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I'm not gay but I like the idea of it!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2009)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi ppl, im straight and have a gf, but i like this show i watch and its kinda guy on guy relationship show aimed at teenage girls. i like it cuz its funny and interesting, but when this 1 scene in the first episode where the 2 guys kiss, i just wish i was him. I thought it was romantic and sweet. im not gay but i like the idea of it. i love my gf alot so im still highly interested in girls. i need to know! just cuz im a guy that likes that does it make me gay? (or bi?)

p.s I act feminine sometimes and submissive

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you all for your helpful advice. i cant say for sure whether or not i am gay but i would kiss a guy personally a friend of mine if i had the chance to, but i would only go as far as kissing. nothing more intimate then that. whether im gay or not, i would have to accept myself for it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009):

So its like a soap opra, I now this one tv show I liked was just like that, maybe a little more heated. You thought it was "romantic and sweet" so what. You said it your self, "im not gay" so you think your straight. Theres a lot of guys who are sensitive and feminine but there straight, you cant really stero type if a guy is gay bc he's feminine. You didn't really have any emotions to it othere than, I wish I kissed that guy and the setting, I personally think it looks hotter when two guys kiss then a guy and a girl or a two girls kissing. There more intemate at times I think, and with the atmessphere it could be easy for any guy to get swept up into the moment or moments like that. I think your straight though, trust me if you like guys you'd know it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009):

You liked that it was romantic, I don't think your gay. A bi person likes both, girls and guys. EXAMPLE: I like that girl or guy, I'm going to date them. I would stop watching that tv. show though. Because its mixing your emotions and making you confused. Another reason I don't think your gay is because you wheren't sexually aroused to it, you liked the idea of two people being together in a romantic setting, and maybe subconsciously thats what you want with your gf, is to have that kind of love. Personally I'm bi and I get sexually aroused or even a boner when to guys kiss. If this helps great, if not sorry.

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A male reader, NightLad Canada +, writes (2 May 2009):

NightLad agony auntHi there,

The American Psychological Association defines Sexual Orientation as:

“Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes. Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions.”

Until you recognize an emerging pattern of being attracted to other guys, I’d suggest you try not to over-think a one-time fantasy or daydream. Sexual orientation is a complex and multifaceted thing.

For more on the topic, I suggest you read the full Q&A from the American Psychological Association.

http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html

I hope this helps.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2009):

TELLULAH agony auntIts hard not to worry about what people will think, but its even harder to live a lie. Its only as complex as you make it, you dont have to choose either one if you dont want to. Life is all about choices, and as long as you dont hurt your G/F by being unfaithfull you wont do anyone any harm. What other people think is irelevant, its your life.

XX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i love my girlfriend alot and i love her for her. so i would more likely be bi. im also afraid what people would think, friends, family. idk, i like how its romantic and passionate when they kissed on that show. i dont see it as a sexual thing at all.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2009):

Sounds like you are not 100% straight, but that doesn't mean you are bi or gay.

It's not that simple.

You have a girlfriend so at the moment you need to stick with her. but have a think with an open mind and see what you come up with.

If you become single again then you can go out and experiment a little bit.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (30 April 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntSexuality is a bit more complex then GAY-BI-HETERO.

More men then women are claimed to have same sex experiences despite how common female-on-female kisses are even in media.

How is your relationship with your GF? Are you with her because a guy has to have a girl or because you want to be with her and desire her and not just because you are expected to?

If so, then you are probably just a guy who is somewhere between hetero and gay. Where? Well, if you are decent guy it should matter little while you are with this girl.

Don't try to pigeon-hole yourself, life is way to complex for that.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2009):

TELLULAH agony auntMmm I was going to say NO till I read the last part.

Dont know if your actually gay, but you could definatly be BI. Watching a film does not make you gay, but if it goes further and you act on your feelings, then you will have to decide is your G/F right for you, or would you prefer a man?.

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