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Loving a cheater

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2009)
A female South Africa age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

im pregnant and love my boyfriend very much but the thing is he is cheating on me, when i ask him about it he always want to put the blame on other people, for instance he would blame me accusing me of listening to my brother's girlfriend. i just wish he would just tell me the truth maybe i will be better. he just wont say anything or He would just say he loves me. what should i do? i was thinking of leaving him but he just wont leave me alone.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (20 April 2009):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntIf you are sure that he cheated on you, leave him.

You might have to go through a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo, but it will be worth it in the end.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2009):

TELLULAH agony auntIf you are sure he cheated, then you need time out. He needs to tell you the truth, to put your mind at ease.

You must think about yourself and your baby, dont you deserve a man you can trust? Also if he can cheat on you now, it does not look good for the future.

My advice would be find out the total truth, and then decide what you need to do. But dont let him make the decision for you, by keep washing over this with the love crap.


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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009):

move on - life is too short to waste your time on someone who is so reckless with your heart. He really is not that into you. Find someone who does and will love you.

if he can and will change and you are prepared to accept that is risky. Then just tell him that you are not going to allow him to cheat or anything similar. That he is on a red card warning. You dont want any excuses - you want him 100% body and soul anything less and its over.

however, my view is move on. really there are better men out there, regardless of the baby situation.


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A female reader, pebble United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2009):

pebble agony auntYou can either move on from him and make you and your baby a better life OR you can stay with him and spend the of your life wondering where he is, who he is with and if he's having sex with her right now...

In my experience cheaters don't change. I mean, you're pregnant and he's still cheating on you!! Would it even be possible for you to forgive that?

Move on, I say. And if he bothers you still, contact the police.

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A female reader, littletigle11 United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2009):

littletigle11 agony auntPersonally, i just leave. I would never date a cheater. Done.

But you love him and you're carring his child, that makes it hard to walk.

I honestly think you should seek solace in your mom and tell him you can't date a cheater and that he can see his child whenever he wants, but he'll be nothing to do with you, and move on.

I know it's scary and not exactly ideal, but you have to think for you as well as your unborn child.

Make sure you're happy first.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009):

You have to decide whether you are happy to be with this man and put up with his cheating or not. If you are not happy with it, then move on with your life. Once a cheater, always a cheater. As far as leaving you alone, if he becomes a pest, go to your local police station and file a restraining order against him.

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