A
male
age
36-40,
*omentum
writes:I am a 22 year old single, virgin guy. I have been in fairly long term relationships which have broken down largely because I have not been able to handle the fact that the girl I was with in each case was not a virgin.I am not religious, and appreciate that to a lot of people virginity is not a great issue, but it is really, really important to me to share my first time with another virgin. This is not something I can or want to change. My problem is finding a partner who is also a virgin. I am a sensitive, outgoing person who loves meeting new people. However, I don't openly admit to being a virgin and wouldn't really expect people I meet to do so either, at least in dating or singles adverts.I don't want to be single any more!!! Any advice would be really appreciated. Cheers. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): I can understand this issue if you are going to marry this virgin girl or , better still wait until you are both married , because after you have deflowered this girl , then the next bloke could ultimately have the same problem that you had with your exes. These days , it is getting harder to find virgins. Unless you queue up at the school gates. What a sad reflection on todays society. Like you I insisted on virginity for a wife , it was out of the question me marrying a non virgin. I would rather be single all my life. But , if you want a virgin , you might have to consider less attractive girls.Drop down a league or two ,in order to widen your choice. You then have the problem of finding out if she is or not. My advice is , early in the relationship , dont make a big issue of it. Otherwise , she might be tempted to lie about it. Thats the biggest nightmare of all. No , play the game properly , tell her you are not bothered about her past ,but dont go over the top or she might (incredible as it is) feel ashamed about being a virgin , if she still is. You have to find a balance whereby you can extract as much information about her past as possible.
It all depends on the situation and the girl in question. As you get to know her you should be able to weigh things up for what they are.
Physically , it will not be 100 percent test to see if she is still pure , some women dont bleed the first time. I would advise doing your homework on some medical books about this. It all helps. At the end of the day, you can never be 100 percent sure because all girls can lie about this important issue
best of luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): i totally admire you.i think people like you are rare and precious.i believe you will find a virgin to marry just keep searching
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): I really think that asking a girl if she is virgin or not to start a relation is not appropiate at all, so how can you start a relation by asking such inappropiate questions, it would sound horrible or rude to me, like the guy is thinking just in sex with me and that's all. So I think that the guy is right in preserving his virginity for another virgin if it's his decission, but on this days finding a 20 something virgin girl is quite not easy at all, unfortunately this days people don't value virginity, but you have the option to do it so and I think you are totally correct on you election. Patience is the key, there is always someone for us.., no matter what people says about your 'standards'.
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A
female
reader, drbroz  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 You have made a pretty big problem for yourself. You want to have sex with a virgin but you don't want to have to talk about it before getting to know someone. This is going to result in quite a few disappointed relationships after the young ladies find themselves rejected after a few dates because of your standards (and they weren't even advised before hand).
I fully understand and respect your right to want to find a virgin. You are not going to find this to be an easy task unless it really is the only criteria you require. In which case I suggest you find a really unattractive, unpleasant, possibly frigid young female. That will increase your odds. Now, if there are other aspects to a special someone that you decide are perhaps as important as her virginity, you may have to compromise. My very strong feeling is that when you look back upon this someday you are going to feel pretty foolish.
I just hope it isn't because you rejected the girl that could have made your life special.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (20 May 2007):
 Before you say "yes" to dating someone, you need to put out your needs. Tell her right off that you've been waiting for the right person, and if she can't respect that, don't waste your time. A healthy relationship should be based upon more than sex.
DV1
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (20 May 2007):
 People want what they want. If virginity is important to you, and you're not concerned with why, then it is nothing to work on changing. However, virginity is no longer the norm, so you have to work a little harder to find it.
My advice would be to advertise and be more open about your virginity. Posting online is a good first step and should open you up to like-minded women.
Best of luck.
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