A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My love and I broke up about a month ago . we have seen each other three times now in socail situtation .Plus we run into each other at work . Even though it was his idea for the break up . He still looks at me with that love sick puppy look . my co workers and friends are the ones who mentioned it to me . He also lights up when I walk into a room .Goes out of his way to talk to me . Yet barely texts or talks to me on the phone . He ended thing so he could work on some issues he has one being drinking , he is in AA and has been sober for 30 days yay him! He also said he need to discover the underaying reason for his drinking before he can commit to anyone. He said he also has to learn to stand up to his family where I am involed . They don't like the fact that he left his wife and we started dating while he was separted , they are now divorced.His family feels the marriage would have made it if I hadn't been around . Both him and his ex said it was a better friendship than a marriage. He is in therapy also . I have already started to see changes . I have told him I am proud of him .I guess my question really is do I continue to go on dates with him and sort wait for him ? I truelly love him . Feel really confused . (I have been in therapy for grief after the death of my mom and sister and being the one to envoke the DNR. In basic terms saying it was ok for them to die. The right thing but such a hard thing to do .)So know this can take a long time .
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Hi,
Sounds like you both had a really rough time lately.
Your B/F sounds like he is trying to put his life back in order, and thats fantastic and very brave of him.
You darling, need to look out for yourself though. I'm not saying dont wait, because the only person that can decide that is you! But dont stop living your life, in case he decides not to be with you. Daneah is right "What ever will be, will be".
Put please dont put all your eggs in one basket.
Take care xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were together for over three years . I hv always gave space when he needed it . He has been the one that has always gone after me . I don't think I was a rebound . Since he admitted the last two years of his marriage they had lived as roommates . Bit I could be wrong .
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A
female
reader, Daneah +, writes (20 August 2010):
Sounds like your ex-boyfriend is really trying to do something very good for himself and for his future relationships. But, because you may have been a rebound relationship for him since he was divorcing what sounds like a good friend for him, you should be careful in thinking of a realtiionship with him. He sounds like a good man who has his head together & trying to get his life back in order. There is a possibility, it sounds, as though the pressure of his family wanting his marriage to work may keep his heart with his ex-wife; at least for a period of time. It might be less of a heart break for everyone if you just sit back for awhile and let him make the first moves. If he calls you to date, than I would go for it but give him some space to figure out where his heart is. What ever is meant to be will happen eventually in time. If you and he are truly in love, you'll be together some day soon. He may just need some time to heal. (I'm sorry for you loss too)
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