and manipulated?
Q. Will try to put this as simple as poss, just wanted opinions really. Got back with someone last november after being split for 3 months. Previous to that we were together a year. He lied about something, nothing major, but it caused a wedge b...
A. 25 January 2008: Hi,
I think you are being very hard on yourself! and him really.
True you dont know the truth over what he was told, but he wants to be with you, so the chances that he has tried to have one over on you are pretty slim. After all! He could have jus... (read in full...)
Any polite way to tell a friend she should not post semi-nude photos in the Internet?
Q. Is there any polite way to tell a friend that she shouldn't be posting pictures of herself, 53, in Lingerie on her facebook page?...
A. 25 January 2008: Hey, I am a regular on this site. And the one major thing I have noticed, is that when someone has something nasty to say. They uasually stay ANON. I dont mean you by the way, you were just concerned about your friend. I'm talking about the nasty ma... (read in full...)
Any polite way to tell a friend she should not post semi-nude photos in the Internet?
Q. Is there any polite way to tell a friend that she shouldn't be posting pictures of herself, 53, in Lingerie on her facebook page?...
A. 22 January 2008: No,
Just tell her, she is going to make herself look Ridiculous. And as her good friend, you dont want people to laugh at her.
We both know where we are coming from dont we?
XX
Tellulah... (read in full...)
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