A
female
age
41-50,
*eenie
writes:my husbands cousin has moved in last week- she's always been clingy to us, but i'm thinking of other idea's she has. because they are staying up later on a night, he tells me he will be up to bed shortly and doesnt for hours! we have hardley had a sexual relationship since she moved in - but he says its a bit uncomfy at moment, with her nxt bedroom. also he keeps asking me if i want to go out with my friends on my own - which we have hardly done before, but he says we ought to, we have been together 16 years and married 7 am i just been paranoid because i have to adjust to another woman in the house!
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Is he cheating with our lodger (who is also his cousin)? Is he cheating? What should I do? Our relationship is going downhill and I have always liked his cousin and I know he likes me. It's my cousin! What can I do? How can our relationship be 'outed' to our parents? Is he cheating or am I overreacting?? My fiance accuses me of cheating, he's also immature, how can I cope? |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Good Girl,
At least you know what you are dealing with. You can save your relationship, if thats what you want. But darling, get that Girl out of your home ASAP. All the time she is there its doing more damage, and you dont deserve this.
Tellulah
XX
A
female
reader, weenie +, writes (8 February 2008):
weenie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you telluah, for all your advice, todays been an agony he's been out at work all day so i thought right i'll make copies of the recordings- for when i confront him first then he cant get at the one i show him, but whilst i was on the computer upstairs ( we also have a laptop downstairs- which i mainly used) i noticed on the note pad some scribling and have found out he's opened another email account and she has( he's not one for things like that) he's always had just the one and he normally keeps the emails signed in- but no they think they have covered there tracks- well thats what they think!speak to you soon xx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (8 February 2008):
Hi Honey,
What an awfull thing for you to go through, but just as I expected. Yes! she is only 16 with nothing, and he is a man of 30, unfortunatly thats the atraction.
If I were you I would tell him that you know what has been going on, and tell him she has to go. Dont let him talk you into letting this girl stay, it will be the death of your relationship. She needs to go now.
He has been an idiot, and whether or not you forgive him will be up to you. I wouldn't say throw him out as well, not yet anyway. But you do need to make a stand.
XX
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A
female
reader, weenie +, writes (8 February 2008):
weenie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell its 5 in the morning and my heads in a spin -- so i voice recorded them a couple of times thursday like when i left the room- nothing much until i voiced them again when i went for a bath i only recorded 29mins and i could hear moaning noises as they had the tv on a bit loud, but just before i arrived back downstairs, they obviously heard me coming and he said " you go in and aske do you want a cuppa" she replied "i darent" then there was loads of giggling?- but he then came in washing his hands in the kitchen sink i asked him why? he said he wee'd on them upstairs ( we have a sink in the toilet) so i went to bed 30 mins after - but this time i video'd them on a mobile well i watched - nothing serious happend thank god( probably was the moaning earlier) but they were snuggled on the sofa legs entwined- well because i couldnt sleep i came down to check on them? and he went to bed i'v been up all night trying to figure out why? she's only been here a week ( i know it has just started because we live in scarborough and she's was from leeds until she came to live last week!)but she's only 16 and he's 30 in 2 months with 3 boys to me the youngest 9 months- why risk our lifestyle with someone with no money prospects or a roof over there head!!!!! he has everything a family needs - what do i do?. i have been with him for 17 years and married 7 and never once argued, fought or been apart from each other (apart from when children in hospital - i stayed at hosp) do you think its just an infatuation with her or that its something else, i dont want to loose him or put our children through any of this? please help with your advice
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A
female
reader, weenie +, writes (7 February 2008):
weenie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell last night he came straight upstairs, so didnt catch them at owt yet, but tonight i will go to bed early so i know he wont come up to bed with me.... so see what happens eh?
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A
female
reader, weenie +, writes (6 February 2008):
weenie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou to all your replies, i'm going to do a bit of investigating... tonight when i goto bed and leave them downstairs i'm going to secretly film them with my camera, i've spent last 2 hours finding the right spot and have found it! so they wont even know, i havent actually gone out with my friends though yet and left them, it's just the way they are in the house.... i will keep you all posted and thank you
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (6 February 2008):
I am sorry to say that alarm bells are ringing.
If he hadn't tried to talk you into going out on your own, and leaving them alone, I would say you might be paranoid. But something about this is all wrong. Why did the cousin not offer to go out with you and the rest of your girlfriends. I would be very wairy of this woman, she is up to no good. I just hope that your husband isnt playing along and I am wrong.
XX
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A
female
reader, randomgirl +, writes (6 February 2008):
no way should she be staying with you
it's up to you as a person to realise your boundaries,
whether your husband is cheating or not, this girl is making you uncomfortable with your husband and in your own house!
get shot of her, it's something you need to do for your own peace of mind.
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