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*V1 agony aunt

*V1

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*V1's profile:

Hi! My name is Devin, but my friends call me DV1. I currently live in Pennsylvania, USA. I'm currently in a serious relationship, and I've found that special someone... I've been in and out of relationships for many years. I've been lied to, cheated on, and lost friendships over relationships. I've found that I've taken many lessons from my experiences, and I want to use those experiences to help others. I'm just your average, run-of-the-mill guy, who sees himself as a hopeless romantic of sorts. I'm just lucky that I've found that special someone who doesn't get involved in drama, and just wants me for me. I want to help others find someone, or stay with someone who makes them feel appreciated. If I can cause at least one person on this planet to find or hold onto happiness, then my job here is done.

Best wishes,

DV1

Why do I always talk to my parents about my girlfriend?

Q.   For some reason after everytime I see my girlfriend when I return home I have to let off steam and talk to parents about her. The thing is most of the stuff I say is not neccesary but other things are. I think I have gotten into habbit but there are ...

A.   21 May 2007: It's all about degree of comfort. If you feel comfortable around your parents, it's natural to want to blow off steam with them. There may be a degree of discomfort in being open with your girlfriend. Try and figure out if you're uncomfortable being ... (read in full...)

How do I ask my wife for anal sex?

Q.   How do I ask my wife for anal sex? We used to do it. I'd always wait for her to ask. No pressure! But now it's been about 4 years it doesn't happen. I miss it a lot....

A.   21 May 2007: Tell her that you'd like to attempt it again. DV1... (read in full...)

I had unprotected sex in a pool. Is there a chance she might be pregnant?

Q.   This evening I was engaged in unprotected sex in a pool. I did not ejaculate at all, but I had done so erlier that afternoon. I showered after I ejaculated that afternoon, but I did not pee. Could any of my precum have actual sperm becuase I didnt ...

A.   21 May 2007: It's remotely possible that she could be pregnant. The only way you're really going to know is to have her tested. DV1... (read in full...)

He sent me a text saying he was not ready to have a relationship. Was that his way of turning me down?

Q.   Do you think there is a way to patch things to kiss and make up, when the relationship has been driven to the wall. I am supposed to have broken up with my boyfriend of two months, but im thinking i should not break anything but to just keep quiet ...

A.   21 May 2007: Being in the same situation right now, I can tell you exactly how he is feeling at the moment. He is trying to take care of his goals. When it comes down to it, his studies really have nothing to do with it. When a girl breaks up with a guy, he ... (read in full...)

How can I tell my boyfriend that I'm pregnant without scaring him away?

Q.   hey i just found out im pregnant this morning i took 2 tests and both came out positive im so upset nd scared of wot my parents will say but i dont even know how 2 tell him, i tried after i found out on the fone but i started crying nd hung up, how ...

A.   21 May 2007: For the sake of your baby, you need to sort through your emotions. It's not just about your fears anymore. You have a big responsibility coming your way. At this point, you have no choice but to tell him. You're probably doing more emotional damage ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my friend I suspect his gf got "accidentally pregnant" on purpose?

Q.   so how do i help my best friend. he is 21 (just) and has been going out with a girl (now 27) for 10 months. though he now stays at her house every night (for last 4 months). 3 months ago he told me she does not like me as we have always been close ...

A.   21 May 2007: There's nothing that you can say that will help the situation. He needed to stand up for himself, even if the end result was him being alone. She seems like she's trying to trap him in a relationship by making him have kids. If he's unemployed, and ... (read in full...)

Having money problems and feel like I can't afford to go on my friend's birthday night out... can I??

Q.   Im in a real dilemma all advise welcome!!! its my friends birthday next week and and shes arranged to go to this place up london, the problem is im having real money trouble at the moment (she knows my financial situation) ive already told her i ca...

A.   21 May 2007: You could always make up the night to her as well. Write her a book of poems or sing to her. Sometimes, it's the small things that don't cost anything that mean the most. DV1... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!

Q.   Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...

A.   21 May 2007: Keep it rockin' my friend. You're doing a very good thing, and I'm proud to have a small part in it. I'm glad that you're giving me a chance to help spare people of the stuff that I've been through. - DV1... (read in full...)

We split after 4 years and I didn't see it coming. I can't stop crying--please help!

Q.   I have recently split up with my boyfriend after 4 years i didn't see it coming i feel so alone and confused i can't stop crying, now he's started to treat me as if i never matterd to him he used to tel me all the time that he loved me more than ...

A.   21 May 2007: When someone is hurt, they say hurtful things. He probably loves you very deeply, and was trying to make you feel what he felt. You're going to feel empty for a while. It's almost a sense of grieving to end a long relationship. It's like losing half ... (read in full...)

He likes me more that just a friend! I only want a friendship with him-How do I tell him without causing him hurt?

Q.   i know is guy and weve been friends for like a week. hes awsome. he makes me laugh. hes kind. etc the problem is that i think (as all of my friends have alredy told me) that he wants to be more than "just friends" with me. I dont im fine with he ...

A.   21 May 2007: Insinuate into the conversation that you're only looking for a friend. Do it in an indirect way that doesn't seem like you're targeting him. Dv1... (read in full...)

Am I being selfish by not telling my bf, I have cheated on him twice?

Q.   Hi there I have been dating this guy for 3 years and we are still madly in love. The problem is I have cheated twice during those years. I feel bad but dont want to lose him. I have changed my ways and dont cheat anymore, the relationship is ...

A.   21 May 2007: You need to tell him. One way or the other, he'll find out. Guys talk to each other, and someone down the line will let him know. You're right, you're probably going to lose him, but that was your choice. You knew exactly what you were doing when ... (read in full...)

He's looking a nude pics of his ex who models on this website! It hurts-what should I do?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend since Nov 2005. We currently live together. Last week I found out he was looking at pics of his ex on the internet. She's on this website modeling in the nude. Thing is we had loads of problems with him before chatting ...

A.   21 May 2007: He's doing the classic bait and switch. He's trying to take the blame and turn it on you. I've been the victim of this many times. The person cheats or looks at pictures of their ex, and then blames you. It's not worth hanging around. If he wants ... (read in full...)

We will still date but he's leaving to another state! I hate this and I told him..why doesn't he listen?

Q.   Hello, My boyfriend is going to Missouri, leaving me. We will still be together, for the most part, but I can't stand having him leave me like that. I'm going to Boston on a trip so I'll be gone for three days out of around like 6 or 7 he is. What...

A.   21 May 2007: If he's trying to keep the relationship going, that's a good sign. He's probably got other goals, but at the same time, is willing to balance it out. Just because he's in another state doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or care about your ... (read in full...)

I am worried that my fears of my ex not being honest with me will get worse. What can I doto overcome this?

Q.   Hi, I am in need of some relationship advice!! I broke up from my girlfriend approximately 1 and a half months ago. My relationship with her lasted just short of two years, which for both of us was the longest time we had committed to anyone ...

A.   21 May 2007: I know that this sounds harsh, but she's your ex now. It's over, and done. I know that you're hurting, but you need to remember that you still put your head on a pillow at night. You've(hopefully) got your health, and a plethora of other things to ... (read in full...)

Without being rude, how can I get it across to him--that I won't stand for any messing around or cheating?

Q.   I like this boy and he likes me. He has gone away for a month. I have a feeling he is keeping something from me, even though he said he only had eyes for me. What shall I say to get across the message that I won't stand for any messing around o...

A.   21 May 2007: At the beginning of the relationship, you should have told him about your boundaries. If you haven't already, you need to do so immediately. If he said that he only had eyes on you, you need to take it for face value. Until he has actually done ... (read in full...)

My finacee resents my new online guy friend from NZ! He has female friends...so why can't I have male friends?

Q.   Hello, I really need help here... I'm engaged and living with a man for the past 3 years now..things are going well, and I really only have one complaint. He works these crazy hours and I almost never see him..now I know everyone has to work, so ...

A.   21 May 2007: He is trying to control you, and you need to get away from him while you can. DV1... (read in full...)

He says he's never felt like this for anyone-but, he is a player! Should I believe him?

Q.   Well I’ve been friends with this guy for about 3 years, and we were always very close. He’s what you call a player, and hugs all the girls at school (including me). In the last year, he’s said he fancies me, and I like him that way too. In the last...

A.   21 May 2007: If a guy starts randomly giving you bad looks, it generally means that someone told him something about you. It may or may not be true, but someone probably told him something about you. It's either that, or you did something to offend him. You need ... (read in full...)

Even though he says that his 'texting other women" was all innocent, he wants to get his own flat, now! What is up with this guy?

Q.   just recently found out my patner has been secretly texting another woman. i lost my temper and threw him out .he says it is innocent and now says he wants to get a flat because he cant handle the kids im so confused please help....

A.   21 May 2007: It sounds like he wants to be single again. Some people never truly grow up, regardless of what responsibilities they put on their plate, or what choices that they make. I think that it's best for the kids that you find someone more mentally prep... (read in full...)

Still uncertain that our breakup was the right thing to do. Is this just a sign of the grieving process or something else?

Q.   I've ended a relationship after over 4 years as I knew deep down that we had reached the end of the road. I had been confused over my feelings for a good few months and could never see a longer term future for us. It was my feelings for him that ...

A.   21 May 2007: Do you have a fear of being alone? One thing that I've seen many people go through is almost a state of emotional shock after a breakup. I dumped my last girlfriend, but I wasn't used to being alone, and it made me depressed for a while. I found ... (read in full...)

Is it too much to expect him to be a dad every now and then, and perhaps a husband occasionally?

Q.   I have been with my husband for 12 years and we have 3 kids. He has his own business and it has always taken up a lot of his time, though in the early days there was less pressure and he used to take a day off each week and we used to have a holiday ...

A.   21 May 2007: You need to confront him as soon as he wakes up. It doesn't matter if it's 5 in the morning. While he's getting dressed, talk to him. Set your alarm. If he takes a shower, get in with him. I'm not trying to sound dirty, but maybe you two need to ... (read in full...)

I percieve the act of sex as something 'dirty' rather than something pleasurable. How do I deal with this?

Q.   hiya. I find it easy to talk about sex but i find it very difficult to be intimate with someone. The thought of being intimate in a sexual way with someone does not appeal to me and for some reason i see it as dirty rather than something pleasu...

A.   21 May 2007: I think that you should fall in love. I've heard that when two people are in love, there's more than just the act that's involved. It's about sharing something truly special. You may also need to look to your past, or within yourself. You may find a ... (read in full...)

I think im bored in my relationship and its really irritating me. what should I do?

Q.   I don't know whats wrong with me but I seem to think negative about my relationship and girlfriend. Im not sure but I think im bored in my relationship and its really irritating me. All we ever do is the same and now my girlfriend won't even visit ...

A.   21 May 2007: Relationships are about compromise. If it's turning into a one-sided game where she holds all of the cards, your best bet is to cash in your chips. If she's not willing to work at it, you shouldn't give her the satisfaction of making you do the ... (read in full...)

Is my partner of 5 years gay because he was texting gay men?

Q.   my partner of 5 years is everything in a man i have ever wanted, he has very endearing qualities and treats me like a princess.Then 3 weeks ago i found out he was flirting with another women at work and he stated he did not sleep with her and never ...

A.   21 May 2007: It sounds like you've damaged his ego somehow. The problem may lie in how often you tell him that you care about him. When a guy treats a woman like a princess, he is putting her on a pedastool. The problem with this is when he does so, the woman, ... (read in full...)

How do I tell this guy, who says he loves me, I'm not ready for a relationship right now?

Q.   The guy I am dating has already started called me 'love', saying he loves me, etc, wanting to see me all the time. I like him, and I think he's great, but I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment, and especially not one that is moving this ...

A.   21 May 2007: You have to be honest with him. The longer you wait, the more damage it's going to do to his heart and his ego. If he really loves you, he'll be willing to wait(assuming you want him to). Otherwise, you need to sit him down and tell him that the ... (read in full...)

My GF is either insecure or smothering me becoz I have to put 'I love you' at the end of every text msg!

Q.   I think my girlfriend may be smothering me slightly but im not sure. In the past year and a half we have literally put 'Love you' after every single text we send even when we text 10 times in 5 minutes...And I have gotten to the point I hate doing ...

A.   21 May 2007: It sounds like she is paranoid that you're going to break up with her. If she feels the need to remind you that she loves you constantly, something probably is nagging at her. It sounds like some sort of rumor might have been told to her, making her ... (read in full...)

Why do we argue about the little things?

Q.   I like this girl more than anything, but we seem to argue about the smallest things. When she asked me, "why do we argue bout little things?" I coudnt answer! Can anyone answer???...

A.   21 May 2007: It's sounds like you two are in love. When you're in love with someone, you tend to argue about really small things. It's more to get a rise out of the other person than really arguing. It sounds like you both want attention from each other,whether ... (read in full...)

How can I learn to trust men, when every guy I've dated dumps me after sex!?

Q.   Okay, I dated this guy for like a week, and it was more of just a fling, but does that give him a right to just dump me after having sex.. even though I told him all about my past and how every guy always does that to me. He promised he wouldn't ...

A.   20 May 2007: I'm not trying to sound mean at all when I say this, but maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate what you look for in a person. Before you get into bed with someone, try asking around, and seeing if anyone has had any bad experiences with them. It's ... (read in full...)

How can i find out if my ex is calling me names??

Q.   hiya, I am 13 and recently i just broke up with my bf but i still like him. However, hes been calling me names and when a mate of mine asked him whether he was he said no and that his mates were making up stuff but another guy said that he was lyin...

A.   20 May 2007: You shouldn't worry about it. At your age, there are plenty of guys around you to meet. It's not good to involve yourself with people who could bring your life potential negativity. Best of luck, DV1... (read in full...)

She says she is 'confused' and we are arguing all the time!!!

Q.   I am having really bad problems and am looking for some help. I have been with my civil partner for 6 years and we had a civil partnership last August. The past five months have not been pleasant as my partner renewed a 'friendship' with someone ...

A.   20 May 2007: If the Swede respects you at all, she would understand that your girlfriend has chosen you for the time being. Your partner needs to make a choice, and stop playing with you. The best thing that you can do is to tell her that the longer she lets ... (read in full...)

Am I right to just get on with my life???

Q.   Hi Guys. I've had loads of help from you over the last few months. I split up with my partner after over 4 years of being together a couple of months ago. My feelings for him had changed and felt like we were in a brother/sister type ...

A.   20 May 2007: This is a classic case of one-sided feelings. A person has no right to force another person into a relationship. If you don't love him, the best thing that you can do for both of you is tell them that you're in the same place. If you want to take ... (read in full...)

Ive fallen in love with my teacher, Yes I know its wrong, but surely this is different ?

Q.   Well yeah , like so many others on here I've fallen madly in love with a teacher. No I know , Not good. Please don't say it's a "crush" because yeah I'm young but I've already had a 2 year relationship which wasn't immature but actually a great...

A.   20 May 2007: It's a normal thing to fall for a teacher. The student teachers coming to our school really aren't that much older than us, therefore making it hard not to. If you want to express interest in them, wait until their time student teaching is up, ... (read in full...)

Ive been with her a year and love her, but I'm worried shes ashamed of me!!

Q.   Hiya I've been with my girlfriend now for almost a year. I love her very much and believe that she feels the same way. The problem however is I feel she may be embarssed by me. In the time we've been together I've only met her flatmate and this ...

A.   20 May 2007: It appears to me that she's questioning who she is, and what she wants at the moment. She may also be experiencing some newfound curiousity in the opposite sex. As far as her friends are concerned, she may feel like she sees you all the time at ... (read in full...)

I've fallen for her but shes married, she loves me too, but it can never be, Im so hurt and never loved before, please help!!

Q.   I met one girl who is 10 years older to me in my office.She is married.But she liked me alot.She tried to talk with me and tried to come close to me.In the begining i tried alot to make her understand that its wrong.BUt after some time i started ...

A.   20 May 2007: The first love is always the worst one. Most times, it's never meant to be, and can leave a big hole in us the rest of our lives. You need to realize that there is going to be someone else for you out there. At the moment, she is married. If she is ... (read in full...)

Can this still be classed as rape as I just gave in to get it over quicker ?

Q.   i dont know if i was raped or not. i went to a party last week and got quite drunk. i didnt think i was that drunk but i do remeber people saying that i was sluring my words and there are parts of the night that i cant remeber. about 3 in the...

A.   20 May 2007: If you said no, even once, it's rape. Period. You should go to a doctor immediately, because it's harder to prove over time. I wish you the best of luck. DV1... (read in full...)

Always thought we were meant to be together, now that were are why dont we hardly have sex ?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a man who I've known since high school. I thought we were meant to be together and we talked about having a sexual relationship for a while and how often we wanted to do it. Now that we are together, we hardly do it. ...

A.   20 May 2007: There is a definite difference in the sexual drive of two different people. Some people want it more, and some want it less. He might just be saving himself for the right moment. He also may feel extremely pressured about it. Stress affects the ... (read in full...)

My husband doesnt contribrute to the household, is there any hope for us ?

Q.   i am married, have three children, one from a previous relationship. me and husband both work, but he does not contribute much to the house hold or physically, the property we live in is too small and belongs to me, but i frightened to get joint ...

A.   20 May 2007: Marraige is a contract. Both people are agreeing to contribute as equally as possible to the household that they are creating. You need to tell him to accept that responsibility or tell him to get lost. DV1... (read in full...)

How can I learn to trust men, when every guy I've dated dumps me after sex!?

Q.   Okay, I dated this guy for like a week, and it was more of just a fling, but does that give him a right to just dump me after having sex.. even though I told him all about my past and how every guy always does that to me. He promised he wouldn't ...

A.   20 May 2007: If you dated a guy for only a week, and you got into bed with him, you should have expected it. When a girl gets into bed with a guy that fast, it generally gives them the impression that you were in it for only one thing - sex. You probably gave ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my bf I saw another man come out of the shower with just a towel on?

Q.   I am an Indian girl in USA and have a boyfriend in India who I known since 6 years. I went on a business trip with this friend of mine (male,Indian) who is sweet and nice but I have never developed any sort of feelings for him. We were sharing a b...

A.   20 May 2007: It wasn't your fault. Your boyfriend would have no reason to be upset with you. Tell him what happened, and he'll most likely just shrug it off. Just make it clear that there's only one man that you want to see in a towel. DV1... (read in full...)

I want to find a partner who is a virgin like me! This is important to me...any advice?

Q.   I am a 22 year old single, virgin guy. I have been in fairly long term relationships which have broken down largely because I have not been able to handle the fact that the girl I was with in each case was not a virgin. I am not religious, and appr...

A.   20 May 2007: Before you say "yes" to dating someone, you need to put out your needs. Tell her right off that you've been waiting for the right person, and if she can't respect that, don't waste your time. A healthy relationship should be based upon more than ... (read in full...)

I feel bad he has a gf, but if he was happy with her...would he be with me?

Q.   Hi I recently started a new job and i met this chef, he is amazing and after i was there about a week we kissed and it was great, the next day i found out he ad a girlfriend. so the next day i met him to confront him but i ended up kissing him agai...

A.   20 May 2007: Wait it out, and see how their relationship plays out. If someone is already with him, give the person that much respect. If it's meant to be, it will happen in time. Dv1... (read in full...)

I really like this guy, who I turned down for a date, 4 years ago. What should I do?

Q.   this boy asked me out four years ago when i was 11 and i said no cause i was stupid, young and scared but soon after i started to really fancy him. now i'm 15 and i still haven't got over him properly- that's my problem. i care about him so much and ...

A.   20 May 2007: Ask him out for coffee. It's only a few minutes time, and generally a guy is willing to have that short of a conversation. DV1... (read in full...)

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