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... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
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Should just tell him to drop dead?
Q. I desperately need help before I lose the plot! My boyfriend cheated on me, and when I say cheat I mean he had a full blown relationship with another woman. We broke up for ages talked and finally decided to get back together. But since this ...
A. 29 September 2008: Hi,
God!! I really feel for you, it happened to me as well, apart from we were married and had kids.
Its just the worst feeling in the world, everyone knew except you. They make a right fool out of you dont they? Just remember though, he hasnt do... (read in full...)
Should I include my child in meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time?
Q. I have been divorced for 3 years, I have a 5 year old daughter, and i have been dating this guy fr 4 months. We were talking about meeting his parents. He has met my daughter and spent time with us. She adores him! I know his parents are al...
A. 29 September 2008: Hi,
Personally I wouldnt put that much strain on myself. After all, you are bound to feel a little nervous at your first meeting with them, so it might be better if she came along the next time that you got together. If they are good parents they... (read in full...)
My friendship with a late 50s man has become sexual. He's married and I am getting over sexual abuse in my past. What shall I do?
Q. I'm good friends with a man who's in his late fifties and have been for quite some time. Since about April time this year, we've been seeing each other once or twice a week and been sexual. Although we've only had sexual intercourse twice, we've ...
A. 25 September 2008: I am sorry taht you were abused as a child, BUT
Why would you let this happen, and risk hurting this mans family. Its not like your in love with him is it??.
Dont you think you have been through enough without bringing more heartache to yourself... (read in full...)
I am having a hard time with him keeping a hang on his past, is it me or what?
Q. I been married for a very short time and it seems he cant let go of his past girl friend he keeps her pics in his puter looks for her emails and he had bought this dog for her and after a yr or two she didnt wat it so he kept it the dog comes ...
A. 25 September 2008: Hi,
No your not, I think I would be miffed as well. The one good thing is that he is not hiding stuff from you, but he is being very inconsiderate of your feelings. Could you talk to him and tell him how this makes you feel? try pointing out that... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend and confesses, he wants me to think of a solution. His is to get even!...
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend the other day, i told him what happened, now he wants me to think of a solution, but i don't have one, and his solution is to do the same thing to me, to make it even. what should i do?...
A. 24 September 2008: Two wrongs dont make a right, do they? Of course thats not the solution, it could go round and round in circles.
If he loves you he wouldnt want to get even, there must be some other way you can make him see how sorry you are.
Why did you feel the... (read in full...)
I’m utterly devastated, I did admit to him I had made mistakes in the past, but he became very disrespectful and nasty to me, and in the end he dumped me. Is this what I deserve for trying to be perfect for him?
Q. I admit I had made serious mistakes. And I never denied this to anyone. For starters I lied to him about my past when he asked. I lied because he was jealous much, and I kind of expected an awful reaction to the truth. I lied, but told him the truth ...
A. 24 September 2008: Sweetheart,
My ex used to say the same stuff to me. He said because I had been married and had two children and that my husband left me for someone else, I should be gratefull that anyone would have me. He abused and insulted me for nearly 11 year... (read in full...)
We were 'wife swapping', then jealousy started, insecurity started and we ended up having so many fights. But we still love them.
Q. We were friends, best friends with a couple and their two kids. We turned like family, always hanging out together. Over two years ago, we mutually decided to experiment sexually with each other' partners. It started with simple massage sessions...
A. 23 September 2008: Its a shame, but as Uncle Phil said you learn the pitfalls of doing this kind of stuff. Personally I would let them go and make some new friends.
Get some real ugly ones then you wont want to shag them LOL.... (read in full...)
I've been through an awful divorce and am now in a trouble relationship with an alcoholic. I feel like I need to run away and start anew. What is best for me and my kids?
Q. I was in an abusive rationship of almost 12 years. I dont have the best relationship with my mother or my family. My brother commited suicide a few months before my husband left me for another woman. Since then I struggled with an evil ex-husband ...
A. 23 September 2008: Do you know, that on reading this I felt really proud of you, and I dont even know you.
Look at what you have been through, and yet you are still OK.
You are down! well who wouldnt be if they had been treated as badly as you have. You dont sou... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I live with a 44 year old, but my family don't know!
Q. im 17, with a 44 year old. i love him to bits and he's going through a divorce. he's got 2 kids - one just 3 weeks younger than me. im currently living with him, but my parents and freinds think im staying with a few mates i met at work. we have not ...
A. 23 September 2008: Its only natural that your family will think the worst when you tell them. I cant imagine how I would have reacted if my daughter had done the same as you. The worst thing that you are doing though, is keeping it a secret. Because that makes it look ... (read in full...)
He lives in another country, he's 10 years older than me, I'm 13 and beginning to get a crush on him.
Q. [What is a frienemy??] Latley i've been talking to this guy who lives in another contry. He's my frienemy and he makes me happy with his jokes and his all around prsonality. He is ten years older than me, and i'm 13! but i feel like i'm beginnin...
A. 23 September 2008: Babe,
I was only watching an item on TV the other morning, where a girl of 14 years old met a guy who was 21 years old on the internet. She ran away from home to meet him, because she thought she was in love. Darling he turned out to be 37 YEAR... (read in full...)
What causes water to come out of my vagina?
Q. Hi all. Well, here's my case. I visited my bf for the week end and we started having sex from that night. I never had a problem until Sunday morning when it felt sore when he enters me, i actually felt like his penis had grown bigger or my hole has ...
A. 22 September 2008: Hi,
Sounds to me like you might have got Cystitis, often called the honeymoon disease as well. Its caused by to much sex, which is really common. The best thing to do though, would be to go to your doctors and get tested just in case, because ... (read in full...)
I'm used to my girlfriend forgiving me after I abuse her, but this time she's fed up. What do I do?
Q. Hi everyone. I've been with this girl for 3 years now. We have a child together. I love her dearly and want to marry her. She does everything for me. She let's me want for nothing. We have the same religious background which is wonderful (first girl ...
A. 19 September 2008: I certainly hope that it is to late for you. She sounds like a caring and wonderfull person, and deserves a lot beter than you (but you already know that) If you really love her, then let he go. Dont make her any more promises because you clearly ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept with my younger stepsister. How do I get over this?
Q. well for starters i have a stepsister who is younger then me and we were close or what i thought was close. ive been around her since she was a baby. i have a daughter by this guy that i was with for three years that she kind of knew because of ...
A. 19 September 2008: Hi,
Honey I cant believe you have forgiven him, let alone her!. What she has done to you is awfull, and just the worse thing you could do. You said yourself that you would never do this to her, that is because you have respect and you are a dece... (read in full...)
I want to focus on my marriage but how can I carry on with my life without feeling resentful towards the man I had an affair with?
Q. I am married and very stupidly had a brief relationship with another man a couple of months ago. We were going through a very rocky patch in our marriage and although that isn't an excuse, I feel it was a way of escaping it. The other man is now ...
A. 18 September 2008: Its really good to hear that you are going to try, at least it sounds like your husband is a nice person. More than we can say for the other Guy eh!
Learn your lesson darling, and focus on what's important. XXX Good luck to you... (read in full...)
My wife kissed her friend in front of me. Am I crazy to have allowed it? Is it normal seeing that they've been friends for 8 years?
Q. My wife and I have a close friend...his name is John. John spends a lot of time with us. He's single and hangs out with us a lot. He and my wife are taking a class together and they often work out together. Last night, we took John to the ...
A. 17 September 2008: In short...It would worry me. But then I wouldnt let my B/F kiss one of my mates like that.... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? He's never cheated on me... but I keep on doubting???
Q. hi, I am into a relationship at this time. We are about to celebrate our anniversary this coming NOvember. My fiance is really a good nad loyal man. He is very lovable and caring. we actually live together on weekends since during the weekdays i ...
A. 17 September 2008: Perhaps he is just scared that you will do the same thing and hurt him. I dont know why his family are mocking you, that seams rather strange, have you asked him if they have a problem with you.... (read in full...)
I want to focus on my marriage but how can I carry on with my life without feeling resentful towards the man I had an affair with?
Q. I am married and very stupidly had a brief relationship with another man a couple of months ago. We were going through a very rocky patch in our marriage and although that isn't an excuse, I feel it was a way of escaping it. The other man is now ...
A. 17 September 2008: You had an affair, that's what an affair is all about, No strings! no explanations!,no commitment. They nearly always hurt someone, and there is always one that thought more than the other.
I dont know why you are angry, he has decided to make thin... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 17 September 2008: Hi again,
You have been given some really good advice, and the best way (only way really) is to talk. He will be uncomfortable about it, but like the annon Aunt said this is your life as well. I think its amazing what we as humans can put up with... (read in full...)
What should I do now to stop being pregnant??
Q. Last night i had sex usig condom but unfourtunatley it broke and becose i was scared i took a pill of microgynon which i had stopped for a while, what shall i do now? Is it possible that this piss to not have an efect from the first day? What you...
A. 16 September 2008: Go straight to the Chemist and get the morning after pill. The one you took (mycrogynon) will have no effect, it needs to be in your system for a couple of weeks to work.
Honestly its painless and it works XX... (read in full...)
On top of struggling financially, I discovered that my husband has been sleeping with our neighbour. I don't know what to do.
Q. I need help. I am in a very very bad place. I work in an industry that is taking massive hits and lay offs everywhere. I am responsible for 2 children (from my husbands 1st relationship)and my husband, He also works but we rely on my wage ( I earn m...
A. 16 September 2008: Your future is probably OK Hun, its his that is in jepardy. I think I would leave him myself, he has taken the Pi** out of you good and proper. He doesnt deserve such a hard working, honest, and lovely lady. I hate to say this but the man is scum, ... (read in full...)
She is just so cold....do I sound needy??
Q. Hi, everyone i will to thanks those that help me out in my prior post in this site (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-became-very-close-but-now-its-all.html). Things are getting better for the past few weeks, but then there is another thing ha...
A. 16 September 2008: Yes you do honey, but thats a natural reaction when we think we are being rejected. I feel the best thing you could do is to try and not contact her, at least for a week or so. If she does not get in contact with you in this time then I'm affraid ... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 16 September 2008: Darling, do you know how long ago that he put this on the net? because if its recent then obviously your relationship is not going the way you thought, and I feel that their is not a lot of hope.... BUT! hopefully its old and he has forgotten to ... (read in full...)
Being cheated for 3 years, want out now. What type of financial support can I get from my husband for me and my child?
Q. I found out my husband cheated on my when our son BeBe was just 4 weeks, he is going to be 3 this Oct. The other woman just gave birth to my husband child 3 month ago. After almost three years of sharing my husband with the other woman, there is n...
A. 16 September 2008: Hi Honey,
Sorry to hear what an Ar** your ex has been to you, but at least you have the common sence to get out and move on. I'm affraid that I cant give any advice on money matters, except to do what Emily says and see a lawyer, or better stil... (read in full...)
I am the other girl and I want him to get caught cheating because I hate his girlfriend! How do I get caught on purpose?
Q. I am the other girl. Slowly i'm realizing that he's a complete jerk and this all might not be worth it. I do enjoy being the other girl because I hate his girlfriend. How can i GET caught on purpose?? I want her to know, I want him to get caught. I ...
A. 15 September 2008: God no wonder you stayed anon. You two should get to-gether your just as nasty as each other.... (read in full...)
Do you think her brother will harm me after I pushed her too far?
Q. My girlfriend(my best friends sister) is a shy qutie around me, we were sitting at in my room yesterday, just softly kissing each other on the mouth and I started getting rough with her, kissing her all over and fast and I kinda forced her to do it ...
A. 12 September 2008: I tell you what "I bloody well would".
If this isnt a hoax, then you should be totally ashamed of yourself, you do realise that you could be classed as a "sexual preditor" dont you. If you want that label then you are going the right way about it. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to push him into a relationship (he's freshly divorced) but I can't "hang around" indefinitely. He said while drunk that he didn't want to make me suffer. We haven't had sex yet. Any thoughts?
Q. I've been seeing this guy now and again for the past year. It started out as a friendship but last year was difficult because he was going through a difficult divorce and he was quite distressed about everything. His wife told him that he had made ...
A. 12 September 2008: I totally agree with the others, its a bad idea to hang around for someone thats not ready. It sounds like it could end in disaster, and thats the last thing you need. If I were you I would move on, because 1, you could meet the man of your dreams, ... (read in full...)
I am the other girl and I want him to get caught cheating because I hate his girlfriend! How do I get caught on purpose?
Q. I am the other girl. Slowly i'm realizing that he's a complete jerk and this all might not be worth it. I do enjoy being the other girl because I hate his girlfriend. How can i GET caught on purpose?? I want her to know, I want him to get caught. I ...
A. 12 September 2008: "He is a complete jerk" Why do you want him then?
For whatever reason you hate this other girl, I wonder if she knows about you.? If she doesn't and is a trusting person, I cant see why you hate her so much, perhaps you should chanel you energy into... (read in full...)
My LD boyfriend yelled at me and cursed me when I said I would delete the pictures of his ex'es from his camera. We haven't talked since. Is it over?
Q. My boyfriend and I have not talked for two nights so far and we are in a long distance relationship that's been going on for a year and two months. I am so confused and lost I do not know what I did wrong or where I stand with him anymore.I been down...
A. 11 September 2008: Personally, I think he should be apoligising to you. Ok you said something a bit silly, but its perfectlly normal that you felt the way you did. I dont think he has anything to hide from you (otherwise he would not have let you keep the camera) but ... (read in full...)
I can't face my boyfriend taking regularly with his ex!
Q. Right here it goes.... My bf and I have now been together for 7 months, b4 me he was with his ex for 3 yrs. Since i have been with him it had been made clear that they dont speak at all. Today I went to comment on my bf on facebook and i see a co...
A. 4 September 2008: First.... Calm down.
If you start acting like a Psycho, he will run for the hills. Try to put things in order and dont let your mind get carried away. He is not with her anymore he is with you, try to remember that if he was meant to be with her!... (read in full...)
Consequences of smoking pot?
Q. I'm happy with everything in my life, I love my boy heaps. We both work full time, and we smoke pot... is this affecting us in our personality? We only smoke after work......
A. 1 September 2008: Brilliant answer Callroy.
If everyone was sensible, it wouldnt be so bad would it.... (read in full...)
I have a wife and two kids but I miss the relationships with men that I had before marriage!
Q. Hello to all, I am so crazy right now. I am so in love with my wife and 2 kids but my insides still have desire for men. I told my wife before we got married that I had past relationships with men but never really felt like it was the right thing....
A. 1 September 2008: Hi,
Well I dont think you should live the rest of your life a lie, because we only get one.
Having said that, how you handle this so you hurt the least that you possibly can is going to be really difficult.
Your wife knows your past, so she will ... (read in full...)
Consequences of smoking pot?
Q. I'm happy with everything in my life, I love my boy heaps. We both work full time, and we smoke pot... is this affecting us in our personality? We only smoke after work......
A. 1 September 2008: This is a subject very close to my heart. I get sick and tired of people droning on about how it is harmless. WELL ITS NOT.
In some cases, (only for medical reasons mind) I agree that it can help. But anyone that says how harmless it is, obvi... (read in full...)
I want to masturbate my boyfriend but what should I do with the seminal fluid?
Q. i want to jerk my boyfriend off but what do you do with all the cum...
A. 1 September 2008: Cor!!! and they say romance is dead.... (read in full...)
Should I swing?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years wants us to swing with his friend and his girlfriend. This is something he really seems into and I don't think I could. But should I do it for him? ...
A. 1 September 2008: No,No,NO,NO..........
It will end in tears, mark my words.... (read in full...)
I made up a girl and now he loves her and not me!
Q. I made a fake account and the guy that I really like started talking to her.. or me?. But now i don't know what to do because he's falling inlove with the fake girl that I made. I dont know why he likes the fake girl. The picture that I chose was an ...
A. 1 September 2008: Hi,
Take it s a learning curve and dont do it again. Thats the trouble with lie's they tend to jump up and bite you on the arse.
If I were you I would let it all fade away. Dont answer from her to him any more, he will soon forget her, and you wont... (read in full...)
I'm in love & I'm pregnant, but his parents don't agree... PLEASE HELP!!!
Q. I'm very young and am having a baby with my boyfriend (who is the same age as me). As anyone expects, his parents have reacted badly. But now it has come to an extreme. First his parents book him anger management behind his back, then they took awa...
A. 1 September 2008: I'm affraid that you dont have any right's, and neither does your boyfriend, as obviously you are still children yourselves.
All I can say is that if my son had come home and told me he was going to be a father at 14 years old, I would have been... (read in full...)
I think my family hate me, I don't want to stop visiting them, but I don't want to see them either...
Q. I think my family hate me. I've been through years if abuse from my mum. It got worse on my 17th birthday, which was last December and I didn't expect to wake up from it. I was meant to go into care at 12, but they somehow managed to stop it. I g...
A. 27 August 2008: Darling, nobody is worth doing that to yourself for. Its easy to say and not so easy to do, but cut them out your life.
Any mother that could sit there and watch a child do that, just doesn't deserve to have kids.
Take care babe xx... (read in full...)
I think my family hate me, I don't want to stop visiting them, but I don't want to see them either...
Q. I think my family hate me. I've been through years if abuse from my mum. It got worse on my 17th birthday, which was last December and I didn't expect to wake up from it. I was meant to go into care at 12, but they somehow managed to stop it. I g...
A. 27 August 2008: Hi,
There is an old saying that you will probably have heard, and that is 'You can pick your friends, but you cant pick family'.
When we grow up, its very common for kids to not get along well, with thier parents. There is nothing that you can do, ... (read in full...)
I don't feel "that" special person is my ex, as she has emotional baggage and I am not ready for an exlusive relationship just yet. What do you think?
Q. Okay, I'm seeing this woman who's a bit older than me (I'm 24 she's 31) and she's also my ex. Things seemed to be going well enough, until she revealed to me that she's looking for an exclusive (as well as sexual) relationship with me, something ...
A. 27 August 2008: Hi,
Clearly you did the right thing for yourself and her. You both seem to want different things from life, she wants a man that will respect and take care of her, and you want that special person to give your virginity to. I think its better for ... (read in full...)
He says he misses me when I'm not there, but when I am, his kids give him a hard time.
Q. I was in a relationship with a man 20 years older than me, his kids didnt aprove. So I moved out and stopped seeing him. now a couple months ago we started seeing eachother again. I found out Im pregnant. I thought about it for 5 days, finally told...
A. 27 August 2008: Hi Honey,
Well he wont be missing out on his grandchildren but he will be missing out on you and his new child (if you go ahead and keep it). I cant help thinking he is a very stupid man, for bowing down to his kids like that.
I think you should a... (read in full...)
I am having trouble being what he wants me to be. Help me before I lose him!
Q. I've been a single mother for 10 yrs.And i've been really hurt in the past from other guys. And now I've been seeing this absolutly wonderful guy for 5 mths.We are currently seperated though.Our current problem is that he wants me to talk more with ...
A. 26 August 2008: Well! its a good sign that this guy cares how you think and what you want in life. He sounds like a nice guy.
Nobody can garantee what your future will hold, or if he will hurt you. But if you dont at least try to trust him, you will never know if h... (read in full...)
He says he misses me when I'm not there, but when I am, his kids give him a hard time.
Q. I was in a relationship with a man 20 years older than me, his kids didnt aprove. So I moved out and stopped seeing him. now a couple months ago we started seeing eachother again. I found out Im pregnant. I thought about it for 5 days, finally told...
A. 26 August 2008: How old are his kids honey? He doesnt sound like he has much backbone.
I understand that his kids are important to him, but truth be told, a lot of kids are selfish little sods, and are not there forever. Where-as you will be.
I think that its... (read in full...)
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