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*ia agony aunt


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I started this account when I was 19: I was young, bushy-eyed and naive. While I am still relatively young (23), I have been through a lot of tough situations and life struggles. I've loved and I've lost, Drake and Rihanna couldn't be more right.

While I have lost some of the hopes and dreams I had when I was 19, I have gained valuable insight into relationships and love.

I'm currently single, but I'm open to life and whatever may come from it. I'm still recovering from a long-term relationship, I loved (still love, really) him, but he doesn't love me--at least not the way I want him to. So believe me when I say that I know about love and that it can be a total bitch sometimes. I still always hope for the best.

I'm a shoulder to cry on and a friend who gives good advice IRL and I hope I can convey that level of communication on here.

Been in love with my best friend for 5 years, its getting me down, how can I get over him

Q.   I feel like theres something seriously wrong with me, I see people have break ups and afew months later they're happy again and some have even got into another relationship. But not me. I've been in love with a close friend for 5 years. I'm not s...

A.   12 August 2012: Hi hun! I feel for you, I really do. I've been there, believe me! Except you're better off because it's taken you 5 years to realize this whereas it took me 7 (SEVEN!) years to realize and come to grips with the situation. Hun, if he's going to... (read in full...)

I don't want to change for someone

Q.   What am i supposed to do everything is so different now!! Lets start from the boyfriend lets call him Alex. Well Alex is my first real boyfriend. I never really went out with a guy before i was more one of those people that just likes ...

A.   3 May 2009: If you really want to stay with this guy, then you shouldn't be flirting with all sorts of boys at parties; however, you should be yourself around him, don't pretend to be someone else, you'll end up hurting yourself and him in the end if you try to ... (read in full...)

What does this mean and how do I move on?

Q.   How do I forget a guy and what does this mean? Ive had feelings for him for the past 2 years and its hard to just let go. However, he's never respected me and only talks to me for sex. Ive slowly talked less since I know thats what i should be...

A.   3 May 2009: Move on, hun. He's only using you, forget him and get on with your life. I'm not saying that it'll be easy, but it would be even harder to still harbour feelings for someone who doesn't care about you. You deserve someone better: someone who will ... (read in full...)

Multiple orgasms

Q.   Ok, odd question here. For the last month or so I have been having multiple orgasms a lot closer together than before. I would always have more than one every time we would make love, but as I said for the last month or so, I have been having ...

A.   26 April 2009: Yes, and I envy you!!... (read in full...)

Should I really have my phone attached to my hip and check it every five minutes?

Q.   My bf is very impatient and has a short temper. I'd also like to mention he has never been abusive to me physically, mentally, or emotionally the past three years we've been together. I wish I could say the same for inanimate object. But... he...

A.   26 April 2009: No, it's not your fault in any way, shape or form!! You're human, we're bound to forget things sometimes! I think your bf needs to go to anger management class or something like learning how to destress so he doesn't have all of this innate anger ... (read in full...)

Should I try to go back with her? Or just move on?

Q.   This is going to be really difficult to explain to me, but hopefully people will get something out of it. So I was in a great relationship, my first serious girlfriend. We met in my college sophomore year, were together for several months, ...

A.   20 April 2009: Hmmm, I dunno, you guys are still pretty young, so I say you guys should stay away from each other, in a romantic sense, and maybe date a few people for a few years, see what happens and if you still have feelings for her, try to reconcile your ... (read in full...)

4 months into marriage and already unhappy in SoCal

Q.   UNHAPPY IN SO CAL:~( I have been married for 4 months now and I think that there is somthing wrong with me because I just hate having sex with my husband. I have never been attracted to him but I thought I would still want to make love to/with ...

A.   20 April 2009: Hmmm. I don't mean to be brash, but if you weren't attracted to him in the first place, then why did you marry him? I mean, his wonderfulness can only go so far. If there was no attraction you shouldn't have married him, you should have broken up ... (read in full...)

I touched myself, does that mean I lost my virginity?

Q.   Hello,I'm very ashamed to speak about this but I've no choice,I knew that my critical period must start that night but I couldn't stop,I pressed a pillow down there and touched myself.Suddenly I felt a little pain and after 10 minutes my critical ...

A.   20 April 2009: Even if your maidenhead/hymen breaks, it doesn't mean that you've lost your virginity. Like TasteofIndia says, unless there was a man, or woman, you haven't lost your virginity AT ALL. The blood was probably from your period, so don't worry.... (read in full...)

Should I have sex even though I'm just 13?

Q.   ok im 13 and i want to have sex. i have a boyfriend, and we have been dating for about 4 months and i think i am ready he is 14 and is a freshman in high school i am still in middle school (8th grade). but my main question is, should i even though i...

A.   15 August 2008: It's sad to hear, but I totally agree with what Tremor says. Even though it's too late now you don't have to feel pressured into doing it again. You should have sex when you want to, don't ever let anyone try to force or cajole you into it. ... (read in full...)

What do women think about a guy thats 23 and still a virgin?

Q.   What do women think about a guy thats 23 and still a virgin. thats my situation. im not ugly or fat....

A.   14 August 2008: I think it's fabulous, too many men -- boys rather, loose their virginity too young! I think that a man who still has his virginity at 23 would (generally) be more considerate of what a woman wants when it comes to sex, not just groping the boobs ... (read in full...)

Should I have sex even though I'm just 13?

Q.   ok im 13 and i want to have sex. i have a boyfriend, and we have been dating for about 4 months and i think i am ready he is 14 and is a freshman in high school i am still in middle school (8th grade). but my main question is, should i even though i...

A.   14 August 2008: Hon, there are a lot of responsibilities that come with sex, like "do I have protection (i.e. condoms, birth control pills, etc.)?" and what not. I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex, but think long and hard about it, is this is the guy you really ... (read in full...)

Will I look 'too keen' if I call him?

Q.   I have a crush on this guy and he sms'd me asking me how i was and what i've been doing, he then asked me to call him one day when i go out so that we could catch up. The thing is, my guy friend says that i shouldnt call up my crush but wait until ...

A.   12 August 2008: I say give it a shot and call him, can't hurt. If you leave it for too long he might think you're not interested or don't care about him. Besides, he asked you to call him didn't he? He might have a crush on you and he might not have a crush on you, ... (read in full...)

I am 14 years old and I really want to have a baby, I think I would make a great mom, I take care of my brother and sister all the time, please tell me what you honestly think??

Q.   iam 14.and i'll be 15 in about 6 months.i want a baby so om never around so i take care of my brother and sister all the time.grew up rough no dad you know...i would be a amazing momma.people are costanly telling me im already mommy and i ...

A.   12 August 2008: What everyone else says here is true. You're too young to be even considering having a kid, never mind having one! Kids are a huge responsibility and even though you think you're ready for it, you're not. Do you honestly want to continue the cycle ... (read in full...)

I'm feeling very lonely and unloved by my husband...What do I do?

Q.   My husband doesn't fight fair and we argue every single day, literally. Everytime I say stuff like, "You don't even love me.." he never says anything. Or he might say, "I care about you alot..." but he almost never steps in to make it known that he ...

A.   12 August 2008: Hmm, he sounds like he might have clinical depression or some other mental issue. I think the best thing to do in your situation would be to try to get him help, the sooner, the better. If he doesn't get checked out and helped, he'll bring you down ... (read in full...)

Are there any other couples still using condoms after getting married?

Q.   My husband and I are married less than a year and we're still using condoms just to play safe. We've tried without once or twice but are too scared. Just want to know if there are any couples who are still using condoms after getting married. Or...

A.   12 August 2008: I'm sure there are many couples who still use condoms after marriage. If you find nothing wrong with using condoms then you should continue on with them, as long as you're comfortable then there's nothing wrong with it! If you want to go on the p... (read in full...)

There is an age difference between me and the boy I like, does it matter?

Q.   I'm 15 almost Sixteen. He's just turned 17. He's starting his senior year. I'm starting my Softmore. I like him... alot ... and he seems to like me. but I think the age and grade diffrence may be in the way. do guys really care about that ??? ...

A.   8 August 2008: It's not really that much of an age gap actually. It may seem like a pretty big age gap right now because you guys are in high school and he's about to graduate in less than a year and you still have two years ahead of you after he graduates, but ... (read in full...)

Thrilled about a new pregnancy! What is something special that I can do for my wife?

Q.   Hi all not really a question but more of an announcement! I want to tell the world but I think this is the closest I shall get! I am very excited, my beautiful goddess of a wife has just informed me we are about to have another child!! It wil...

A.   31 July 2008: Congrats! Don't worry, cradles are always in style! I'm sure your wife will be thrilled by you making one!!!! Best Wishes! Jia!... (read in full...)

Have I lost her forever? She has no patience left for me...

Q.   Ok so if you have read my other question you already know what has been going on somewhat, but for those who havent. My girl that i am madly in love with has decided she wants to know what its like to be single. To not have to worry about anyone but ...

A.   31 July 2008: Man, that's one tough situation you got there bud. As painful as it sounds, I don't think she's into you that much anymore. If she really loves you then no amount of pushing or nagging on your part could make her not love you. From what I can see ... (read in full...)

Should I stay in my relationship if I'm not really happy?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half. We haven't been intimate yet. I know it's because he is paranoid about pregnancy. I went on birth control; the mirena, so I can't get pregnant in 5 years. I live with my mom and siblings and ...

A.   31 July 2008: No relationship is without flaws, and you can't be happy in one all the time, but he doesn't really sound like the guy for you. You need someone to make you feel wanted and loved, someone who puts their heart and soul into the relationship. There is ... (read in full...)

I put in much more effort than my girlfriend when it comes to sex, what do I do?!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been dating almost 9 months and when we hang out, sometimes we like do engage in sexual activities. I have found myself doing so much more than her, I pleasure her with hands and mouth, but she barely ever does stuff to ...

A.   14 July 2008: Hmm, that's tough. It's great that you put a lot of yourself into sexual aspect of your relationship, but it takes both of the people in a relationship working together, sexually or not, to have a mutually satisfying one. One can only do what you're ... (read in full...)

I like a man 14 years my senior - what should I do? I can't keep my mind off him.

Q.   In my job I have met a lot of people. I first met "tony", the manager of a different department, when I was cleaning. He struck me as odd and quirky but I was not attracted to him. I thought he was good looking, but nothing more. Then one day I just ...

A.   14 July 2008: I'm in a similar situation, and while I can't really do anything about my predicament because of the nature of my situation, I see nothing really wrong with what you're going through. If the age disparity between you two is all you're worried about ... (read in full...)

When would be the proper time to try, to have sex with her, she is very shy?

Q.   I love my girlfriend she is a pritty shy girl to be honest. her ex boy friend treated her badly but was more advancde then me , i dont no when i should make the move to have sex with her and how? i dont want to make a move then get rejected i would ...

A.   10 July 2008: If you really love her you can wait for her, however if you really want to have sex with her you have to be subtle about it. Considering her previous relationship, it's probably going to take a significant amount of love and understanding for her to ... (read in full...)

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