A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Is there any polite way to tell a friend that she shouldn't be posting pictures of herself, 53, in Lingerie on her facebook page?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): We try our best!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHa Ha Ha! You two are great! What a laugh!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Why Uncle Phil...shame on you :o
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): Before I can make an informed decision on this, I would need to see her 'in the flesh'. So with that in mind - what's the URL of her photo's page?Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I have noticed that people tend to hide behind that anonymous thing as well... LOL! Thank you both for replies and the support - TELLULAH and happytochat - Big Hugs!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Hey,I am a regular on this site. And the one major thing I have noticed, is that when someone has something nasty to say. They uasually stay ANON. I dont mean you by the way, you were just concerned about your friend. I'm talking about the nasty male that wrote that reply to you. What a ...TWAT.At least you can admit that you made an error. I think you make a great friend and would have done the same.XX
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (25 January 2008):
Just cause she had the photos taken for a fashion show doesnt mean she has to post them over the internet. Anyway, dont beat yourself up about it, you didnt know. You didnt have any bad intentions, you were just worried about your friend and what people may think of her.
In reply to what another poster said, doing what you did doesnt mean you are acting like her parent and not a friend - a true friend dosnt stand by and let their friends do things that will hurt them, they look out for them and tell them when they are worried about them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell aren't you helpful. It wasn't necessary for me to right back when I had made the mistake, but I did and I raked myself over the coals for it. You obviously are a regular on the sight, otherwise you wouldn't have read the reply, so perhaps you work on the site. Thanks for nothing.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): She was doing a fashion show!? I'm not sure why that fact has changed your attitude.
She's 53, old enough to make her own informed decisions. As a friend you could have supported her, and been there for her if she needed you. Instead you decided what was best for her. That doesn't sound like a friend. It sounds like a parent.
I don't think your acting on an assumption is the problem here. I think it's your patronising attitude.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I remembered that her birthday was around now, so I said something along the lines that seeing her in her birthday suit reminded me of her birthday. Well, it turns out that she was doing a fashion show for a friend of hers. Now I just feel really bitchy and judgmental. That what I get for sticking my nose in other people's business. I just picked up the notes from a lecture that I attended and one of the comments that I wrote down OBVIOUSLY did NOT sink in. "We make the majority of our decisions based on less than 5% of the information that is available to us.". It's like the old, when you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME, and I did it to myself. Crap.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Everyone,
Many thanks for the input. I'm taking it all on board before I decide if I'll contact her about it. She is a childhood friend, and it's been about 25 years since I've seen her - and that MUCH of her - LOL!
Thanks for taking the time to answer!
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (22 January 2008):
If I was in your position, I would first start off by just asking her why she put the photos up. Ask her what sort of attention/reaction she hopes to gain from posting half naked photos and what reaction she thinks she will truly get. You could also say something like "I am concerned about you because of the photos you have posted of yourself..." then say exactly what makes you concerned.
If she gets defensive or offended by what you say, just remind her that you care about herself and are just concerned about what shes doing.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 January 2008):
No,
Just tell her, she is going to make herself look Ridiculous. And as her good friend, you dont want people to laugh at her.
We both know where we are coming from dont we?
XX
Tellulah
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A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (22 January 2008):
 surely it's her choice? IF that's the kind of attention she's after then you can't tell her what to do.
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