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*ELLULAH agony aunt

*ELLULAH

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ELLULAH's profile:

Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.

I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway.

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My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   6 April 2009: Glad to hear that, I'm really pleased for you honey. Take care and enjoy your new life...you certainly deserve it. XXXX... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   17 July 2008: Sarcy, its only expensive because you both made it that way. I totally understand how upset and bitter you were, but you cannot stop this man from seeing his child, no matter how you feel about it. Because its totally un-fair on your son. You are ... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   2 May 2008: Uncle Phil is right babe!! dont hang it out anymore than you have to. Except he is gone and have a good cry, but for goodness sake dont let those solicitors have any more of your money. Even if they get him to admit he is the biggest ar**hole in the ... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   1 May 2008: Honey!! I cant believe that you called him. Its so obvious that he doesnt want anything to do with you, why keep hurting yourself. You know deep down that the only reason you called him was to get him to respond to you!! I dont know why you bother? ... (read in full...)

Is there any way I can get over his past lies and trust him 110%?

Q.   Hey, Well im not exactly the best lookin girl ever but my boyfriend says im beautiful and i know he loves me. We have been together for 14 months now and it is love. We have the best times when we are together and i know he would never cheat on...

A.   17 April 2008: Hi, I know that not everyone will agree with me, but I dont think that you should ever trust someone a 100%. That doesnt mean that your boyfriend will go off with someone else, it just means that you shouldnt base your whole life around that pers... (read in full...)

I just can't be second in line to her boyfriend any more! Advice, please!

Q.   well im back AGAIN. Let me tell you my story then you can see if you can help me with some advice. Uhm its about a decision that i have to take or make.. Theres this girl that i want, but she has a boyfriend.. She tells me that she feels the same ...

A.   16 April 2008: Hi, If she was mad about you she would have left her B/F to be with you. Move on and find someone unatatched, she doesnt sound worth it, with all the hurt you are feeling. I know its hard to give up, but you will get over this in time.... (read in full...)

Need advice about my inconsiderate boyfriend!

Q.   I need an advice... I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. I just turned 29, he is 27. He's American, I am from Europe. When we first started dating, he was wonderful with me. We were spending so much time together (he was always ...

A.   16 April 2008: Sounds to me like he has his feet under the table and is taking you for granted. He should have time to himself, but not telling you that he has invited his family, over or is working late is just bloody rude. I would tell him that if he cant be m... (read in full...)

How do I deal with a crush on my flirting boss?

Q.   hi my boss has always been flirting with me now i've developed strong feelings for him. what should i do?...

A.   16 April 2008: If he is single and so are you, why not go out with him. That is unless it would get in the way if it didnt work out. If he is flirting and you dont like it, tell him you will report it if he doesnt stop. ... (read in full...)

I love him,but he says he doesn't love me .......yet?

Q.   I was with my ex for a very long time,we had a son together and lived together for 15 years.we split 18 months ago,i had a relationship with a guy that didnt workout and he did with a women that didnt workout as well,we have both now decided to give ...

A.   16 April 2008: Hi, Yes babe! you are worrying for nothing. If he didnt love you he wouldnt be giving it another go would he? especially as you have a son together. Just give it a little time, and dont bug him about saying it. Dont you say it to often either, ... (read in full...)

I can understand that he's not attracted to me/interested in me, but at the very least I'd have thought we were friends?

Q.   I truly need advice. I am at my wits end. I have lived with flatmates for 8 months, and resolved to move out, as I have fallen for one of the guys. In the beginning I thought it was reciprocal but it wasn't. And yet, he still confuses me. He'll ...

A.   16 April 2008: Hi Sounds to me that he may be in love with you as well. Ever thought that he could be upset that you left and didnt seem to care that you were going. Just a thought!!! but I would let him know that you like him. Good luck XX... (read in full...)

How can I get my girlfriend to orgasm?

Q.   Whats the best way to make my GF orgasm ive got her close but shes never actully orgasmed please help?...

A.   16 April 2008: That was a joke by the way! Who really gets off picking out a dress. he! he! ... (read in full...)

How do I stop him from walkin away from me or stop hurting him?

Q.   I've Met An amazing Guy And I know he would do absolutly anything for me! Hes In The Year above me in school but we dont go to the same school. We have been on and off since january and eveytime we get together i end up finishing him because im ...

A.   16 April 2008: Hi, I dont think you sound ready for a relationship at all. You are very mixed up with your feelings, and thats natural at your age. Its just a sugestion but how about just being mates with him first. Get to know each other a little bit, and then... (read in full...)

We are both married to other people but feel so strongly about each other

Q.   Dear Cupid I have recently been contacted by a male friend who I haven't seen for many years, through an Internet Friends website. I only found out a couple of months ago from my Mother that he had very strong feelings for me all those years ag...

A.   16 April 2008: Hi, The last poster gave you a very simple answer, and it was totally correct. If this guy means so much to you, then the only thing is to come clean get divorced and then be together. If only it was that simple though eh?. You will cause mass... (read in full...)

How can I get my girlfriend to orgasm?

Q.   Whats the best way to make my GF orgasm ive got her close but shes never actully orgasmed please help?...

A.   16 April 2008: How about a whip or electrocution standing on a wet floor in very uncomfortable high shoes, without rubber soles?. Also works for me!!... (read in full...)

Shaving problems please help

Q.   Im 19 and have been shaving for about 3-4 years about 2 years ago i was really paranoid about my bum hair and thighs so i started shaving that aswell, the only prob is in the last year i have been having bad red lumps and spots coming up... i have ...

A.   16 April 2008: Hi, You could try electolisis (sorry if i spelt that wrong) its permanant but rather expensive. But honestly! you are probably more paranoid than you need to be. Try asking on the internet as well, you may get more sugestions on there. ... (read in full...)

My wife wants a 21 year old guy for 24 hours for her 50th!

Q.   Hi I am looking for anyone who has been through this situation before. My wife is turning 50 next month and i asked her what she would like for her birthday. (she has every thing you could wish for) or so i thought. She could come up with an...

A.   16 April 2008: If you have done a lot of sexual stuff before (swinging etc) why are you so surprised?. If it doesnt bother you, let her do it. Its not likely that he will run off with a woman old enough to be his mum is it? I cant imagine why any woman of that... (read in full...)

My husband keeps asking me why my body doesn't look like the women in porn!

Q.   My husband keeps asking me why my body doesnt look like the women in porn...I tried explaining to him that after a few kids things change...Im not at all overweight but womens bodies do change in ways that cant be helped after babies like stretch ...

A.   16 April 2008: What planet has your husband been living on. He is either thick or he has no tact with you what-so-ever. IF he really has said this to you, I find it hard to believe that you are still with him. I personally!! would have knocked my partner out if he ... (read in full...)

How can I get my girlfriend to orgasm?

Q.   Whats the best way to make my GF orgasm ive got her close but shes never actully orgasmed please help?...

A.   15 April 2008: Hi, You could try promising to buy her a new frock or shoes, just when she is just about there. Works for me!!... (read in full...)

Do men know they are treating you badly?

Q.   Do men know they are treating you badly? I have a feeling they do. For example the bf wouldn't call me for days and then call and act like nothing was wrong and I would start to pull away so then he would suddenly start doing the right things aga...

A.   15 April 2008: I bet at our age, a lot of us girls have been with a guy like that. My mother always used to say "all men are bast***ds" it makes me shudder at how she is so hard on my dad (her laungauge is pretty colourfull). But my dad adores her, and is always ... (read in full...)

Poll Question, Please answer: Are you closer to your Mom, or to your Dad?

Q.   Hi Guys! This isnt really a romance question, but a relationship one nonetheless, and I would really like as many answers as possible. My boyfriend and I have a differance of opinion on familial relationships. One of us says that boys generall...

A.   15 April 2008: Hi, I would say definatly my Dad. He is the best man I have ever met and never lets me down. He is kind and compasionate and always makes sure I am ok, even though I am 48. I absolutely dread the thought of losing him, as he is now 78 years old,... (read in full...)

I broke up with him, but I did it so subtly that I don't think he realizes it.

Q.   My bf had been stringing me on for some time(years). Every so often we would have a talk and he would say he wasn't ready for marriage but never offered up when he might be and things would go on the same and not moving towards marriage or living ...

A.   15 April 2008: Hi, Well! I dont think he would understand from that either. Men dont think like us at all, we are emotional and irational, and like to know where our lives are heading. Men would take every day as it comes as long as their is dinner on the tabl... (read in full...)

My husband of less than a year has just walked out on me!

Q.   help, i am devastated, my husband and i got married less that a year and my husband(who is 2 years younger than me) has just walk out on me, he said he needs some space and is confused. I ask was there anyone else, he has told me definitely not, i ...

A.   15 April 2008: Hi Honey, Right first try to calm down. I know that this is very upsetting for you (especially as its a bolt from the blue). But there must be some reason, even if he wont say what it is. My advice would be to leave him alone for a couple of days... (read in full...)

I am so devastated that my husband has been looking at porn

Q.   I am so devastated that my husband has been looking at porn...I have read all the advice I can find and realise that there are many different opinions on it...but for me its a non negotiable issue. Sadly I had been very cear with my usband about ...

A.   15 April 2008: Hi, There a lot of valied points on here, even the last poster that was a tad harsh. But the truth is that your husband may well look at porn and his ideal woman's figure may not be like yours, but you are the one he loves. The women on those site... (read in full...)

Should I walk away from this relationship, as I don't think he loves me...?

Q.   Hi, I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly two and a half years. The problem is this, he loves being the centre of attention and when i get attention from men he does not like it. I go to his hometown, the girls are not friendly with ...

A.   14 April 2008: Country Woman is right! He has no respect for you. He is playing on your feelings towards him, and sounds positively mean. I think he sounds like he is trying to make you feel insecure, and thats so wrong. You know the saying "No good flogging a ... (read in full...)

I love my BF but he has a bad temper and last night hit me! Is it an excuse that he has problems at home?

Q.   I love my boyfriend more than anything and i know he loves me to however he can be really childish and he has a bad temper last night he hit me only on my leg but still he hit me. he has alot of problems at home at the minute, should i end it?...

A.   14 April 2008: Hi, The trouble with this sort of behaviour is that if you dont end it, you are more or less excepting that it's ok to hit you. Has he ever done this to you or anyone else before? He needs to get some help, to learn to curb his temper. If he is on... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   14 April 2008: I kind of agree with the last poster. Solicitors will do anything to earn some more out of the poor sod going through this pain. Really it doesnt matter what you divorce him for, its not as if he will have lying cheating sh** across his head. No b... (read in full...)

Am I right to say he just wanted sex?

Q.   I am an Asian lady and dated a Caucasian guy for almost 2 months. He's the same age as me. I recently backed off from seeing him as I felt he didn't put in enough effort to make the relationship work or go further. It seems he's only interested in ...

A.   11 April 2008: Hi, Not Necessarily, he may have had strong feelings for you. I think its natural to want to make love when you are first with a new person. Did you try to explain how you felt?. The thing that I dont understand is why he hasn't tried to persue y... (read in full...)

Having a relationship with my dad's friend, should I tell my parents?

Q.   Hi, i am 17 and my dads friend (who is 42) has told me he has had feelings for me for a long time, we have kissed on a few occasions and have been away on a weekend together where we had sex which i really enjoyed. I really like him, but i think ...

A.   11 April 2008: Honey, He does have children, he has you. If you knew that this wasn't wrong you would have told your parents already. Although you are 17 (not sure about the law in you country) this is morally wrong as there is a 25 year age gap, and you are only... (read in full...)

My husband left before xmas, wont see me, but phones almost everyday. What should I do?

Q.   my husband left me before christmas,he stays in touch with family,but wont see me ,although he phones almost everyday.i would love to sort things out with him as i still love him,i dont know what to do should i tell him to leave me alone?is he just ...

A.   9 April 2008: Hi, Dont send anything nasty that you might regret. Just let him know that you need time alone to think about things. Ask him not to call you with any silly problems, as you have your own to deal with. You really should be proud of yourself... (read in full...)

My lack of confidence is keeping me stuck in a rut. How can I live the life I want to live?

Q.   I have a rather annoying habit of destroying practically anything good in my life because I question and analyse everything. For example, I rejected my last girlfriend because I had a hard time figuring out how I felt about her and came to the ...

A.   9 April 2008: Yes I guess it was a bit stupid!. But the only person that can help you! is you!. There is nothing wrong with your life, only the fact that you over analise everything. I wonder have you ever watched that film with Ben Stiller "Along came poll... (read in full...)

My lack of confidence is keeping me stuck in a rut. How can I live the life I want to live?

Q.   I have a rather annoying habit of destroying practically anything good in my life because I question and analyse everything. For example, I rejected my last girlfriend because I had a hard time figuring out how I felt about her and came to the ...

A.   8 April 2008: No not really?... (read in full...)

My husband left before xmas, wont see me, but phones almost everyday. What should I do?

Q.   my husband left me before christmas,he stays in touch with family,but wont see me ,although he phones almost everyday.i would love to sort things out with him as i still love him,i dont know what to do should i tell him to leave me alone?is he just ...

A.   8 April 2008: Hi, I know this is hard. But speaking as someone that this also happened to, and at the same time of year (mine was christmas day though). Tell him to leave you alone, to get your act together, and decide what YOU want. Dont contact him, and get ... (read in full...)

Why do I feel the need to pressurize girls on the net?

Q.   I don't want to say I'm not a good person, I am. My question is this: Why, when I talk to a girl (via the internet, because I feel too nervous face to face!), do I feel the need to pressurize them (not stop when they dont send me messages for a d...

A.   8 April 2008: Hi, I dont think this is related to actually losing your father, but possibly the way you were brought up afterwards. If you feel insecure as a child, it could follow you through your life. It is important not to let this get of control though. ... (read in full...)

How can I go to a funeral with him being there too?

Q.   2 years ago my cousin and his friend raped me, and i fear my g-pa is going to die soon, how can i go to a funeral with that monster being there too? I need help on this question................

A.   8 April 2008: Hi, Sorry to hear about your G-Pa, it must be very hard for you. You dont say if these scummy men were charged with the assult. Its entirely up to you if you go to the authorities, except to say like the other aunt. "Whats to stop them doing th... (read in full...)

My love with my wife's sister!

Q.   I am married to my wife 9 yrs back, and have two kids. I love my wife verymuch. It was three years back when my wife was carrying my second kid, her sister stayed with us to help her. During this time, somehow we both liked eath other the way we ...

A.   8 April 2008: Hi, I feel extremely sorry for your wife, she is being betrayed by the ones that she trust's the most. If you do not love your wife then dont stay with her. But at least have the decency to leave her sister alone. She should also be ashamed of what... (read in full...)

I am about to lie to my family about where I am flying to

Q.   I need to visit my boyfriend - I havent' seen him for months and love and miss him so much - but he lives in another country. I have hidden my relationship from other people because of our cultural differences and I am about to lie to my family ...

A.   8 April 2008: Hi, I think you may be the girl that wrote in a while back, asking what you should do about visiting your boyfriend abroad, and that your parents wouldnt aprove. I advised you that you were old enough to do as you wish, and that if you didnt go... (read in full...)

Should I just move on with my life and let my husband realize what he has given up?

Q.   My husband and i are going through some really hard times right now and we are trying to work through some things. But, i don't know what to believe and what not to believe. He says that he is trying to grow up and trying to get us our own house so ...

A.   8 April 2008: Oh Honey!! This is awfull for you, and he shouldnt be putting you through this. Honestly, I think he is having his cake and eating it too. You say that he is staying away, so that he can save up for you all to have a home together. What are you livi... (read in full...)

I was drunk and had unprotected sex, did he ejaculate....?

Q.   Well me and my boyfriend went out to a night club and got hammered on saturday, thing is, he told me he wanted to go home and have sex and that's perfectly fine, it's a "normal" occurance. So we went back to mine very drunk and then we went to have ...

A.   8 April 2008: Hi, Emilysanswers is totally correct. You can go and get the morning after pill from the chemist, you may still be in time. The chances are very high that he did, and like she say's unprotected sex is a no no. Unless you want a baby that is. Good ... (read in full...)

Help-My boyfriend is a 16 year-old stoner!

Q.   I have been crying these days because i have no idea what to do. My boyfriend is 16 and im 14 turning 15, we love eachother very much but the thing is lately he has been smoking weed actually he has smoked for about a month now and has got ston...

A.   2 April 2008: Darling! if he really respected you he would give up or at least cut down. Its good that you recognise that it is an adiction, but he has to want to stop or nothing you can do will make him. He can only do this for himself. He is not perfect! and ... (read in full...)

Please help me, I am getting down with the way husband is acting towards me!

Q.   I am getting very very down about the way my husband is towards me and whenever I say about it he gets annoyed with me. If I give some examples of his behaviour...I would be so grateful for anyones opinion as I feel like I don't know whether I ...

A.   2 April 2008: Hi, Please dont take this the wrong way. Is he behaving like this all the time or are you just noticing it ocasionaly. I ask this because it could be that you are picking up on things that normally wouldnt bother you. Ask yourself honestly, have... (read in full...)

Five guys and I like them all, but which should I pick????

Q.   HELP!!!!!! i really need some help i have a real problem i like 5 guys all at the sane time i dont know which to choose cos i know it will be slutty and unfair to pick them all lol well the 1st guy is going out with my best friendso i know he's...

A.   2 April 2008: This must be awfull for you, imagine that 5 and you dont know which one. I bet you will have just as much trouble finding a hat to fit. Good luck XX... (read in full...)

Help! Husband thinks his Persil-nal washing and cleaning gifts can brooming well clean up as romantic presents!

Q.   This thing is really bothering me and I don't know how to deal with it. Dan (my darlin' hubby) often has a habit of buying me cleaning products on occasions such as Birthdays or Christmas' and it really doesn't make me feel very special consider...

A.   2 April 2008: Mmm, I wonder what you buy for him? I'm afraid that there are an awfull lot of men out there like this. Mine is actually one of them as well. He is very good to me in other ways, but being romantic is not one of his + points. In fact when it was ... (read in full...)

I cannot let this relationship go, but travelling to see him implies lying to my family that does not approve of it! Please advise.

Q.   I am in a mess. My family were very harsh to me about my boyfriend as they were against the relationship (I was separated from my husband) and they wanted me to go back and make the marriage work - made my life hell about it. My boyfriend has moved ...

A.   31 March 2008: Hi, If the age on your post is correct then why do you have to answer to your family. It really is none of there buisness is it? If you love this man that much then go and see him, or you will regret it for the rest of your life. At least you can ... (read in full...)

Although the relationship was very troublesome, I still feel like I love and want her, help!

Q.   Hi all, my girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me 5 weeks ago. We had our fair share of problems. She lied to me quite a bit, once about talking to her ex for a few hours, and then about little, meaningless things throughout the ...

A.   31 March 2008: Honey, I know its hard to move on, but a relationship based on lies is no good. She doesn't sound very commited, otherwise she would have been honest. Just except that she was not the one for you, and find love elsewhere. You deserve to be trea... (read in full...)

I have been told I look like a player because of the way I danced in the club!! Why such comment?

Q.   hi everyone i have what may seem like a silly question but feel really paranoid. i'm 33 married and have children. i'm always told that i look attractive and have a good figure which although is true i'm not a very confident person and wanted some ...

A.   31 March 2008: Unless you were dancing round a pole with no pants on, I would take it with a pinch of salt. He probably was using it to just come over and chat to you. Dont worry, or get paranoid. Men will use anything to see if they can pull you. Tellula... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   10 March 2008: I wish I could give you a hug, I knew you would get there in the end. Hip Hip Horah XXXXXX... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   5 March 2008: Thank God!!! you are actually staring to fight this man back. I can also tell you why he cant look you in the face, it's guilt nothing else. For whatever reason he has for his actions, does not mean you have to take it laying down. Go for what... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   1 March 2008: Hi Honey, Reading your post, I can see that you have still got extremely strong feelings for this man. I know that its hard to let go of any hope, but I think that your husband has proved over and over again that you have no option. He has move... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   13 November 2007: Hiya! I am so pleased for you, your sounding so much better, and a hell of a lot more positive. Good for you. Its so nice when you try and help someone and they feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and then they begin to see that... (read in full...)

My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!

Q.   Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...

A.   20 September 2007: Hi, I have been sitting reading what has happened to you with a lump in my throat. Its so sad when you are in love with someone who falls for someone else. I should know this has happened to me. But surely by now you can see that the only time he ... (read in full...)

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